Selfish Is…Deuxième Partie

March 30, 2020Michael 6 Comments

Was is just 4 days ago I posted a sort of breezy, lighthearted look at our new normal? (Surely you remember the new normal way to make a frozen cappuccino at home.) Unfortunately the weekend brought us back to lots of the old normal of name calling, blame laying, and old fashioned selfishness.

As more and more cities, counties, and states across the US and many other countries are falling under shelter in place orders, this from the letters to the editor section of the local paper is an example of what is unfortunately becoming a common response:

Once again, we are sacrificing the future of the young for the sake of the old. We could, at considerably less cost, attempt to keep the economy functioning at a high level, and safeguard seniors.

People over 70, and all those at high risk, regardless of age, should be banned, not encouraged, from leaving their homes. Resources should be made readily available to them: free delivery of groceries, medicines, even alcohol. Old people love “free.” They even exercised when Silver Sneakers was introduced, so I’m sure most would go along with this in an effort to save the country.*

More than other comments that follow every online article about the impact of the novel corona virus this letter struck me as a particularly insensitive read. I don’t know if I should preface this with “oddly enough” but oddly enough in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, my home county and that of the letter writer, those over 65 testing positive with COVID-19 account for only 14% of the total, and the 25-49 age group made up 45% through Sunday, March 29. Perhaps the young adults also need some risk mitigation.

The writer’s cut-off age interested me. How did 70 become the magic number? Is that how old his or her parents are? Or grandparents? Is that the age the letter writer thinks is the average American’s life expectancy so anybody over that is in bonus time anyway? The average life expectancy in the U.S. is 78.7 years. Pennsylvania is a little less friendly to the elder crowd with an average life expectancy of 78.3 years. Perhaps the writer knows Allegheny County is stingier still with a 77.9 year expectancy. Still that is many years from 70. Maybe the writer is willing to sit at home for 7 years and 10 months now to get a head start on … on what I’m not exactly sure. (Life expectancy data generated by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.)

I have to admit I smiled a little at what the letter writer must think are the greatest concerns of our senior members of society – “grocery, medicine, even alcohol.” Is that what we are considering the new necessities of life? What, no free delivery of the TV Guide or People Magazine? Perhaps he or she should pick up a Bible. Whether in Matthew or Proverbs or Deuteronomy there are plenty of references to man not living by bread alone. Are the septuagenarians and older never to be allowed to worship as they wish? I suppose we dispense with their freedom of religion, not to mention that of speech and assembly. We will give them plenty of freedom of fear though. Oh, it’s supposed to be freedom FROM fear. My mistake. But hey, you gotta love that “even alcohol” tucked in at the end of the writers list of necessities. “With alcohol all things are possible” is the new battle cry, right after “wash your hands” or maybe “drink heavily and lick your hands.” I’m wondering if that might a window into our writer’s personal wish list of essential items he or she is having difficulty securing during our time of sheltering in place. The virtual happy hour is not so happy when you all you have left is the company and conversation.

But then the writer wants to take away company and conversation. He or she wants the oldest Americans “banned, not encouraged from leaving their homes.” Although the CDC is in fact encouraging seniors and those most vulnerable to remain indoors as much as possible, all health experts agree that isolation is itself a deterrent to healthy living. Valtorta and Hanratty* conclude “Lonely or isolated older adults are at greater risk for all-cause mortality,” and “The effect [of loneliness or isolation] is greater than that of other well-established risk factors for mortality such as physical inactivity and obesity, and comparable with cigarette smoking.” Clearly this is why among the list of permitted out of home activities (grocery shopping, medical appointments, and such) exercise is included.

The writer also seems a little confused about the cost of “free.” He or she singles out the Silver Sneakers program which is most often identified as a Medicare Advantage plan additional benefit available to Medicare recipients at age 65. I wonder if the writer realizes Medicare is not free. Even those plans on TV advertised as “zero premium” plans aren’t zero dollars. Those advertised premiums are in addition to the basic premium the government charges seniors. Medicare premium payments are withdrawn every month from the Social Security payment. In those odd instances when an individual receives Medicare but is not drawing Social Security benefits, a bill for direct payment is sent. (Something to keep in mind if Medicare for All mimics the current Medicare program. Free it isn’t.)

