Tag Trees

Worth The Squeeze?

Michael 4 Comments

Last week had me scratching my head a bit and not due to dandruff or tiny livestock. Maybe you can help explain this.

Full pulp, some pulp, no pulp. Typically I drink Florida orange juice, not from concentrate, because I like the taste. I really mean Florida orange juice or at least juices labeled as a product of the USA and hopefully that doesn’t include California. (But that’s a different post.)

Many orange juice products also include juice from Mexico and Argentina and although I like am not anti-immigrant, I prefer those immigrants not show up in my breakfast juice glass. Really, I can pick up a difference in taste. It might not be the juice. It could other things added to it because we all know that anything that says it’s 100% of something really means “all of it give or take a little.” Anyway, my go to OJ is with the Florida labeled variety with added calcium because I can use all the help I can get and no pulp because … why. Well, what I grabbed was a carton of juice with added calcium and some pulp. Oops!

OJ.pngWhat’s the deal with pulp? Is it to make you believe you are actually sitting on a patio in Florida under the orange trees with the juicer nearby on the table still wet from a fresh squeezing? And why the different levels of pulp in the juice. Full? Some? Extra? How much is some? How much more is full? Is extra more than full? What about just “with pulp” not further specified? Is full really full if it still pours? Can I get a carton of just pulp and eat my juice in the morning? Or would that involve a trip to the produce section? Help!!!

Only orange juice puts the consumer through this selection process. Apple juice is apple juice and there’s a lot more pulp involved with those little orbs. Cranberry juice bottlers don’t ask if you want it skin or skinless. Pineapple juicers don’t give you the option of with or without core. Grapefruits are pretty much like big, tart oranges and that juice is offered as just grapefruit juice options not available.

Maybe orange juice has something to hide behind those strands of what I guess are supposed to be the stuff left over from the pressing. I’d think if there is a ounce of pulp to every glass of juice then my glass just shrunk to 7 ounces. Not cool.  How about the bottlers of my favorite breakfast juice just stick to putting juice in those bottles before I start to question whether that juice is worth that squeeze.

Thank you reading. I needed to get that off my chest. And my back teeth, too. Yuck!

 

 

Prior Performance

Michael Leave a comment

Lately I’ve been sitting closer to the television so I’ve been reading the small print on television ads. Just another of the benefits of getting older.

Small print is hard enough to read. On television it’s monumentally hard to read. It’s usually in white and on a light or nearly white background, small enough to qualify as fine print in a print ad, and verbose enough to be a politician while remaining on the screen for a bit less than the heartbeat of an out of shape stair climber.

If your efforts with the on-line speed reading course were successful, you actually may get the opportunity to read televised fine print. And if you do, you will find it’s not at all very informative.

Extensive research (and not at all scientific let me tell you) says that the third most popular phrase in that fine print is “past performance does not guarantee future results” or similar. (The second most common phrase is “Limited time offer, expires [sometime 8 months from now].” The most common phrase is “dramatization” and/or “actor portrayal” so you can separate fact from fiction without straining your brain while separating them.)

Past performance does not guarantee future results? Excuse me, isn’t that what you are advertising, your past performance? This is especially popular among lawyers, bankers, stock brokers, trade school placement offices, and purveyors of commemorative plates. It’s the advertising fine print equivalent of saying “not responsible for lost or stolen luggage.” Feel free to substitute “your hard earned money” for “luggage.”

Imagine what those lawyers and bankers and others would say if other advertisers blithely asked for you to buy from them while at the same time reminding you that what they are selling may or may not actually do what you are buying. For examples:

….. Orange Juice: Translation = You know us as the brand that uses nothing but fresh oranges to make our juice but your next bottle might have some juiced brussel sprouts.

…..Tires: Translation = Our tires have long been known for their ability to grip the road, resist punctures, and last thousands and thousands of miles. Unfortunately the ones we just shipped to the stores are really old retreads and bald ones at that.

…..Dishwashing liquid: Translation = You may need to use most of the bottle if you expect clean dishes.

….. Luxury SUV: Translation = Can you say Family Truckster?

….. Toilet paper: Let’s not even go there.

Past performance does not guarantee future results. You never hear airlines say that when they are talking about on-time performance. Hmmm.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Life Needs a Soundtrack

Michael Leave a comment

Do you know a problem with real reality? There are no clues to what’s coming next. Life needs a soundtrack.

