Given that today is a day from labor for laborers in observance of Labor Day, I thought I too would take off even though my labors hardly qualify as labor, and labor to reduce the clutter that so laboriously filled my brain since I last labored to lessen the load.
Did you know you are not the only potential victim of identity theft? That’s you as the general, plural you not the specific, singular you that you are as you read this. Yes, it’s true. Your car may be a potential victim of identity theft. I recently read about the increasingly prevalent crime of falsifying VIN plates, metal stamping, and ownership papers for antique and collector cars. Because I own a classic vehicle, I read that article with more than just an academic interest. I probably did not need to do that because I’ve owned my classic since the days it was just another old car, so I am more than fairly certain that what it’s in my garage is what the title and tags claim it to be, but there is a growing business among criminals to falsify records and sheet metal to make just some old car seem to be more than it is. Why you ask? Because the collectible car market is a huge business. The classic car specialty insurance company, Hagerty, estimates there are 45 million classic vehicles registered just in the United States valued at over $1 trillion. Auction sales for 2022 were nearly $3.5 billion dollars. When a single fraudulent transaction can net a bad guy a seven figure take, they are willing to spend a few thousand of those $$ to pull it off.
Here’s another did you know. Did you know that 8 of the 10 drugs Medicare care can begin negotiating lower prices for are also 8 of the most advertised prescription drugs in the US? Actually in anywhere because the United States is one of only 2 countries in the entire world to allow direct to consumer prescription drug advertising, and they do it to the tune of over $6.5 billion dollars. (That’s almost twice what Americans spent on classic cars last year and they don’t need somebody’s permission to buy them. Except perhaps a wife’s or husband’s.) Why would drug makers spend that much money advertising something to people that the people can’t just walk into the store and buy? Because American people are stupid. (And I say that lovingly.) Only in America can somebody watch a commercial for a diabetes medication then rush to the doctor and ask to have it prescribed for them, demand to have it prescribed for them, even if they don’t have diabetes. You say that’s crazy. It is but it’s also true. I know. Trust me, I know. According to a March 2023 release by the USC Schaeffer Center for Health Policy & Economics, “As much as a third of drug expenditure increases can be linked to the prevalence of drug ads.” Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health reported in February 2023 that while direct to consumer advertising is associated with increased patient requests for advertised drugs and the increased chance that clinicians will prescribe them, most of those drugs are rated as having low added benefit compared to other drugs. As someone who has spent over 45 years working with drugs and the people who prescribe them, I say to America (or to the small part of it reading this blog), we know what we’re doing. Please let us do it.
Finally, I’m always harping on losers and big men with small manhoods who “forgot” they had a loaded firearm with 2 extra fully loaded clips, let’s give them a break although they hardly deserve one. Because it’s a holiday and even losers and big men with small manhoods deserve a day off, let’s check in with the TSA and see what the most commonly confiscated items at airport security check points are. The most often removed items from carry-on baggage screened at airport check points are liquids, and the most often of the most often are plain old water, shampoos, sun-block, and peanut butter (yes, per TSA rules, peanut butter is a liquid (and is also the most common hiding medium for firearms but we aren’t talking about those things that losers and big men with small manhoods “forget” in their carry-ons). After liquids come, those things that losers and big men with small manhoods try to sneak by with by claiming they forget about them, then knives and other weapons, drugs, multi-tools, and screwdrivers. What are some of the more unusual things picked up by the TSA screeners? How about a boa constrictor, a pair of ceremonial scissors used in a ribbon cutting ceremony, canon balls, a chain saw, frying pans, and a taser built into a lipstick tube. (I wonder if that was a big woman with a small… nah.)
That’s it for today. I’m going to make sure the garage door is closed and my VIN tag is still attached to the car. Happy holiday!
Words alone are not an effective means of communication but when that’s all you have you better use them wisely, and that’s why we say to say what you mean what you say what you mean in the latest Uplift! Go on and read it. It only takes 3 minutes.
Now, back to my premise, if it’s such a good idea why not make all advertising follow a similar structure. With that understanding, I now present the way consumer goods and services should be advertised. In the spirit of the FTC mandate I’ll just note the disclaimers. The creative teams can use the rest of the 15 second spots however they would like. Please note that some of the required language might mean the advertising budgets may require some expansion to reflect longer ad time buys and since we know that companies don’t spend money they cannot recover, there may be a corresponding increase in product pricing.
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