I read a book way, way back in the 60s or 70s maybe. It was so far back that a million dollars was actually a lot of money. That’s actually germane to this post. I know, I know, I rarely have anything of substance to a post in the first sentence or two. You’re lucky if I ever get to around to anything of substance by the last sentence or two. It’s all part of my charm.

This particular book was written by a bona fide millionaire and I should have stopped reading it as soon as I got to that point. It was the basic “get rich without using your own money” scheme which roughly translates into “fall into or inherit money then write a book on how to make more money than you can count and pull it off as semi-legitimate even though your scheme is semi-criminal but you are after all a bona fide millionaire so who’s going to argue with you especially after they bought your book” scheme.

The only thing I got out of the book is that every January 1, the schmuck in question, aka the author, spent his day counting up his assets. Since reading that, I do the same. My worldly possessions take about 25 minutes to itemize. That leaves enough time to watch the big parade, the one with all the flowers, and the afternoon bowl games on TV. So how did that make me a millionaire?

Image by Dreamtime

Unfortunately it didn’t. Oh, if I add up everything that I’ve ever made, salaries, investments, bonuses, sale of plasma in college, I’ve made more than that million. If you put it all together I’ve probably made close to 5 million dollars. If you add up all that I’ve put out I’ve probably spent a little over 5 million dollars. But every January 1 I diligently sit down with my checkbook, then ledger, then spreadsheet, then all those little receipts from the stores and ATM machines, and figure out how much I have.

While after those first 15 minutes when I really needed to concentrate I (mostly because I was getting into the part of the arithmetic that included “carrying”), something would distract me. A girl friend then a wife then a pet then a baby then the sounds of kids playing in the snow then a midwinter graduation party, then new friends and new relatives then new the new sounds of new places then the quiet the comes after everyone leaves.

Counting up the assets never took very long. Counting up the treasures … I’m still working on them.

Happy New Year