Tag People

You thought that was politically incorrect?

Michael 1 Comment

Over the years we’ve rarely made specific observations of those people that we might feature in our posts.  There have been many of them but we’ve always spoken to what they’ve done, not who they are.

Our first mention of a real other person came in November of 2011.  We detailed the exploits of a shopper who startled She of We by screaming across a rather large store to a companion shopper.  We mentioned the shopper was screaming in a foreign tongue but we didn’t identify it and didn’t have to.  That wasn’t the story as much as the volume and not knowing the language therefore not knowing whether the scream was because Shopper #1 found a real bargain or a raging inferno.  (See “Clean Up on Aisle Ten,” November 10, 2011)

Throughout the next three years we visited waiters and waitresses that made our day (our favorite can be found at “How would you like your toast?” August 2, 2012), engaged couples becoming married couples in various culture settings (“Weddings Gone Wild…well, sort of,” July 1, 2013), and plane-mates with oversized (!) carry-ons (“We’re On Vacation, Part 1,” September 3, 2012).

In none of these stories did we consider the featured guest’s ethnic or racial background.  It didn’t seem to matter to the story. And if you speak to most people in the world, it doesn’t matter to them either.  Oh but when it comes time to complete a survey or an application for something, those authors delve into backgrounds that would be challenged as politically incorrect if they were to speak thusly in a lunch room of a company doing business with the government.

And there seems to be no consistency to their descriptions.  They may ask the survey taker if he or she is African American, Hispanic, or White.  That gives us one in an uncertain familial background, one as cultural descriptor, and one that’s a race identifier.  What does the white South African who grew up in Chile answer?  Is someone from the Black Sea village of Poti in Georgia just as Asian American as someone who grew up in Da Nang overlooking the South China Sea?  There is no good way to answer.

Is the term White used for those one cannot readily discern an ethnic background?  European American brings us back to a non-descript description but how much difference is there between an Italian American, a French American, and a German American other than what side of the Alps are the coffee shops?  And do any of these people get to use the description if they themselves actually spent no time in the called upon country or is that only available for continents?

We think we have the best idea.  If one is living in America one gets to be an American.  If you’re living somewhere else please check with your country’s version of the ACLU for guidance, then ignore them and do what we say instead.   When you read one of our posts you can’t tell if of whom we are speaking has a particular color skin, speaks with a certain accent, or is good at making ravioli at home.   You can tell if of whom we are speaking makes us smile doing the things that race, color, or national origin can’t control.  Like asking, “How would you like your toast?”

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Too Much Information

Michael Leave a comment

“I just got those same plants at ‘Dirt Cheap Nursery’ and paid $30 less than you.”  That was the greeting She of We got as she rolled her cart into the checkout line with her bounty of spring flowers.

It wasn’t long ago that He of We was waiting patiently with a shopping cart of items soon to be paid for that someone passed by him and said, “I just got that [thing] at ‘Big Box Store’ cheaper.”

She of We is certain it’s some sort of affliction from which we suffer.  We seem to be the type of people that others just want to engage.  Everybody has at least one story that begins, “I was walking down the aisle and this lady came up to me, held up a sweater and asked if that color makes her look pale.”  We get that every time we’re in a store.  But it doesn’t stop there.  It continues on to why the lady is looking for a sweater, why that particular color called to her to begin with, how she had worn that color before and sometimes received compliments and other times disapproval, and had we ever used that mayonnaise made with olive oil.

People are now beginning to critique our price recognition skills.  They are most probably just trying to be helpful.  Unsolicited so but still helpful.  And that makes us wonder, what are we to do with all this information?  Do we bolt out of line and return the offending items to their former places on the store shelves?  Do we ask for proof in the form of an advertisement and/or receipt?  Do we challenge the price check person’s memory?  Do we smile politely and hope the line moves fast enough that we don’t hear from these people again?

We suppose we should be happy that we don’t project the impression that we’re not civil and will snap at anybody who violates our space – physical or economic.  It is better to be personable than to be disagreeable.  And someday, somebody might actually present worthwhile information.  (We question the $30 cheaper flowers when the total was only going to be about $70.)

