Tag Restaurants

It’s a Pizza Revolution – err, Resolution

Michael 2 Comments

It’s still too early for New Year’s Resolutions for me.  If you want to know why, look back two posts.  However…if I owned a pizza shop I would be building a new bandwagon to hop on with a dandy.  Pizza palaces, parlors, purveyors, and other who have you’s need to seriously get hold of their coupons.

While cleaning out the old coupon keeper and unpinning overflow restaurant coupons from the coupon board, a myriad of pizza coupons bit the dust – expiration date speaking.  Besides the fact that it is remarkably easy to make your own pizza, it is remarkably hard to figure out pizza coupons.  Even the big national chains are getting into the “let’s make this so confusing that nobody will ever want to redeem our coupon or take advantage of our special” craze.  And that’s just plain crazy.

Let’s start with those national chains.  Two pizzas at $5.99 each.  What a deal.  Oh wait, only Monday through Thursday.  Still a deal.  And it comes with two toppings.  On two pizzas.  Now hang on.  Just to whom are they marketing this great special of theirs?  How often does a family of one want two pizzas?  How often does a family of four want two pizzas?  While we’re hanging out with that family, have you ever tried to get four people to agree on two pizza toppings?  Sometimes you can’t get one person to agree on two toppings!  So let’s cross the street to the other chain.  Any large pizza for $7.99.  But we’re back to two toppings.  Unless you want bacon.  Then it’s $12.99 for one topping.  Don’t confuse that with the “Any Pizza for $11.00” deal.  It all depends on do you want carry-out or order on line.  While we’re at it, do you drive to work or carry your lunch?  Sheesh.

Since those guys are no help let’s visit a local shop.  I have a coupon from one for a large pizza with one topping, a twelve inch hoagie, an order of breadsticks and a bottle of cola.  Too much for your family of seventeen?  Another shop has one large pizza with one topping for only $10.  If it’s Thursday you can get two toppings on that large pizza for the same $10.  And if you like that you can super-duper size it to five large pizzas with one topping for only $45.  You can use the savings for your co-pay at the cardiologist.

An interesting thing about these specials is that all of the coupons specify no substitutions and to mention the coupon when ordering.  Why?  It’s not like these are secret savings to special card carrying members of the “I Like Your Pizza Parlor” club.  These come every week in every newspaper, hard copy mailings, e-mail blasts, on the Internet, on their Facebook pages, and taped to the top of the box when you actually do order something.  Substitutions?  Who understands the offer to begin with!

Does it really have to be that confusing just to get a pizza?  Tell you what to do the next time you have a pizza craving.  Take four cups of flour, a cup and a half of warm water, two teaspoons salt, one teaspoon sugar, two tablespoons oil, and a pack of active dry yeast.  Mix the yeast in the water, add the sugar, let it go to town for 5 minutes or so.  Add half of the flour and all of the salt to the water.  Get your hands into it and slowly add the remaining flour then knead it for a couple of minutes.  Put it in a bowl coated with oil to let it rise for about an hour.  Shape it, put it on a lightly oiled pan, brush it with oil then top it with however many toppings you want.  Bake it at 400 degrees for 10-15 minutes.  After you finish your pizza, call your local pizza shop and tell them to stuff it.  And you don’t mean the crust.

Now, that’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

McYouWon’tBelieveThisOne

Michael Leave a comment

It was there for a while.  A little while to be sure, but to be sure, it was there.  Or they were there.  Those two words.  Those two words that are almost never heard at a fast food drive through window.  Thank you.  So rare are they that we were certain they had just been substituted by some unfamiliar phrase and thus we posted a page of translations one might find useful when pulling around to Window Number One (“The 21st Century Drive-Through Translator,”  May 8, 2014). Now, however, after a more recent visit to Drive Through Land, he is certain that those words, or lack of them, are iceberg tip zone.

It was a couple weeks ago that he was starved and needed something to eat and needed it fast.  Ahead of him he saw arches and pigtails and crowns.  Didn’t matter where he stopped, they were basically interchangeable.  He pulled into the first one and saw only one mini-van at the speaker.  This should be quick he thought.  Mini-van equals kids, equals kid meals, equals one-two-three ordering.  Wrong!

