Tag Shopping

Out Yinzered

Michael 3 Comments
In an area where toilet paper hoarding is legendary, folks here have taken to different shelves and sections in the stores to strip bare. 
 
There are solid psychological theories about why people choose toilet paper as their survival equipment of choice. In the Greater Pittsburgh area, land of  Yinzers*, we augment our pantries at every snowstorm with milk, bread, and toilet paper. We’ve been doing it since the big snow of 1950 when three feet of the stuff fell in less than 24 hours. After the initial shock wore off and people could get out to replenish their larders they found grocery stores fairly well stocked. The only shortages were milk and bread. People were encouraged to buy only what they needed so the thin supply could serve as many families as possible. The people responded and kept their purchase quantities reasonable but ever since when the weather brings less than ideal local travel conditions, second and third generation Yinzers flock to the stores ahead of the storm to stock up on milk and bread – and you might as well grab an extra pack of toilet paper. 
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Yinzer hoarding is so ingrained it’s even included in winter weather forecasts. (CBS Pittsburgh)

So now that the news is reporting on hoarding activities outside of Western Pennsylvania we have to up our shelf-clearing game. Here then are my personal observations.

 
Standing in the produce section of the local mega-mart, the onion and garlic bins have been decimated, even the exotic black garlic. Checking the corner cabinet I see the tomatoes and green peppers are also well picked over. It’s clearly a case of tomato sauce over prep. In a very high Italian background area, we spend our late summers putting up quarts of tomato puree and Grandma’s Sauce. Apparently the jars on the shelves in the basement are running low and in case we don’t get to put in the plants in the backyard garden this summer we better get what we need and work on new stock now.
 
Moving to the deli department, the dry sausages and meats were in short supply. In the center store tuna in pouches was nowhere to be found but bags of dried chipped beef were plentiful. Along with the vanishing dry pastas I can deduce that tuna noodle casseroles will be on many future dinner tables with pepperoni for late night snacking and jerky for an on-the-go bite during afternoon walks. I guess even the threat of extended isolation doesn’t improve the outlook for a big platter of SOS. (Personally I like chipped beef on toast. Perhaps a remnant from my army days.)
 
Over in the coffee and tea section the caffeine fiends perhaps realizing the critical need coffee drinkers exhibit have left a wide variety of blends and flavors and in imppressive quantities. Tea, loose and in bags, however were almost completely gone. Likewise hot chocolate. However, instant ice tea, lemonade, and other drink mixes were so-so. It seems everybody believes the power of a nice cup of tea will cure all ills and the hot chocolate will keep the kids quiet.
 
The frozen food freezers (redundant?) were extremely low on pizzas, ice cream, and potato products (french fries, waffle fries, hash browns, etc.). Oddly French bread style pizzas were still well stocked. That works out for me because I have a small freezer. Those big pies take up way too much space! And thank you to the ice cream hoarders for leaving a sufficient supply of blueberry cheesecake gelato, my frozen dessert of choice.
 
The poor pharmacy area didn’t have enough left to even be called a shambles. To shamble you have to have things strewn about. There was nothing to strew! Even aftershave was depleted I suppose for the alcohol content. (By the way, if you want to make your own hand sanitizer don’t use vodka. I don’t know how that started but it seems to be all over the internet. If you find yourself with some rubbing alcohol (70%) and aloe gel you can make your own hand sanitizer by mixing 9 parts alcohol to one part aloe. It will be thin but it will be the required 60+% to be effective. If you can find 90% alcohol you can use 2 parts alcohol to one part aloe.)
 
The cleaning aisles had given up anything that bears the word “bleach” on its label. This included Tide with Bleach Alternarive and other “color safe bleaches.” Hmmm. (This reminds me of something I overheard in Walmart if you don’t mind leaving the supermarket for a minute or two. “They use Dawn [dishwashing liquid] to clean those ducks. We’ll use it until we can find some hand stuff. Get a couple of the big ones.”)
I still had more shopping to do but I didn’t need anything in the baby or pet sections and I knew the bakery was going to be out of bread so I skipped that area figuring I have plenty of flour at home and yes, I can make my own if I have to.
 
