Tag Shopping

Let’s Go Clubbing!

Michael 1 Comment

The holidays are coming.  Some of the retailer advertisements would have had you believe that the holidays came a couple of months ago but with Thanksgiving rolling in next week and Christmas just another month after that, we feel pretty confident saying they are looming.  Soon all our free time will be taken up with cooking, baking, and decorating.  If you’re looking for that last piece of regularly scheduled insanity, this week might be your last chance.  And what better way to close out the insanity than with a weekend at the clubs!

No, not those clubs.  The shopping clubs!  Regardless of the level club you patronize it’s only going to get more frantic from now through Christmas.

To start, there are the classic shopping clubs.  To these you pay a fee for the privilege of being notified of special deals on special days for special people willing to wait especially for that special sale.  Usually only on-line, shopping clubs are clubs in the truest sense.  You have to be invited, you have to pay your dues, and you don’t get to order off the menu.  Gilt Group and Beyond the Rack are two popular shopping clubs.  Some clubs require a membership but without a membership fee.  These are the public pubs of the shopping clubs, usually divisions of other retailers and include Haute Look and Rue La La.

At the other end of the spectrum are the corner bar versions of our clubs.  These are the remainder stores.  Big Lots, Ollie’s, and Tuesday Morning are filled with bargains that nobody else needs, wants, or could sell.  Everybody is welcome and the discounts can be deep.  But be cautious while clubbing at the neighborhood tavern.  Not all of the deals are deals and not all of the merchandise is of the expected deep discount.

The most common of the clubs that will see high level holiday shopping sprees are the warehouse clubs.  Costco, Sam’s and BJs may be the only remaining warehouse clubs in the United States.  Here you pay a fee and buy in large quantities.  So large are the quantities that stand-up comedians have fed on the warehouse clubs since the Price brothers turned an airplane hangar into the first Price Club in 1976.  (If you’re wondering, Price Club eventually merged with Costco.)  You may not need a pallet load of toilet paper but if you want one, the warehouse clubs will sell you one.  Or more.

Yep, it will probably be the warehouse clubs that will be filled this week and weekend as zillions of Christmas lights, mountains of frozen appetizers, plentiful place-settings, hundreds of miles of garland, oodles of electronics, and the occasional occasional chair will be trucked out to pickups and vans and the shopping season opens with a round of clubbing more feverish than Saturday night at a mid-seventies disco.

And they even come with their own cover charge.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Up Next: Stoopid Tuesday

Michael Leave a comment

Only 52 shopping days until Christmas.  We could have sworn Black Friday was just a couple weeks ago.  Oh wait.  It was.  Seems around here stores have been advertising “Black Friday Prices” for their weekend sales for the past month or so.  Weekend sales, actually one day sales (with an extra preview day and sometimes an extra wrap-up day) are sweeping the country.  Everything is cheaper on Saturday.  It makes one wonder what those poor schmucks who work the weekend have to pay when they go shopping on Tuesday.

Tuesday has to be the pits, shopping wise.  We know about the weekend sales (actually one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day on Friday and sometimes an extra wrap-up day on Sunday).  We know that on Monday there will be unadvertised specials to get rid of the “special purchases” brought in just for the more unsuccessful weekend sales.  Thursday is the day the buyers set out the stuff that will be on sale on the upcoming weekend sales and there will always be new discounts for the shopper willing to use his or her store credit card to reap those extra savings on this extra savings day.  Wednesday is the day that the grocery stores end their weekly specials so everybody is there picking up the items they said they would go back and get before the sale ended.  That leaves Tuesday as the only day that a retail store actually sells stuff at the full retail price.  Assuming that somebody actually goes shopping on Tuesday – Stoopid Tuesday.