As he pulled behind the van and lowered his window he caught the sound of the lady ordering loud enough that she could have done so without the speaker set-up.  “…and a bacon ranch salad without the bacon.”  A pause presumably while she read the read-out on the speaker’s screen.  “Not a side salad.  A bacon ranch salad, hold the bacon.”  The response came through just as loud. “That is a side salad with ranch dressing.”  “No it’s not.”  Here is where he should have turned around and moved on to contestant restaurant Number Two.

Eventually the mini-van lady and the disembodied speaker voice came to an agreement of what kind of salad she was going to get (even though nobody really understands why these places serve salads anyway).  She pulled around to Window Number One and he gave his order which the headless speaker person totaled to $4.28.  He reached into his change cup, pulled out a quarter and three pennies, felt for a bill in his pocket hoping to snag either a five or a ten and was relieved to find a ten between his fingers, and made his own way to Window Number One, the very window where the mini-van was still stationed!

“…don’t ever change my order again like that.  If I ask for a salad I want that salad not a little side salad.  I know what you people make on those things.  Is that the phone number to call complaints to.  I’m dialing it now.”  And off to Window Number Two she went, probably misdialing all the way.

He took the now vacated place, the no longer headless voice repeated his total, and he passed over the bill and four coins.  The young lady in the window asked if he wanted his receipt, he said no thank you and waited for his change.  Instead of money she handed him his receipt (yes, the very one he said he didn’t need) and uttered those immortal words, “There you go.”  He continued to wait and when she didn’t get it he tried a verbal cue.  “Hmm, my change?”  “You gave me 28 cents,” she said.  “Yes,” he said, “but not with a four dollar bill.”

He looked up and saw that the mini-van was still at Window Number Two.  He wondered if the mini-van lady was ever a drive through worker.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Thank Your Local Businessman

Michael 1 Comment

Uploading a Thanksgiving blog post used to be easy.  Say thank you to the collective occupations that always worked the holidays – long before anybody even thought of Black Friday.  Those would be your firemen, hospital workers, police and paramedics.  Or…poke fun at those who think Black Friday is the actual holiday and Thanksgiving is an opportunity to carb up before the big race for the savings.  (You can see all of our serious and not so serious thank you posts by typing “Thanksgiving” into the search box on this page.)

This post is going to be just a bit different from those of years past.  This year let’s thank all of our small business owners for still toughing it up and being there with some of the items you’ll never find at the mass merchandisers. This Saturday is Small Business Saturday, an opportunity to support small businesses.  Except for some mega-mergers, aka takeovers, no business ever started out as a Fortune 500 company.  Every business was a small business sometime.  (Now that could make for a catchy little musical number, don’t you think?)  And every small business has something unique to offer.

Whether a local jewelry store, a fashionable private boutique, a corner bistro, or a used book store, it’s the small business that is to variety some of the spiciest of life.  Mind you, there is nothing wrong with patronizing large discount stores.  It just seems that these outfits all have the same stuff.  Even their private label brands are the same, just in different packaging.  If you are looking for a really unique piece of jewelry don’t go to whatshisname.  You’re going to have to find a real jeweler with real tools and real talent to turn your vision into a real present.  Looking for somewhere to take a break during Saturday shopping that doesn’t include “Drive around to the first window?”  Maybe that little diner that’s only open for breakfast and lunch is just the ticket.

In 2013 Americans spent $5.7 billion at small business retailers and restaurants on Small Business Saturday giving them a little of the Thanksgiving weekend shopping spree that started on Black Friday.  It took until the 48th week of the year but for many that was when their balance sheet could finally be printed with black ink.  Small Business Saturday was able to give the business owners something to be thankful for.  The deals you can get from them can make you just as thankful.

Yep, Thanksgiving used to be easy.  Burn a bird, stuff yourself with dressing, cram some cranberries, eat your sweet potatoes, veg out on the couch for a couple parades and football games, take a nap before going to bed, then call off on Friday.  Today you have to decide where to shop, when to shop, should you wait in line at Store A at 5 or go for the one hour guarantee at Store B at 6.  Now you have a new option to consider.  Put “shopping” on your to do list for Saturday and go back to taking Thursday and Friday off.  Go ahead, veg out on the couch for two days!  You’ll thank us for it.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Breach My Britches

Michael Leave a comment

We’ve talked about this before and people aren’t listening.  Or maybe they are and they don’t care.  After all, it’s their money if they want to give it away.  It just seems that it’s more the Average Joe and Josephine that are being bamboozled.  And just what are we talking about?  Call it what you will from the polite “breach” to the let’s-be-honest-about-this “theft.”  (And you’re probably figuring out that this isn’t going to be one of those breezy, happy go lucky posts today.)