I hope your shopping yields what you need even if it’s not all you want. Remember,  it’s nice to share.
 
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*Yinzer: One from or with roots to Pittsburgh Pennsylvania and immediate surroundings. Derived from the vernacular second person plural, yinz. Although yinzers (myself included) agree that “yinz” is proper Pittsburghese for gatherings of 2 or more yinzers, it isn’t a clearly articulated word. An outsider probably will not be able to identify it when heard by the uninitiated ear. Our speech patterns involve a lot of mumbling, slurring, and elision. Strict Pittsburghese maintains a subtle difference between second person plural groups of two (closer to yunz) and groups of 3 or more (full on yinz). It’s a ‘burgh thing. If you get bored during your self quarantine and would like to read more on how we talk in “Pixburgh”, go here: How to Translate the Yinzer Vocabulary.
 

It’s Super! Yeah, Right.

Michael Leave a comment
Just when you thought it was safe to go back outside.
This close to Christmas with yet a weekend still ahead of us it should be a time to stay indoors and finish trimming the tree, plan the big family dinner, tune up our voices for midnight mass, and venture outside only for snowman building, sledding, and ice skating. Instead there is one last suspense filled 24 hours. Super Saturday. Also, and perhaps more appropriately known as Panic Saturday.
 
I’m sure with apologies to the National Football League but not to American consumers, Super Saturday is expected to outsell Black Friday this year as it has in most recent years, bringing retailers 60% of the years holiday sales and as much as 40% of this year’s total haul at the hands of those clutching fast melting credit and debit cards.
 
It’s hard for the young crowd to picture it but once upon a time, with the notable exceptions of Spiegel’s and Sears, people had to go to a real store to shop, those stores were closed on Sundays, and without constant flood of email reminders shopping was often a last minute activity. The Saturday before Christmas was the last chance to finish filling out the kids’ Christmas lists. So even without the commercials, banners, and full page ads those Saturdays were already super for many stores.
 
I’m not sure what to make of this year’s edition of Super Saturday. There are 3 days between Saturday and Christmas which is one more than most carriers need for 2 day delivery. Will people take that chance or will in store shopping outpace on line shopping? Will Internet shoppers take the order on line and pick up in store option? Will Saturday night bring regret over whatever choices were made.
 
Or will the collective America decide its bought enough already and spend Saturday building snowmen, sledding down a nearby hill, and falling on their behinds at the frozen over pond?
 
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Skaters
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Yet Another End to Yet Another Era

Michael Leave a comment
Overly dramatic is just about the norm today. Television newscasts no longer report the latest news, it’s now “Breaking News!” even a followup from something that happened 4 days ago. Weather is no longer weather, it’s “Severe Weather!” even on sunny days (UV you know) and every storm gets a name. Every year, sometimes every month, brings a new “[Fill In the Blank] of the Century!” Movies are spectaculars, books are blockbusters, and when Hollywood speaks, everybody listens. So the end of an era is pretty much ho-hum. The retail world experienced an end of an era this week and believe me, this will not go unnoticed. 
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Philadelphia based Five Below operates over 850 stores in 34 states carrying an odd assortment of electronics, toys, games, gadgets, t- shirts, and novelty items loosely targeted to teens but shopped by all generations. In an early corporate press release they called themselves the “Five and Dime for the iPod Generation.” The five here though was not the nickel F. W. Woolworth was after. It’s the paper five featuring Honest Abe’s countenance. The common thread holding their disparate inventory together was the price point – everything retailed at $5 or less. 
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Monday November 18 all that changed when in a statement the company acknowledged they’ve been pricing items up to $10! Certain tech gadgets they’ve increased prices on are now featured in a separate section called “Ten Below Tech” and everything else ranging in price from $5 to $10 had been lumped into the “Ten Below Gift Shop.” It doesn’t seem like much. Surely there would come a day when suppliers who keep raising wholesale prices outpaced Five Below’s defining pricing philosophy, although Dollar Tree still manages to cap their inventor’s price point at a buck a piece. But here’s the thing, the name isn’t changing. It’s still Five Below. Hmmm. It’s bad enough when certain so-called dollar stores claim to be “dollar stores” because all their products retail for at least a dollar but I always thought Five Below was above that sort of consumer manipulation.
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imagesDollar stores, true dollar stores or their first cousins the 99 cent stores, would never let you down like that. I remember once being in a dollar store, turning the corner and finding an end cap filled with mini-blinds. You know,  those things that cover your windows and might sell from $6 to “woah that’s a lot!” in your typical home improvement store. I don’t know what got into me but I stopped a passing store employee and ask how much they were. “What’s the sign say outside?” came the answer. “If the sign says everything’s a dollar then everything’s a dollar.” Who can argue with that kind of logic. I picked out 4, brought them to the check out register, paid with one crisp (or maybe worn, that was a while ago) $5 bill, and got change back. Now that’s the way to run a business. 
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I suppose I’ll still stop at the local Five Below whenever I pass by to see what new things are on their shelves. I just have to remind myself not to expect much change back anymore.
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No Business Like Shoe Business

