Technically Speaking

August 3, 2017Michael 2 Comments

I blew it. I missed Thursday. Technically I suppose I didn’t. It’s still Thursday here, but I always have a post written and scheduled to be released so you can read it over your morning coffee. Technically, I do that so I can read it over my morning coffee. It gives me a little joy since I no longer write memos and directives that the staff got to read over their morning coffee. Ahh, those were the days. Oh the joy that I got out of putting a chill in their morning coffees. Yet I noticed that some of my joy was missing while I was having my morning coffee today. So I set out on the search for why.

At first I thought it was because I hadn’t crisped my breakfast potatoes enough. I knew it wasn’t that because I scarfed those puppies down like nobody’s business. (Potatoes of any kind are a treat for me and breakfast potatoes I’m lucky to get maybe twice a year.) (And yeah, I really could have put a better crisp on them. Oh well, there’s always sometime next year.) (Why, you ask. They’re not really friendly to a renal diet.) (Oh, why weren’t they crispy enough? I probably didn’t give them a good enough smash. And from there it’s all science. Wimpy smash, wimpy starch release, wimpy crisp.)

After discounting potatoes (minimally crisp as they were), I was still sensing some lack of joy. Aha! I said to myself. “Self, aha! It’s August. Not a good month for you.” And yes, August has had some bad memories of late. Two of the last four Augusts have seen me in emergency rooms followed by hospital admissions and one of those was a marathon four-monther. Another August was the closing of the hospital I wanted to stay at until I retired (as an employee, not a patient). Which, technically, I did, but not in the manner I had planned. (Too many commas?) But then last August nothing bad happened at all so I am on a roll. Technically you could say I am one in a row. Nope, that wasn’t it.

I know. While having my morning coffee I got a text from my sister. That would bring unjoy to anybody. But no, she was just telling me that she was going to return some containers of mine that I had used to share some peach cobbler with her. And whenever my containers come back they are always full of new food. Food is always good. Food = joy. Food somebody else makes = great joy.

No, the lack of joy could be due to only one thing. I didn’t have my post to read this morning. Somehow I had forgotten to write a post for today. I don’t understand it. I didn’t do anything different over the past few days to make me lose track of days forget what I had done, fail to record particular highs or lows, or observe life at its craziest. I think I just forgot. Technically, I blew it. Fortunately I had a lot of other posts in my mailbox and you guys write better than me anyway. So joy was restored and all is right in the world.

Oh, but you’re getting this post anyway. Have a good Thursday. Or whenever it is wherever you are. Sorry if you really missed it at breakfast. Have a second cup of coffee on me.

On Rode the 300

January 1, 2015December 31, 2014Michael Leave a comment

It’s milestone day! Or should that be Milestone Day? Subtle differences make differences. Anyway…

It’s a milestone day – this is Post #300! That means the next one starts counting all over again. And it will, but the first 300 still hang out. It’s also the start of a new year (or New Year if you prefer). That means there should be some changes. And there are but the old stays just as dear as always.

Like we did with the first and second hundred there are some favorites to call out. It held to the original concept of the first post – this is real reality, not what some housewife, fisherman, storage locker junkie, dancer, prancer, or gator-bait would have you believe is. What gets posted here really happened – unscripted, unplanned, sometimes unwanted, but always real. Scary.

What were some of the best of the really real? Well, best is in the eye of the beholder – or reader – not unlike an ugly Christmas sweater in one of the more recent and memorable posts “Being Beholden” (Dec. 11, 2014). Another favorite on this side of the keyboard was “Good Things, Small Spaces” (Oct. 6, 2014), the real life adventures of a visit to a public restroom where everything was automatic and proved it!