Watch any movie or television show, even the so-called “reality” shows, and you see that they all have musical accompaniment. It’s quite clear when someone or something is to be happy, sad, humorous, suspenseful, romantic, mysterious, thrilling, or chilling. Just about the only time the background is silent is when the director intends for extreme drama. Even commercials have background music. Everything from auto insurance to male erectile dysfunction therapy has an associated tune. Why can’t we.

It sounded like a good idea when it popped into my head. Heaven knows there’s enough music up there. I’m always mentally humming a tune, a jingle, a theme. How hard would it be for that to be amplified and spill out around me so I know for sure what mood I’m in – not to mention everyone else who might be in the area?

It’s hard enough to get through a day without being misunderstood. Think of all the relationships that could be saved if there was a full orchestra ready to turn despair to hope, hope to thought, and thought to action. Imagine the peace people could experience if daily routines were spiced up with a bluesy southern anthem or smoothed out by a soft jazz composition. Think of your daily commute to the tune of a driving chorus instead of the tune of blaring horns and mufflers in need of repair.

If you really want to explore this idea, can we consider making life a musical? On second thought, I don’t know if I can handle a sudden eruption of song and dance while standing in line at the deli counter. “You’re the ham that I want. Ooo, ooo, ooo honey,” doesn’t run trippingly off the tongue even if you are looking for that tasty lunchmeat. No, just a soft background perhaps of Dave Matthews Band’s Pig song.

Like I said, it sounded like a good idea when it popped into my head.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

How Live Is It?

Michael 1 Comment

Two years we began the debate between live and artificial trees.  We liked it so well we repeated it last year.  (See “Is It Live or…” Nov. 28, 2011 in Life.) Little did we know there was a third choice.

On last week’s television show “The Shark Tank” a budding entrepreneur presented a business opportunity of renting live, potted Christmas trees.  They are delivered to the tree-wanter a few weeks before Christmas and picked up shortly after the holiday.  It seemed like an interesting idea even if it was available only to California Christmas celebrators and deserved some investigation.  But first, let’s see what we’ve traditionally had available for our holiday arbor traditions … traditionally spoken.

He of We has a couple of artificial trees to spread about his house.  One very large tree runs to the top of the high vaulted ceiling of its chosen room, another shorter one does its thing in the low ceilinged part of the house.  Neither would be mistaken for a live tree, with or without a pot, but they do their thing with gusto and when painstakingly decorated provide the necessary merriment for the season.  The big one looks fairly realistic and for the $300 original price tag it should.  He being frugal bought it after Christmas many years ago and dropped quite a bit less than $100 on it.  His diluted annual investment distributed over 15 years is about five tree dollars per tree year.  She of We has an artificial tree that looks more live than pretend, fills her bay window from top to bottom and side to side, and when decorated with her all glass ornaments looks like a million bucks although her diluted annual tree cost is about the same.

Last week the “live” tree lots around here opened and fresh cut trees (fresh is their word) run from $29 to $59 depending on variety and size.  You could also opt for one sold by one of the local volunteer fire companies and with delivery sometimes included, sometimes extra, but almost always available.  If you think more is better there are even mail order tree farms that will ship you a fresh cut (fresh is their word) for about twice what you would pay if you went to a local lot and strapped your selection to your own car/van/SUV/crossover roof.  Stick with the locals and your annual tree cost after agreeing to a live wreath and some live garland gets to about 85 tree dollars.

There are clearly no shortages of trees for the holidays whether boxed and pre-lit or chopped from somewhere around our neck of the woods for our neck of the woods.  You can even do your own chopping if you like.  Chopping comes at a premium starting at about $50 and then priced extra per foot for trees over 5 feet.  We hear it’s good exercise.  Wreaths, garland, door swags, cider, eggnog, and bandages are extra.

Now let’s get back to these potted living trees that give new meaning to the word live when associated with Christmas trees and December.  He did a quick search on the Internet and found said entrepreneur who is festooning California with potted plants for the holidays.  He also found several others.  Of course since they rely on local delivery and pick up if you aren’t fortunate enough to live in California or Oregon where the tree potters thrive, you’ll miss out on trying to keep a live tree living throughout the season.  Checking out the prices of these living trees he found them somewhere between those on the local lots and the new in the box.  An average price for an average tree seemed to be about $100 with about another $50 to get it to and from.  That clearly is the most expensive yearly outlay for your tree dollars but it’s your holiday bonus and you can spend it however you like.

