I don’t know what it is about weekends but I get the strangest emails and see the oddest posts between Friday afternoon and Sunday morning.

For example, an email from Friday touted this season’s best hiking sandals. I don’t know why I was getting an email encouraging me to buy women’s clothes but after I got over that bit of incredulity I was left wondering if the purveyors were actually serious about encouraging anybody with the intent of setting off on say the Appalachian Trail to do it in sandals. Or were they using term “hiking” in a more poetic sense as in trekking from Sak’s to Nordstrom.

If you’ve watched any cable channel in the last month you’ve seen a spate of advertising for “tactical” sunglasses. “Tactical” must mean something new and different for the 21st century. I learned that it meant something used to gain a desired advantage or outcome particularly in military applications. Recalling my own years in the military (admittedly in that other century that brought me those vocabulary lessons which included my working definition of tactical) I know I never had a briefing on the correct eyewear for a particular campaign, drill, or exercise. Yet it was just last Saturday that I saw a banner ad march across my screen warning me not to be taken in by imposters, these are the tactical sunglasses our heroes are wearing. Oh, and if I act now I would get a free tactical flashlight. Just pay a separate fee.

This one isn’t so care free. If you didn’t see it, the weekend news included an article about a Chicago firefighter who was cited for not securing a firearm and having an assault type rifle within the city limits when his 14 year old daughter posted a picture of herself holding the weapon on Snapchat captioned “Don’t worry, I won’t shoot up Lane,” referring to Chicago’s Lane Tech College Prep High School. It seemed a straightforward enough news story until America got hold of it. Comments to the online article ran from “they have nothing better to do than arrest 14 year olds,” and “all your cities are cesspools,” to “it’s not illegal for a child to hold a gun,” and “in all fairness the firefighter is probably white.” I’m sure none of that was what I had envisioned as protecting either our First and Second Amendments or any other rights when I volunteered for the military back in that different century. But then, I didn’t get the class on the tactical sunglasses either so what do I know.  By the way, none of the commenters questioned why the young lady was either threatening a high school or who misled her about what constitutes online humor.

I guess this was news earlier in the week but I didn’t see it until Saturday. Apparently there is a regulation that requires CEOs to declare their salaries in terms of percentage of the average worker of their company. Without going into all the details, the average CEO makes about 17 times what the average worker does. We know some CEOs make millions of dollars but the average CEO salary is $730,000. We also know that hundreds of thousands of people make minimum wage but the average salary in the US is around $43,000. We further know the average company president (there are a lot more of them than CEOs) is making $147,000 a year. Now nobody asked me but I got curious. How much does the average union president make compared to his or her rank and file. A 2017 survey of union presidents revealed 22 of them made over $400,000 in 2016 with an average salary of slightly more than $300,000. Oddly enough it was difficult to find an accurate average salary of American union laborers. The most recent number I found was from 2014 and that was $950 a week or about $49,400 per year. Like I said, nobody asked but I was interested.

This is a good one. It’s always challenging when I get to talk with my cable and Internet provider. Sunday my service went out. It was working fine until … well, let me start at the beginning. In Saturday’s paper (you do still read your local paper, don’t you?) I read an article about a widespread computer virus that was discovered and neutralized by whomever (whoever?) tracks these sorts of things. This particular thing was affecting not computers but modems and routers. Apparently a simple reset of your modem is enough to protect or free your equipment from this virus. I read this at dialysis and was a few miles away from my modem but I made that mental note to do just that when I got home. Of course I forgot. When I finally remembered on Sunday, I managed to reset my modem just as a major system outage was occurring. When my modem did not go back on line I panicked thinking I activated the virus and would never be able to go on line again and would never be able to buy those hiking sandals that would best show off my calves or those tactical sunglasses with free bonus tactical flashlight. To make a long story short (I know, too late), I called my provider and got a recorded message describing the extent of the outage and that service would be restored in a few hours. If I wanted to follow the progress I could do so at their website. Hmmm.

I don’t know what it is about weekends.