So, here’s the deal.  Now K-Mart has joined Target and Home Depot and Michael’s and even P. F. Chang’s and Dairy Queen having had their charge systems hacked.  And what about all the other stores owned by the same companies?  If K-Mart’s systems have been compromised what about Sears and Lands’ End and Parts Direct?  Is our money in peril at these stores also?

How do we know these attacks are aimed at the little guys, the you’s and me’s of the world?  Look at the targets, like Target.  Not the sort of places Donald Trump patronizes.  Why us?  Because is seems for the good or bad, our demographic doesn’t pay much attention to our money.  We’re funny that way.  We might make sure our 401K is being matched but we willingly hand over our debit and credit card numbers to any retailer – brick and mortar, on-line, or phone.  It might only be a $10 purchase but it’s usually $10 we don’t have in our pockets and pull out a card for payment.  Stop and think about it.  When was the last time you used real money for gas?

So using money might help to fix things.  If there aren’t cards being used then cards’ information can’t be stolen.  But what about virtual stores?  You can’t stuff a $20 bill into a modem.  We used to use things called checks.  We would order something, send in a check for payment, and the store sent us merchandise in return.  Just like with money!  So you had to wait a few extra days but it beats spending days on end trying to convince the good folks at your local bank that you really didn’t go to Barbados last weekend and spend $2,400 on Jet Ski rentals.

If you think you’d like to get in on this new-fangled thing called money you better do it quickly.  It seems a number of banks are considering doing away with, and some actually already have done away with branch offices.  They could soon be no bank to go to get money.  We’ll still have ATMs but they aren’t any more secure than the stores’ money systems.  In fact, banks have already been hacked.  JP Morgan Chase may be the most recent, and affecting 76 million households the largest, but it’s not the first bank to lose our data.  (See list below.)

Where do you shop?  Big box stores, grocery stores, on-line? This year’s retail “winners” in the data breach contest are the thieves who hacked into Home Depot, Target, Supervalu, Neiman Marcus, Michael’s, E-Bay, and K-Mart.  Where do you bank?  There are too many of them that have been lost to thieves to even think about.  And when you think about banking don’t just think about your debit card.  Where are your credit cards issued, processed, and billed?  Who holds your investments?  Do you have retirement funds sitting somewhere?  And who will be next?  Insurance companies or utilities?

A poll taken by the Travelers’ insurance companies in July of this year discovered that only 23 percent of those questioned worry a great deal about identity theft.  Even though the past year has seen at least a half-dozen major news stories on significant data breaches, this number is actually less than those who worried a great deal about identity theft in May of last year (31%).

So come on now.  Join us and join the folding money brigade.  Do you know where your cash is?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

(To see our past posts on this topic please enter “Debit” into the search box at the upper right of this screen.  To see the real scary stuff, type in “Bank Data Breach” or “Retail Data Breach” into a search engine, skip the articles and go straight to the comments.  Scary, scary.)

The Top Ten Data Breaches per Bankrate.com (Data from 2013, does not include 2014 incidences.):

Target (affected 40 million card accounts and 70 million customer data for $1.5 billion)
Global Payments, Inc. (1.5 million card accounts for $90 million)
Tricare US Military medical insurance (5 million beneficiaries’ identities stolen)
Citibank (360,000 credit card accounts for $19.4 million)
Sony (100 million users’ identities stolen)
Heartland Payment Services, credit card processor (130 million card accounts for $2.8 billion)
Bank of New York- Mellon (12.5 million customers’ personal data lost during back-up transfer)
Countrywide Financial (17 million accounts downloaded by employee and sold to other lenders)
T. J. Maxx (90 million card accounts for $2.47 billion)
Veterans’ Administration (26.5 million veterans and active duty identities stolen)

Him again?

Michael Leave a comment

Today, a mini-rant.  We, as most of the world, are trying to make ourselves better people.  Persons?   We do good for our friends, neighbors and co-workers.  We give to charities.  We contribute to our local food bank.  We let trucks pull in front of us.  We’re nice people wanting to be nicer.  Isn’t everybody?