I’m most distressed over the assumption that we are “sacrificing the future of the young for the sake of the old.” What happened to “30 is the new 20,” “40 is the new 30,” “60 is the new 40?” There is no old, at least according the merchandisers there isn’t. Or wasn’t. “At what age do you begin to not care?” the cosmetics company asks. I suppose we should be asking, “at what age do you begin to not care about?” Considering that the 25 to 49 year olds are responsible for nearly half of the identified positive cases in the county should the under 18 group with less than 2% of all positive results be asking that largest group of infected individuals to be sequestered so the truly young’s future is not sacrificed for the sake of that of those older, even if those older aren’t what we might consider old? You know, geese and ganders and all that.

Over a spring weekend that saw nature act as normal bringing 17 tornadoes to the middle of America we need to stop following our own natural instincts and be better than normal. We need also to be nice. I could have been nicer myself and not used a few hundred words to disparage somebody’s Freedom of Speech. I’m sorry I wasn’t as nice as I want others to be. I’ll do my best not to let it happen again. Just not today.

* This is the complete, unedited letter, “Keep Seniors Home,” to the editor, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, March 30, 2020.

**Valtorta N, Hanratty B. Loneliness, isolation and the health of older adults: do we need a new research agenda?. J R Soc Med. 2012;105(12):518–522. doi:10.1258/jrsm.2012.120128

Welcome to 2013. Now Go Away

January 7, 2013Michael Leave a comment

Just because we don’t make resolutions until Spring is upon us (See Resolving to Keep it Real, Dec. 31, 2012) doesn’t mean we can’t be urged into encouraging others to change their behavior post haste. We’ve gotten to experience some horrible behavior that could fill an entire year in only the first week. And that behavior must stop.

We encountered the one that put us over the edge while we were coming out of the store and walking to our car, some 150 feet from the entrance. As we approached it, the anything but a gentleman sitting in the car parked next to ours, started beeping his horn. And then again. Longer. And then we saw why. His certainly long-suffering wife was behind us trudging through the cold and the slush with their packages. Apparently he felt it more prudent that he stay in the warm car while she goes into the store and buys his wares. He also felt it more prudent that he sit in the warm car rather than picking her up at the entrance. He knew she was done with their shopping. He was honking the horn at her. There was the extent of his chivalry. He honked the horn so she didn’t have to wander throughout the lot looking for him. Then to top things off, he let that car continue to sit in the parking space. The one that had a snow bank just outside the passenger door. When She of We said a bit too out loud, “He won’t even back out for her so she doesn’t have to climb through the snow,” the long-suffering wife said, “It’s ok. I’m used to it.” She shouldn’t have to ever become used to such rude behavior. So for 2013 he should resolve to figure out how to get along without her because eventually she’ll realize that also.

Other behavior we’d like to see not continued in 2013 is the media fascination with having to title all the news. No longer are they happy reporting it. Now they have to make up catch phrases to go along with it. So please, take your fiscal cliff and go jump off of it. Otherwise let’s at least have a little fun with it. Since we’ve either avoided it or fallen off of it depending on what analyst is babbling, it should no longer be part of the evening news’ scripts. But just in case it should sneak back into common parlance we propose the Fiscal Cliff Drinking Game. Every time you hear that phrase you must drink a shot then call your congressman.

Speaking of, and to, Congress, we’d like to see you go away. You’re not doing anybody any good. Make you’re next point of business for this session abandonment. If you don’t have the decency to put yourself out of work, have the decency not to lie to the American people about the work you’re doing. The “heroic” first vote to avoid the “fiscal cliff” saved the American worker about 20 cents for every $1,000 he or she makes in salary in what was supposed to be the temporary income tax increase. It did not address the $2 per $1,000 increase in social security and other federal taxes and fees that will be withheld per month in 2013. That means about $50 less per paycheck if your one of the average Americans getting paid every other week and if all those paychecks up add to $50,000 by the end of the year.

Finally for the fine men, women, and undecided in Washington please do not use 2013 to tell us how many jobs you’ve created. Unless you also own a company that employs legal American workers you can’t create any. Leave creating jobs to the business that actually hire, and pay, employees. Intern and housekeeper positions don’t count.

