Tag Commercials

Some People’s Children

Michael Leave a comment

If you aren’t yet you should be looking forward to the day when you become the parent of an adult child.  Oh when you get down to it they really aren’t all that much different from the non-adult child.  Your parenting skills will still be questioned but then, so will their childrening skills.  Many of the issues you already faced yourself.  Most of the problems will be expected, if not actually anticipated, or at least remembered more clearly.  And usually more expensive.

We figure the expense of childhood issues is going to catch up with the little ones shortly.  It all has to do with the recent wave of television commercials portraying children as members of real families and part of the decision making process.  We’ve had kids in commercials since there have been commercials.  Millions of people know that “Mikey likes it” but probably have no idea exactly what it is that Mikey likes.  But Mikey was cute.  And even at today’s inflated prices, we’re talking about a $3.00 box of cereal.  Not a big budget buster.

No, today’s kids are pushing thousands, even hundreds of thousands of dollars in single transactions just by being, well, by being bad kids.  Let’s start with the youngest in the crowd who carries his blanket with him wherever he goes.  Big deal, lots of kids do that.  But this one seems to take great pride into turning his blanket into an ice cream bowl just for kicks.  Grandma scoops out a nice big portion of ice cream and the kid immediately and deliberately dumps it onto his blanket.  Here that blanket would have then been declared garbage and tossed out with the trash.  There Grandma chuckles and the kid wins.  Again, not a budget buster but far from Mikey’s cuteness and a harbinger of things to come.

Those are the small victories that give other commercial children the audacity to demand their way or the highway.  Take the dad and child off the highway and park them on the rim of the Grand Canyon.  One of the Seven Wonders of the World and the kid sits in the car with the look of “yeah, I’ve seen pictures, so what” across his face.  Dad tries to find a way to “get to” his child, finally deciding to drive his new $30,000 car onto a bison range.  There one of the furry beasts walks up next to the car, fogs the window, and the kid is finally impressed.  You can tell he’s impressed because the voice over tells us so, and for a mere $30,000, plus travel expenses and release statement, you too can impress your child.

Perhaps the greatest display of petulance is the 9-ish year old whose parents determine that he should be part of their spending upwards of a quarter of a million dollars on a house.  House after house they look.  House after house he becomes more and more irked at the selections.  What’s missing here?  Why does he not like any of these fabulous structures?  Because there aren’t any big trees where he can build a playhouse.  It’s not just a house; it’s where you raise your family.  Or so says the pleasant voice at the end of the commercial.  Yeah, right.  And in a year he’ll forget about the tree house and for the next 10 years resent all of the leaves his parents will “force” him to rake every fall.  Them and their darn big trees.

Trust us, you’ll welcome being the parent of an adult child when most of the problems are expected.  And maybe not even more expensive.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

The Face of the Legal Profession

Michael Leave a comment

Remember when you were a kid.  Younger.  A little younger.  There!  You were in the backyard and they were picking up sides for the family football game.  Everybody played.  Boys, girls, even old people like teenagers.  And those teens were a font of information.  They would tell the youngsters. “If you want to get picked you have to look mean.  Meaner.  Meaner!”  And mean you looked.  You looked like a cross between a WWE Wannabe and a mountain lion with indigestion.  Very mean.  Some of those young ones, maybe even you, grew up to be a lawyer, but never gave up that face.

We bring this up because lawyers are on TV a lot right now.  Locally there are quite a few high profile cases being tried.  Between the “no comments” from the trial lawyers and prosecutors and the comments from the station commentators there are legal faces all over the television.  All trying to be “serious.”

It’s getting close to general election time and all of the local news outlets are starting to trot out their analysts to analyze the candidates and the candidates’ comments and/or no comments depending on, well, usually just depending because they are, after all, politicians.  Most of these analysts themselves are also politicians (just the ones who lost last time around) and, because you can never have enough of them, lawyers, too.  All trying to be “sincere.”

And because the law schools are pumping out so many lawyers it’s time for some of them to stand out from the crowd.  That means television ads.  For some, YouTube videos even.  (Those are the really scary ones but we digress.)  In these commercials, all the while trying to convince you that he or she is the perfect advocate to get money for you, they put on their not-so-happy face because you want someone not so happy to handle your personal injury claim.  All trying to be “compassionate.”  (Except for the guy with the pony tail who will file your bankruptcy with a smile, with a smile.)

Whether serious, sincere, or compassionate, they all look the same (except that pony tailed guy).  Somewhat like a mountain lion with indigestion.  Someone somewhere has told these lawyers that the law is a noble professional and should be held in reverence.  “So when you’re on TV, don’t look happy at somebody else’s misery!”  Unfortunately, the only non-happy look these guys can muster is wildlife with tummy troubles.

The next time you see a lawyer with some contorted facial expression and with what he thinks are penetrating eyes, don’t rush out to the office with a bottle of Pepto.  His pain will pass.  Faster than his clients’ will.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Truth in Advertising

Michael Leave a comment

Have you seen the ad on television for a laxative that across the bottom of the screen says “this is an advertisement?”  Really now, is this truth in advertising gone too far?  Is it necessary that every time somebody says something on a television ad that they must be identified as professional or everyday Joe?

Pay attention to the next ads for vitamins, pain relievers, or laxatives as they march across your TV screen.  There in a neatly pressed white consultation jacket is the spokesperson to tell you that the laxative will work gently overnight.  Just so you aren’t too taken away by the efficiency of those who invented said laxative, fine print across the bottom of the screen reminds you that the person in the neatly pressed white jacket is a “doctor dramatization.”  An actor even!  Now you know that he didn’t extoll the laxative’s overnight virtues from years of research but just read the ad copy.