Two things nice people do are practice patience and exhibit tolerance.  Yet there are some folks that try even the most patient person’s tolerance.  These are the behaviors we’ve noticed again over just the past few weeks and the ones we can do without while we’re being nice to the rest of the world.

The clerk trying to make life easy for him or her and damn the customer.  Recently He of We was checking out at one of his favorite stores when at the end of the transaction instead of the computer cash register printer spewing forth the printed record of his purchases it made an awkward sound, shimmied a bid, then did nothing.  The clerk said that printer had been giving him problems all day and did He really want a receipt.  “Not if you’ll be available to stand up for me if I should have to come back with an unwanted item within 30 days and with a receipt.’’  The clerk then proceeded to repair the printer which apparently meant re-loading the paper properly.

The boss who gleefully reminds the workers who’s the boss.  Whether after a meeting, lunch, or a special celebration, there is a boss who will remain anonymous whose call to return to the business of taking care of business is “back to your holes and do something.”  Not a particularly well taken suggestion particularly when some of those being spoken to have windowless offices down a blind hall.  (That’s his good point.)

The guy who abuses the express check-out lane.  We’ve brought up this one before and we’re not talking about someone with 13 or 14 items in a 12 item lane.  We mean the person who pulls up a loaded cart with 30 or 40 items.  These people know the rules but they also know that the cashier isn’t going to say anything lest he or she (the cashier) ends up with an unsatisfied customer.  Instead, the overly patient cashier waits until the next person in line is up and apologizes for the inconvenience.

The party at the restaurant who continues to use the table for 30, 40, even 60 minutes after paying the check.  We’ve mentioned how we don’t wait for food and encourage everyone to practice table waiting restraint.  If it’s more than a 15 or 20 minute wait, there’s probably another restaurant nearby with the same menu.  Spread your wings.  What we never conjectured was that the waits are caused by people who consider their tab and tip admission to their table for the evening.  If you aren’t finished socializing after the coffee and deserts move to the lounge, a local bar, or somebody’s house for goodness sake.  (Thanks to Daughter of She for bringing up this brand of irritant.  She was waiting at a restaurant where the hostess told her and company of the reason for the wait.  That should have signaled the end of that wait!)

As we said, we’re trying to be nicer than we already are.  Can’t everybody?

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Real Restaurant Rules

Michael 3 Comments

It’s not often that we invoke actual rules for Real Reality Show Blog readers.  After all, real reality is what you make of it.  But last year was not a banner year for eating out.  We saw poor behavior by almost every facet of the restaurant industry from cooks to coat check attendants.  It was on New Year’s Eve that we finally had to say, “Somebody has got to take control here.”  And those somebodies are us! 

Last summer we found out that if we walk up to a hostess stand and there are three or more workers there, we should turn around and walk away.  We’re not certain but we think that two of the three may have been on their cell phones with each other.  Whatever they were doing they weren’t working on seating the next party.  Since there was then a lack of available seating there seemed little else for the hostesses to do.  Folding linen, polishing flatware, bussing tables, doing anything would have been preferred over just standing around in front of potential patrons waiting for a place to sit.  A tip for the front of the house.

Just a few weeks ago we found out that if you can smell the garlic as you are walked to your table, don’t order the scampi.  We did but She of We did anyway.  It wasn’t all that bad.  Sometimes it’s good to sleep on the couch.  And more and more we need to ask if al dente when applied to vegetables is a code word for raw.  It confuses our mouths when the broccoli is hard and crunchy and the pasta is slightly over done in that not quite mushy manner that happens when you over re-heat what you prepped earlier in the day.  A couple tips for the back of the house.

But by and large, our most disappointment came at the hands of those into whose hands we put our dining experience, the servers.  We’ve tried hinting.  We’ve left a tip here and there.  We’ve held tips back here and there!  We think it’s time for rules.  Real rules for restaurant servers.