Until then, we’ll continue to suffer our affliction.  If it makes others feel good, who are we to take that feeling away?  We’d like to mention though that we are getting tired of being part of the sweater shopping experience.  Jewelry.  Now that’s a different story.

And in case you’re wondering, the olive oil mayonnaise isn’t bad.  You should try it sometime.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Thanks Again

Michael Leave a comment

It’s Thanksgiving again.  Happy Thanksgiving.  Did something happen earlier this year that makes you particularly thankful at this time of the year?  Probably.  Some might be very dramatic.  Somewhere someone was spared from certain death in a horrible fiery one car crash and is thankful to have made it through another year.  Some might be almost unnoticeable.  That person who tossed an extra dollar in a child’s collection can to pay for holiday meals for those who wouldn’t otherwise have one and give thanks every day that they made it through another day.

In past years we’ve tried to find all those who can’t take a day off because they are essential to keeping things running smoothly while others take the day off and often never notice those still serving.  They are amazing stories and deserve special thanks.  (See “Thank You,” Nov. 24, 2011 and “Thank You, Again,” Nov. 22, 2012.)

Now those are the easy “thank you”s.  The hard ones are for the rest of us.  The holiday may be called ThanksGIVING but if not for what was GIVEN we can’t appreciate the joy of being special to someone and a target of his or her special gratitude.  What have you done that someone can thank you for?

Each of us has an amazing story since last year’s celebration and a special thank you to give at this year’s.  The really amazing stories are in the special thank you that you have been given.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Him again?

Michael Leave a comment

Today, a mini-rant.  We, as most of the world, are trying to make ourselves better people.  Persons?   We do good for our friends, neighbors and co-workers.  We give to charities.  We contribute to our local food bank.  We let trucks pull in front of us.  We’re nice people wanting to be nicer.  Isn’t everybody?

Two things nice people do are practice patience and exhibit tolerance.  Yet there are some folks that try even the most patient person’s tolerance.  These are the behaviors we’ve noticed again over just the past few weeks and the ones we can do without while we’re being nice to the rest of the world.

The clerk trying to make life easy for him or her and damn the customer.  Recently He of We was checking out at one of his favorite stores when at the end of the transaction instead of the computer cash register printer spewing forth the printed record of his purchases it made an awkward sound, shimmied a bid, then did nothing.  The clerk said that printer had been giving him problems all day and did He really want a receipt.  “Not if you’ll be available to stand up for me if I should have to come back with an unwanted item within 30 days and with a receipt.’’  The clerk then proceeded to repair the printer which apparently meant re-loading the paper properly.

The boss who gleefully reminds the workers who’s the boss.  Whether after a meeting, lunch, or a special celebration, there is a boss who will remain anonymous whose call to return to the business of taking care of business is “back to your holes and do something.”  Not a particularly well taken suggestion particularly when some of those being spoken to have windowless offices down a blind hall.  (That’s his good point.)

The guy who abuses the express check-out lane.  We’ve brought up this one before and we’re not talking about someone with 13 or 14 items in a 12 item lane.  We mean the person who pulls up a loaded cart with 30 or 40 items.  These people know the rules but they also know that the cashier isn’t going to say anything lest he or she (the cashier) ends up with an unsatisfied customer.  Instead, the overly patient cashier waits until the next person in line is up and apologizes for the inconvenience.

The party at the restaurant who continues to use the table for 30, 40, even 60 minutes after paying the check.  We’ve mentioned how we don’t wait for food and encourage everyone to practice table waiting restraint.  If it’s more than a 15 or 20 minute wait, there’s probably another restaurant nearby with the same menu.  Spread your wings.  What we never conjectured was that the waits are caused by people who consider their tab and tip admission to their table for the evening.  If you aren’t finished socializing after the coffee and deserts move to the lounge, a local bar, or somebody’s house for goodness sake.  (Thanks to Daughter of She for bringing up this brand of irritant.  She was waiting at a restaurant where the hostess told her and company of the reason for the wait.  That should have signaled the end of that wait!)

As we said, we’re trying to be nicer than we already are.  Can’t everybody?