So the question is no longer “Is It Live,” but “How Live Is It.”  It’s not a bad idea and there are probably more places around the country than just the few that made Internet history.  Now with three choices our warnings from years past still go.  Don‘t be a newscast waiting to happen.  Decorate safely, don’t overload your circuits, and may the only smoke anyone should see on Christmas Eve is that from the stump of the pipe held in Santa’s teeth while encircling his head just like a wreath.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Get In Line

Michael Leave a comment

Regular readers know we aren’t good waiters. Lines do not thrill us. Some people find themselves very comfortable standing still behind tens of other people also standing still. We don’t. We especially don’t want to be behind many other people waiting to eat. Just a few days ago we got to combine our displeasure of waiting with our dislike for lines.

It was over the weekend that we were at one of our favorite things, a springtime maple festival. Being in the American north east we are surrounded by maples. Trees in general take up almost every square foot of land around that hasn’t already been turned into Class A office space or $300,000 McMansions. (Has anyone else noticed that nobody ever builds Class B office space? What if we don’t want private elevators, multi-zone climate control, and integrated security/entertainment software? But that’s a post for a different day.)

We were saying, trees in general are big here. And among them, oak and maple top the list. You can’t get anything out of an oak except some really cool shade in the summer and habitats for little woodland creatures all year long. And a lot of maples will never yield more than solid wood furniture. But the sugar maple has that special something running through its veins, if it had veins for anything to run through. And that something is sap and with enough sap you get syrup and with syrup you get the classic Maple Festival. If it’s indeed a classic, you have hot, homemade pancakes. With pancakes made out of freshly milled flour and fresh boiled syrup you get lines. Lines of well over a couple hundred people long waiting for hours to get to the pancakes to pour the syrup over. We don’t understand it.   We’ll buy the flour and the syrup and have our own. And while everyone else is standing in line, we’ll visit the hundred or so vendors that show up with the handmade crafts to sell while the festival folk sell their handmade syrup. We like it. We buy it. We just don’t want to stand in a line for it.

Yet many do. And as we were driving ourselves home that afternoon we started to wonder, just what would we be willing to stand in line for. We’ve never stood in line for tickets to concerts or theaters or sporting events. We’ve gone to many but we don’t pitch a tent the night before to get the best seat. With a few exceptions, the best seat is usually the one in front of the television anyway. We’ve never stood in line for a store to open on Black Friday. We would stand in line to go back to bed the day after Thanksgiving but not to buy one. We once stood in line to get three (yes, three) autographs of three (yes, three) hockey players. If we were so fond of baseball or opera or professional badminton we might have once stood in line for autographs of their great ones but we aren’t so we didn’t and even for hockey we might not again.

Some lines you have to stand in. You’ll never board a plane without first standing in line at the security checkpoint and then again at the gate boarding ramp. If you didn’t print your boarding pass at home the day before add the line at the ticket counter to get one of them before you hit the other two. And if you check baggage through there are lines to check it and then to wrestle it off the conveyor belt. With luck, you’ll never have to stand in the line to determine where they lost it. Airports are not happy places for people who don’t like lines.

And what about you? Line stander, line jumper? Line aficionado, or line abhorrer? Oh, did we mention that in order to get to that festival with the line of people waiting for their pancakes we had to wait in line for the shuttle to take us to the festival grounds? We had no choice; it was either that or walk 3 miles from the parking lot. We know where to draw the line.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Welcome to 2013. Now Go Away

Michael Leave a comment

Just because we don’t make resolutions until Spring is upon us (See Resolving to Keep it Real, Dec. 31, 2012) doesn’t mean we can’t be urged into encouraging others to change their behavior post haste.  We’ve gotten to experience some horrible behavior that could fill an entire year in only the first week.  And that behavior must stop.

We encountered the one that put us over the edge while we were coming out of the store and walking to our car, some 150 feet from the entrance.  As we approached it, the anything but a gentleman sitting in the car parked next to ours, started beeping his horn.  And then again.  Longer.  And then we saw why.  His certainly long-suffering wife was behind us trudging through the cold and the slush with their packages.  Apparently he felt it more prudent that he stay in the warm car while she goes into the store and buys his wares.  He also felt it more prudent that he sit in the warm car rather than picking her up at the entrance.  He knew she was done with their shopping.  He was honking the horn at her.  There was the extent of his chivalry.  He honked the horn so she didn’t have to wander throughout the lot looking for him.  Then to top things off, he let that car continue to sit in the parking space.  The one that had a snow bank just outside the passenger door.  When She of We said a bit too out loud, “He won’t even back out for her so she doesn’t have to climb through the snow,” the long-suffering wife said, “It’s ok. I’m used to it.”  She shouldn’t have to ever become used to such rude behavior.  So for 2013 he should resolve to figure out how to get along without her because eventually she’ll realize that also.