Michael 2 Comments

Have you ever had a day when to want to say something but are sure it will unwarrantedly ruffle someone’s feathers? You don’t mean to. You really just have a thought you want to express but, particularly in the now when every thought, let alone action, regardless of intent is either forgiven or vilified depending on the political affiliation (real or perceived) of the thinker and/or actor, you hesitate. So I’ve been very concerned about bringing this up but I just can’t hold it back any longer. Where the hell are all the brown shoelaces?

I don’t need new shoelaces right now but there is a pair (are a pair?) (no, is a pair) fraying and will surely and shortly break. I’d like to be proactive and have the replacement on hand if not actually on shoe before that happens but I can’t find laces for brown dress shoes. White for athletic shows yes. Hundreds of any length and thickness imaginable. Thick black laces in lengths clearly for boots most probably fitted with steel toes are everywhere. Those rawhide looking things for hiking shoes hang on racks by the score of scores. Some places seem to begrudgingly devote a hook, maybe two, to black laces appropriate for dress shoes, but brown…um, nope. Not out there.

I think it started with Casual Friday. I never understood that. Why should somebody making an appointment with a banker, broker, car dealer, or human resource manager on the last day of the week be made to feel like the appointment maker has already started on his or her weekend? Why do Tuesday appointments get treated more formally than those who scheduled on Friday? I guess others felt the same way because it seems there is no more Casual Friday. It is now Casual Week. (I think I also once mentioned an off shoot of this. That is, why everybody who has anything remotely to do with medicine now feels the need to wear scrubs. If I hit the next billion dollar Power Ball jackpot and feel the urge to endow a hospital nephrology department, I do not want to meet with an administrator in a Looney Tunes scrub top to discuss my multimillion dollar gift. Just putting that out there.) Anyway, that’s how it all started – when men shed their suits and ties.

Women can be just as casual but a woman knows there are times when “dress” means more than the garment. And still have them in their closets. The garments that is. (That are?) I am certain if women’s dress shoes required laces there would be sufficient stock from which to choose.

BrownShoesI guess we men just lost our will to dress up. And stores responded. The Men’s Department yielded space to The Active Male, Sports and Leisure, and You’re Only as Young as You Feel departments. And the space they gave up used to be occupied by shoelaces for dress shoes. Even brown. Well I want it back! I want that space that used to hold tie bars and pocket squares. I want a belt that isn’t reversible. I want shoes that need polishing. And I want brown shoelaces!

I sincerely apologize for feathers that have been ruffled and trust this won’t result in some social media frenzy. But one last thing … if you should happen to have knowledge of brown shoelaces appropriate for a men’s dress shoe with 4 eyelets please email me their location. I will not share your information.

