Tag People

Put me in, Coach!

Michael Leave a comment

If you can, find a news clip of a baseball game from 1960. Although then commonplace it looks funny as all get out to see men wearing suits and hats while they root, root, rooted for the home team. Today anything goes in the stands at sporting events. There are t-shirts, sweatshirts, jerseys, hats, jackets, and don’t forget the big foam fingers. And those are just the fans that actually wear clothes. But the other day at a ball game I saw a suit of a different cut.

There in a field level seat just past the dugout was a young man in complete home team paraphernalia (and not the mascot I should add) – replica jersey, hat, glove, even those funny looking pants with the high socks. He could have been wearing spikes on his shoes for all that I was able to tell from my vantage point. I wonder what went through his mind when he was “dressing” for the game. Could it be that if the team gets into trouble he might step in as savior? Might he be in consideration for this year’s MVP award after coming out of nowhere? Quite literally, out of nowhere.

Let’s listen in to the coaching staff as we head into the 21st inning.

Bench coach: I haven’t seen such a masterful use of the entire roster since that 7-1/2 hour 23 inning marathon in New York 12 years ago.

Manager: Yeah, but we’re still tied and if I pull this pitcher I don’t have anybody left to pinch hit. If we don’t get a run in with one of the first two batters up we’re in deep doo-doo.

Bench Coach: On no we’re not. Check it out. Sitting in section 102. Third row, 4th seat from the aisle.

Manager: Yeah, he’s a natural! Hey you, number 00! Yeah you! Grab a bat and get on deck! Let’s put this thing to bed!

Peanuts

And that’s when the alarm clock went off.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

…and the living is easy

Michael Leave a comment

Today is the first day of summer. (If you are reading this south of the Equator please feel free to bookmark it and come back in six months or equally feel free to keep reading. Your choice.) I hate to sound like one of those guys who thinks everything was easier “back then” but I swear the seasons were easier back then. I seem to recall in my youth summer always starting on June 21. Now it came be as early as the 20th or as late as June 23. It’s all so precise they even narrow it down to the very minute “it” happens. 6:34 pm. This year. Oh, that’s Eastern Time. Eastern Daylight Saving Time. Like the sun is worried about an extra hour of daylight. And that’s just astrological summer. Meteorological summer started on June 1.Every year. (For those reading this on any nearby meteors.)

Anyway, today is the first day of summer so if you haven’t done your spring cleaning yet, you’re in luck. You have nine months off until you have to tackle that particular project again. Same goes for anyone not yet having a fling or putting one in your step. Don’t thank me. Thank the relentless march of time or your own procrastination. On the other hand, it’s now officially too late to take a break but at least you have made it through another season without getting the feverSummer

Now that all that stuff is off the table, what is there to do? Well summer can usher in some lovin’, you can do some saulting, or be having a hot time in the city or a lazy, hazy, crazy, day just about anywhere else. When you do you can post what you did on your summer vacation but don’t be surprised if someone doesn’t come up to you and say “I know what you did last summer” after they read it.

Whatever you do, do it now. It may feel like a long, hot summer but you only have until September 22. After that, no more hot fun in the summertime. (Unless you are reading this south of the Equator.) And please stay upbeat for the next three months. You realize there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues now don’t you?

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Rant

Michael Leave a comment

I’ve started writing something witty for this post no less than 6 times. Each time I get through the first sentence and I drift into an annoying (even for me) rant about that which annoys the daylights out of me. Since it looks like I’m not going to get to right anything witty today I might as well rant along. I’ll try not to get too annoying.

It’s not mid-June, the general election is 5 months away, and attack ads for the Senate seat on the ballot have already begun. Oh joy. Imagine the next time you are applying for a job you spend your entire interview (which you force yourself into rather than waiting for the invitation) on the reasons why your competition should not get the job and never describe your qualifications for the position.

Speaking of job interviews, the newly hired school superintendent of the local school district (that pays over $210,000 a year) held his first press conference to explain some discrepancies in his resume. Of course they weren’t really discrepancies. They were merely accomplishments of his that weren’t as accomplished as he said. When they say to proof your resume most people figure they mean to look for typos, not to make sure you have proof of what you wrote.

Speaking of school superintendents, the one at a different district (one where two teachers have pled guilty and are now in jail for having sex with students and one teacher is awaiting trial for having sex with students and another teacher has been charged with witness intimidation in one of the cases of one of the teachers having sex with students) was told he had to, pending an investigation regarding all these teachers having sex with all these students, voluntarily take leave of absence with pay or the school board would be forced to involuntarily put him on leave of absence with pay. He wouldn’t so they did. With pay.

Speaking of leaves of absence with pay, a local police officer charged with using excessive force after he was caught on a security camera beating the living daylights out of a high school kid, successfully sued the city for lost overtime he probably would have earned had he not been suspended. With pay.

