Tag Wardrobe

Shopped Till I Dropped

Michael Leave a comment

I did something different last week. I went shopping. Not the shopping you do at a supermarket regardless of how super your market is. Real shopping that involved considering style and fashion, color and fabric, and trying stuff on. Oh that might not be very different for you but I assure you, it is indeed different, almost exciting, for me. Over the last 3 years I’ve managed to lose 110 pounds. I may have mentioned that about 20 of them were desired and even intentional. The other 90 or so came off as pieces of me came out during and after various hospital stays and recovery periods.

During that time I made due with piecemeal attire supplementation and the occasional reintroduction of an item that was spared a trip to the donation bin during the years when I was busy gaining some 110 pounds. But I finally had to recognize that I could no longer go out in public – even a public as limited as companion patients in doctors’ waiting rooms, dialysis clinic nursing staff, once a week grocery co-shoppers, and fellow churchgoers – with the ragtag rags that my togs were quickly becoming. Thus, a shopping spree.

And let me tell you something that probably every mother of a teenage boy already knows. If you are male and are not an adolescent male whose fashion sense is dictated primarily by the local college or professional football teams’ uniforms (regardless of the chronologic age of said adolescent male), there’s not much one can call smart for men out there. Oh I found plenty of shirts, slacks, and jackets in formal, informal, and in between styles but those styles were quite the same as the styles of those few previously mentioned articles that had stayed with me since the last time I weighed this little. And that was around 30 years ago.

Not to be deterred I soldiered on and did grave damage to my credit limit, restructuring my wardrobe to one that does not elicit questions like “have you been sick?” by any passerby who subscribes to the Hi Guy Principle. To be honest, when I started the day I thought I’d be exhausted and want to quit before it got on to time for a mid-morning snack. And to continue to be honest, I was getting tired. But tired and somewhat exhilarated at the same time. It had been so long since I had been shopping, even though most of what I was buying was basically the same stuff I had bought so long since, that I was actually enjoying myself.

There’s nothing like spending a day, and lots of money, shopping in a store where your selections aren’t plopped into a plastic cart with wheels you push to the check-out line at the front of the building.

I’ll have to try to do it again sometime in the next 30 years.

 

Visions of Fall

Michael 1 Comment

Each season has its own personality, its own identity, its own character. Fall is inexorably marked by the colors of the leaves, the aroma of burning logs in backyards and fireplaces, the promise of family gatherings, and the growing piles of laundry that threaten to lay ruin to your detergent budget.

It’s almost cruel that a single autumnal wash load comes close to equally all of summer’s dirty clothes. Think about it. Summer’s wardrobe is all the same fabric, all the same color, and in smaller pieces. Whites, pastels, t-shirts, shorts. If it wasn’t for sheets and towels I could probably go through an entire summer month on a single large load.

But fall, fall starts out ok. You trade in the shorts for khaki slacks, t-shirts for golf shirts, and you add socks to the mix. But in a couple of weeks you’re in to long sleeve shirts, polos, and jeans. Another week goes by and now you start layering. In one day between undershirt, shirt, sweatshirt, and hoodie you’ve worn – and dirtied – what would take almost a full week just 3 months ago. And all the different fabrics and colors. Everyone has to be checked for what can be washed with what at what temperatures in which cycles. It’s enough to make you breathe a sigh of relief when you find a care tag suggesting not to be machine washed.

And it’s not just the volume of laundry that torments your sanity. It’s the additional danger the fall wardrobe poses to your health and safety. Long sleeves and trouser legs get wrapped around the agitator causing you to wrench your back or possibly dislocate your shoulder trying to extract them from the machine. (And you wonder why they named that part an agitator!) Socks that are optional equipment in the summertime become entangled in other laundry pieces from the time you toss them into the hamper until you’re returning to the dresser. The only thing lost more regularly in laundry rooms is your temper when you realize you missed the beginning of the rinse cycle and your last opportunity to add fabric softener to the mix (an essential component to minimizing the chafing you’ll certainly encounter when untreated broadcloth rubs across the back of your neck).

But I digress. I was talking about the visions of fall and breathing in the sweet smell of burning logs while walking along the lane wrapped up in a warm, snuggly sweater. I hope it’s Dry Clean Only.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

 

Dressed for Success

Michael 1 Comment

Tomorrow there will be new meaning to Casual Friday in at least 30 U. S. cities.  Pittsburgh and Nashville get their turn today.  That would be Football Gear Friday in the 32 NFL home cities plus wherever rabid fans live.

The whole Casual Friday phenomenon which began in earnest at the tail end of the twentieth century was to embrace the beginning of the weekend with a more relaxed approach to office dress.  True casual dress such as shorts and t-shirts never made the grade beyond some uber-casual businesses mostly ending in dot-com.  But a more relaxed look took hold and spawned the whole concept of business casual.  Something you wouldn’t mind meeting clients in during the week day and then heading out for a couple after work without stopping at home for a wardrobe adjustment.  And life went on.  Until…

Until the football fanatics took over.  And football is the perfect sport to stretch the rules with.  Baseball plays every day of the week.  Hockey plays every day of the week.  NASCAR is already as casual as you can get.  But football is ideal.  What a better event to look forward to on a Friday afternoon than the culminating event of Sunday afternoon.  It is the weekend. 

