Tag Quality

Second Class, All The Way

Michael 1 Comment

It was during the first week of November this year.  That’s when He’s mailbox saw its first Christmas card.  Just like other years it was from a fund-raising organization.  And just like other years it was indeed a real Christmas card.  Unlike other years it came seven weeks before Christmas – impressively early even by fundraiser standards.

We like Christmas cards here.  They’ve been bought and counted and soon will be signed.  Most will get a hand written note scrawled inside it.  They will be addressed and stamped and put out for the mailperson.  Not as many as in years past but all to the best of recipients.  The most deserving.  The crème de la crème. But none of that just yet.  Not until sometime after Thanksgiving, probably a couple of weeks into December.  Even at Christmas mail only takes a couple or three days to get just about anywhere.  That’s real First Class service.

And that reminds us…back in the day when our parents were sending out Christmas cards there was Second Class mail in the US.  What ever happened to it?   Way back then one could send a card or letter by second class mail.  It seemed the only requirement was that the correspondence could not be sealed.  In exchange for the risk of just about anybody reading your mail (not unlike a postcard), postage was a penny less than First Class mail.  That was when First Class mail was something like six cents.  Today’s USPS rate sheet doesn’t even include the words Second Class but there is something called First Class for Businesses that’s cheaper than retail (read “real people”) Frist Class at 38 cents versus 49 cents.  Hmmm.  We wonder.

Somewhere along the way the post office lost its way a bit.  They’ve lost their share of mail also but that’s not the point here.  It seems to us that whether its 49 cents or 38 cents or $5.75 (that’s for Priority Mail), it’s still a deal to get a letter to any address in the country.  The other guys charge at least $13.50 for two day service and they lose packages also.  Back to the post office, it has lost its way a bit.  Between some late deliveries and salary issues, and whether to deliver or not deliver on Saturday and the general ineptitude that comes from any government agency (they say they aren’t but they really are), some people are losing faith in the service.  But every year around this time more people are planning on counting on the USPS to send their Christmas greetings to the masses.  Not by e-mail, not by text, and certainly not at $13.50 a piece.  Nope, those cards and letters are going by the old stand-by, the post office.

Most of them will go out sometime after Thanksgiving, probably a couple of weeks into December.  With their flaps seals shut.  First Class.  All the way.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Children of the Candy Corn

Michael 2 Comments

Listen up everyone.  Today, as is October 30 of every year, is National Candy Corn Day!  And you thought you had to wait for the last day of the month for the only good holiday in October.

Candy corn is good stuff.  Butter, sugar, honey.  What more could you ask for?  Add some food coloring and a little more than an hour of your time and you have the ultimate fall candy.  Better still, hop on down to the grocery store and buy packs of the stuff in a little more than a minute.

Some of you reading this might remember making or getting home made candy and treats for Halloween.  Candy corn, candied apples, fudges, cookies, popcorn balls, and gooey nut clusters were classics where kids would memorize the houses for year to year gratification.  Then some psychopath decided it was a good idea to stick razor blades in apples and now all any self-respecting parent will let a child keep is whatever comes sealed by the manufacturer.

Today if you want home made you better hope that a very generous soul invites you to his or her (or their) house party. Or, bring back the traditions and make your own for your own.  Nothing wrong with that.  And you control the ingredients.  Perhaps a splash of rum added to the popcorn balls’ caramel paste or some bourbon infused marshmallows to hold the nut clusters together.  Maybe bobbing for apples in a barrel of Riesling.  Now that’s a party!

But back to the candy corn.  Yes it’s fall and yes the ultimate is chowing down on those little kernels usually before they even hit the candy dish.  But there is so much more one can do with these a-maize-ing treats.  Sprinkle them on your cupcakes like, well like sprinkles.  Let them play with your cereals either in your Rice Krispy treats or Chex mixes.  Add them to a batch of chocolate chip cookies.  Mix them with the peanuts before adding that whole kit and caboodle to popcorn and caramel for an even sweeter popcorn ball.

And finally, three words that will serve you well for the entire fall season:  Candy Corn and Prosecco.  It doesn’t get any better than that.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

More things that make us go “Hmm”

Michael Leave a comment

These were some of the things overheard or read over the last week that made us go hmm. 

