Seasonal affective disorder

It was a sad weekend. Sad because it was time to put Rosemary to bed. Sadder because this year’s unusual weather patterns left us with an autumn devoid of autumnal hues and the annual romp through the country lanes with the top down trying to catch a falling leaf or two.

Last year’s fall foliage was positively neon, a culmination of ever more brilliant colors year over year for the past five or six years. This year…bleh. I blame it on little orange men. They’ve screwed up everything else in the world that was good.

But back to nature. It was not a good year all the way around for topless driving. The spring was too wet, the summer too hot, and the fall was too dull. A dull fall is the worsts way to end convertible season.

There’s only one thing that can be done. Not end the year yet.

It’s been more than several years since I had the opportunity to run a snowflake rally through the Christmas lights, as comforting, if not quite as comfortable, as a leafy lope through the mountains. As much as there is something indescribable in driving along the mountain roads nearing the same heights as the tree tops themselves as they give up their colorful leaves, it is even more difficult to describe the feeling of driving along inside a snow globe. Both or either must be experienced.

Of course, the problem is there is no guarantee that the holliday lights season will overlap the falling fluffy flakes season. Fortunately, with a couple quick connectors it will be no problem to wake Rosemary and prepare her for a quick midwinter excursion if the opportunity arises.

I suppose you will just have to stay tuned for updates as the seasons change. Wish me luck.

Waiting for Summer

I can really not wait for summer. I had to run out yesterday. Afternoon. The warmest part of the day it was snowing!  I want a day at 72° sunny warmth. It’s not that I don’t appreciate Spring and the necessary rains that lead to burgeoning blossoms, or the cool nights and warm days that get the maple sap flowing that eventually finds its way atop my breakfast pancakes.

We are clearly in the early throes of global destruction. Before you know it, we’ll all be standing around in prehistoric looking rock lined canyons while pelting rain, roaring thunder, and brilliant flashes of lightning become the new white noise that is, or will be, the backdrop to our soon to be extinguished existence(s).

As an aside (you who watch science fiction will understand this), have you ever noticed how when our future space explorers land on a far out there planet, with more intelligent life than we have here, the planets all look like unused sets from Jurassic Park and the intelligent life has tails. But I digress…

How much longer will we have to wait for real warm weather? Up here. Not down along the Gulf of Mexico. Oddly enough, for as ancient as I am, and as many trips as I’ve made south of the Mason Dixon Line, there are only 3 cities in the Gulf I’ve been too, Houston, New Orleans, and Clearwater.  Clearwater was my favorite. Maybe again someday. Now, where was I? Oh right…

When will we get back to reasonable weather? I suppose I should be grateful I’m alive still to see any weather. It sort of reminds me of how always looking to the future we lose our appreciation for the present. And that reminds me of this week’s Uplift post Coming Attractions. Take a look.

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Encore again

Don’t look at me like that. I thought I was done too, but you know, sometimes it takes more than one trip to the curb.

When I’m not writing or speaking, I’m reading or listening. Listening to a really good speaker is fun because I can imagine what the speaker was doing or going through as I hear the words, see the movement, and feel the emotions as the speech unfolds. It gets interesting when the speaker speaks with an accent unlike mine. (Yes, we all have accents. Ask anybody who didn’t grow up in your block!) When the speaker’s first language is something other than English, I rarely have trouble understanding the words. While listening to a speaker who speaks English other than American English, I may have to listen a little closer but it too usually is not a problem (except for someone from Georgia who still isn’t sure the North won). But a writer who writes in English other than American English…well, I’m sorry, but I’m just not enough of a world traveler to be comfortable reading “colour” and not want to correct it to “color.” I’m getting better. It only took 60 some years of reading but I am getting used to the alternate spellings and the odd idioms, but, but … but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to “maths.” It makes more sense than the American “math,” given that it’s a shortened form of “mathematics,” but it just sounds too weird. There. I said it.

I walked into my daughter’s house a day last week and everything, everything was out of the kitchen cabinets and on the counters. (You remember her, the human the dog let join him on vacation in last week’s post.) “Moving?” I hesitatingly asked. “Oh good. I’m doing it right,” was her reply. Apparently, it’s a new (to me) cleaning strategy. When you want to do a serious declutter, make like you’re moving to a smaller home. If you wouldn’t take it to your new downsized abode, don’t put it back in the cabinet. I kind of like that. It seems much better than what some people refer to the Shinto method of decluttering. Hold something and if doesn’t bring joy to your life you don’t need it in your life. I have no proof of it, but looking at the sequence of events, I’m pretty sure that’s how I became an ex-husband.

