Tag Words

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Michael Leave a comment

We were driving down a country-ish road when jogging on the shoulder toward us was this woman, her legs striding, arms pumping, head bobbing, and face frowning.  It was not a look of determination, nor was it one of concentration.  It was one of displeasure.  It was one that said “I am two miles from home in any direction and I want to be there, not here.”  What we knew, from knowing others who jog along the shoulder of country-ish roads, is that when she gets home there will be a husband, a parent, a partner, a child, or maybe a cat or dog who will very innocently ask , “How as your run?”  And then the lies will begin!

It was fine. I had a great run.  It was the perfect morning to get an extra mile in.  And the check’s in the mail, too.  Truth be told, there are some instances that we know have never had the truth be told of them.   Early morning joggers are amateurs when it comes to the really smooth lies.

Whether it’s taking a little blood out for a blood test, a lot of it out at a blood drive, or getting an annual flu shot, “You’ll just feel a little pinch,” is not exactly truthful for any of them.  We are both blood donors.  We’ve both had flu shots.  And we’re ready to tell anybody who comes that close to us with those sharp objects that we know we’re going to feel more than a little pinch.  Save the lies, tell it like it is.  This is going to hurt but just for a little while and once that goes away you’ll feel much better for it.

Every day millions of people ask another millions of people how they are.   We’re not sure why because we know that an answer is neither required nor expected.  If so, no one would ask “Hey, how are you?” of someone who is getting on the elevator one just got off.  Yet it happens.  The appropriate answer to that question at that time should be “buy high, sell low” just to see if anyone is actually listening.  Quite often, then and at the millions of other times when the inquirer can actually hear the answer, the answer is “Oh just fine, thank you.”  You know you aren’t.  No one is ever just fine.  Ever. 

Whether we’re asking or are being ask, almost always “Do you want help with that?” is followed by “Whew!” when the answer comes back or goes out as no thanks.  Nobody ever really wants to help, at least not with physical assistance.   Maybe if the help needed is of the mental type we’d all be helpers and then when someone asks why we’re just sitting there we can answer with another collective lie, “Yes so, I am working.” 

Just a little bit longer.  No, that’s not a commentary on this post, although here it is truthful.  Most other times that one hears those words it is going to be longer but not by a little bit.  We hear this when waiting for a table at a restaurant, for a meeting with the boss, for a refund check coming in the mail, for the doctor to take his or her turn with us, or for an opponent to finish a Scrabble move.  The funny thing is that everybody on the delivery end of “a little bit longer” knows exactly how much longer it will be.  Why not tell us.  We suppose either they aren’t confident that we find their services worth waiting for or that their services aren’t worth waiting for.

It used to be a little more sensible when business was conducted by letters, phones, and secretaries.  Now to tell someone you never got the message, meeting reminder, or new project deadline in the time of email and shared electronic calendars is a bit far-fetched.  Yet not so far-fetched that by personal experience we can say that just about every time a meeting is missed, a deadline goes by, or a message is ignored, the guilty party still tries to claim ignorance.  “Must be something wrong with the server,” is the new “the check is in the mail”

Can you think of any others?  We’d love to hear them!  Ummm, errrr, let’s do lunch.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Wordsmithing

Michael Leave a comment

On the eve of the Presidential election, as Americans ponder the future of the country, while candidates’ supporters prepare to campaign right at the voting places, and as poll workers prepare voting machines, we were wondering, can people be victimized by a hurricane?

It started during a television news program that detailed the current conditions of the victims of Hurricane Sandy.  Isn’t a victim more one who is the receiver of a planned, illicit or improper action?  People are victims of crime.  People are victims of corrupt investment schemes.  Natural disasters might grow from specific conditions but they aren’t planned.  They may be dangerous but they aren’t corrupt.  They are inopportune but aren’t improper.  We got to thinking that the “victims” of Hurricane Sandy aren’t victims but are casualties.  The media may want to use victim to personify the physical, mental, emotional, and financial injuries of those whose paths were crossed by the storm.  The injuries are personal.  Making the cause of them so doesn’t make them more or less severe.  Calling those whose lives have been disrupted by Sandy victims minimizes what they truly are, casualties. 

On the eve of the Presidential election, She of We starts a new job.  She had been at her old one for over a decade and was a key player for her now former employer.  She often received offers from others and one finally came that was harder to refuse than not.  The stages of employee loss are not unlike the stages of grief.  You disbelieve, you question, you bargain, you express anger, you accept.  Her boss went straight to angry and hung out there, giving up anger only when he exhibited selfishness.  “You’re disrupting my life,” he told her upon hearing the news.  Having your house underwater, on fire, in small pieces after an explosion, or just not there is a disruption of life.

On the eve of the Presidential election, instead of sportscasters pondering whether the ultimate winner of the New York City Marathon could have been caught in the last quarter mile they are instead reduced to discussing football games that were and hockey games that weren’t.  That’s because after days of interminable announcements about how good it would be for the city to hold the marathon as scheduled, somebody spoke sense to the mayor to give up the selfish view that nothing is going to stop the famed run and declare it inappropriate to hold while others in New York City have no home to go to after running their own personal marathons.