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Good News, Bad News

Michael Leave a comment

Regular readers will have noticed there hasn’t been anything to read for the past few months.  We have an explanation for that and some news to go along with it.

Our last post was on July 8.  It was that same day that He of We went into the hospital.  It should have been about a week’s stay with the next couple of weeks at home to fully recover.  As does much of the things he attempts, it didn’t go according to plan.

It wasn’t completely his fault.  He of We tried to recover.  Things just kept happening.  And before we knew it, July turned into October before he was back at home in front of the computer.  Four months in a hospital is not fun.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is next summer we’ll get to experience for the first time all that we might have this summer.  True, we missed several music festivals, music cruises, drives through the country, and rib tastings (honestly, never a high point for us anyway).  But they will be back.  They always come back.  Even the ribs.

There wasn’t one night spent in the hot tub pondering the heavens and wishing on the stars.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is we didn’t get at all vexed at any one of those stars for not coming through with one lousy little wish.  One would think with all the pondering and wishing (and a fair amount of white wine) that one of those celestial bodies would come through.  More good news is that by the time February rolls around and we get to spend a night in the tub under fluffy snowflakes, He of We’s incisions will all be healed and we’ll get to spend a night in the tub under fluffy snowflakes.  And we already have a decent supply of wine in the cooler.

There was no vacation, no trip to paradise, no well-deserved break from reality.  Not in the execution or even just the planning.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is we saved a lot of money.  Has anybody seen the price of airfare to the good spots?  Sure you can get a $79 flight to Little Rock.  With apologies to the Arkansans, there aren’t any white beaches there!  And with those dollars saved it was a perfect opportunity to sit back and work out a real budget and we’re sure that’s more good news than bad.

So exactly why did we miss our entire summer?  Well, He of We fell under the hold of the most feared of medical diagnoses, the one that starts with “C.”  We can’t even say it.  The best way to excise that which befell him was to excise it.  And there came a day when the surgeon came into the room and said, “I just got all the pathology reports back.  We got it all.” And that’s the good news.  We’re certain there isn’t a bad news side to that one.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Weddings Gone Wild . . . well, sort of.

Michael 1 Comment

Another June has gone.  Throughout the world there have been probably millions of women transformed into traditional June brides.  We’ve been fortunate enough to experience a few of their transformations.

Early in the month we attended a beautiful outdoors ceremony.  We think the ceremony might have been conducted by a Catholic priest but he might have been Episcopal.  The services are similar.  Had there been a complete mass we would have had a firmer grasp on it.  Whoever he was, he officiated over a beautiful ceremony for a beautiful young couple with as many blessings as one could extend in such setting.  We then walked through the garden to the reception, dinner, and dancing as we toasted the new couple.

At another June wedding we watched another couple joined by an Apache spiritual leader who was also licensed to perform weddings in a state some many hundreds of miles from where one traditionally thinks of when one thinks of traditional Apache holy men.  Again it was a beautiful ceremony and concluded with a traditional Apache blessing for the new couple who can claim native Americanism only because both were born in America.  We then moved from one room in the hotel to another for a cocktail reception, and then to another for dinner and dancing.

Some few days after that there was another wedding at a restaurant and after “I do” was uttered to bride and groom on the patio outside, everyone moved inside and stuck around for what restaurants are known and the couple hosted dinner for all.  Some time before that we were at another wedding performed by a judge in his courtroom.  It was appropriate since both bride and groom were (and still are) lawyers.  The party then crossed the street to move from courtroom to ballroom where the party got started.  Then there was the wedding in the park performed among the trees.  After the happy couple became an official couple the male part fired up the grill while the female part got the music going.

Throughout the world there have been probably millions of women transformed into traditional June brides.  These were a few of them.  We don’t think these were the traditional June wedding.  But then, traditions shift over time.  Traditions only become traditions because they are expected and are continued. Maybe we only have the expectation part left.  We thought we’d have seen at least one of our most recent weddings in a church with an organ and the long walk down a center aisle.

We don’t want to be preachy about it but maybe the preachers of the world better get on their sticks or next June we might not even notice.  We’ll always have the traditional June bride.  Just not the traditional June wedding.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

PS to all the June brides past, present, and future.  Don’t mind us poking a bit of fun.  At the end of the day if you’re married to the one you love, then the wedding was a success.  And that’s what we really think.  Really.