An article released by the Washington Post discussed the rise of non-dairy milk products.  We’re not so certain you can call soy “milk” a milk product but we suppose it sounds better than “plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage.”  Anyway, in this article, the author contends that the plant-based products are the fastest growing segment of the dairy beverage industry segment.  In two years it has doubled its market share.  If you continued to read and did a little extra research you would find out that plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverages’ market share rose from 3% to 6%, a 100% increase.  Of course it’s the fastest growing segment.  It’s the only growing segment.  Every other beverage has already been at the top for a few generations.  If dairy-cow milk products rose a modest 10%, that would make milk’s market share 104%, clearly impossible.  Anything other than milk, the cow-type, is going to be the fastest growing segment.  Hmm.

That same article postulated why the plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage was growing at such a phenomenal rate.  Because it tastes good.  Actually it’s not the plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage that tastes good; it’s the flavored, plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage that tastes good.  We’re pretty certain that if you took the vanilla flavor out of the soy “milk,” it would taste much like a hot and sour soup without the hot or sour.  Hmm.

While reaching for a gallon of milk (cow-based), He of We overheard a man on his cell phone while standing in front of the creams, half-and-half, buttermilk, and other milk products at the store.  “Are you sure 8 ounces is a cup?” he was saying.  “There isn’t anything on the carton that says so.  Maybe I should get a big carton.”  A pause.  “Well if you say so, but if you run out don’t expect me to come back out here for more heavy cream just because you’re too stubborn to admit that 8 ounces might not be a cup.” Hmm.

Further on down the aisle, He was at the deli counter and asked for a half pound of Colby cheese.  The counterperson plopped some slices on the scale and it registered 0.45 pound.  “Is that close enough” asked the cheese seller or do you want me to take a slice off?”  Hmm.

In the television news there was a story about the rising cost of cooking out. Actually, it was about the rising cost of the food most of us put on the grill, that is, beef and pork. The story mentioned that the rising costs of beef and pork could increase the cost of a backyard cook out by as much as 20% from last year.   They made no mention of the relative cost of charcoal or bottled propane. They did suggest that to keep the cost of cooking out down we should consider not cooking out as much. We’re not certain because we aren’t the ones important enough to be on television, but it seems that if the cost of hamburger meat used to grill a burger outside went up, it also went up if you use it to broil that same hamburger inside. Hmm.

This one was heard on a radio commercial for vodka. It claimed that the advertised product is gluten free. Of course it is. The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics advices that all distilled spirits are gluten-free. It also seems to us that if you’re really required to worry about the gluten content of anything, who would be one diagnosed with celiac disease, you’re probably not going to be drinking much vodka, with or without gluten. Hmm.

We know that you can believe everything you read on the Internet (just ask anyone who works for the Internet). We suppose that goes for TV, radio, and newspapers, too. Hmm, we’ll get back to you about supermarkets.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Dat’s a Nice Burs

Michael Leave a comment

In the 1983 movie “Trading Places” a creepy man sits down next to Louis Winthorpe’s fiancé Penelope Witherspoon, points to her handbag and says, “Dat’s a nice burs,” which we believe translates to “that’s a nice purse.”  Very appropriate because Penelope was played by Kristin Holby whose daytime job was an Yves St. Laurent model.  YSL was big into purses in the early 80’s.  Actually, everybody was then.  And they still are now.

In was just this past weekend that our local weather turned bad enough that everybody who is anybody stayed indoors.  She of We took advantage of staying inside her doors by spending time with several of the home shopping channels.  She enjoys shopping on television, out of catalogues, and through the Internet and she has figured out the good, the bad, and ugly of no-touch purchasing.

It seems over this weekend all of the shopping channels were featuring — purses!  Not just any bags.  No these aren’t the $40 variety that a lady wouldn’t mind being seen with while at the same time wouldn’t mind when the local bus drives by too close to the sidewalk and the only thing between that geyser of water it just launched and the lady with the handbag is the handbag.  These are the bags that everybody will be looking for this season (as the shopping hostess will shortly proclaim) and can be yours for the one time, never to be seen again, super special price of only $327, or $109 in three easy payments.  The good – take advantage of that easy pay option.  There’s no interest, no extra charges, no hidden fees. That’s borrowing money for free!  The bad – that purse is over $300!  Even in free money that’s a lot of money.  Leave it on the screen.  The ugly – compared to the retail stores, that’s actually a good price.