On the eve of the Presidential election, people are still calling into talk shows and posting comments on line in response to Conan O’Brien’s remarks that “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” is too mean for today’s children.  Today’s children can’t handle the cruel reality of life that while some children will grow up to be famous television personalities, some will get rocks in their treat bags of life.  It’s inappropriate that Lucy is allowed to say the things she says to Charlie Brown but it’s not too mean for television news to show over a hundred houses burn to the ground where children once lived.  The cruel reality is that television networks see the potential for huge ratings and awards of excellence for their stark presentation of a natural disaster.

On the eve of the Presidential election, millions of dollars are still being spent on television, radio, electronic, print, and direct mail advertising.  Candidates selfishly tell us lies about their opponents and themselves while being inappropriately excluded from the prohibition against automated phone sales.  It’s mean that they would rather continue to spend the money on telling us how much we will be victimized by their opponents instead of spending it on reducing the real suffering from the cruelty of life that Sandy wrought.  Just think each time you see or hear a political ad today about how much good could have been done had that money been donated to the millions whose lives have been disrupted. 

We don’t want to be mean about it.  We’re just saying is that what you really meant to say?

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

 

Dirty Words

Michael Leave a comment

A while ago former First Lady Barbara Bush said at a conference, “I hate that people think compromise is a dirty word.”  And as we looked at recent politics and campaigns, she is on to something.  Nobody compromises anything.  There are times when you really don’t want to compromise, perhaps with your virtue, but most of what this country has and has become, has been through compromise.  Even the Declaration of Independence had words added, removed, and changed as a result of compromise.    

It got us to thinking, what are the other new dirty words out there?

Speed limit:  Everywhere we go people are speeding.  You can piggy back onto this word “conservation.”  It wasn’t long ago we talked about gas going to $4 a gallon but nobody really doing anything about it. (Paper or Plastic, Feb. 23, 2012, from Life’s Questions)  No need to.  We aren’t spending real money and our cars are very efficient.  Um, no, they aren’t.  Not at 70 miles per hour.  When we talked about how people were outraged about gas prices thirty years ago we didn’t mention that one of the strategies to conserve gas was the national 55mph speed limit.  It probably wouldn’t go over very big today.

Thank you:  We’ve posted quite a few times about how nobody says thank you.  (Most recently, Terms of Appreciation, Jan. 23, 2012 from Etiquette) They say just about everything else – there you go, have a good one, ya’ll come back now (we just made that one up).  Probably nobody says “thank you” because it’s a dirty word and they don’t want to get fired for swearing at the customers.

Conservative:  We were at an event recently and one of the local papers had a booth erected.  It was the more conservative of the two major papers.  While we, and others were there, a man walked by with his wife and child (probably his child but we didn’t confirm that with the wife; probably his wife but we didn’t confirm that either) and shouted “Too F——- Conservative” and kept on going.  But as we think of this, maybe “conservative” isn’t the bad word.  Perhaps it’s “liberal.” We’re pretty sure if something like that happened at the other major paper’s booth (had there been one), there would have been shouting and punching with those defending the honor of the paper like one would if a young lady were the object of obscenities. 

Parenting:  Go through your local paper’s archives for the past six months.  How many stories can you find about children still being left in cars while parents shop, eat, drink, or gamble?  How many stories can you find about a child hurt or killed when left alone with a fireplace, matches, large dog, big television perched precariously on small stand, or drug crazed boyfriend?  Read the story carefully.  Somebody will speculate that the time alone was brief, that the child was secure in a seat, or that the dog was trained or the boyfriend contrite.  Nobody will say the parents were selfish, clueless, reckless, bad decision makers, or all of the above.

Gluten:  We don’t know how many people even know what gluten is but we know everybody says it’s bad for you.  Gluten is the irritant in one of the most painful medical conditions people suffering from autoimmune diseases can face.  There are very few treatment options and less successful ones.  For a whole generation to decide they have a predisposition to this mocks the poor true victims and makes it even harder for them to be accepted with such a debilitating disease.  So if you think you have some horrible disease magically treated by not eating bread, don’t eat the bread.  And then keep your suffering to yourself.  That way we can hear and help those who truly suffer from Celiac Disease.

Date:  Sometimes it seems the only people we know who are dating are us.  Nobody goes on dates any more.  As the parents of 20-somethings we get to hear of going out but in packs.  Packs of young adults are going to bars and coffee shops, to bowling alleys and amusement parks.  Never a couple.  Always a group.  Safety in numbers?  Maybe.  Comfort in groups?  Perhaps.  Scared of dating?  Might be.

So those are our seven words you can’t say on TV.  Hmm, that makes us wonder.  What about those other more famous seven words?  They’re probably ok now.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?