A morning news article one day last week brought home the closeness of winter in a big way, which is most impressive considering it is not yet autumn. Folks at Pikes Peak woke up to six inches of snow. Here at the base of the mountains on the other side of the country we’ve been having cool nights and days alternating between deluge like rain and desert like heat. A wonderful combination to make weeds along the sides of the road flourish and flower.  They make a very pretty contrast the orange barrels that typically line the highways as an homage to the states that actually maintain their roads.

Yesterday was Constitution Day in the U.S.A.. If you missed it, don’t worry. Almost everyone did, including the local governments who order the fireworks displays for every other holiday or event you can imagine. Let’s travel through time. On July 4, 1776, the colonies’ representatives to the Continental Congress (the Second Continental Congress to be specific) signed off on the Declaration of Independence. [Yay, fireworks!] So we had a country, sort of, but no framework for the government to uh govern it. On November 15, 1777, that same Congress approved the Articles of Confederation that went into effect on March 1, 1781 when all the states ratified it. [Yay, but hold the fireworks.] The Articles established a framework, but it was more a frame of balsa instead of steel. In other words, it wasn’t terribly strong. From the government’s point of view. It treated the 13 states as 13 states, 13 independent states (as in little individual countries) bound together by the “Perpetual Union.” (Yep, that’s what it was called.) Then in May of 1787, a new batch of representatives from those sort of independent states saw the Articles needed a bit of an overhaul, and maybe they were a little rash not letting the central government do too much. So they convened the Constitutional Convention. Instead of fixing, they rewrote, and on September 17, 1787, the states’ representatives signed off on the new Constitution of the United States. [Yay! But wait, still no fireworks.] Finally on June 21, 1788, the required number of states needed to ratify the Constitution had done so and now we had a government to go along with the country. [Yay, but the fireworks people got tired of waiting (like we need another summer holiday anyway).] And so, in 2004 (yes, 2004!) Congress approved September 17 to be Constitution Day (technically Constitution and Citizenship Day) because why not. [Yay, still no fireworks but we’ll have them for Black Friday instead.]

Also for those residing in the U.S.A., today (September 18 to be clear in case you’re not reading this today), is National Cheeseburger Day! “Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger.” (Bonus points if you can identify from whence that line comes.)  Discounts throughout this great land of ours can be had from penny burgers to full price but we have a new flavor. Check here for what is certainly an incomplete list of participating burger bistros.

And I bring this up only because it is so stupid it begs to be included.

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At least it wasn’t a handgun.

I certainly hope my brain is empty now. It would be nice if my sinuses followed suit, but you know, seasons change and all that.


How about changing your mind set whenever you stop and question, “What if..” You know the What-Ifs. The questions that start with “what if” and end with tragedy. We say we have the right answer to any What-If that comes your way. Check out our latest Uplift! for how we do it!


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Weather Fools Day

April Fools and all that. Yeah yeah yeah. I understand it is still early spring, I know I live in a “temperate” zone, I get that average temperatures, especially nighttime temperatures are still “cool” — but it’s snowing! And not that little fluffy pretend snow. This is sticking snow! According to the weather nerds we could be looking for at least an inch accumulation and there could be 4 inches in the mountains. Now I’ll admit, that’s not a whole lot, but hello! It’s April! Now watch, this will be the only time the weather people get it right.

I don’t usually care much about weather, but this year it’s getting old. And it’s only April!!! If somebody offered me a grass shack on a tropical island where I would never see freezing precipitation again, I’d take it. I’d rather take my chances with hurricanes, sun stroke, and shark attacks than go through one more inch of snow fall this year.

On the bright side, we only average 140 days of any precipitation all year and we’ve already had 60 days of the stuff so in another couple months I should be able to take the convertible out of the garage.

Sheesh, a convertible – here. That’s about as much use as a pair of galoshes on that tropical island. Hmmm. Let me get those galoshes out instead.