When did purses get to cost as much as 1980’s vintage refrigerators?  With all the company monogramming and logo-ing on just about every offering, why are you paying them to do their advertising?  And the one we couldn’t resist asking, if you buy a $300 purse, how much could you possibly have left to put in it?

Another disturbing trend being broadcast on the shopping channels, in commercial spots, and as stand-alone infomercials is skin care.  We’re both old enough to remember when skin care was a jar of cold cream.  Today it’s a billion dollar business coming $100 at a time.  Serums and oils and creams made of fruits, vegetables, sea water, and the occasional cold cream base are everywhere.  For them to work their magic you must buy the whole set.  And the whole set runs well over $100.  But that’s ok.  Buy now and they are willing to charge you only $39.95 for that vital full kit.  But buy now and you are also agreeing to an automatic shipment of the whole kit every month at the regular price.  One hundred dollars of skin care products every month.  Now there’s a budget buster.

Watch out for more “too good to be true” deals out there.  Like, did you know that the gold dangling bracelet on the screen up there may be gold plated resin?  Someone out there is coating plastic bracelets, pendants, and earrings with a bit of gold and calling it gold plated jewelry.  It sounds good but do you really need a $90 plastic ring?  A great price for gold.  Not so great for fake.

We know every woman wants flawless skin, a nice bauble on her finger, and for someone to come up to her and say “Dat’s a nice burs.” Our suggestions are find a jar of cold cream, keep you purses under $50, and get the good jewelry.  Be a critical thinker before clicking away a few hundred dollars because someone is telling you it’s a good deal.  Don’t be a sheep.  Be unique.  Start a trend.  Buy what you need, not what someone else tells you that you absolutely have to have.  Now get out there and shop.  Or stay in there and shop.  It’s not going to snow forever.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Good News, Bad News

Michael Leave a comment

Regular readers will have noticed there hasn’t been anything to read for the past few months.  We have an explanation for that and some news to go along with it.

Our last post was on July 8.  It was that same day that He of We went into the hospital.  It should have been about a week’s stay with the next couple of weeks at home to fully recover.  As does much of the things he attempts, it didn’t go according to plan.

It wasn’t completely his fault.  He of We tried to recover.  Things just kept happening.  And before we knew it, July turned into October before he was back at home in front of the computer.  Four months in a hospital is not fun.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is next summer we’ll get to experience for the first time all that we might have this summer.  True, we missed several music festivals, music cruises, drives through the country, and rib tastings (honestly, never a high point for us anyway).  But they will be back.  They always come back.  Even the ribs.

There wasn’t one night spent in the hot tub pondering the heavens and wishing on the stars.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is we didn’t get at all vexed at any one of those stars for not coming through with one lousy little wish.  One would think with all the pondering and wishing (and a fair amount of white wine) that one of those celestial bodies would come through.  More good news is that by the time February rolls around and we get to spend a night in the tub under fluffy snowflakes, He of We’s incisions will all be healed and we’ll get to spend a night in the tub under fluffy snowflakes.  And we already have a decent supply of wine in the cooler.

There was no vacation, no trip to paradise, no well-deserved break from reality.  Not in the execution or even just the planning.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is we saved a lot of money.  Has anybody seen the price of airfare to the good spots?  Sure you can get a $79 flight to Little Rock.  With apologies to the Arkansans, there aren’t any white beaches there!  And with those dollars saved it was a perfect opportunity to sit back and work out a real budget and we’re sure that’s more good news than bad.

So exactly why did we miss our entire summer?  Well, He of We fell under the hold of the most feared of medical diagnoses, the one that starts with “C.”  We can’t even say it.  The best way to excise that which befell him was to excise it.  And there came a day when the surgeon came into the room and said, “I just got all the pathology reports back.  We got it all.” And that’s the good news.  We’re certain there isn’t a bad news side to that one.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

To Thine Own Art Be True

Michael Leave a comment

We recently spent a weekend being charmed and being charming at an absolutely charming spring wedding.  It was one of three wedding events we’re attending over nine days.  When it rains, it pours.

Fortunately, at this one, it did neither.  The sun shone over the outdoors ceremony and continued to the outdoors reception where the music was provided by one of our closest friends and one of the most talented individuals we know.  From ceremony through cocktails and into the dinner he charmed the attendees with his voice and music.  It was a pleasant addition to a delightful celebration.