But things will be a little bit better now that there are only 52 shopping days until Christmas.  Just in yesterday’s paper there were advertising supplements for trees, ornaments, lights, toys, and camping gear with their advertised prices good all week long.  But the ads for clothes, shoes, scarves, hats, gloves, outerwear, and underwear were noticeably missing having come out on Thursday for their usual weekend sales (actually one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day Friday).  You can get a great deal on a crossbow this Tuesday but forget about finding any deals on a new winter coat until later in the week.

We hope you don’t have to work weekends so you too can take full advantage of the amazing “Black Friday Prices” at this week’s weekend sales (you know, the one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day Friday) without the annoying wait for Black Friday.  But if you have to work this weekend remember, there are only 8 Stoopid Tuesday shopping days until Christmas.  That leaves you with 44 other days for the good stuff.  You’ll be fine.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Breach My Britches

Michael Leave a comment

We’ve talked about this before and people aren’t listening.  Or maybe they are and they don’t care.  After all, it’s their money if they want to give it away.  It just seems that it’s more the Average Joe and Josephine that are being bamboozled.  And just what are we talking about?  Call it what you will from the polite “breach” to the let’s-be-honest-about-this “theft.”  (And you’re probably figuring out that this isn’t going to be one of those breezy, happy go lucky posts today.)

So, here’s the deal.  Now K-Mart has joined Target and Home Depot and Michael’s and even P. F. Chang’s and Dairy Queen having had their charge systems hacked.  And what about all the other stores owned by the same companies?  If K-Mart’s systems have been compromised what about Sears and Lands’ End and Parts Direct?  Is our money in peril at these stores also?

How do we know these attacks are aimed at the little guys, the you’s and me’s of the world?  Look at the targets, like Target.  Not the sort of places Donald Trump patronizes.  Why us?  Because is seems for the good or bad, our demographic doesn’t pay much attention to our money.  We’re funny that way.  We might make sure our 401K is being matched but we willingly hand over our debit and credit card numbers to any retailer – brick and mortar, on-line, or phone.  It might only be a $10 purchase but it’s usually $10 we don’t have in our pockets and pull out a card for payment.  Stop and think about it.  When was the last time you used real money for gas?

So using money might help to fix things.  If there aren’t cards being used then cards’ information can’t be stolen.  But what about virtual stores?  You can’t stuff a $20 bill into a modem.  We used to use things called checks.  We would order something, send in a check for payment, and the store sent us merchandise in return.  Just like with money!  So you had to wait a few extra days but it beats spending days on end trying to convince the good folks at your local bank that you really didn’t go to Barbados last weekend and spend $2,400 on Jet Ski rentals.

If you think you’d like to get in on this new-fangled thing called money you better do it quickly.  It seems a number of banks are considering doing away with, and some actually already have done away with branch offices.  They could soon be no bank to go to get money.  We’ll still have ATMs but they aren’t any more secure than the stores’ money systems.  In fact, banks have already been hacked.  JP Morgan Chase may be the most recent, and affecting 76 million households the largest, but it’s not the first bank to lose our data.  (See list below.)

Where do you shop?  Big box stores, grocery stores, on-line? This year’s retail “winners” in the data breach contest are the thieves who hacked into Home Depot, Target, Supervalu, Neiman Marcus, Michael’s, E-Bay, and K-Mart.  Where do you bank?  There are too many of them that have been lost to thieves to even think about.  And when you think about banking don’t just think about your debit card.  Where are your credit cards issued, processed, and billed?  Who holds your investments?  Do you have retirement funds sitting somewhere?  And who will be next?  Insurance companies or utilities?

A poll taken by the Travelers’ insurance companies in July of this year discovered that only 23 percent of those questioned worry a great deal about identity theft.  Even though the past year has seen at least a half-dozen major news stories on significant data breaches, this number is actually less than those who worried a great deal about identity theft in May of last year (31%).

So come on now.  Join us and join the folding money brigade.  Do you know where your cash is?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

(To see our past posts on this topic please enter “Debit” into the search box at the upper right of this screen.  To see the real scary stuff, type in “Bank Data Breach” or “Retail Data Breach” into a search engine, skip the articles and go straight to the comments.  Scary, scary.)