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Let It Snow

2020 has been a pretty unusual year, virtually. We have all adapted to some pretty unusual circumstances, virtually. And we have had some measure of success in carrying on with our lives, virtually. We are working virtually, worshipping virtually, entertaining virtually, schooling virtually, and yesterday a brand new foray, virtually.
 
Western Pennsylvania does not do well with snow. I don’t know why. Ski resorts do well but otherwise most people panic at the suggestion there may be a white coating covering their spaces. When the weather nerds forecasted twelve hours of nonstop snow with an accumulation of up to 9 inches of the stuff, not a jug of milk, loaf of bread, or roll of toilet paper was safe on its shelf down at the local market. (See here if I lost you with that one.) One thing Western Pennsylvanians do well on snowy days is “snow days.” Schools, work, and other semi-essential components of life just shut down, or a less dramatic response issue a “delayed opening” or “early dismissal” order. So it wasn’t unexpected with a forecast of snow starting to accumulate in the late morning hours that local school districts would consider an early dismissal. And in fact one did. And with that we entered a new dimension, virtually.
 
A suburban Pittsburgh district declared an early dismissal for Wednesday due to the impending inclement weather. But the district is on remote learning. It was as far as I have been able to ascertain, the first virtual snow day on record.
 
It gets better. Not sarcastic better. Seriously better. This was actually a sort of planned “virtual snow day” evidence by the touching letter the district superintendent sent to all the parents Tuesday evening. In it she asked all instruction to stop at 11am and everyone to “let go of the stress and worry of school.” 
 
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all had the opportunity to just let go of stress, to start being happy, to enjoy what we have. Oh wait, we do! It shouldn’t take a snow storm to create happy memories. Two weeks ago I semi-issued a semi-challenge to recall one happy memory from 2020 each day in December as we close in on the end of this virtually unhappy year. I have been and I have been saving them so I when I think nothing good ever happens I can tangibly point to a year’s worth of good in one nobody wants to remember.
 
So, in the words or my new favorite educator, go make a snow angel, build a fort, or bake cookies. Take time for you and your family and enjoy the wonders of this season. Although I would argue that every season holds wonders.  
 
Please don’t wait for a snow day to let go of stress and worry.
 
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Timing Is Everything

Time’s Up

Yesterday for Easter, the family went out for dinner. It was a very good and we had just as much fun visiting and chatting at a table among other tables of families doing the same as we would have had at a table within one of our own set of walls. The only downside was that after the meal, after the dessert and coffee, after sitting back into a good stretch for a moment or two, as we waited patiently for our check, our patience ran thin as that patient wait ran to 20 minutes before we even spotted the person with our check to be in her apron pocket. Not for the first time did an efficient wait person who was always ready with a suggestion, always available with a drink refill, always timely with the next course, was nowhere to be found when the time to say goodbye came around.

 

AprilSnowThe Little Scamp

Yesterday was a hockey night and on the way into town as the late afternoon sun shone through the car windows warming the interior close to July levels I almost thought about switching on the air conditioning to have a good preseason run through knowing it wouldn’t be long before warm days become hot days. This morning, the day of the local baseball team’s home opener, we woke up to four (yes, 4 (!)) inches of snow. I know Punxsutawney Phil promised us six more weeks of winter but he usually orders them up consecutively.

 

Best of Two

Today is Peanut Butter and Jelly Day. Yes, it is. Really. To celebrate I was going to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, something I do maybe once a year, usually on Peanut Butter and Jelly Day. Plans were going well. I got out the peanut butter. I got out the jelly. I got out the bre… hey! there’s no bread. Then I remembered that late night post hockey game ham sandwich assembled on the last of the bread and saying to myself it was ok, I’d run out in the morning and get some. For those of you following along, that was the same morning that found 4 inches of snow on the ground and me saying boy I’m glad I don’t have to out for anything this morning.

 

Sometimes the time’s timing is running a little bit late.

 

Things Numerous but not Sufficiently Voluminous

I’ve had too many odd thoughts running around in my head and it’s time to get rid of some things that don’t make any sense to keep.

ModernThinkerHave you seen the new Internet food fad, donut chips? The last time I was at the store I purposely sought out day old donuts to try them. What you’re supposed to do is split your leftover donut in half so you have two skinny disks. Then you coat these in sugar and cinnamon and press them in a panini press. Don’t waste your time. Or your donuts. Unless you like flat, scorched, stale donuts.