On one of the other days of that same weekend we strolled the city parks areas in our town’s version of its annual arts festival.  Although it was pleasant, it was not delightful.  Of the almost two hundred artists selling their wares that day, we found a couple we had seen in the past whose works we enjoyed and found a couple new ones who might become favorites.  That puts about 98% of them in the “oh dear” category.  There’s a funny thing about artists, not everything they do is art to everybody.  And we think everybody is winning.

We love the arts and we won’t ever disparage someone from pursuing his or her dream.  Just realize that if that dream is taking vacation pictures on ‘round the world, tax deductible trips, we snap our own memories.  Or if the dream is a single vision in 42 sizes, few will want a collection.  It was unfortunate that these were some of the thoughts we had that day.

We missed a couple of our favorite artists.  Either they chose not to attend or were booked on some other days.  One is a charming lady who takes “local artist” quite seriously.  Everything she paints is local.  Cityscape, landscape, or still-life will be something you recognize but would never have thought of painting.  There is detail in her oil on canvas that those with a digital camera can’t find or don’t know where to look.   When one looks closely at her scenes it doesn’t take long to discover that almost every scene has her husband watching from inside.  Whether she is selling an original or one of her smallest prints, she’ll offer to include a personal inscription.

Another of our favorites not seen that day is on a mission to see that everybody who wants one of his pieces can have one of his pieces.  More than once we’ve heard him say to someone without cash in pocket, “Give me $10 and take it home.  Here’s an envelope, mail me a check.”  To those who can’t afford his work he says, “Pay me what you can every month, when it’s paid, it’s yours.”  He of We once asked if he ever regretted that.  “Never,” he said.  “Not even the one time someone gave me a ten, took my painting, and hooked me for the rest.”

And what does all this have to do with a weekend wedding.  It reminded us that Brother of She has that very troubadour booked for a party soon and is still waiting on his contract.  “You know me.  This is the part I like.  Being with the people.  I get around to the business part eventually but if I have you on my calendar, I’ll show up.  My word is my contract.”

That’s what we were thinking while we were walking the artists’ market and hearing the sound of nobody buying anything.  All the pieces were clearly marked.  All the catalogs and business cards were stacked neatly in the front corners.  But there wasn’t the passion that used to drive the artist who would stretch a canvas or test a microphone connection knowing that there might not be anything there now, but there will be soon.  Something very wonderful, very soon.

You have our word on it.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

 

The old man and the see if we can get him to pick up a fake hooker

Michael Leave a comment

“An 86-year-old widower on his way to pick up a headstone for his late wife’s grave was cited today for soliciting a prostitute.  Dayton police had a decoy out today in an ongoing effort to get johns off the streets, according to officials.  The man told police he was lonely, and that’s why he was looking for a prostitute. He was cited, but not arrested because police said they were worried about his age and the man’s depression.”  [whiotv.com-12:49 p.m. Thursday, May 2, 2013]

We would tell you more but that was all there was of the story.  There should be more!  It begs for more.

  • What kind of decoy does one use to entice an 86 year old to attempt to pick up the lady and presumably offer money for sex?
  • How long has the wife been gone?  Was this a newly needed headstone or one he had to save over many years to purchase?
  • Why was the man depressed?  Was he depressed because he was caught?  Because he misses his late wife?  Because when he found out just how much a happy ending cost nowadays, he realized he’d hadn’t yet saved enough for the headstone?
  • How did the decoy and her handler decide to target an 86 year old?  Was it close to the end of the shift and they hadn’t scored as well as they planned and said “screw it, he’s still a man; go shake your wahoo at his winkie and see what comes of it?”

Last year we proposed that by the time a he or she gets to be in his or her eighties that he or she is due whatever is gettable in exchange for a lifetime of putting up with the world. (See “Entitlement Programs,” March 29, 2012).  If an 86 year old wants to pick up a hooker his only concern should be that of his missus, dead or alive.  He shouldn’t have to worry that it’s a hooker cop.

It took some digging but we eventually found out that the man had only recently lost his wife of 55 years and his daughter as well.  When the decoy approached him he offered her a few dollars to sit and talk with him.  Apparently talk was all he has left since the cancer that he suffers doesn’t allow for sexual activity.

We said back then that today’s eighty-somethings have done it all with more class than their elders did because they had to, and with more class than their youngers will because they can.   You just can’t find a no-class 86 year old.  Why did someone in a position of authority have to try to out-class a lonely old man.  Maybe those police should have followed the example of Andy Taylor of Mayberry and makes themselves available to serve however is needed.