Rarely was a post controversial other than if it actually fit in the selected category. One that bucked that trend was “You Thought That Was Politically Incorrect” (Aug. 11, 2014) which was written after He completed several real surveys, each with remarkably different multiple choice answers to the same question – what race are you? Seemed that someone said that shouldn’t be important yet it keeps getting asked. Discrimination that made a difference was the subject of “Hair Today, Gone Yesterday” (Aug. 4, 2014), the true tale of a man getting a haircut in the twenty-first century.

There were lots of posts about spending money and buying stuff. One of the more obtuse offerings was “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” (July 21, 2014). The title notwithstanding it was about sales, Back to School sales specifically and a search for a new toaster. Real, not necessary rational. Shopping took a nasty turn at “Handicap Hate Crime” (June 19, 2014) another true story (they all are), this one of how one grocery store almost crippled the recovering He trying to negotiate his way to the handicapped parking slots. Technology is not always wonderful.

With all this shopping there has to be somebody doing the selling. Posts abounded about salespeople and clerks, with an emphasis on the occupant of the drive-thru window. “If You Give a Teen a Penny” (April 7, 2014) detailed what was the first day behind the cash register for a high schooler whose parents you know told her to get a job. Unfortunately, they didn’t tell her how to make change.

Fashion is always abuzz (not to be confused with a buzz). The first post for this 100 posts hitting the fashion world was “Winter Rules” (Feb. 17, 2014). It included the first two rules of winter fashion. I’ll add Rule #3 here – It may be a new winter but use the old rules.

Almost a year ago we posted the recap of the second hundred posts with “Marching Onto the Third Hundred” (Jan. 2, 2014). There we said “If we were going to pick a “best of” list we wouldn’t be able. Yes, we liked them all but more than that, we liked what they all said about us. What gets said in the third hundred might be completely different. But it will still say this is who we are and what we do.”

Well the third hundred has been different. You might have noticed more of the posts were what He did rather than what We did. She is still there in posts and in thoughts but sometime over the year the blog became more his chronicles. And they will continue every Monday and Thursday as planned. Or at least as anticipated. About the only differences you might notice are more “I” and “me” than “he” and “we.”

And so the Real Reality Show Blog marches onto the four hundred however funny, thoughtful, observant, or a little off-kilter. That’s the thing about blogs. They are what you make of them. And whether there are readers or not, there will always be writers. And happy new year, too.

Now, that’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Marching Onto the Third Hundred

January 2, 2014Michael 2 Comments

On New Year’s Eve we published our 200^th post. The first hundred came quicker than we thought it would. The second hundred, slowed by He’s Lost Summer took longer. On average, everything seems to be just right.

When we began we promised to always keep our blog real, exploring real reality. Like reality itself we are sometimes funny, sometimes thoughtful, sometimes observant, and sometimes a little off-kilter. It is like us, who we are.

It was tough to pick favorites with just one hundred posts from which to choose. It’s twice as hard with two hundred. It’s like asking which is your favorite child, a difficult decision even for parents of only children.

We’re not sure what makes a favorite. There are some particularly well written, some particularly humorous, some particularly insightful. We guess it’s whatever you might be looking for at the time. It could be the brutal honesty of “Weddings Held Hostage” or the joyfulness of “Weddings Gone Wild.” Maybe it’s the peek into our weekends in “Family Time” that brought a smile to your face. Or perhaps it was the ramblings of our favorite holiday in “Proper Attire Required” that made you just shake your head for 6 more weeks.

All of these are from our second hundred and there are still plenty from the first hundred that we’re particularly fond of. “How Would You Like Your Toast?” “Star Polisher,” and the “We’re On Vacation” series come to mind. We even expressed our opinion of those television reality shows in “Unreal” and our opinion of some real show stoppers in “That Play’s The Thing, That Thing They Do” in the first hundred posts.

There might be somebody who has read all of our posts. We’re not sure why but we bet there is. If we were going to pick a “best of” list we wouldn’t be able. Yes, we liked them all but more than that, we liked what they all said about us. What gets said in the third hundred might be completely different. But it will still say this is who we are and what we do. You can figure out the why. Really.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?