I’ve seen this a lot in the last few weeks. A vehicle with appropriate handicap placard or plates idling in a handicap marked parking spot with a driver. This confuses me, particularly when I am walking past the vehicle in question after having has to park my handicap marked vehicle 3 rows away. Is this idling driver an able bodied person who dropped off his or her handicapped passenger at the store front and will return to the door to then pick up the passenger? Or is it a handicapped driver who dropped off his or her able bodied passenger and is himself (or herself) not intending on getting out of the vehicle. In either case, does that car have to be in that spot?

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View from my patio early Wednesday morning

Should it be normal that I didn’t think anything odd that almost 9 inches of snow fell here on the first full day of spring?

Baseball, the game of the boys of summer, starts its season March 29. Hockey and the boys of winter start the Stanley Cup playoffs on April 11. I wonder if this is why baseball style caps are the biggest hockey fashion accessory after replica sweaters.

There is a difference between being chronically ill and being disabled. Yes, a person can be both one leading to the other, and can be both neither affecting the other, and one can be either and not the other. The struggles are real for any of the above.

Am I the only person who still uses the 3 part recipe – eggs fat, and heat – for scrambled eggs and adds a splash of half and half in my morning meal mix?

QuestionIt’s been eleven days since we changed our clocks to Daylight Saving Time and I still have one clock that hasn’t’ been advanced yet. If people want an extra hour of daylight in the summer why don’t they just get up an hour earlier?

Why are there braille markings on drive up ATMs?

How many spiders are living with me that I can wipe out all the cobwebs in the corners on Monday and they’re all back Tuesday morning? And should I be worried about that?

Thank you for listening. I feel much lighter now.

 

Cloudy With a Good Chance

It’s just a couple days to Christmas and that means children and romantics are asking will there be a White Christmas this year. Today’s weather people can pretty much tell you within one or two percentage points if it will or if it won’t wherever you are. It wasn’t always that way.

I remember many years ago there weren’t weather forecasts on the evening news. There were weather reports. TIROS I became the first weather satellite to watch over the Earth’s climate conditions when it was launched in 1960. Before that the weather segment was what happened, not what to expect. Probably the only weather men willing to take a risk and “predict” tomorrow’s weather were those in San Diego, or perhaps Phoenix, where you could say it’s going to be warm and sunny and get it right almost every day. Where I grew up the weathermen spoke of today’s weather in the East being pretty much what yesterday’s weather was in the MidWest. And if one wasn’t sure, it never hurt to predict “partly cloudy.”

One December back then we were closing in on Christmas Day and it looked like the only White Christmas we were going to see was the movie of the week special presentation. It was all but confirmed when the reigning weather champ said out loud, on TV, for all the world (or at least the local metro area), the next few days before the the holiday would be at best – “partly cloudy.”

I believe that was two days before Christmas and we kids sighed our sighs that even if we got new sleds (which we never did, now that I think about it), we’d not be racing downhill on them. So off to bed we went. And we woke up the following morning to about 6 inches of fresh fallen snow! Woohoo!! (Or Yippee!! as we would have said back then.)

Later that day on the local evening newscast the regular anchorman introduced a fill-in weatherman for the evening weather report. “And tonight we have John Smith filling in at the weather desk. Joe couldn’t make it in today. He’s still at home shoveling the partly cloudy off his driveway.”

So for all of you wishing for a White Christmas this weekend, I wish for you as much partly cloudy as your driveways can hold. Yippee!! in advance.

That’s what I think. Really. How ’bout you.

Milk and Bread and Toilet Paper – Oh My

A week ago I was writing about a restaurant with a sign up that said “Patio Open.” This week, that patio is covered with snow. There are times I truly hate February. But I have my milk, bread, and toilet paper so I know I’m set for the rest of the month.

I’m sure there are super-markets across the country, no, across the world that are overrun with mad shoppers a flake short of looters hoarding all the milk, bread, and toilet paper at the first hint of a storm. But here we can actually walk that particular cat back to a real crisis – sort of.