The Top Ten Data Breaches per Bankrate.com (Data from 2013, does not include 2014 incidences.):

Target (affected 40 million card accounts and 70 million customer data for $1.5 billion)
Global Payments, Inc. (1.5 million card accounts for $90 million)
Tricare US Military medical insurance (5 million beneficiaries’ identities stolen)
Citibank (360,000 credit card accounts for $19.4 million)
Sony (100 million users’ identities stolen)
Heartland Payment Services, credit card processor (130 million card accounts for $2.8 billion)
Bank of New York- Mellon (12.5 million customers’ personal data lost during back-up transfer)
Countrywide Financial (17 million accounts downloaded by employee and sold to other lenders)
T. J. Maxx (90 million card accounts for $2.47 billion)
Veterans’ Administration (26.5 million veterans and active duty identities stolen)

Past Their Prime

Michael 1 Comment

Everything has an expiration date.  We suppose that means that everything expires.  But do they really?  Ok, first of all, this post really isn’t about expiration dates.  Just hang in there for a couple of paragraphs.  Second, they aren’t all “expiration” dates.  Without getting too technical, let’s look at all of those dates on the things we buy.

“Expiration” dates are the dates that the product ceases to exhibit the characteristics identified. For example, after the expiration date there is no guarantee that an 81mg aspirin tablet will still deliver 81mg of aspirin. It may not hurt you to take it but you won’t be getting the full benefit of it.  Drugs, chemicals, some baking products have expiration dates.  Most often these dates are the first or the last day of a specific month and year (“Expires Oct 31, 2014”).

“Do Not Sell After” dates are the last date an item should be sold that still will deliver the product with the expected quality and safety for some additional period of time.  The most famous sell by date is on milk.  If you buy milk on its last day of sell you don’t have to chug it all before midnight.  You can buy milk on the last day and take it home and drink it over several days.  The number of days are some agreed upon time based on harvest and packaging (or milking, a harvest of a different hand).  The tricky part with these dates is that each product has its own expectation of use period.  You can look them up or let experience be your guide.  Does it still smell good?  Drink the milk.  A couple or three days won’t hurt you any.

“Beyond Use” dates are the dates a product should not be used beyond.  (Clever, don’t you think?)  This means the item is not going to do you any good and may do you harm if you take it or use it after that date.  Specialty drugs, hand-crafted or some artisan food products, and certain chemicals have beyond use dates.  These dates have been determined by specific tests and assays and are usually published in official references for the products’ manufacturers.  If it says that the beyond use date (or “Use By”) is October 12, 2014, that means the 13th is bad luck.  Don’t do it!

That, at last, brings us to the heart of this post.  Coupons!  Last weekend He was going through his coupon keeper (yes, he uses coupons) slotting in last week’s haul and sifting out the “expired” coupons.  And that’s when it struck him.  Why are coupons so bleeping specific?  He was planning on grocery shopping on Sunday, October 12 but many of the coupons that could have been useful expired on October 9.  What was the significance?  It was far from the start or the end of the month (at least 9 days).  October 9 was not a week’s start or end; it was a mid-week Thursday.  They originally came from a Sunday newspaper supplement so they weren’t a specific number of weeks from their published date.  It was some random day someone picked out just like they were dealing with caustic chemicals that would inflict harm if you dared tried to redeem them after their beyond use date!

We understand it is by the companies’ good graces that they honor us with special savings but it turn they also are creating brand loyalty.  Get with it big companies and coupon printers!   If it’s good enough for aspirin to expire at the end of some generic month, why can’t coupons be the same?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

(Do not read after December 31, 2045.)