                    Rule Number 1.  Tell us the specials when you greet us.  We hate when we are seated, given menus, asked for drink orders, finally decided what we want to eat and then have our server say, “Let me tell you about this evening’s specials.”  You can tell us but either we’re going to not listen because we want to remember what it is we decided on from the menu or you’re going to have to go away again while we reconsider our choices. 
                    Rule Number Next.  When you take our order would be a good time to tell us the chef’s favorite, your favorite, or if there is something everybody has raved about that evening.  It was at our New Year’s Eve dinner at a very fine restaurant with normally very fine food and service that our waitress insisted on telling us what she likes to eat for each course AFTER each course was served.  By the time the dessert menu came out we thought about just having her order for us.   
                    Rule Number Next and a Half.  Please taste what you serve.  Although we appreciate the honesty of “I don’t know, I never had it here,” we don’t appreciate the lack of attention to detail that you wouldn’t want to know everything there is to know about the food you serve.   We watch all the cooking shows but we still don’t know all the jargon or even all the food.  Is broccolini a pasta or a vegetable.  Or is that boccone?  Bocconcini is the pasta?  You can help us.  Robert Irvine would be proud of you.
                    Rule Number the One After That.  Pay attention to the table’s flow.  If we are still working on our appetizers, do not bring out the soup.  It was around Thanksgiving when the last thing we wanted was more turkey.  So we ambled over to a nearby Italian restaurant where we had the ultimate plan.  A smokey fonduta, a classic Caesar, some decadently cheesey pastas, topped off with a course of zeppole.  Heaven.  What we got was our salad first, the appetizer and entrée together, and we left without ordering dessert.  There is a rule (and not ours) that never should new plates be served until old plates are cleared.  Unfortunately like most speed limit laws that seems to have turned into a suggestion.  We were even willing to ignore the fact that the waitress reminded us at each table visit that it was her first night.  We’re actually the perfect couple to break in new staff.  We’re very low maintenance, rarely order off the menu, and generally tip well.  Then there are those times when even we can’t turn the lifelong served one into a number one server.  
                    Rule Next to the Last.  Know why you stopped by.  We are convinced that most wait persons have no idea why they stop back after serving a course to ask if everything is ok.  Well, that’s the reason.  It’s not to see if we’re enjoying ourselves.  It’s an opportunity to confirm that what we were served is prepared properly and as we ordered it.  The question should be, “Is everything as you expected?”  If you get the urge to tell us that you thought we’d enjoy it even though you always have it with chicken, please see one of the rules above. Something up there covers that.
                    Rule Last.  When you bring us our check and we decide to pay in cash don’t ask us if we want change.  If you were working at the mega mart and someone handed over a wad of bills for their groceries would you ask if the shopper wanted change?  Assume we want what is ours.  If you feel you have to say something, say, “I’ll be right back with your change.”  If we decide to share some of that with you, we’ll let you know.

So for the waitstaff workforce out there, there are our tips for you.  No, not tips, not advice, not veiled hints.  Those are our rules.  There aren’t hard to follow and those who do will be richly rewarded.  We have some favorite servers we don’t even wait for change from.  That’s a rule too.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Cleanliness is next to the scrambled eggs

Michael Leave a comment

Regular readers know we like to go out to eat.  We’ve mentioned it in more than a few posts.  Usually we also mention our likes and dislikes and usually there are more likes than dislikes.  Usually.

Recently we were at a national chain family restaurant.  To hear them say it, they are the ones who invented wholesome long before your great-grandmother thought of it.  They also invented hearty, healthy, hunger-satisfying, and home-style.  Unfortunately, they didn’t invent the dishwasher.

It was a Sunday morning, late enough that most of the after church crowd had already been through but early enough that the mid-day crowd hadn’t.  We didn’t even have to wait for a seat, and once we were seated behind the faux barn rails it didn’t take much time for us to make our choices.  And although it took a bit longer than it really needed for our choices to be turned into food, they should have taken a bit longer and washed the plates.  Yep, dirty plates.  Two of them.  Both served to She of We. 

She beckoned to the waitress and expressed concern over having to eat from a dirty plate.  At this point she had only been given one of the dirty dishes.  Waitress Lady told us that we shouldn’t be too concerned.  “They’re working back there with lots of grease you know.”  The rim of the plate was clearly soiled and She of We let Waitress Lady clearly know she’d wait for a clearly clean one.  So off it went – plate 1 of 2.  (Why is it that breakfast combinations always come on two plates?)   While waiting for a new Plate #1, Plate #2 came out and Waitress Lady hustled back to the back and was soon back again with replacement Plate #1.  Back she came just as She of We was scraping along the rim of Plate #2.  More former food residue.  “Can I have this redone also please?” and off it went back to the back.

