Tag Purchases

Double Coupons

Michael Leave a comment

I’m so frustrated. I was doing my weekly coupon thing (you know about from reading “Past Their Prime” (Oct. 13, 2014)) and I discovered I am throwing out more old coupons than I am adding new ones. The problem is that I don’t need four cans of soup and if I did I’d like to save more than 25 cents on the transaction.

Manufacturer coupon writers are getting greedy. It’s no longer enough to encourage repeat buyers to continue repeating or to entice new buyers to try their items. Now they want to move as much product as possible in as short a time as possible.

The retailers aren’t helping much either. A few years ago it was routine to find supermarket ads with specials like 10 for $10 never caring if the buyer really bought 10, 6, 4, or just 1. They could have made the ad read 500 for $500 (a real steal as long as you have the storage space available) but the real price was actually one for one dollar (a real bargain and much less cabinet space required). (You know about this also because you read “Buy One, Get What?” Jan. 12, 2012.)  “Buy one get one” was just a fancy way of saying “half off.” That was then. This is now.

And now the ads are much more literal (not to be confused with literary). If the ad says PowerAde is buy 10 get 10 free you better plan on buying 10 if you want to reap any savings. But before you get carried away clearing shelf space in the kitchen, know that the buy one/get one ratio is also changing. Now you’re more than likely to see buy 10 get 5, an overall savings of only 33%, not the 50% we’ve gotten used to.

The ads are full of buy 4 get 2, or buy 2 get 1. There are still some buy one get one deals but you better plan on walking out with two items and not think you’ll get away with one for half price. On the other hand, do that twice in one shopping trip and you can use that “save 25 cents on 4” coupon you’ve been holding on to.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Buy One, Get What?

Michael 1 Comment

There’s something gone terribly wrong with American commerce.  Those who are in charge can’t add.  Or subtract.  Or multiply.  We were looking for somewhere for dinner and decided to break out the old coupon book.  Yes, the price goes up every year but there are thousands of “buy one, get one” deals in it.  Has anybody ever actually read those coupons?

A quick check of the 5 or 6 closest restaurants all had coupons declaring “buy one entrée, get one free.”  But they all had dollar limits.  The most popular this year seems to be $8.00.   We’re not ones to sneeze at $8.00 off dinner for two but perhaps that’s what the advertisers should be saying.  You see, of those 5 or 6 restaurants that we checked out, none of them had an entrée for under $12.00.  The more accurate coupon language is “buy one, get two-thirds off another if you go for the cheapie meal.”

It doesn’t stop at the coupon books.  Infomercials have been varying vocabulary since there have been infomercials.  “Call now and we’ll double the offer!  Just pay additional processing and handling” an amount they never specify in any of the 30 minutes that the ad runs.  If $19.95 is the price for one plus $10.00 processing and handling, then doubling the offer should mean you get twice as much for the same $29.95.  If one costs $29.95 and you double it for free, that means $29.95 + $0.00 = $39.95???  That’s not right.  Ask anyone who passed arithmetic.

While we’re on the subject of product pricing, whatever happened to products and services being priced based on their cost.  Infomercial sales have proven that point.  Almost everything sold on TV is $19.95.  That which is not $19.95 is $19.99.  If you want to figure out the true cost of an “As Seen On TV” product, check out that mysterious processing and handling fee.  That seems to vary more with, and is probably a truer estimate of the presumed cost of the product.

Presumptions aside, we have no magic formula for determining if you’re getting a deal or getting robbed.  We live in the easternmost time zone of our country.  He of We has to fly to the westernmost time zone for work with little advance notice.  While exploring the Internet for airfares he found one for $314.  Not a bad price to get from one ocean to the other.  But if he could fly out one day later the price is only $156.  Are they planning to move one of the oceans to the Mississippi River?  If they are, they are going to move it back in very short order.  That $156 airfare is good on only the first flight of the day.  Later that same day with the same airline on the same model of plane making the same stop the same flight will cost $429.  It bears mentioning that all of that is for a flight out.  The flight back is a whole different set of numbers.  Somebody has to stop moving these cities around!

To really confuse us, some deals are too much of a good thing.  Check out this week’s flyer for your local mega-mart and see how many items you can find at “10 for $10.”  Do you really have to buy ten?  Actually, no.  With your loyalty card your price is $1 each.  Why can’t they say that?  Or are there more people than we imagine who are buying 10 cans of chopped beets this week?

Buy one get some; double or nothing; buy now and save; buy big or go home.  We guess buyers really should beware.  At the very least they should throw away their old calculators, dictionaries, and maps and buy the new and improved versions.  Processing and handling extra.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

For Your Protection

Michael Leave a comment

Not long ago, She of We remodeled the bathroom in her house.  The bathtub was still in good shape but dingy.  Rather than replace a good strong cast iron tub with a new and improved cheap imitation she had the tub refinished.  When the work was done the refinisher presented her with the warranty and list of “don’ts.”  High on the list was not to use a specific array of cleaning products.  If she failed to heed this warning, her actions would (ominous music, please) void the warranty.  It made sense.  It’s a process to refinish a bathtub.  Acrylics, bonders, polymers and other magic stuff went into making a 60 year old cast iron tub look new and improved.  And it’s an expensive process.  If one of those bonders or polymers or other-ers came loose and the finish became unfinished it would be just as expensive to refinish it all over again.  That is good advice, there for her protection, and a good warranty. 

As the project moved on, new mirrors and floor and fixtures found their way to the remodeled space.  When all the rest of the pieces were in place the plumber presented her with, among other things, instructions for the toilet.  Don’t use any cleaning solutions in it or you will (once again please, some ominous music) void the warranty.  Good advice for the — for the what?  Toilet?  We aren’t speaking of the valve that lets water in or the flush mechanism that lets water out.  Toilets don’t even come with those necessities.  You buy them separately.  We’re speaking of the white thing upon which you sit.  After you buy a seat.  They don’t come with those either. 

That big white thing that takes up a whole corner of the room – the throne, the chair, the real man’s recliner – has a warranty.  And in order to preserve it you cannot use toilet cleaners in the toilet.  We have to ask, with what does one clean a toilet if not with toilet cleaners.  You would certainly want to clean a toilet every now and then.  Wouldn’t you?  We do.  But wait yet another minute.  A warranty?  From what?  One would think if a toilet did not hold up its end of the bargain and hold up he or she while he or she is…well, if the toilet broke and that person crashed to the floor, the warranty would be the last thing that the state attorney general or consumer affairs commissioner or whomever would handle the complaint would request to act upon the complaint.

There once was a day when warranties weren‘t commonplace for everything from toilets to shampoo.   There once was a day when workmanship was so good nobody thought of a warranty.  It just worked.  Even toilets.  No, that toilet warranty isn’t there for her protection.  That warranty is there for the protection of the company that realized it has created a new and improved cheap imitation of what once was genuine and solid needing neither newness nor improvement.  If it was any good the manufacturer would have hung a tag on it that reads, “Good luck with your new toilet.  It will give you years of enjoyment.  If you have any problems, give us a call.”  Instead the manufacturer tries to impress the purchaser with promises that it will repair or replace any defective part that one can prove was a defect in manufacturing and not subsequent handling including transportation and installation and that no mishandling after installation up to and including cleaning with cleaning solutions has occurred.  Words we never thought would accompany a toilet purchase.

Our advice to you if you find yourself in a similar situation is to clean the toilet.  It’s for your protection.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?