The real Andy Griffith said, “I firmly believe that in every situation, no matter how difficult, God extends grace greater than the hardship.”  Sometimes it takes someone down here to be the vessel of that grace.  Maybe that’s why some of the better ones get to hang around for 80-plus years.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Cymbaling Rivalry

Michael Leave a comment

Often enough we find ourselves reading articles in the paper about the death of a well-to-doer who leaves his or her fortune to the children.  Most of the time the children are well into adulthood but never outgrew the petulance of spoiled rich kids.  All too often among the often enough, the children left behind are unhappy with what they inherited.  They may not have been around for earning it but that doesn’t stop them from expecting it.  Battle lines are drawn, bad manners invoked, lawyers called, and siblings who had little to do with each other begin to publicly denounce each other claiming that Daddy planned on changing the will but just didn’t get around to it.

So it was refreshing that we read about a pair of siblings who didn’t resort to the courtroom to solve their issues and in the process created double the good stuff that the family was known for.  Refreshing, but sad for we learned of the story of these siblings on the death of the younger.

If you have ever been on the instrument side of a band – concert, jazz, marching, or garage – you have probably grabbed a stick and started tapping on a drum.  As your boldness grew, you aimed that maple rod and patted out a beat or two on the shiny disk delicately balanced on its stand.  And the tone was nothing like what you expected.  Chances are you just experienced your first Zildjian, or perhaps Sabian. Certainly one of the two which are the two biggest players in cymbal-dom.  In fact, Zildjian is so synonymous with cymbals that the name means “Son of a Cymbal Maker” and was bestowed on the family by the royals of 17th century Constantinople when the first of the cymbal makers discovered a metal mix that resulted in unequaled musical tone.  And for 260 years the Zildjians were the best at making what they made.

For almost all of those years the mantle of maintaining the family’s place in philharmonic peerage, and the family secret to make the alloy from what those shiny disks are cast, was passed each generation to the oldest son.  That was until Avedis Zildjian passed in 1979. He had two sons, Armand the oldest, and Robert who had been running the company.  It may have been because of Robert’s heavy involvement with the family business that Avedis did not leave the business, and the family secret, to Armand; rather he left them to both.  In keeping a bit of the tradition, he left controlling interest of the company to the elder brother.

Here is where in soap operas and the real reality of the 21st century that lawyers would be summoned.  Brother would stand against brother and destroy the work of generations and the joy of the masses.   But in the coolness that goes to show that brothers can still be brotherly, the two decided to split the company, Armond maintaining control of the Zildjian name and the company that bears it and Robert getting the family secret but not permission to use the family name to work his mastery at a new company.  That company would become Sabian. (Robert was still a strong family man and gave his new company his family name.  Sort of.  He came up with the name by taking the first two letters of his three children, Sally, Bill, and Andy.)     

And it went that instead of one brilliant cymbal maker, the world got two.  And instead of a divisive family battle with no one a winner, the world gets a lesson that rivalry, even the sibling kind, isn’t always a bad thing, it’s just a thing.  It’s just a shame someone had to die for that lesson to be learned.   

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Apology Accepted

Michael Leave a comment

It’s the first of the month and for us that means cell phone payment time.  In the past we’ve been known to complain about the lack of customer service we almost always get from banks, insurance companies, the cable company, and assorted utilities. Well we’ve discovered one service that we find quite customer-friendly.

Both of We have the same cell phone carrier.  We’re not ones to drop names but someone will ask and we’re quite happy with it so why not share.  Our service is the one that comedians seem to relish poking fun at for their customer service and we don’t understand why because we’ve received stellar service from ours.  Ours is Sprint.

Both of us arrived at Sprint separately, after horrendous customer service disasters at the hands of our previous carriers, the two biggest and fastest and bestest carriers of them all.   At least that’s what they say.  They don’t say that they are the worst customer oriented companies in the phone service marketplace.  So bad are those two, or perhaps just so big are those two, that when Each of We told our former carrier that we were leaving them, we were actually told to go right ahead and leave.