Thank you

 

Day to Day

Michael 2 Comments

Shhh. Come closer. I have something to tell you. Today is Monday. That means you have the best chance of any day of the week to not be scammed. Good news, no? But don’t say anything lest the scammers find out you don’t fear them today and they start making Mondays their new Friday. Yeah, that’s the day you are most like to fall prey to the con.

Can you believe somebody actually gets paid to research this stuff? In some way it is interesting. There is a “best day” for just about anything you can imagine. The best day to shop at a thrift store is Monday. That’s what the experts say. The logic is that people have yard sales on the weekend and what isn’t sold often gets donated or consigned to thrift shops and second hand stores. How can you argue that? Except … those stores aren’t taking items in the back door and putting them directly on the sales floor. The have to be sorted, tidied, priced, then hung or displayed. Maybe Tuesday would be the better day. Or maybe it’s Friday so the store can make room for the wave of incoming merchandise next Monday.

How about the best time to post a photo on … wait, I’m sorry … the best time to post an image on Instagram? Yes, there are hundreds of experts who say without a doubt it is Wednesday, preferably at 2am or 5pm. Except for those experts who tell you the absolute best time to post is Thursday at 2pm. I might be more inclined to agree with the 2 in the afternoon people rather than the 2 in the morning people but that’s just because I believe the best time to sleep involves that coveted 2am hour. But then maybe I’d rather take heed of the experts who claim the best time is Monday at 8am. That would work especially well if I want to post photos, err, images of the stuff I’m picking up at the Goodwill store.

While you are out shopping and snapping pictures on Monday, mentally get your resume together because if you are thinking of applying for a job on line the best day is Tuesday, specifically at 11:30 in the morning. I’ve been looking for a little part time job to stave off the boredom of the lifestyle of the poor and unknown and now I know why I’m not getting any nibbles. In the true fashion of Willy Nilly, I have been applying whenever I see a job post that interests me.

BracketDaysYou’ll notice nobody has yet tapped Wednesday as a best day. That’s because they know you’re going to be busy buying shoes. Oh yes, there is an expert who has determined the very best time to buy shoes is Wednesday in late afternoon. No reason was given for that particular day but it is said that is when the deals are and the afternoon is when your feet are at their biggest because you’ve been on them all day. No word about those who have desk jobs or work the night shift.

Obviously you can’t buy shows every Wednesday so on those when you are sitting around rather than standing about to get your feet in shape for that shoe shopping spree, feel free to post something on Twitter. Yep, Wednesday afternoon between 4 and 5 is the best time to be noticed and maybe even get retweeted. Yippee.

If you are wondering (and why wouldn’t you be?), I was not able to find a best day of the week to have a vasectomy. For once experts agree that elective surgery in general has less negative outcomes when performed on Monday or Tuesday. It is claimed that because the recovery for a vasectomy basically amounts to hanging out on the couch and doing nothing for a few days, more vasectomies are scheduled right before the NCAA basketball tournament than any other time. I’ve never been able to track that “fact” back far enough to disclaim it didn’t start with those who broadcast said tournament but just in case it is in fact a fact, and considering the tournament starts tomorrow, and if you are missing your male companion today, you might want to get an ice pack ready.

And they say that Monday is the day not to get conned!

Shopping Math

Michael 9 Comments

It was the approaching the mid 1960s and I was nearing third grade in elementary school. Rumors began circulating around town that the school would be moving to “New Math.” We who would be the beneficiaries of such a momentous shift saw it as a bright star in the heavens of learning. Particularly those of us with older siblings who would gleefully taunt us with “wait till you have to learn long division!” Ha! We showed them. Arithmetic is dead. Long live new math!