Soon, much too soon, Waitress Lady was back again with Plate #2.  “I lifted up the pancakes and it looked clean under there so I put them on a new plate for you,” and she beamed the smile of one who had discovered penicillin.  As perhaps she had.

“Thank you,” said She of We, “but I’ll wait for new pancakes.”  (Which were remarkably tasty and fluffy when finally they did appear but that’s a whole different post.)

To make a long story even longer, after more excuses about all the grease they’re cooking with back there (there was nothing about lard on the menu but Waitress Lady has us wondering), we finally got clean plates, full meals, and a check.  The check was for the table next to ours but it was a start.

As we were on our way out the young lady working the cash register asked those ominous words, how was everything, and got to hear everything.  She of We was very polite and said the food was very good but she had to wait for all of her selections because they kept coming out on dirty plates.  And everything was a bit cold.  And we got the wrong check.  And the young lady asked us to wait and the manager was soon out and expressed his concern over our concerns with an immediate discount.

And even though it was a remarkably unremarkable meal, we’ll probably go back because we’re pretty sure that the manager was on his way to see the dishwashers.  Whether they deserved it or not, he probably gave them another chance.

And so will we.  

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Decisions, Decisions – and not the easy political kind

Michael Leave a comment

We’re in a quandary.  A friend, a local entertainer, an incredible talent, a vocalist who accompanies himself on the acoustic guitar played his first gig and a nearby lounge a little while ago.  He typically has played in venues that although aren’t far away, are far away enough that you check your gas gauge before you leave home for the evening. So we were quite thrilled when he wrote and told us he’d be no more than 3 miles from He of We’s driveway.

And drive away we did.  We had been to the venue twice before.  Once for a Sunday brunch they no longer do (which was very good), and once for dinner (which was beyond their capabilities).  In neither case was the service anything even approaching average.  It had been at least a year since we had been there so we were anxious to see what changes they had made.

They hadn’t.  But the evening was not a loss.  The food was bad, the service worse, but the entertainment was as first rate as we had anticipated.  We even introduced He of We’s daughter to the acoustic troubadour expanding his influence into the next generation.  The crowd was into his performance and applauded each offering (yes, we’ll say it) wildly.  But the food was so bad.  And the service was so worse.

What we will do if the restaurant brings him back on a regular basis? We don’t want to hurt his feelings not showing up when it’s not even a 15 minute drive, including lights, when we’ve driven over an hour to hear him.  But we don’t want to risk gastro-intestinal distress, possibly irreparable damage, if we have to subject ourselves to their idea of cooking once a month.  We can’t even feign enjoyment and pick our way through the one or two items nobody can screw up because those were the ones they ran out of early in the evening.  Even if they didn’t, we still have to subject ourselves to the worst service we’d seen since the Sixth Grade Washington DC Field Trip Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser.

We suppose we’re going to have to arrange to be out of town whenever he plays there (“Oh, we wish we knew you were there this week.  We had these airline vouchers we had to use before Monday and thought this would be a good time to see Guam.”), or car trouble (“What bad luck, we were on our way when of all things we couldn’t get the hood to go down.  We thought we could have backed all the way there but the nice police officer didn’t.”), or illness (“Hack hack cough cough sneeze wheeze sneeze.  We’ll make it.  We missed your last 7 sets there.  Well, if you really think you really don’t mind”). 

We don’t know.  Maybe gastrointestinal distress once a month might be good for us.  

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Careful Wishing

Michael Leave a comment

There is a place we’ve been going to for years and we still can’t describe it.  It’s actually a winery with a tasting room and bottles of their own stuff lining the wall to sale or build into gift baskets.  But it’s also a gift shop, maybe even approaching emporium with all the usual cute but questionable gifts that go with wine.  You know, the t-shirt with the picture of the corkscrew and the legend, “Screw this.”  It’s a picnic grove, a banquet hall, a wine bar.