So why do we think Sprint is so good.  Both of We have had issues that required warranty service or contract questions and all of those issues were handled quite conscientiously and quite handily by human beings.  One minor point is that we did once tried to pay a bill to a human being and the idea of money seemed a little confusing to her so we stopped doing that.  What we do is pay on line, at a kiosk in the store, or most often by phone.  That’s not surprising.  Probably close to 99% of all phone users do the same.  What we notice every month when we pay is that we get a happy recorded voice who guides us through their menu of do you want to pay your bill, this is how much you owe and do you want to pay that amount, and finally do you want to use the same payment method as last time?  That’s all.  No enter your 12 digit account number, your 10 digit phone number, your 5 digit ZIP Code.  No user names.  No passwords.  Just 3 questions, a couple of quick pushes on the number 1, and then the pleasant voice says, “Your payment has been accepted.  Please be aware that it may take up to 15 minutes to be recorded throughout our system.”  Other companies say that it will take up to 3, 7, or even 10 business days to credit your account so please write down this very long confirmation number and plan on someone calling you later to ask for more money.

Anybody who has ever checked out his or her bank account on line minutes after making a phone or computer payment knows that within those same minutes that payment has already been syphoned out of the bank.  Why aren’t all of those payments just as immediately posted as paid at the company that is doing the syphoning?  Yet the one company that almost immediately posts the payment apologizes because it’s not as immediate as they would like it.  Maybe that’s something the other companies can figure out how to do just as fast while they are figuring out who’s the fastest of them all.

Can you hear us now?

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

A sucker and his money are soon strangers

Michael Leave a comment

P. T. Barnum said “There’s a sucker born every minute.” W. C. Fields said “It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money,” then went on to say “Never give a sucker an even break.” Well, we seem to be two of them even though born about 400,000 minutes apart, who willingly handed over our hard-earned money, and couldn’t have gotten a break even if we tried. We’ll be happy to explain.

You’ll recall we recently took a mini-vacation to Niagara Falls, the ones on the New York side of the river. It was there, in the Niagara Falls State Park, inside the conveniently located NFSP Visitors’ Center, that the State of New York recognized us and another 10 or 12 visitors as the suckers we so clearly must be. After visiting their facilities and sharing a $4.00 soft drink we decided to view the IMAX film, Niagara Legends of Adventure at the Niagara Adventure Theater. Thanks to all the Niagara myths and legends and spirits, and that it was winter, we got to take advantage of the low, low, half-off the regular admission winter rates. If we had to pay the full price to see a re-enactment of the legendary Seneca wedding featuring a runaway bride, a runway barrel with a runaway teacher and cat contained therein, a runaway steam boat chugging downstream, and a runaway family afternoon in the park ending with the runaway Seneca bride hanging out under the falls while all around her fall over the falls, we’d have felt dumb. (There’s more to the story than that –well, actually, no, there isn’t.) And once the 30-some minute show was over we got to exit. And so we did, directly into the visitor center gift shop. And it was there than we did what any self-respecting visitors do. We bought overpriced souvenirs and marveled at the deals we were getting.

Except for the extremely hokey and overpriced movie, the visitor center was what we’ve come to expect from the average tourist attraction. The truth is, including the extremely hokey and overpriced movie, the visitor center was what we’ve come to expect from the average tourist attraction. And we ask, why?

This isn’t the first hokey movie we’ve seen on vacation. (See “We’re On Vacation, Part 3.” In fact, see all three parts of “We’re on Vacation” under the Travel tab.) And it’s not the first time we’ve been unceremoniously dumped into the gift shop after a hokey movie. But it was the first time that we stopped ourselves from grabbing at the gaudy-colored, poorly screened t-shirt that proclaims to the world that we are living proof that P. T. Barnum was right. Who decided that every vacation must end with a purchase of the vacation spot emblazoned across a t-shirt. They are like the designer bag for the vacation set and say, “I have arrived,” or “I have been taken.”  Other souvenirs are at least useful.  Shot glasses and coffee cups can hold coffee and shots, bumper stickers and decals can be pasted to car bumpers or other places, magnets can be stuck on refrigerators. Hoodies keep out the chill. Sleep shirts keep in the warmth. Plates commemorate. Thimbles decorate. Post cards enunciate. But T-shirts? Twenty-nine dollar t-shirts?  They just get dusty in drawers until they get to become dust rags.

So we got to see a magnificent natural sight. And then got taken in a typical man-made fright. It’s all in a vacation. By the way, did you know you can get commemorative mittens? Now that’s practical.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?