Tag Youth

There Is No Crying

Michael 1 Comment

“There’s no crying in baseball,” was Jimmy Dugan’s guidance in A league of Their Own.  Advice that Both of We have given to many in many fields.  There’s no crying in yardwork.  There’s no crying in meatloaf.  There’s no crying in plumbing.  There’s no crying in college acceptance celebrations.  Hold on!  That last one isn’t one of ours.  Oh but it is one of the New York City school district.

Yes, in the highly competitive world of college admissions, New Yorkers (New Yorkers!?!) want to be certain that the egos of students not accepted into their first choice institutions are not unduly bruised.   Teachers are told not to congratulate students in public and if they should see someone crying to “be sensitive” and to refer them to the college advisory office (guidance counselor?) immediately.  Perhaps it’s the school advisors who should be considering select institutions.

But how could you blame the city schools for prohibiting public displays of best wishes?  They are just following the lead of several famous (or so we’re told) prep schools that have banned wearing college sweatshirts bearing the crests of the universities that have accepted their students or posting their good news on Facebook.

In January we asked in a post “How long has it been since we started instilling in our young people that there are no losers?” (Your Turn to Keep Score from Life, Jan 16, 2012).  We proposed then that it has been long enough that someday those young people will be running for “Congress, President, and your local school board.”  Seems like they might have already made it to the school boards.

We can poke fun at the bizarrely ridiculous notion that some adult somewhere really thinks that not going “Woohoo!” when a kid opens that long awaited letter from school will make life better for some other student who had a hard time spelling woohoo in Social Media 101.  The truth is that we have already seen how “everyone’s a winner” is destroying American life.  For example:   there’s no crying in bank failures; there’s no crying in corporate bankruptcies; there’s no crying in union negotiations; there’s no crying in lying in political ads; there’s no crying in government bail outs; there’s no crying in $5.00/gallon gasoline.

There used to be a lot of losing in life.  And those losses led to some of the biggest successes the world has seen.  Today we can say that life isn’t all winning and be absolutely accurate.  It isn’t.  There just isn’t any losing either.

Hey, there’s no crying in responsible adulthood.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

That Play’s The Thing, That Thing They Do

Michael Leave a comment

Have you ever been to a local community theater production of … anything? 

Those of you who answered yes are excused from the remainder of this missive.  You’re welcome to stay but you probably won’t read anything you don’t already know.  Then again, maybe you better stick around.  You never know what’s going to march across this screen.

Those of you who answered no are hereby put on double secret probation and you can’t get off of it until you go.  For Heaven’s sake, go!

Really, we are that taken by the power of the local community theater, from the over-acting to the kitschy program books, to the recorded music, to the cramped theaters.  This is entertainment.

Ok, this is also a little weird.  Grown people reliving their high school spring musical days?  Actually, it’s not so weird.  Grown people honing the talents they discovered in one of the “youth is wasted on the young” activities we’ve all been a part of but few keep alive.

Think of the other activities that made up your younger days and how you felt about them then.  Swimming every weekend at the local pool, knowing for sure that Greg Louganis was no match for your diving skills.  Confidently matching across the football field stepping two, turning left, stepping eight, twice in place, turn right, all while playing the flight song on your clarinet.  Even Benny Goodman couldn’t match your style.  Speeding along on the Schwinn, Day 4 of the Tour de France and your fourth day in the yellow shirt.  Taking the layup to the hoop, your hands above the rim, your signature shoes shimmering in the light of the studio lamps filming the commercial that used to feature that has been, Michael Somebodyorother.  Healthy activities every one.  Healthy imaginations to go with them.  Imagination.  A commodity many fear will never again reach the peak when we were young now that computer games have overtaken recreation as the child’s national pastime.

Now wait a minute, who is to say it has.  Don’t kids still ride bikes, and swim on weekends, and play high school sports, and march in bands?  Maybe we’re being a bit unfair.  Their imagination is still working.  It’s just taking a different turn.  And there are still high school musicals every spring.  (You knew eventually we’d get back to that, didn’t you?)