Yeah, well, that’s why I spent 25 minutes in the toilet paper aisle Sunday afternoon trying to decipher Ultra Strong Mega Rolls and come up with the best buy for my cash challenged paper products budget. I might have once aced the exam on the difference between a number and a numeral but that didn’t help while I was trying to mentally multiply 348 sheets times 9 rolls divided by $9.45 all the while having visions of bears singing about how wonderfully clean their charming toilet tissue makes them feel.

tpIt doesn’t help that there are no federal guidelines for bathroom tissue roll sizes. Double, triple, giant, mega, mega plus, and super were the adjectives in use in that aisle but even when used by the same brands, the same moniker did not represent the same number (numeral?) of sheets per roll. One package of Mega Rolls boasted 308 sheets per roll while another claimed 348 sheets per roll. Double Rolls had either 148 sheets or 167 sheets. None of that made it easier to figure out if 9 rolls for $9.45 was a better value than 12 rolls for $11.45. New math said “x is greater than y when the intersecting sets represent the lesser value of the total compared to the greater value of the sum of the variable(s) represented by the equation,” but old arithmetic said “Hold on there, Baby Bear. That’s not just right.” (If you are trying to follow along without a program, although everybody used it as a basis for comparison, I never found a roll claiming to be “Regular.” Not a good thing not to be amidst all that toilet paper.)

By the time my daughter entered third grade I was happy to see basic arithmetic had returned to the school curriculum and I could look forward to having help balancing my checkbook. Unfortunately even old math was not her passion and anything other than straight addition, subtraction, or division by ten was, though not a challenge, not actively pursued as a Sunday afternoon diversion. And so, now these many years later, I was left standing in the toilet paper aisle pondering if I would rather have “ultra soft” or “ultra strong,” whether the shape of the package would fit in my closet, and finally just going for the greatest number of sheets per roll figuring that equals the fewest number of times I’ll have to change the roll on the holder.

Satisfied I made the most logical if not the most economical choice, I checked my shopping list for the next item up. Hmm. Paper towels. I have to start shopping with a calculator.

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Memo to self: Rerun this if stuck for a post on August 26, National Toilet Paper Day. Really, August 26, not the first Tuesday following the first Monday in November. Who knew?

 

 

More is Less

Michael 2 Comments

It is said everybody has a number. That might be a number of dollars to commit an otherwise distasteful physical act, or a number of times the car stalls before you break down and finance a new one, or perhaps the number of proposals before you finally say yes. For me it was the number of ways to prepare avocado. And the number is 73.

Seventy-three ways to use an avocado was the subject line on the email. A trusted food magazine’s daily email with a new recipe, a reasonably thought out kitchen hack, and some cutesy new way to do something you’d not previously considered like perhaps how to juice concord grapes at home, had with that one subject crossed the line into click bait. And I wasn’t biting.

It was one thing to occasionally sneak in 5 ways to use a watermelon or six flavors to make your coffee. I’d gladly scroll my way through a half dozen ways to spice up my morning caffeine dose. But everybody knows there are only three things you can do with an avocado – chunk into a summer salad, spread onto a wrap, or turn into guacamole. Anything else is a pathetic attempt to create relevance or justify buying a Tesla. See avocado oil.

CensoredWhile we’re talking about Facebook (I did say click bait), did you hear about the spat going on between Dutch tourism and the harbinger of all things questionable? Apparently the Visit Flanders tourist bureau would like to advertise their museums on the site but because the video they prepared includes shots of paintings by Rubens, the site usually not known for decorum refuses to allow the video to post because Rubens painted, er, nude models. It seems the number for Facebook is 1/4, as in the number of inches wide the shoestring covering the nipple of a spring breaker frolicking on the beach must be to make the post “decent.”

Another number that seems to be is 29. As in dollars spent to be free. Once Wayfair was the only site that blatantly barked “the shipping is free” in their ads but it wasn’t unless you spent a minimum amount, theirs being $50. Not to be outdone, etailer after etailer is including free shipping as one of the perks of shopping with them. It just doesn’t happen to be completely free. Shipping charges still show up at checkout sometimes with a little note saying how much more you have to buy in order to qualify for free shipping. Usually that number is 29 less whatever you have already committed to your purchase. Completely free. At least they tell you how much free costs, unlike the infomercial people who will double your order for free. Just pay a separate fee.

So, what’s your number?