Other behavior we’d like to see not continued in 2013 is the media fascination with having to title all the news.  No longer are they happy reporting it.  Now they have to make up catch phrases to go along with it.  So please, take your fiscal cliff and go jump off of it.  Otherwise let’s at least have a little fun with it.  Since we’ve either avoided it or fallen off of it depending on what analyst is babbling, it should no longer be part of the evening news’ scripts.  But just in case it should sneak back into common parlance we propose the Fiscal Cliff Drinking Game.  Every time you hear that phrase you must drink a shot then call your congressman. 

Speaking of, and to, Congress, we’d like to see you go away.  You’re not doing anybody any good.  Make you’re next point of business for this session abandonment.  If you don’t have the decency to put yourself out of work, have the decency not to lie to the American people about the work you’re doing.  The “heroic” first vote to avoid the “fiscal cliff” saved the American worker about 20 cents for every $1,000 he or she makes in salary in what was supposed to be the temporary income tax increase.  It did not address the $2 per $1,000 increase in social security and other federal taxes and fees that will be withheld per month in 2013.  That means about $50 less per paycheck if your one of the average Americans getting paid every other week and if all those paychecks up add to $50,000 by the end of the year.

Finally for the fine men, women, and undecided in Washington please do not use 2013 to tell us how many jobs you’ve created.  Unless you also own a company that employs legal American workers you can’t create any.  Leave creating jobs to the business that actually hire, and pay, employees.  Intern and housekeeper positions don’t count.

Something else we’d like to see go away are all those special parking spaces around stores and restaurants.  We love our elder friends and neighbors.  We’ve often said that anybody over 80 can do whatever they feel like.  By then, they’ve earned it.  (See Entitlement Program, March 29, 2012.)  We’d like to see some of those parking spaces reserved for “Mothers to be and mothers of young children,” and for those picking up dinner to go, and even for those with Handicapped placards, turned into spaces for our Older Friends and Neighbors.  The eighty-somethings who are still driving do it well, and they aren’t the ones cajoling their doctors into signing HP applications for their high blood pressure.  Why should they have to walk 300 feet from the lot to the lobby?   Let’s face it, if you’re just running in for dinner, you can afford to run from a few yards away, or bring one of the kids to run inside while you circle the block.  So you’re a mother of young children.  Being parents of former young children from the days when there were no such preferred spots we can tell you our best shopping trips were those with the kids left at home.  Leave them at home.

Now that we are well into the 21st century, a time of unprecedented public protection against ourselves, we want to see the sale of sleds that cannot be steered or stopped stopped.  You can’t by an extra-large, sugary soft drink in New York City but you can put four 7-year-olds on a plastic sleeve, push them down a hill, and wish them luck knowing at the bottom is a 4 lane roadway separated from the top by a dozen 45 year old oak trees.  You can’t buy a lighter that takes at least three steps to ignite to start your grill for the safety of a child who may not understand that it isn’t a candy stick but you can buy an oversized Frisbee that sets the same child spinning uncontrollably on its downhill voyage over the same tree lined hillside.  We love winter sports.  Sledding, skiing, and skating make January and February bearable.  But let’s do it safely.  Nobody would ever put children on bicycles without brakes or a wheel that steers in April.  Let’s say goodbye to the winter version and stop making children headlines on the evening news.

Do we seem a little cranky today?  We’re sorry.  Usually we are quite upbeat and make the most of what we have.   Sometimes you have to take away to have better.  These are some things we like to see taken away.  Do you have others?  Would you like to see Black Friday not start on Thursday?  Is it time to make the baggage, premium seating, and boarding priority fees go away even if it does mean airfares go up?  Can we stop with gas prices that end in tenths of a cent per gallon?  Let us know.  We can be cranky together.  And then, that can go away too.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

…or is it…

Michael Leave a comment

Thanksgiving came early this year.  Actually it was absolutely the earliest it could possibly be.  Even as early as it could be, among other holiday traditions across America we still saw live trees strapped to the top of cars barreling from lot to house to have the annual Weekend After Thanksgiving Decorating Tradition take place.