Reality Bytes

Michael Leave a comment

Every now and then reality gets in the way.  The reality is that He of We was in the hospital for a while and although we prepped a few posts to keep things up during the convalescence, they weren’t enough.  It happens.  Now that things are a bit better we’re going to try to get back on our regular schedule.  If we don’t, you’ll figure it out.  Back to reality!

—–

Our job is hard!  It shouldn’t be.  Staying grounded in reality should be easy, natural, a no-brainer.  Quantum physics is hard.  Criminal defense law is hard.  Matching coupons to weekly supermarket sales is hard.  Love is hard.  Reality?  Easy as pie.  Yeah, right.

When we started this blog reality was easy.  It was everything the reality TV shows weren’t.  Since then, it’s gotten complicated.  Did you know that there is a newspaper syndicate out there that was soliciting, postings, capturing votes for, and awarding prizes for pet selfies?  Who frames the picture?  Who sets the background?  Who works the shutter for Pete’s sake!?  When “they” say pets are people too, nobody really believes them.  Do they?  Even the camera app people?

On the other hand, here is something that reality might have right although we’re not sure why in this case.  Everyone has heard the tale that we should all smile more often.  After all, it takes something like 8,647 muscles to frown and only 2 to smile.  Alright, that’s a little exaggerated but who’s going to count?  The other day, He of We was laying n bed alternating smiling and frowning trying to count muscles.  (What can we say?  He has that kind of time right now.)  After a few rings around that one the score came up that indeed there are many more muscles involved in the frowning process than in smiling.  If you really concentrate at it you can actually feel the muscles take their positions.  Why would we be built this way?  It seems that smiling is much more beneficial than frowning so why is it so much harder?

Even today’s holiday is harder than reality should be.  For 120 years Americans have been celebrating the contributions including economic achievements that laborers make to the country by celebrating Labor Day.  But each year more people end up working that day (this day).  Because it breaks the boundary between summer and fall and off time and school time, Labor Day traditionally is celebrated by sales and clearances as much as by parades and picnics.

So there you have it.  Or them.  A few ponderables about reality.  Some things to think while you’re flipping burgers, smiling at the dog next door trying to get a good picture taken, before heading to the mall to find one last good clearance on some new walking shorts.  We tell you, this job is hard, but somebody’s got to do it!

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

More things that make us go “Hmm”

Michael Leave a comment

These were some of the things overheard or read over the last week that made us go hmm. 

An article released by the Washington Post discussed the rise of non-dairy milk products.  We’re not so certain you can call soy “milk” a milk product but we suppose it sounds better than “plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage.”  Anyway, in this article, the author contends that the plant-based products are the fastest growing segment of the dairy beverage industry segment.  In two years it has doubled its market share.  If you continued to read and did a little extra research you would find out that plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverages’ market share rose from 3% to 6%, a 100% increase.  Of course it’s the fastest growing segment.  It’s the only growing segment.  Every other beverage has already been at the top for a few generations.  If dairy-cow milk products rose a modest 10%, that would make milk’s market share 104%, clearly impossible.  Anything other than milk, the cow-type, is going to be the fastest growing segment.  Hmm.

That same article postulated why the plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage was growing at such a phenomenal rate.  Because it tastes good.  Actually it’s not the plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage that tastes good; it’s the flavored, plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage that tastes good.  We’re pretty certain that if you took the vanilla flavor out of the soy “milk,” it would taste much like a hot and sour soup without the hot or sour.  Hmm.

While reaching for a gallon of milk (cow-based), He of We overheard a man on his cell phone while standing in front of the creams, half-and-half, buttermilk, and other milk products at the store.  “Are you sure 8 ounces is a cup?” he was saying.  “There isn’t anything on the carton that says so.  Maybe I should get a big carton.”  A pause.  “Well if you say so, but if you run out don’t expect me to come back out here for more heavy cream just because you’re too stubborn to admit that 8 ounces might not be a cup.” Hmm.

