What scares you? Are you like Franklin Roosevelt going about life fearing nothing but fear itself (which can be either all-comforting or all-encompassing depending on your particular bend)? Or are you like Charlie Brown troubled with real imagined fears (or imagined real fears) but most afraid of rejection by the Little Red Haired Girl? Or are you more likely to be afraid of those things that everybody else says are more afraid of you than you are of them (your fears, not everybody else)?

Well, fear no more about being besot with fearful fears and fearing nobody knows the fears that you fear.  Chapman University has released its 2016 List of Fears just in time for Halloween 2016 – or Election Day 2016 depending on that bend again. OK, it released it three weeks ago but it took me a while to find it. It took me two weeks to even realize it was out there to be found!

What I found when I found it is that it’s actually kind of frightening to think about some of the things people are afraid of. Almost 22% of those survey are afraid of the government using drones within the country’s borders. They didn’t specify what they were afraid of those drones doing, presumably just hanging out and watching. Nearly sixteen percent expressed a fear of technology, specifically “technology that I don’t understand.” If I was in that group I’d be in huge trouble. I don’t even understand how a radio works and we’re talking nineteenth century technology.

The order people give to fears also makes one wonder. More people are afraid of having property stolen (25.5%) than of being the victim of a violent crime (19.4%). So much for “at least you weren’t hurt; you can always replace things” being words of comfort to a break-in victim. Same goes for those who are just slightly less afraid of ObamaCare (It certainly has problems but I’m not sure how you actually can be afraid of it) and credit card fraud (both coming in at 35.5%) than having a loved one being seriously ill or dying (35.9% and 38.1% respectively).

But it’s Halloween. Surely ghosts and goblins are on the list somewhere. Ghosts, yes (8.9%), goblins, no. But zombies strike fear in even more people than ghosts do (10.2%). Yet even with all the recent bad publicity, clowns are the second least feared item on this year’s list frightening 7.8% of those surveyed (and coming in a whole percentage point higher than the fear of others talking about you behind your back – something I’m not afraid of at all since I’m sure most of you do as soon as you finish reading one of these posts).

So what was the one thing most feared by Americans? From over 1500 responses to 79 identified fears, Americans most feared not some natural disaster, not some man-made disaster, not even some supernatural disaster. Over 60% of Americans (60.6% to be as exact as the survey said), are most afraid of corrupt government officials. Now, if you’re living in Denmark you probably can’t relate to the thought of government corruption but then you still believe in the boogeyman.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

To see the complete list of fears, click here. Oh, go ahead. Don’t be scared.