Something else we’d like to see go away are all those special parking spaces around stores and restaurants. We love our elder friends and neighbors. We’ve often said that anybody over 80 can do whatever they feel like. By then, they’ve earned it. (See Entitlement Program, March 29, 2012.) We’d like to see some of those parking spaces reserved for “Mothers to be and mothers of young children,” and for those picking up dinner to go, and even for those with Handicapped placards, turned into spaces for our Older Friends and Neighbors. The eighty-somethings who are still driving do it well, and they aren’t the ones cajoling their doctors into signing HP applications for their high blood pressure. Why should they have to walk 300 feet from the lot to the lobby? Let’s face it, if you’re just running in for dinner, you can afford to run from a few yards away, or bring one of the kids to run inside while you circle the block. So you’re a mother of young children. Being parents of former young children from the days when there were no such preferred spots we can tell you our best shopping trips were those with the kids left at home. Leave them at home.

Now that we are well into the 21st century, a time of unprecedented public protection against ourselves, we want to see the sale of sleds that cannot be steered or stopped stopped. You can’t by an extra-large, sugary soft drink in New York City but you can put four 7-year-olds on a plastic sleeve, push them down a hill, and wish them luck knowing at the bottom is a 4 lane roadway separated from the top by a dozen 45 year old oak trees. You can’t buy a lighter that takes at least three steps to ignite to start your grill for the safety of a child who may not understand that it isn’t a candy stick but you can buy an oversized Frisbee that sets the same child spinning uncontrollably on its downhill voyage over the same tree lined hillside. We love winter sports. Sledding, skiing, and skating make January and February bearable. But let’s do it safely. Nobody would ever put children on bicycles without brakes or a wheel that steers in April. Let’s say goodbye to the winter version and stop making children headlines on the evening news.

Do we seem a little cranky today? We’re sorry. Usually we are quite upbeat and make the most of what we have. Sometimes you have to take away to have better. These are some things we like to see taken away. Do you have others? Would you like to see Black Friday not start on Thursday? Is it time to make the baggage, premium seating, and boarding priority fees go away even if it does mean airfares go up? Can we stop with gas prices that end in tenths of a cent per gallon? Let us know. We can be cranky together. And then, that can go away too.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Entitlement Program

March 29, 2012Michael 2 Comments

We were talking the other day, at what age do you get to say, “Screw it, I’m old, I’m entitled.”

Please keep this in mind. Neither of us is wild about people who are selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, or anything else that screams, “Me first!” But we’re ok with our older neighbors taking what is really their due for a lifetime of putting up with the younger crowd. Even us.

If we were pinned down we think we’d say the magic number is 80. By the time someone gets to be 80 there isn’t much more you’re going to be able to teach them, show them, expect of them or that they’ll want to be taught, shown, or expect of you other than respect from you.

Today’s eighty-somethings have seen all the wars anybody can invent. An 80 year old today saw nuclear tests, nuclear threats, nuclear bombs, nuclear disarmament, and now nuclear rearmament. They’ve seen Europeans invade other Europeans, Asians invade other Asians, Africans fighting among themselves, and Middle Easterners drop a pair of skyscrapers on 2,700 innocent bystanders.

Today’s eighty-somethings have seen all the inventions we really need. They went from transportation by foot, by train, by car, by plane. They’ve seen air travel go from something special for the very few to something else for the very rude. They’ve seen entertainment go from the stage to the theater to the radio to the television back to the theater and back to the stage. They’ve seen communication go from telegraphs sent letter by letter, to telephones, to party lines, to private lines, to wireless phones, to cell phones, to texts sent letter by letter.

Today’s eighty-somethings are politically correct. Anything they have to say comes from experience, not from experts on television. If they want to call the President a bleeding heart or a fascist, a do-gooder or a no-gooder, a boom or a bust, they’ve seen them all and know exactly what he is. They don’t need to, nor should have to mince words. They don’t have time to be sugar coating anything but their breakfast cereal.

Today’s eighty-somethings have done it all with more class than their elders did because they had to and with more class than their youngers will because they can. And that’s real class.

No doubt about it. You find us a couple of eighty year olds and we’ll join them in telling the world, “Screw it, he’s entitled. And so is she.” It’s an entitlement program we can get behind. Even us.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?