Tag Unsolicited Advice

You’re Doing It Wrong

Michael 2 Comments
“You’re doing it wrong” is no longer a just a great line from the underrated 1983 John Hughes scripted film Mr. Mom. It has become the tagline of some 5 bazillion e-zine “articles” and YouTube videos. You know the ones: You’re using your oven drawer wrong. You’re storing you’re spices wrong. You’re cooking your eggs wrong. These “experts” have zeroed in on kitchen activities but then food is a fairly universal topic. And to be fair, I have seen s handful of articles telling me about what other things that I am screwing up in my life. You’re washing your car wrong. You’re wearing your seatbelts wrong. You’re cutting your grass wrong. You can find contradictory “expert” opinion on how to best accomplish just about anything. But that I add milk to my eggs before dumping them into a pan because I like my scrambled eggs creamy instead of fluffy is not wrong, just different. Nor is it wrong that someone else prefers water over cream although they are more likely pandering to the YouTube crowd rather than the “that’s a darn good tasting breakfast” crowd. (Please no nasty comments. The world is divided enough.)
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Most activities have multiple means to reach their ends and how you get there is your choice depending on how you prefer to make the trip. None of these articles is wrong on how they present a way to do something. If that were so I’d have titled this “You’re Writing Those ‘You’re Doing It Wrong’ Articles Wrong.” If you are of a like mind with the person who wants to use water in scrambled eggs go right ahead. I’ll still splash some cow juice in mine and not feel at all slighted. But there is one expert process I can’t say presents a viable alternative to how I’ve been doing it for years. That is washing dishes. 
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If you are of an a certain age, one that I passed an age ago, you’ll recall the days when there was but one way to wash dishes. Fill a basin with soap and water, grab a dish cloth, and commence wiping. There might once have been an alternate method but mothers put their collective feet down when they noticed the young’uns headed for the stream to pound the dishes against the rocks while doing the table linens in an early effort to multitask. Otherwise it was soap, water, and elbow grease and not terribly much of the third until you got to the pots and pans.
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I saw the headline, “You’ve been washing your dishes wrong,” and the teaser, “Read this before you wash another dish by hand.” Being the well trained lackey who still routinely washes dishes by hand of course I did just that and read this (er, that) before I did another. What I read changed the way I think about hand washing forever. It won’t change how I do it but I’ll think about it now each time I plunge a scrunge into soapy water.
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Apparently the faux pas is not of the order. It’s still glassware, table ware, serving utensils, eating vessels (plates etc.), cooking utensils, cooking vessels. (Whew!) Nor was it a definitive decision regarding the always controversial “bath v shower” methods of water used. (Double whew!) It was not even if you are better served with grease fighting detergents or scouring pads. No, the way those of us who are still washing our dishes by hand are washing our dishes wrong is that we are still washing our dishes by hand. (Read it a couple of times. It’s a legitimate sentence, really.) (I think.)
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WaterHeaterThe “experts” claim to properly sanitize dishware the wash temperature must be a minimum of 140°F (60°C). Actually that’s not right. “Sanitizing” or the eradication of common kitchen pathogens doesn’t happen until 175°. That’s why modern dishwasher rinse cycles are set to heat the water internally to 180°. Anything less is just “cleaning.” However there are some pathogens killed at 140° so that temperature could be partial sterilization. Most domestic water heaters are capable of heating water to 140°. Why isn’t this good enough for hand washing and get at least part off them sanitized?
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Just how hot is 140° anyway? If you’ve even been in a hot tub or sauna you’ve been in 100° water. (I used to keep mine set to 101° but that was because I liked the way the digital readout looked.) That morning hot shower is around 105°F. An electric blanket maxes out at 115° and a heating pad typically eases your sore muscles with 130-135° heat. Temperatures higher than that aren’t so well tolerated. That 140° we want to wash out dishes in will burn your skin in seconds. Third degree burn. In single digit seconds. Six seconds to be accurate. That is why even though water heaters can heat water to 140° they shouldn’t. The recommend maximum temperature for domestic hot water is 120°F (49°C). At 120° you would suffer those burns after exposing your skin for 5 minutes.  (Don’t think you can split the difference and set that heater for 130°. Third degree burns will happen at 30 seconds of continuous exposure to 130° water.
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That would seem to validate the claim that handwashing is a somewhat futile exercise. Or is it? If you’re goal is complete sanitizing before you set those plates back on the table at the next meal it is indeed futile although no more futile washing in 140° water. And is there really such a thing as more or less futile? Futile is futile, right.
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On the other hand, if you are happy with just for clean like we were so many ages ago, go ahead and use the sink. Trust me. You won’t be doing it wrong.
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Too Much Information

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“I just got those same plants at ‘Dirt Cheap Nursery’ and paid $30 less than you.”  That was the greeting She of We got as she rolled her cart into the checkout line with her bounty of spring flowers.

It wasn’t long ago that He of We was waiting patiently with a shopping cart of items soon to be paid for that someone passed by him and said, “I just got that [thing] at ‘Big Box Store’ cheaper.”

She of We is certain it’s some sort of affliction from which we suffer.  We seem to be the type of people that others just want to engage.  Everybody has at least one story that begins, “I was walking down the aisle and this lady came up to me, held up a sweater and asked if that color makes her look pale.”  We get that every time we’re in a store.  But it doesn’t stop there.  It continues on to why the lady is looking for a sweater, why that particular color called to her to begin with, how she had worn that color before and sometimes received compliments and other times disapproval, and had we ever used that mayonnaise made with olive oil.

People are now beginning to critique our price recognition skills.  They are most probably just trying to be helpful.  Unsolicited so but still helpful.  And that makes us wonder, what are we to do with all this information?  Do we bolt out of line and return the offending items to their former places on the store shelves?  Do we ask for proof in the form of an advertisement and/or receipt?  Do we challenge the price check person’s memory?  Do we smile politely and hope the line moves fast enough that we don’t hear from these people again?

We suppose we should be happy that we don’t project the impression that we’re not civil and will snap at anybody who violates our space – physical or economic.  It is better to be personable than to be disagreeable.  And someday, somebody might actually present worthwhile information.  (We question the $30 cheaper flowers when the total was only going to be about $70.)

Until then, we’ll continue to suffer our affliction.  If it makes others feel good, who are we to take that feeling away?  We’d like to mention though that we are getting tired of being part of the sweater shopping experience.  Jewelry.  Now that’s a different story.

And in case you’re wondering, the olive oil mayonnaise isn’t bad.  You should try it sometime.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?