 

No Two Are Alike

Michael Leave a comment

Lately we’ve been finding ourselves saying a lot, “She’s a flake, but really nice,” or “He a nice guy but flakey as high fiber breakfast cereal without the milk.”  We think we’ve figured out why.   They are the same!  Flakey and nice have the same attributes.  Check this out.

The really nice person is the one who says hello to everybody he or she passes.  The flake is the one who talks to complete strangers.

The really nice person is the one who smiles at whoever gets on the elevator.  The flake is one who always has that smile on his or her face and you can’t figure out why.

The really nice person is the one who takes impeccable messages at work even spelling the caller’s name correctly.  The flake is the one who’s always telling you in the lunch room that they know everybody you know/used to work with/went to school with/services your car.

The really nice person is the one who is always ready to help anyone move a box, a piece of furniture, or a side by side refrigerator.  A flake is the one who is always asking what you have in that box.

The really nice person will lend you his or her umbrella when you’re leaving work early and the clouds are starting to thicken.  The flake is the one with the psychedelic paisley print umbrella.  In golf size.

The really nice person always laughs at your jokes even when you know they aren’t funny.  The flake is the one who always laughs.  At anything.  Anytime.  Even during staff meetings with the big boss from out of town.

The really nice person “likes” your post on Facebook about trying to find the owner of the lost cat.  The flake has 37 cats.

See, they’re really the same person.  But that’s ok.  The world can use a few more nice people even if they are a little flakey.  And when you get down to it, the world can use a few more flakes to balance out the people who really do understand high fiber diets.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Everybody, Hit the Road! Oh, Look. They Already Have.

Michael Leave a comment

You know we don’t just pull stuff from the Internet and repeat it.  We’re always looking for the reason, the story, the lesson.  Well, ummm, this one from the Associated Press has none of that.  But it sure is fun to read.

A New Mexico man faces multiple charges after police say he was having sex with a woman while driving drunk and crashed, ejecting the woman from the vehicle.
The Albuquerque Journal reports the 25-year-old man was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out Monday night after he wrecked his Ford Explorer in Albuquerque.
Police say his female passenger was found naked outside the SUV after being ejected. She had deep cuts to her face and head.
Authorities allege he tried to drive away after the crash and leave his passenger behind, but a witness grabbed his keys from the ignition. He also allegedly tried to hide from responding officers behind a cactus.

So tell us, what have we learned from this?

When trying to get it on while on the road, be sure to get your underwear on correctly.

Female passengers should always keep at least a light sweater for those unexpected airborne moments.  A crash helmet may also come in handy.

Check with “What Not to Wear” before going out with only one shoe.  It could be suitable for certain events and may beef up an otherwise questionable alibi.

It’s bad manners to leave your date on the side of the road.

But, just because there are lessons to be learned from this experience doesn’t mean that they have been.  We move from New Mexico to Florida to review the new definition of auto-erotica reported by the Sarasota Herald Tribune::

Two individuals were charged with misdemeanors after a police officer reportedly caught them having sex in a moving car.
The officer spotted a blue Hyundai driving erratically on Hyde Park Street on Thursday and turned on his emergency lights to see if the driver needed help.
The car suddenly pulled across the road and came to a stop. When the officer went to the driver’s door, the couple quickly tried to pull up their pants.
They had been sitting together in the driver’s seat and “it became obvious that they had been engaged in sexual intercourse,” the officer wrote in an arrest report.

When will they learn?  Our search revealed at least a half-dozen other recent reports of driving while under a completely different influence.  When will they learn is probably never.  What will they learn?  Keep a light sweater handy and don’t hide behind the cactus!

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Public Displays of Affection

Michael Leave a comment

These were spotted on TV, newspapers, magazines, or the Internet over the past week. We would just like to stop and take a moment to give a round of applause to those folks we’ve listed below for facing all that life has to hand out and managing it with grace and dignity. If She of We could she would give each of them the small box that when opened lets you hear an audience clapping.  