Further on down the aisle, He was at the deli counter and asked for a half pound of Colby cheese.  The counterperson plopped some slices on the scale and it registered 0.45 pound.  “Is that close enough” asked the cheese seller or do you want me to take a slice off?”  Hmm.

In the television news there was a story about the rising cost of cooking out. Actually, it was about the rising cost of the food most of us put on the grill, that is, beef and pork. The story mentioned that the rising costs of beef and pork could increase the cost of a backyard cook out by as much as 20% from last year.   They made no mention of the relative cost of charcoal or bottled propane. They did suggest that to keep the cost of cooking out down we should consider not cooking out as much. We’re not certain because we aren’t the ones important enough to be on television, but it seems that if the cost of hamburger meat used to grill a burger outside went up, it also went up if you use it to broil that same hamburger inside. Hmm.

This one was heard on a radio commercial for vodka. It claimed that the advertised product is gluten free. Of course it is. The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics advices that all distilled spirits are gluten-free. It also seems to us that if you’re really required to worry about the gluten content of anything, who would be one diagnosed with celiac disease, you’re probably not going to be drinking much vodka, with or without gluten. Hmm.

We know that you can believe everything you read on the Internet (just ask anyone who works for the Internet). We suppose that goes for TV, radio, and newspapers, too. Hmm, we’ll get back to you about supermarkets.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Too Much Information

Michael Leave a comment

“I just got those same plants at ‘Dirt Cheap Nursery’ and paid $30 less than you.”  That was the greeting She of We got as she rolled her cart into the checkout line with her bounty of spring flowers.

It wasn’t long ago that He of We was waiting patiently with a shopping cart of items soon to be paid for that someone passed by him and said, “I just got that [thing] at ‘Big Box Store’ cheaper.”

She of We is certain it’s some sort of affliction from which we suffer.  We seem to be the type of people that others just want to engage.  Everybody has at least one story that begins, “I was walking down the aisle and this lady came up to me, held up a sweater and asked if that color makes her look pale.”  We get that every time we’re in a store.  But it doesn’t stop there.  It continues on to why the lady is looking for a sweater, why that particular color called to her to begin with, how she had worn that color before and sometimes received compliments and other times disapproval, and had we ever used that mayonnaise made with olive oil.

People are now beginning to critique our price recognition skills.  They are most probably just trying to be helpful.  Unsolicited so but still helpful.  And that makes us wonder, what are we to do with all this information?  Do we bolt out of line and return the offending items to their former places on the store shelves?  Do we ask for proof in the form of an advertisement and/or receipt?  Do we challenge the price check person’s memory?  Do we smile politely and hope the line moves fast enough that we don’t hear from these people again?

We suppose we should be happy that we don’t project the impression that we’re not civil and will snap at anybody who violates our space – physical or economic.  It is better to be personable than to be disagreeable.  And someday, somebody might actually present worthwhile information.  (We question the $30 cheaper flowers when the total was only going to be about $70.)

Until then, we’ll continue to suffer our affliction.  If it makes others feel good, who are we to take that feeling away?  We’d like to mention though that we are getting tired of being part of the sweater shopping experience.  Jewelry.  Now that’s a different story.

And in case you’re wondering, the olive oil mayonnaise isn’t bad.  You should try it sometime.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

And If You Order Now…Part 1

Michael Leave a comment

A local television station recently reported on new shopping sites that lower your costs. Television shopping channels are comparing their prices to those in brick and mortar retail outlets. Infomercials are offering “free” or dramatically reduced trial periods. What do these all have in common? Boy are they expensive!

Selling products remotely is nothing new. You can go back to the sixties and find record clubs that offered 10 albums for a penny. Selling music on TV was a staple then. And the penny sale was the hook they all baited to get you into a long-term arrangement. Get your 10 albums now and agree to buy a certain quantity over time. Don’t like that idea? How about get your 10 albums now and never have to buy another one ever, period. But you would get an album or two every month “on approval.” If you wanted it, you kept it and sent them money. If you didn’t want it, you sent it back by a certain date.