Next, somebody is hawking the latest in floor cleaner.  It could be that she is just a regular Joe (or Josephine).  To be sure the little letters across the bottom of the screen now let you know that the person saying those nice things about the latest mop is being compensated for his or her time to tell you what the ad writers have written.

Labor Day recently gone by traditionally ushers in school starts, fall with its turning leaves, cooler temperatures, and the November general election.  Here, television ads for governor have been running on air throughout the summer.  Now they will only increase in frequency and annoyance.  The two candidates have a handful of different ads to air so that, we suppose, nobody gets too tired seeing the same one over and again.  But the one candidate’s, although with different backdrops, all say the same thing and start the same way.  “Did you see my opponent’s ad with this actress talking about me?”  Gee, we didn’t realize they used actors and actresses in political ads.  Is that important?  If they used real constituents to read the script nobody could keep a straight face for those 30 seconds.

It used to be so much easier when whomever regulates advertising said that a company couldn’t say their car got 100 miles per gallon when it barely got ten, when the hamburger bought at a drive through looked at least a little like the one on television, when the laundry soap got at least some of the stains out.

Now that they’ve taken care of those pesky issues we have to be careful that we don’t confuse an ad with a news report.  Remember the next time you see a person drooling over a frozen dinner on television to check the bottom of the screen and see if it doesn’t say “hungry person dramatization.”  You wouldn’t want to be misled that frozen food is tasty in its own right.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

True Lies

Michael Leave a comment

It’s been twenty years since Arnold Schwarzenegger kept the fact that he was a spy from his movie wife Jaime Lee Curtis in True Lies. She really wasn’t lied to as much as just not told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Not unlike a lot of stuff that’s going on now.

Even though it’s Spring and we are still getting legitimate bad weather, we do find ourselves with clear skies and no snow every couple of days a week. The weather forecasters, now used to a season’s worth of viewers hanging on to their every isobar must crave the days when something on their radar screens actually shows potential “Severe Weather.”   No problem. If the local forecast has no precipitation nearby, they just bring up some neighboring radar. And, voila, there we have the greens, and the blues, and the whites, and the greys we are used to seeing and they can say with all honesty, “This storm could dump another couple of inches before it’s all over.” Just because it’s 200 miles away doesn’t make it untrue.

Recently a sales brochure showed up in the mail. We think it was a sales brochure. It had glossy pages, colorful pictures, and big fonts declaring “$10 off!” But it never said $10 off what. Of a regular low, low price? Off an already discounted price? Off the manufacturer’s suggested retail price (AKA modern fiction)? There was no indication of what the starting or final price was or is. Ten dollars off, true. Cost to you, who knows.

Fine print is annoying in print ads usually requiring a good strong magnifying glass. Fine print on a television ad is basically useless. It’s at the bottom of the screen, still requiring a magnifying glass even with a 50 inch picture. And just as you are ready to focus in, it disappears. But now we have to deal with fine print on radio ads! If after the ad you hear a breathless individual who manages to speak at an annoying 720 words a minutes all in a near whisper, assume that everything you just heard clearly in the body of the ad has now been modified, restricted, or limited. The ad was absolutely true. You can indeed get cell phone service for 87 cents a month. However, the additional access, roaming, internet, texting, calling, receiving, and bill paying fees add up to $220 for the life of the contract unless the phone company decides to raise any or all of them.

These are just a few examples of today’s true lies. You can come up with many more if you think about it for thirty seconds or so. True? Absolutely. Misleading? Even more so. And it doesn’t take a spy to figure out what’s wrong with those pictures.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

The Twittering of America

Michael Leave a comment

Not too long ago we posted a post that posed the thought that everything has turned large.  (See “Large is the New Small,” February 3, 2014).

We have rethought that thought and now think that we think there is one thing not so large anymore.  America’s attention span.

In the course of her everyday business, She of We often sends out forms to be filled out.  But she always makes sure there are detailed instructions so one doesn’t get lost along the way.

Invariably, the first 2 or 3 of those are followed to the letter and then after that the recipient fills in whatever, wherever, and for who knows whyever as he or she wants.

In the course of his everyday business, He of We often presents training sessions on new or changed company policies.

Just last week he presented such one and began as he always does with “This information comes from the new policy on blah-blah-blah.  You will find a copy in your packet.”

Within the first five minutes, one of the attendees asked “is this stuff some new policy or something?”  Within the next five someone else asked if she could have a copy of the policy.

Have you noticed how many commercial breaks on TV are no longer the standard two minute breaks?

Now they stretch over as much as six minutes and even in the shorter ones, there will always be at least one commercial repeated within that break.

What has happened that all of a sudden people aren’t paying attention anymore?

We’ve come to the conclusion that they are still paying attention.  But only to the first 140 characters.

Somewhere we’ve also created a new vocabulary for old symbols.

Years ago (like maybe two), when calling a phone with an auto-attendant, prompts would include things like, “Please enter your account number followed by the pound sign.”

Today, Mr. Attendant invites you to press the “Hash Key” when finished with your entry.

We’re fine with micro-blogging.  It’s entertaining, brings people together who wouldn’t otherwise, and fills up lots of time that would otherwise be used doing work.

We just don’t want people to stop at 140 characters if the information runs to a few hundred words.

So that’s our thoughts for today.  Some of the paragraphs are more than 140 characters.  Feel free to split them if you think you might be mi

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?