It’s Beginning To…

Michael 4 Comments

I was out shopping yesterday. Shopping is probably overstating it. I went out to pick up a prescription so it wasn’t like I was planning a spree complete with breakfast out, a break somewhere around mid-day, and tea and scones before wrapping things up and heading home with my packages. My plan was to pour the rest of the morning coffee into a travel mug, shoot down the road to the pharmacy while sucking down the leftover sludge, run past the drive up window to retrieve aforementioned prescription, then head for home where fresh, follow up coffee should be ready for the next cup.

That was the plan. And it would have worked if there hadn’t been a 3 car line in the drive through. Blame it on the rain. So I pulled into one of the every spot open in the lot spots, reinforced myself with an extra glug of caffeinated dregs, and headed inside.

I could have still stayed close to my original plan and been home before the car heater had a chance to actually heat except for the aisle that I had to walk through to get to the prescription counter. The seasonal merchandise. And the season of the hour is …… Christmas.

I can’t help it but I am a Christmas Junk Junky. If it sparkles, I will stare at it. If it blinks and flashes, my eyes will follow it. And if it has a “Try Me!” button, I’ll try it. It doesn’t matter if it’s a multicolor LED light set, a winter scene in motion snow globe, or a plush flamingo singing “Santa Baby.”

SantaBabyI must have bought the last one of those 6 or 7 years ago because I haven’t seen one since. Yes, I’m the one who’s one aisle over pushing all the buttons and laughing like I’ve just seen A Charlie Brown Christmas for the first time. (That reminds me, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown will be on ABC this Sunday at 8.) (In case you were wondering.)

I know, for the last 6 years I’ve harped on how stores rush every season, unveiling this Christmas’s hottest toy before last Easter’s leftover remote control hopping bunny can make it to the clearance bin, but all is forgiven (temporarily) while I read the cards’ inside inscriptions or check out the dancing Santa and elves. If Christmas brings out the kid in us, it does doubly so on me. In me?

Then I realized I hadn’t even bought Halloween candy and came to my senses. As long as I was inside the store I picked up a little supply of candy for next week’s treats. I rarely get trick or treaters where I am but just in case I wanted to have something on hand. Besides, the Halloween stuff is such a great size for when you want just a bite. But it will never beat red and green M&M candies in a motorized nutcracker dispenser. Um, yeah. I got one of those, too.

 

Sunday Funday

Michael 5 Comments

Now that football season has started I must be more selective about shopping days. The local college fans aren’t so bad, but I have to remember, don’t go to the store on Sunday before a football game. Those people are nuts!

The closer to kick off the more desperate the die-hard fans are to get their share of the game goodies home to the buffet before the rest of the tailgaters get there. Buffet might be a bit ambitious.

These folks have carts with nothing but nuts, chips, salsa, pretzels, those pre-arranged shrimp rings, football shaped chocolate chip cookies, cupcakes decorated in team colors icing, pre-cubed cheese, and sausage. Lots and lots of sausage.

And they don’t wear clothes. Not real clothes. The women are wearing halter tops, and short shorts, and things that wouldn’t pass as cover ups at the pool. Men have shorts, team logo baseball caps, flip flops, and replica jerseys. Everything is color coordinated to the home team and everybody wears sunglasses.  It is October isn’t it? Now, to be fair about it and so you don’t think that I live in a town filled with chauvinistic stereotypes, I did see one couple that she was the one dressed in a jersey and he in a muscle shirt which could be the male version of the halter.

If I had shopped with a list on Friday I wouldn’t have even been in the store on a weekend. But I didn’t and if I wanted breakfast this morning I had to run in for eggs. I thought I was going to be in trouble when I got inside the door and there were no shopping carts. Just needing a dozen eggs meant I didn’t have to have a cart but it was significant that there were none to be had because the parking lot wasn’t particularly full. That meant that each couple in the store had two carts. One for the aforementioned munchies and one for the beer.

It was also significant in that grocery stores always site the dairy section in the complete opposite corner of the store from the entrance. In order to get to those eggs I was going to have to do my impression of a running back picking his way through the line looking for that opening that will lead me to my goal. Once I made it to the egg case I had to tuck that carton in like I was protecting the ball as I turned for open field and bolted for the checkout lines.