That reminded us of last year’s post, “Is it live…” and so we re-present it here.

—–

This weekend was the weekend after Thanksgiving and we were out on the road, but not for a big after Thanksgiving shopping spree.  No Black Friday deals for us.  But out we were and there were stores visited, restaurants patronized, the public encountered, and stories to be told.

We could talk about how traffic laws in our state seem to have become traffic suggestions, and not very well taken suggestions.  We could talk about how waiters, waitresses, and bartenders no longer associate the term “service industry” with their chosen (or fallen into) profession.  We could even talk about how somewhere in between “May I help you?” and “Happy Holidays!” this year’s crop of shoppers and clerks are ruder than we’ve seen for quite a few years. 

Today we’re going to talk about that never ending holiday controversy, live or artificial.  On a day that begins its date with “November,” cars with live trees tied to their roofs began their journeys to becoming kindling. 

And so we debated.  Live trees smell good.  Wet charcoal does not.  Pre-lit artificial trees completely fulfill that designation only for Year One of its proclaimed 20 year lifespan.  Live trees need watered every day and there is no graceful way to crawl under the long, low hanging branches with a plastic bowl of water stretching to reach the reservoir into which the tree has become permanently attached (note for tree removal day).  Live trees don‘t need watered daily if one owns an old male dog who can’t hold his water until you get home from work.  (Live trees smell good.  Dog drenched carpet does not.)   Live trees come in thousands of shades of green found only in nature.  Artificial trees come in light green, dark green, and pink.  Artificial tree branches can be re-arranged so every ornament, no matter size or shape, can be placed exactly where you want it.  Live tree branches bend, release, and fling your Lenox collectible ornament through three rooms before smashing into the curio cabinet filled with the Swarovski crystal collection.

Did we resolve the debate?  Can two people who are dodging speeding drivers in search of big bargains list all of the pros and cons of live versus artificial?  No, it will take thousands of trips over many years to complete the list.  Until then, feel free to take your own side of the debate and decorate with whatever best reflects your style and family life.  But please do us a favor.  If you’re planning on live, remember that a cut flower cannot live in a vase for 5 weeks.  A live tree cut from its roots and left in a cup of water won’t last that long either. 

Keep your tree fed, watered, and happy.  If you’re planning on artificial, remember that just because you can erect one in each room and mount thousands of lights on them that you still risk tripped circuits and melted plastic – hot, fire prone melted plastic. 

Don’t be a newscast waiting to happen.  The only smoke anyone should see on Christmas Eve is from the stump of the pipe held in Santa’s teeth while encircling his head just like a wreath.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

 

Leaf Me Alone

Michael Leave a comment

“I remember raking leaves and then getting hot cocoa,” She of We said.  “I remember raking leaves and getting chest pains,” He of We countered.  They were discussing why leaf clearing had become such an ordeal around here.

Here is the Northeast where the fall foliage can be quite striking.  It is the thing that sometimes makes one yearn for days of real SLR cameras and big panoramic prints on the wall over the sofa stretching from end to end.  But as leaves turn color, so do they fall. 

He or We’s mini-estate holds 3 fifty-foot maples, a half-dozen somewhat larger oaks, a red-bud, a crab apple, a locust, and a couple of “just trees” on a space smaller than most fast food restaurants’ parking lots.  There are lots of leaves that fall into that tiny space.  But over the course of a few weeks they get raked or blown or sucked up into the lawn tractor’s grass catchers and tossed over the hill waiting to become the next generation’s compost.  She of We’s lands boast a similar variety of foliage droppers on another parking lot.  Her tree droppings are likewise dealt with and before the first snow falls to put the grass to bed, the grass is freed of the trees’ former dressings and able to breathe through the winter.

As Norman Rockwell like as we’d seem to be doing our job, we’ve noticed that for many, leaf-clearing is not the pleasant pastime it once was.  Just over the past few days we’ve seen neighbors blowing leaves into the streets we suppose in the hopes that the wind of the passing cars will pull the offensive vegetation to the corner where it will board the local bus into town and perhaps get lost and never find its way back.  We’ve also noticed another routinely blowing his leaves into the neighbor’s yard.  You almost could hear him thinking “they came off your trees, they’re your leaves!”