It was in 1950, the day after Thanksgiving. The forecast was dire, 12 inches of snow over the next 24 hours. The weathermen (remember, 1950, no weatherwomen then) were wrong. Over three feet fell over those 24 hours. Over the next few days the locals dealt with it. The snow came, emergency services served, and people existed on their Thanksgiving leftovers.

The weekend came and went and so did the leftovers. Probably because of those leftovers, the city grocers had fairly well stocked shelves come Monday. So well stocked they were that one of the local papers headlined how well things were going with “City’s Food Supply Is in Good Shape.” The story was slugged “There Is Plenty for Everybody…” That was a relief, but rather short-lived. The article’s second sentence began, “Milk was the one shortage that has hit all sections…”  The sentences that followed noted specific abundances, praised workers who showed up, and in general commented positively on how there is still plenty of food for everybody. Except for that milk thing. Oh, and bread which had been “doled out in some stores.” Remember, 1950. World War II rationing wasn’t that long ago. “Doled out” did not conjure up images of “plenty for everybody.”

Then to make matters worse the story continued that heads of families should buy “only what you need on a day-to-day schedule in order to have enough of everything to go around.” That doesn’t sound like “plenty for everybody” at all. No sir, not at all.  No milk, no bread and here are families who just spent a weekend of every meal that included leftover turkey gravy. And those were some big families (remember, 1950, baby boomers). If they needed enough of anything to go around it was going to be toilet paper. And it was going to be soon!

Ever since then, no matter what the forecast, if there was any snow in it then as God as our witness we will NEVER run out of milk, bread, or toilet paper! And that’s why today when I stopped in the bakery for a loaf of bread all that was left were a few mini-Italians and a couple donuts. The little cooler had no milk and they don’t even sell toilet paper. And yes, yesterday’s forecast called for 1 to 3 inches by tomorrow.

Fortunately I really don’t drink much milk. I myself am a mini-Italian so I was quite satisfied with the available bread. Since the inception of places like Sam’s and Cosco I can open my own toilet paper franchise.

The donuts? They were a plus. I figure you can never have too much of anything with sprinkles, and if I didn’t buy them somebody else would.

I can hardly wait for the next snowfall.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

 

Let It Snow

We’re writing this on December 21.  That’s the first day of winter.  In fact, according to the weather people here it was sometime a bit after 12:30pm that the earth was at its absolute farthest from the sun making that day the shortest, the darkest, and the least absorbing of the sun’s warmth.  It’s going to be 61 degrees today.

Sixty-one degrees might be an ok temperature for Florida for the first day of winter but we’re north of the Mason-Dixon Line.  Our average temperature for this date is 30 degrees.  Three days ago when it was still fall it was 18 degrees during the day, 10 or so at night.  There was also snow.  Lots of snow covering every non-driving surface around.  (What can we say?  We have some decent road crews.)  Today there is only rain and it has melted all of the snow.

The day before the first day of winter the weather people were predicting highs in the 40’s for Christmas Eve and Christmas.  Not nearly cold enough to make for a white Christmas.  And that’s exactly how all of them led off their reports.  “They’ll be no white Christmas this year,” they all said.  One could almost hear the collective wails of every child in the greater metropolitan area.  How will Santa get their booty to them?

Then on the first day of winter, the one with a predicted high in the 60’s, the one on which the local weather people had less than 12 hours earlier declared no white Christmas, the local forecasts now called for temps in the 20’s on Christmas Eve including the possibility of snow and perhaps accumulated snow for Christmas morning.  We think it’s a conspiracy.  Somebody from the North Pole got to those weather people and made them change their forecast.  So what if they turn out wrong.  They usually do!

Actually, what we really think is, does it really matter.  Will the children find the holiday less holiday-ish without snow?  The parents will appreciate being able to drive to church and then to Granma’s on snow-free roads even if their town doesn’t have a crack road crew.  And the road crews will get to enjoy the holiday too.  Speaking of church, even though there was some snow there a few weeks ago, snow isn’t the norm in Bethlehem.  If those on the first Christmas were able to do without the white stuff, we can manage also.

Christmas isn’t about how white it can be, how many presents are under the tree, or how many new cookies were thought up for the year.  It’s a time to be with family and with cherished friends and companions.  It’s a time to unwrap one of the best gifts of all, love.  And it’s a time to wish a very special One happy birthday.  Snow or no.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?