Ah the checkout lines. Never get behind people wearing replica football jerseys in the self-service checkout line. Picture the conversation between the referee and a head coach who did not get the call go his way after a lengthy replay timeout. That would be mild compared to the discussion between pseudo-quarterback and the electronic cashier’s disembodied (and dispassionate) voice. In fact, I should remove those parentheses because I think it was the repetitive “please remove all items from the belt and try again” in the calm, dispassionate tone that had him really riled.

Eventually I got myself home with my dozen chicken eggs and a proper breakfast will be had. I have a feeling that a lot of my fellow shoppers will be having aspirin and lots of black coffee for their morning meals today.

Boy am I glad that we hockey fans aren’t like that.

 

I Got Nothing

Michael 7 Comments

When I sat down to write this post I realized that I really didn’t have an idea for this post. Not that I had one and forgot which I’ve done and have written about. Not that I had a bad idea for a post which I’ve probably had more times than not but wrote about anyway. Not that I had an idea but had written about several times already and even I knew that one more time wasn’t going to be a good idea. No, when I say I really didn’t have an idea, I really didn’t have an idea.

It’s been a decent enough week. I’ve felt well so I used some of that energy and did some shopping. Most of the time a good shopping trip will end up with fodder for a good blog post and sometimes just the act of shopping ends up blogworthy (which I’ve also already written about fairly recently). This week’s shopping was pretty much that. I went shopping. Bought a couple of shirts, some kitchen stuff, a canister of that newfangled spray on sun-screen. But it was all fairly normal. No weird sales signs, no clueless sales clerks, no inappropriately dressed fellow customers. Well, there was that one lady in the bathing suit with a cover-up masquerading as clothes. How could I tell there was a bathing suit under what outwardly appeared to be a cover-up? Maybe the dripping water that trailed her like an ill-trained puppy. But since I’ve done more than a couple of posts on fashion rules for the real world I couldn’t see putting yet another together at the expense of the nonfashionista and her screaming need for attention.

Since the last post I’ve spent a lot of time at the pool. I’ve switched from morning walk to morning swim at least on non-dialysis days for my exercise. In fact, it’s worked out quite well for me. Last summer, actually last summer, last fall, last spring, the summer before last, and so on and so one and etc. I’ve spent most of my exercise energy on walking. Also covered in several posts. But since I’ve started on dialysis I’ve been slacking on the sidewalk shuffle. If you’ve never had dialysis I’ll add in my prayers tonight that you never have to have dialysis for one of the things they don’t tell you when they stress that you’ll only spend 7% of your week on the machine is that you spend about 40% of your week recovering from that time. Walking just a mile or two the morning after dialysis isn’t just out of the question, it’s not even a question. Period. But swimming seems to be a different animal. I’ll swim a lap or two then climb out of the pool and rest in a comfy lounge chair under the morning sun. After a few minutes rest (ok, after about 20 minutes rest), it’s back in for some water calisthenics. More rest, more laps. More rest, some wading. I get exercise and a killer tan without having to stop for a rest when I’m a quarter mile from the nearest park bench. But hardly blogworthy.

And we’ve had Father’s Day. It’s the rare holiday that goes by without a mention of it by me. I’ve even invented my own holidays just to get a post idea. Maybe not invented but certainly given more weight to National Name Tag Day than even its proponents did. But everybody knows about Father’s Day. Not much I could add to it. I could talk about my gifts but they wouldn’t hold your interest as much as mine. I could talk about dinner and the fabulous glaze we came up with for the grilled salmon but then when the cook book comes would you still buy it? Or I could talk about how we narrowly escaped the severe weather than muscled its way into the festivities just as the grill was cooling. But how many weather posts can one blog present?

No, I just have to own up to up. I got nothing. So if you were expecting to find something here to pique your interest, go to the search page and plug in your desired topic. Chances are you’ll get something back. Till then, I’ll try to work on something more substantial for Thursday.

Have a great week!