While the record clubs were fine-tuning their pitches, home shopping was starting to take off. The earliest versions were the televised equivalents of the print ads found in the Sunday supplements of every major American newspaper. No longer were you limited to a picture and your imagination about how something worked. Now you could see it in action on your TV screen. The prices were reasonable even though shipping was extra, and you could always count on some special bonus if you ordered a certain dollar amount, usually a “surprise package.” Woohoo.

But the real money was still around the corner. The televised department store. Entire networks were set up to do nothing but sell. All of them had some catchy 3 letter name so they sounded like real television networks. And they all started out as economical alternatives to going to the mall. It’s two in the morning and you’re bored. Let’s go shopping! It won’t cost any more than going out and you don’t have to get out of your jammies to do it.

And here we are today. Television shopping networks, infomercials, print ads, and on-line stores. Somewhere we’ve lost the record clubs but we have Hulu+ instead. No longer are they content with competing with the brick and mortar outlets, they want to be better. Now there are high end fashion sites with real couture. Accessories from shoes to bags to scarves to belts. Jewelry from costume (a few pieces here and there), to this week’s favorite gemstone. We’ve seen purses over $400, rings in four figures, and a dress suited for a red carpet. Don’t worry about the price. There are payments available. Without interest. Is a one-time “Holy Cow” hit to your debit card out of the question? Just make 4 easy payments of “oh-my-gosh” instead and it’s yours.

Do we begrudge those businesses making money. Of course not. Do we begrudge those who buy a purse for more than their weekly salary to carry around in it? Absolutely not. Do we think things are getting out of control? For sure!

In the original Star Trek movie, when they return to the 1940’s Capt. Kirk says to Mr. Spock, “They are still using money.” We’re pretty certain that’s a statement that we never want to make. How do we stop this roller coaster? Part 2 is coming.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Dat’s a Nice Burs

Michael Leave a comment

In the 1983 movie “Trading Places” a creepy man sits down next to Louis Winthorpe’s fiancé Penelope Witherspoon, points to her handbag and says, “Dat’s a nice burs,” which we believe translates to “that’s a nice purse.”  Very appropriate because Penelope was played by Kristin Holby whose daytime job was an Yves St. Laurent model.  YSL was big into purses in the early 80’s.  Actually, everybody was then.  And they still are now.

In was just this past weekend that our local weather turned bad enough that everybody who is anybody stayed indoors.  She of We took advantage of staying inside her doors by spending time with several of the home shopping channels.  She enjoys shopping on television, out of catalogues, and through the Internet and she has figured out the good, the bad, and ugly of no-touch purchasing.

It seems over this weekend all of the shopping channels were featuring — purses!  Not just any bags.  No these aren’t the $40 variety that a lady wouldn’t mind being seen with while at the same time wouldn’t mind when the local bus drives by too close to the sidewalk and the only thing between that geyser of water it just launched and the lady with the handbag is the handbag.  These are the bags that everybody will be looking for this season (as the shopping hostess will shortly proclaim) and can be yours for the one time, never to be seen again, super special price of only $327, or $109 in three easy payments.  The good – take advantage of that easy pay option.  There’s no interest, no extra charges, no hidden fees. That’s borrowing money for free!  The bad – that purse is over $300!  Even in free money that’s a lot of money.  Leave it on the screen.  The ugly – compared to the retail stores, that’s actually a good price.

When did purses get to cost as much as 1980’s vintage refrigerators?  With all the company monogramming and logo-ing on just about every offering, why are you paying them to do their advertising?  And the one we couldn’t resist asking, if you buy a $300 purse, how much could you possibly have left to put in it?