There was once a time when raking leaves into a big pile for the kids to jump into was a passing rite of fall.  Then we would drag them to the burn barrel (the leaves, not the kids) where the sweet smell of burning maple leaves would compete with the warming scent of that hot cocoa and maybe of a toasted marshmallow or a hot dog on a stick.  We remember those crisp autumn afternoons pulling the rakes through the yards, the bright sunshine never seen any other time of year dappling through the remains of the trees’ summer wear.  There may not be any cocoa each time some leaf clearing is done, and thanks to either asthmatic bleeding hearts or safety-conscious volunteer fire companies, leaf burning is a thing of the past.  Still, Both of We get our lawns free of the former colorful flora without much whining.

Now we wait for the news article about two neighbors coming to blows over one blowing his leaves into the other’s yard.  And there will be some story about someone receiving a ticket for raking debris into a city street in violation of some or another ordinance while the offender stands at the curb in front of the TV camera asking where he was supposed to rake them.  Somebody at work will question why he even bothered to plant any trees and will be looking up numbers for tree removal services so he won’t have to go through “that” any more. 

We don’t know.  The leaves aren’t that hard to deal with.  And after the whining we’ll have a glass of wine and a plate of fresh fruit and cheese.  Cocoa and marshmallows?  Next you’ll be expecting us to use the leaves to fill a plastic bag that looks like a pumpkin.  Sheesh!  Make that a bottle of wine.  Each.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

 

Is It Live or…

Michael 1 Comment

This weekend was the weekend after Thanksgiving and we were out on the road, but not for a big after Thanksgiving shopping spree.  No Black Friday deals for us.  But out we were and there were stores visited, restaurants patronized, the public encountered, and stories to be told.

We could talk about how traffic laws in our state seem to have become traffic suggestions, and not very well taken suggestions.  But that’s a rant for another day.  We could talk about how waiters, waitresses, and bartenders no longer associate the term “service industry” with their chosen (or fallen into) profession.  But that’s another rant for another day.  We could even talk about how somewhere in between “May I help you?” and “Happy Holidays!” this year’s crop of shoppers and clerks are ruder than we’ve seen for quite a few years.  But that’s a big rant for a special day. 

Today we’re going to talk about that never ending holiday controversy, live or artificial.  On a day that begins its date with “November,” cars with live trees tied to their roofs began their journeys to becoming kindling.  But this year the thought of how many stories will play out on the evening news featuring smoldering Douglas fir takes on a special meaning.  She of We will have that rare parental event looked forward to from the time her youngest one plopped his first ornament on the lowest of the branches and left it there precariously close to the paws and jaws of the family pets.  This year, Son of She of We gets to decorate his very own house for his very own first Christmas.

And so we debated.  Live trees smell good.  Wet charcoal does not.  Pre-lit artificial trees completely fulfill that designation only for Year One of its proclaimed 20 year lifespan.  Detangling lights and discovering new and colorful curse words is a rite of passage best experienced with past years’ dried sap transforming three or more bulbs into a bulb mass.  Live trees need watered every day and there is no graceful way to crawl under the long, low hanging branches with a plastic bowl of water stretching to reach the reservoir into which the tree has become permanently attached (note for tree removal day).  Live trees don‘t need watered daily if one owns an old male dog who can’t hold his water until you get home from work.  (Live trees smell good.  Dog drenched carpet does not.)   Live trees come in thousands of shades of green found only in nature.  Artificial trees come in light green, dark green, and pink.  Artificial tree branches can be re-arranged so every ornament, no matter size or shape, can be placed exactly where you want it.  Live tree branches bend, release, and fling your Lenox collectible ornament through three rooms before smashing into the curio cabinet filled with the Swarovski crystal collection.

Did we resolve the debate?  Can two people who are dodging speeding drivers in search of big bargains list all of the pros and cons of live versus artificial?  No, it will take thousands of trips over many years to complete the list.  Until then, feel free to take your own side of the debate and decorate with whatever best reflects your style and family life.  But please do us a favor.  If you’re planning on live, remember that a cut flower cannot live in a vase for 5 weeks.  A live tree cut from its roots and left in a cup of water won’t last that long either.  Don’t be a newscast waiting to happen.  Keep your tree fed, watered, and happy.  If you’re planning on artificial, remember that just because you can erect one in each room and mount thousands of lights on them that you still risk tripped circuits and melted plastic – hot, fire prone melted plastic.  Don’t be a newscast waiting to happen.  The only smoke anyone should see on Christmas Eve is from the stump of the pipe held in Santa’s teeth while encircling his head just like a wreath.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?