Tag Writing

Lizing Leapards

Michael Leave a comment

It’s nice to know that there are some things you can absolutely count on. At least you can count on them once every 4 years or so.

Every 4 years we’ll show off a national spectacle, some would say a national embarrassment, and try to elect a President. We know that’s really not real. Whoever is to be the next President has already been decided. Eventually the marketing department will let us in on it too.

Every 4 years we show off a worldwide spectacle, some would say a spectacular spectacle. That would be the Olympics, or as those marketers would prefer, the Games of the XXXI Olympiad. (And you thought Roman numerals only use was in counting Super Bowls. Ha!) Of course that is presuming Brazil gets a handle on the Zika virus.

Every 4 years we also show off the Winter Olympics. But not this year. Used to be that we held summer and winter games in the same year but then somebody (probably one of those marketing groups) decided it would be better for the world to split them up. We still hold the Winter Olympics (officially the Olympic Winter Games) every four years but not for another two of them.

Every 4 years FIFA holds the World Cup Finals round. This isn’t that year. There are preliminary games scheduled last year, this year, and next year. The next finals round will be in 2018.

Every 4 years I start a new blog. Actually I started this blog 4 years and 4 months ago. So if I was to start a new blog it would be a quadrennial-triannual event. That’s too confusing. And even though there have been drastic changes in my life over the last 4 years and 4 months I think this blog still serves its purpose. (If you, like me, are unsure of that purpose check out Blog Post #1 Really? Real Reality? November 7, 2011.)

You might say that it suits me. I’ll keep this one.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Voice Activated

Michael Leave a comment

Do you have voice recognition software? I don’t. Oh, I have the thingy on my cell phone that lets me search, dial, or text verbally. But not on the computer. I’m ok with that. Living alone I almost always have something going for background noise – TV, music, even a radio now and then. I know from using the phone thingy that voice recognition is pretty good at that. It recognizes voices. But not only yours.

I can just imagine if I was drafting one of these posts and the TV was on. The final product might look like this.

—–

Do you have…the name your price tool? …Oh, I have… no cost maintenance on all remaining 2015s… that lets me… Come On Down! …But not on the computer. I’m… finger licking good. …Living alone I almost always have… erectile dysfunction. …TV, music, even a… model year end close-out. …I know from using the… attorney with the experience to win the big ones …that …The People’s Court… is pretty good at that. It recognizes… breakfast all day. …But …this is Jeopardy.

—–

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout …zero percent financing?

Let Me Sleep on That

Michael Leave a comment

I had a great idea for a blog post. Unfortunately, I had it while I was asleep. Maybe “great idea” isn’t quite the right way to put that. Everything I post is real, hence the title “The Real Reality Show Blog.” This is really real. But not everything is blogworthy. (By the way, did you know that “blogworthy” passes the spell-check test? That could be blogworthy in itself.) And not everything that is blogworthy lends itself to a blog. But enough times, something happens that makes a great post. And then something happens to actually make me able to write about it.

Sometimes that something is a bit of work. I mull it over, run it through my brain, try out a phrase or two, and somehow remember it when I sit down in front of the computer where it can fall out of my head through my fingers onto the screen. One of those times was sometime last week. It was a great idea and it just about wrote itself completely in my head. Had I had a computer in front of me I could have walked away with a completed post in just a few minutes. But what I had in front of me was a pair of closed eyelids. And behind them was what turned out to be a faulty memory.

I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking or dreaming or meditating or whatever it is one does on the edge of sleep. All I remember is that I woke up thinking “that would be a great blog!” I just had no idea what “that” was.

Some people can remember every little thing they dream. They’re probably the same persons who know everything that is in their refrigerators. They can relate them at lunch to everybody at the office in excruciating detail.  (That would be their dreams, not their refrigerator contents but probably those, too.) On particularly good days they even come with critiques of the main characters in their mental movies. I can do that only if I have a particularly spicy enchilada with multiple beers after 9pm. Then I either wake up remembering my dreams or remembering an actual altercation in the parking lot between my untied shoe and a telephone pole. Neither makes for a great idea for a blog post although the shoe lace bear some promise.

So whatever it was it isn’t going to be. And instead of a great blog post, you get this. Sorry.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?