Another disturbing trend being broadcast on the shopping channels, in commercial spots, and as stand-alone infomercials is skin care.  We’re both old enough to remember when skin care was a jar of cold cream.  Today it’s a billion dollar business coming $100 at a time.  Serums and oils and creams made of fruits, vegetables, sea water, and the occasional cold cream base are everywhere.  For them to work their magic you must buy the whole set.  And the whole set runs well over $100.  But that’s ok.  Buy now and they are willing to charge you only $39.95 for that vital full kit.  But buy now and you are also agreeing to an automatic shipment of the whole kit every month at the regular price.  One hundred dollars of skin care products every month.  Now there’s a budget buster.

Watch out for more “too good to be true” deals out there.  Like, did you know that the gold dangling bracelet on the screen up there may be gold plated resin?  Someone out there is coating plastic bracelets, pendants, and earrings with a bit of gold and calling it gold plated jewelry.  It sounds good but do you really need a $90 plastic ring?  A great price for gold.  Not so great for fake.

We know every woman wants flawless skin, a nice bauble on her finger, and for someone to come up to her and say “Dat’s a nice burs.” Our suggestions are find a jar of cold cream, keep you purses under $50, and get the good jewelry.  Be a critical thinker before clicking away a few hundred dollars because someone is telling you it’s a good deal.  Don’t be a sheep.  Be unique.  Start a trend.  Buy what you need, not what someone else tells you that you absolutely have to have.  Now get out there and shop.  Or stay in there and shop.  It’s not going to snow forever.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Him again?

Michael Leave a comment

Today, a mini-rant.  We, as most of the world, are trying to make ourselves better people.  Persons?   We do good for our friends, neighbors and co-workers.  We give to charities.  We contribute to our local food bank.  We let trucks pull in front of us.  We’re nice people wanting to be nicer.  Isn’t everybody?

Two things nice people do are practice patience and exhibit tolerance.  Yet there are some folks that try even the most patient person’s tolerance.  These are the behaviors we’ve noticed again over just the past few weeks and the ones we can do without while we’re being nice to the rest of the world.

The clerk trying to make life easy for him or her and damn the customer.  Recently He of We was checking out at one of his favorite stores when at the end of the transaction instead of the computer cash register printer spewing forth the printed record of his purchases it made an awkward sound, shimmied a bid, then did nothing.  The clerk said that printer had been giving him problems all day and did He really want a receipt.  “Not if you’ll be available to stand up for me if I should have to come back with an unwanted item within 30 days and with a receipt.’’  The clerk then proceeded to repair the printer which apparently meant re-loading the paper properly.

The boss who gleefully reminds the workers who’s the boss.  Whether after a meeting, lunch, or a special celebration, there is a boss who will remain anonymous whose call to return to the business of taking care of business is “back to your holes and do something.”  Not a particularly well taken suggestion particularly when some of those being spoken to have windowless offices down a blind hall.  (That’s his good point.)

The guy who abuses the express check-out lane.  We’ve brought up this one before and we’re not talking about someone with 13 or 14 items in a 12 item lane.  We mean the person who pulls up a loaded cart with 30 or 40 items.  These people know the rules but they also know that the cashier isn’t going to say anything lest he or she (the cashier) ends up with an unsatisfied customer.  Instead, the overly patient cashier waits until the next person in line is up and apologizes for the inconvenience.

The party at the restaurant who continues to use the table for 30, 40, even 60 minutes after paying the check.  We’ve mentioned how we don’t wait for food and encourage everyone to practice table waiting restraint.  If it’s more than a 15 or 20 minute wait, there’s probably another restaurant nearby with the same menu.  Spread your wings.  What we never conjectured was that the waits are caused by people who consider their tab and tip admission to their table for the evening.  If you aren’t finished socializing after the coffee and deserts move to the lounge, a local bar, or somebody’s house for goodness sake.  (Thanks to Daughter of She for bringing up this brand of irritant.  She was waiting at a restaurant where the hostess told her and company of the reason for the wait.  That should have signaled the end of that wait!)

As we said, we’re trying to be nicer than we already are.  Can’t everybody?

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?