Those high school musicals.  Who didn’t walk out on to the stage knowing his or her next entrance would be at the Tony Awards?  But while the swimmer and the musician and the sports figure in us have stepped aside so we can fit into our adult life, the actor has found the community theater.  The actor, the director, the stage hand, the producer, the set decorator, the wardrobe and make-up artists all still have a home, a legitimate home where imagination still features raising the silver medallion of the masks comedy and tragedy.  So we applaud the actor, the director, the stage hand, and the others for sharing their imagination and presenting some of the most energetic live theater you’ll ever experience.

Paul Newman said, “To be an actor you have to be a child.”  We agree.  You have to have the wonder that children know and adults crave.  While the professional gets the great opportunity to live that wonder throughout a lifetime most of us only get fleeting moments of it as adults.  Throughout those little theaters tucked away in every neighborhood where lines are tortuously rehearsed, directions are painstakingly prepared, and stages are carefully dressed, the wonder of youth bathes everyone who enters.  Even the audience.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Your Turn to Keep Score

Michael 3 Comments

This morning there was a story on the morning TV news about a shooting that killed a teenager, put his aunt in the hospital, and superficially wounded his grandmother.  Truly tragic and something that happens far too frequently.   Later in the afternoon She of We called to He of We and asked if he heard the story about the shooting last night.  Who got shot?  In the morning paper the teen had still been killed but now the grandmother was in the hospital and the aunt was treated and released.

One of the first printed reports of Friday’s cruise ship accident off the Italian coast said the ship was “three quarters underwater and sinking fast.”  Four sentences later a statement attributed to Coast Guard officials said “the liner was listing at 20 degrees but was not in danger of sinking.”

Death always surpasses imprecisions on the accuracy meter, and our sympathies to those who lost loved ones in urban violence and vacations gone very badly.  This is not a rant about who spelled what wrong or which homonym was misused today.

But we have to admit our first question to ourselves was, what is more important, getting it right, or getting a headline?  While we were batting that one about we think we may have come across the bigger problem.  It’s not an issue with incorrect reporting.  It’s not an issue with inaccurate editing.  It’s much more pervasive.  It goes back to “everyone’s a hero.”

Let us explain.  How long has it been since the fashion became that little leagues no longer keep score?  That everybody bats every inning?  That every youth gymnastic tournament participant goes home with a trophy? How long has it been since we started instilling in our young people that there are no losers?  Long enough that those children are now young adults writing for our newspapers and web-sites and anchor people.  Long enough that they are also our young firemen, and nurses, and building inspectors.  Long enough that they will soon be our doctors and lawyers.  Long enough that someday they will be running for Congress, President, and your local school board.

Are you young enough, and were you naïve enough to allow your children to believe that there is no winning or losing?  If so, what did you tell your son at his first major league baseball game when the home team lost and the beer soaked fan in the row behind you expressed his displeasure?  What did you tell your daughter when she watched the Olympics for the first time and asked why the gymnasts were crying?  Petty issues?  Perhaps.  But life isn’t all winning.  Once a child is old enough to stand he’s old enough to fall down.  Doesn’t he deserve the courtesy of being told he might?

What do you tell yourself when a group of teens knocks on a door and shoots a child of 16 and a firefighter at the scene is quoted “There’s been a lot of stupid stuff going on?”  How do you reconcile the captain going down with the ship in the movie but going to safe harbor in a life boat in real life?  Once a child is old enough to stand he’s old enough to be pushed over.  Doesn’t he deserve the guidance of being told how to avoid it?

What do you tell the world when the world extrapolates one with no winners or losers to one with no right or wrong?  Have we created that world of harmony for our now young adults by taking the pressure of winning off them when they were our young children?  Or have we created a world of discord for our now young adults – a world where they are unprepared for conflict, discipline, and getting things right because they never had to as young children?  We can’t be outraged at a teen who takes losing so badly that he has to shoot others when we never taught him how to be a gracious winner.   

If you didn’t keep score then, you can’t be an umpire now.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?