  • A young boy hugging his neighbor because he was the first familiar face he saw after a tornado ripped through his neighborhood. 
  • Re-enactors travelling across the country on The National Road in horse drawn covered wagons.
  •  A family smiling around a storm shelter entrance. 
  • An honor guard member handing the folded flag to a new widow. 
  • A couple meeting on a street corner at the end of the work day greeting each other with a kiss. 
  • A woman comforting her brother’s children while sitting in front of their burning home.
  • An Air Force General pinning a Bronze Star on an airman next to his Purple Heart.
  • Volunteers caring for lost pets at an emergency animal shelter in Oklahoma.

They are true public displays of affection.  We used to call it doing the right thing. Whatever you call it, we like it. And we like these who find themselves not just doing the right thing, but making everyone around them feel better than if they weren’t there, no matter if the circumstance is happy or sad.

You can add to the list.  Take a moment and look around.  If you see someone doing the right thing, clap those hands and try doing something completely unselfish for somebody.  Somebody else might be clapping for you.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Michael Leave a comment

We were driving down a country-ish road when jogging on the shoulder toward us was this woman, her legs striding, arms pumping, head bobbing, and face frowning.  It was not a look of determination, nor was it one of concentration.  It was one of displeasure.  It was one that said “I am two miles from home in any direction and I want to be there, not here.”  What we knew, from knowing others who jog along the shoulder of country-ish roads, is that when she gets home there will be a husband, a parent, a partner, a child, or maybe a cat or dog who will very innocently ask , “How as your run?”  And then the lies will begin!

It was fine. I had a great run.  It was the perfect morning to get an extra mile in.  And the check’s in the mail, too.  Truth be told, there are some instances that we know have never had the truth be told of them.   Early morning joggers are amateurs when it comes to the really smooth lies.

Whether it’s taking a little blood out for a blood test, a lot of it out at a blood drive, or getting an annual flu shot, “You’ll just feel a little pinch,” is not exactly truthful for any of them.  We are both blood donors.  We’ve both had flu shots.  And we’re ready to tell anybody who comes that close to us with those sharp objects that we know we’re going to feel more than a little pinch.  Save the lies, tell it like it is.  This is going to hurt but just for a little while and once that goes away you’ll feel much better for it.

Every day millions of people ask another millions of people how they are.   We’re not sure why because we know that an answer is neither required nor expected.  If so, no one would ask “Hey, how are you?” of someone who is getting on the elevator one just got off.  Yet it happens.  The appropriate answer to that question at that time should be “buy high, sell low” just to see if anyone is actually listening.  Quite often, then and at the millions of other times when the inquirer can actually hear the answer, the answer is “Oh just fine, thank you.”  You know you aren’t.  No one is ever just fine.  Ever. 

Whether we’re asking or are being ask, almost always “Do you want help with that?” is followed by “Whew!” when the answer comes back or goes out as no thanks.  Nobody ever really wants to help, at least not with physical assistance.   Maybe if the help needed is of the mental type we’d all be helpers and then when someone asks why we’re just sitting there we can answer with another collective lie, “Yes so, I am working.” 

Just a little bit longer.  No, that’s not a commentary on this post, although here it is truthful.  Most other times that one hears those words it is going to be longer but not by a little bit.  We hear this when waiting for a table at a restaurant, for a meeting with the boss, for a refund check coming in the mail, for the doctor to take his or her turn with us, or for an opponent to finish a Scrabble move.  The funny thing is that everybody on the delivery end of “a little bit longer” knows exactly how much longer it will be.  Why not tell us.  We suppose either they aren’t confident that we find their services worth waiting for or that their services aren’t worth waiting for.

It used to be a little more sensible when business was conducted by letters, phones, and secretaries.  Now to tell someone you never got the message, meeting reminder, or new project deadline in the time of email and shared electronic calendars is a bit far-fetched.  Yet not so far-fetched that by personal experience we can say that just about every time a meeting is missed, a deadline goes by, or a message is ignored, the guilty party still tries to claim ignorance.  “Must be something wrong with the server,” is the new “the check is in the mail”

Can you think of any others?  We’d love to hear them!  Ummm, errrr, let’s do lunch.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?