But it’s also a restaurant.  One that has expanded a couple of times over the years that we’ve been going there.  It’s always had the exceptionally talented local performers grace its outdoor seating area or dining room.  The singers sing soft tunes perfectly matched to a light lunch on a patio in the European countryside.  Except for it not being in Europe, it’s always been a pretty good place to go.  They have good food, good wine, good entertainment.  What more could you want on a summer afternoon?

Yesterday we found out.  We hadn’t been there since last season and we knew they made more changes.  They added another indoor seating area expanding it to challenge a full scale restaurant.  And the outside patio had a new small stage for the singers.  Our favorite was there – in fact he was what brought us there the first time we visited this site – and we were looking forward to a fruit and cheese platter, a crisp Riesling, and a few hours of first rate solo entertainment.

We should have known things changed for other than the best as we approached the hostess stand and 4 young girls were huddled around it.  They seemed somewhat confused whether there were or not any outside tables available and we were advised to wander the gift shot while they found one.  No problem, we’d get a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses and hang out in the grassy area flanking their pavilion.  But no sooner had we gotten the wine paid for that Hostess #1 was at our sides with a table ready.  We left the plastic cups meant for perimeter use and headed to our table.  After 10 minutes of staring at our open bottle of wine, which He of We seriously considered guzzling from, a waitress finally appeared with real glasses and a promise to bring us a wine chiller for our bottle and to take our order.

To make a long story short, we were left unattended then for not the first time that afternoon and for long periods.  We were served a delicious salad on a plate that never made it through the dishwasher after its previous use.  We sat with empty water glasses in 85 degree heat.  We were left with dirty plates on our table from two courses.  And we never got the bottle chiller until the second bottle. (Actually we rarely order a second bottle but we were on a quest to see if there really was ice inside the building our waitress kept disappearing to.)

We wondered if we had brought this on.  When we first started going there it was very small, just a handful of tables outside the tasting room and the talent perched under a large umbrella.  We said many times in those early years that we wished the owners good luck trying to create a destination out of their little winery so more people could enjoy it.  We should have taken that old advice, be careful what you wish for.

As always, the entertainment was top notch.  But we can always find our favorite singer at other venues.  The food was very good.  But not incomparable.  The atmosphere was charming, but not unmatched. 

New this time around, the service sucked.  And that’s why we’ll question ever going there again.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Take a Tip From Us

Michael Leave a comment

You know we’ve been pretty good at expressing our dismay when dismay is appropriate for expression.  A favorite of ours is the loss of “Thank you” by clerks, servers, tellers, and other manner of people who take money from us.  We’re told to “have a good one” or sometimes just are greeted with an open palm, not even the price repeated to us.  (See Terms of Appreciation, January 23, 2012 and You Want Fries With That? December 12, 2011 for a couple examples.)

But when we’re un-dismayed we’re going to mention that too.  Since we’ve released those two posts upon the world, we seem to be getting thanked more often.  Drive thru attendants are telling us the amount due, taking our payment, and saying “thank you” when returning our change.  We still get “Have a nice day” and now we will since we’ve been appropriately thanked for our purchase.   It gives us hope that another peeve will soon be history.  

Once upon a time in one of our posts we revealed that when out dining, He of We always pays in cash.  The check comes, he gives it that quick glance to make sure we didn’t get charge for the flambéed cocktail for two served to the next table, calculates the tip, counts out the bills, and returns the little bill book to the table.  (And why do restaurants put their mini-statements into little black books?  That’s another post for another day.)  A few minutes later the waitress comes back, picks up the wad of cash, and says, “You want any change?”  Sometimes during the mental communication between Each of We that waitress gets a good tongue lashing.  We’d love to say “Of course we do.  We don’t go to the super market, pick out $4.00 worth of green peppers, get to the cash register, give the clerk a five dollar bill and hear her ask ‘Do you want any change?’” 

No other clerk or money handler asks such a question.  And it’s really funny because even when the wait staff is completely incompetent they still get some sort of a tip.  So waiters and waitresses, please tell us, why do you have to ruin a perfectly good evening out by being so selfish and rude?  Wouldn’t you rather say, “I’ll be right back with your change,” and allow us the opportunity to say, “Oh, no. whatever’s left is for you.”  Wouldn’t you feel better about that than stiff-arming your customers for a couple of bucks?

We’re all for change.   And most of the time, you’re going to get it.  Just give us the courtesy of giving it to you before you take it.  You might even find a bit extra in there.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?