It probably started innocently enough.  A lapel pin in the sport coat, a bracelet festooned with the local team logo, an earring here, a pendant there.  Rivals within the same building would look for the bigger cheering device.  Coffee cups, lunch bags, even briefcases.  Flags were hung outside office windows and banners were draped across reception desks.  The momentum was on and there was no going back!

Accessories soon gave way to golf shirts with team logos replacing the breast pocket.  Team hats would be seen topping tall heads in the elevators.  Scarves and sweaters with patterns embracing the home team came next.   Then it went where Casual Friday had resisted all those years.  T-shirts and sweatshirts with logos, inspirational team sayings, and pictures of favorite players cracked the casual barrier.  Then it was only a matter of the playoffs coming to town that brought replica jerseys into boardrooms where the morning meetings were led by replica mascots.

And so, every Friday in 32 cities plus the outlier cities with the out-placed rabid fans the commuter trains and busses, the freeways and parkways, the offices and factories, the coffee shops and emergency rooms turn into seas of Black and Gold, of flocks of angry birds, of packs of Lions and Panthers and Bears (oh my).  And the day marches by and it might seem a little odd, responsible adults dressing like high schoolers at a pep rally.  But the morning chats are lighter, the desks clear of clutter a little faster, and the trip for a couple after work a little shorter.

Monday will come soon enough.  Have a little fun before the weekend.  Go ahead and take the casual way to work tomorrow.  Or today if you’re in Pittsburgh or Nashville.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

 

The Real Reality Summer Wardrobe Rules for Real People

Michael 1 Comment

Summer is in full swing.  Hot, humid, sunny, temperatures in the mid 80’s to mid 90’s.  And people are taking full advantage of those summer rules – or disadvantage. 

We had the opportunity not long ago to attend an all day, outdoor music festival.  We were graced with a rather comfortable day.  In between days reaching into the upper 90’s and days of ponderous rains leading to flash floods, we managed to pick the one day of the three day festival to attend that had temperatures staying in the 70’s, no rain, dappled sunshine through broken clouds, and a very slight breeze.  The perfect day for outdoor festing.  Except for the other people there.

To be fair, not all of them detracted from an otherwise enjoyable afternoon and evening.  Just the ones who left their fashion sense at home.  After a day of watching what people consider appropriate public attire we are forced to invoke the Real Reality Wardrobe Rules.

 

For Men:

Sleeves are mandatory.  Not areas formerly occupied by sleeves, the entire sleeve.  They are the cross pieces that put the T in T-Shirt.  They are needed.  They are required. 

In that sleeves are mandatory, so are the shirts that they come on.  Nobody wants to see anybody other than a cute infant half naked in public.  Even in guys that haven’t traded in their six-pack for a quarter keg, the shirtless look just isn’t a good one other than at poolside or if necessary, in your own man cave.  We don’t expect women to wander about with their nipples exposed, men shouldn’t either.

Hair long enough to be in a ponytail on a male only looks good on a male pony.  And only at the tail.  You’re old.  You’re gray.  You’re bald.  Don’t add to the insanity by having hair halfway down your back and certainly not in braids!  Shave it off, put your shirt on, and move along. 

Flip flops are not shoes.  Leave them at the pool, with your shirt.  Mandals are fine, but like the rest of you, grooming is essential.  Just because your feet are the farthest away from your brain, don’t be brainless about your feet.  Well groomed, trimmed, washed, and buffed feet are also healthy feet.

 

For Women:

For different reasons, but the just as above, nobody wants to see you half naked in public.  Check your hems, watch your buttons.  Unintentional flashes of skin is sexy.   Intentional undressing is slutty.

Have someone check your behind from behind when you’re sitting down on the grass.  Just say no to crack. 

Swimsuits are for swimming, or for backyard tanning.  Would you go to a production of the local symphony wearing a tankini?  You’re outside, in public, whether at a concert or at the grocery store.  Grow up, wear clothes.  (If you’re having difficulty with that, see For Women, Rule #1.)

High Heels and soft grass do not mix. If you are at an outside wedding and you are dressed to the nines, you’ll have to move slowly and carefully.  Accidents can happen but they don’t have to.  If you are at an outdoor concert with 10,000 people in shorts and t-shirts, wear something lawn-appropriate.  Aerating the amphitheater grounds with your stilettos will not get you a discount to the next show.

Tattoos can be art.  If you have a back full of body art, ask somebody besides one of your friends to give you’re an opinion of the quality of the work.  If it’s art, flaunt it.  Go ahead and wear that backless sun dress.  If it’s of poor quality, badly composed and inexpertly executed, cover it up until you find a good artist to fix it.    

 

It’s hot out there.  You can be too.  Pay a little attention to the person in the mirror and watch how many pay attention to you on the outside.       

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?