Speaking of pay, our state’s attorney general (who had her law license suspended but refuses to step down claiming she doesn’t need a law license to be an attorney) is being sued by her sister, the chief deputy attorney general, for sex discrimination claiming she is being paid 17 to 37 percent less than her male counterparts. If that’s true then somebody will soon be suing claiming that he or she is being paid 20 percent less than some other part.

Speaking of claims, it’s time for somebody who claims to be in charge to take charge. Please.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Stops Along Holiday Road

Michael Leave a comment

It’s not quite here but if you haven’t already, you’re probably at least in the planning stages for your summer vacation. Have you noticed how we change our vacations through the span of our life? You may be still on your great journey so let me use my life as an example of one who has already journeyed the various stages of vacationing.

I was a kid during the time that station wagons ruled the roads and roads ruled vacation travel. Our vacations typically were to places where branches from our own family tree reached. Which worked out since we became their destination on their vacations. Most summers we loaded up the family sedan and set out on a day’s drive east or west. (There were no relatives south and a day’s drive north would have taken us out of the country.) Major attractions were riding lawn mowers and shopping at department stores different from the ones at home.

The teen year vacations were pretty campy. You know- boy scout camp, baseball camp, band camp, football camp. The camp years. The locations changed but the group didn’t. Later in life these were the memories that would make you appreciate the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt.”

During the college years there were no vacations. With kids in college for a dozen years running, my parents claimed the school year to be their vacation while we would work through the summer so we could all do it again the next fall.

Adulthood finally brought the real vacations. We travelled to exotic places like Los Angeles and Boston. For us that was exotic. One was actually sunny for five days in a row and the other had people who spoke in some language that wasn’t what we were used to hearing at home. Upon the arrival of my daughter vacation spots once again resembled family gatherings. Fortunately staycations were becoming the in thing (even if we didn’t have that catchy name for them) right up until her camp years began.

There was a brief period after my daughter graduated and set out on her own that vacations became exotic again. Since I was actually working and had some discretionary income, exotic actually included locations that required air or sea travel to reach.

And that brings me to the cusp of my “golden years.” Retirement, no commitments, no worries, no work, no time clock, no shirt, no shoes, no income. Every day is a vacation. And as long as I don’t travel too far out of the city I should get to spend quite a few of them on Holiday Road.

So, plan wisely, enjoy your summer vacation, and remember… oh heck, I forgot.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Conserving Colorful Collections

Michael Leave a comment

Yesterday was International Museum Day. Museum, from Old Latin meaning home of the muses. Seriously. Well, they had to live somewhere.

Museums are good places. I can say that now but there was a time when, to me, they were no more than where they keep the dinosaurs. In fact, I thought that “museum” was from Old Bedrockian and really meant “where they keep the dinosaurs.” Fortunately I didn’t pass that trait on to my daughter, nor did any of the rest of my generation pass that on to their offspring. I can tell because there are indeed museums without a single bone under their roofs.

Although our town has a terrific natural history museum with a dandy collection of bones there are others dedicated to art, local history, and scientific accomplishments . But don’t stop there. Anything can be museumable. If your town is the home of something there is probably a museum dedicated to it. Trolleys, hand puppets, kitchen appliances, and carpenters’ tools have multiple museums devoted to them. There are other permanent exhibits dedicated to matchsticks, roller skates, and the moist towelette. And don’t forget the living museums such as Colonial Willimasburg or Salem, Massachusetts. There is actually a living history museum exploring places replicating history and historical events called, appropriately enough, the Living History Museum.  Anything can be, and has been enshrined for current and future devotees.

Whether as large as the Louvre in Paris or as small as Manhattan’s Mmuseumm, as diverse as the Smithsonian or as single minded as the Hammer Museum in Haines, Alaska there is probably a museum out there that you’ll like. What would you want to see memorialized in Greater Museumland?

Somewhere along the way I missed International Museum Day on my personal list of special days. Otherwise I would have posted this last week so we could all have some time to plan on visiting someplace special given to something special. Go ahead and mark yesterday’s date down on your 2017 calendar so we don’t miss next year’s celebration. But please, don’t wait until May 18, 2017 before you visit a museum. This weekend will do.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Saying What You Mean

Michael 1 Comment

My television is on its last one. It is one of the first high def sets from way back when. I don’t remember exactly when way back but it was back enough that they still were stamping “HD” right on the plastic case. That was to remind you why you paid so much for it every time you looked at it, even when it is off. But I like it. Crisp picture, good sound. What more could I want in a TV? Unfortunately it has developed a bad habit of turning itself on and off and I just can’t have a household appliance with a mind of its own. So, its time has come.

Since it was raining and I had nothing else to do I thought I’d do some Internet window shopping. Once I narrowed down things to the price and size ranges both in my comfy zone I turned to the finalists’ specifications pages. I soon discovered that I apparently know little about today’s TV specifications. In fact, I’m not even sure what some of the specifications specify. VE SA (As opposed to MasterCard?) EPEAT Qualified (One-peat, Two-peat, Three-peat, E-peat?) Optical Audio (A measure of how well you can see what you hear?) Color Category (Isn’t that against EEOC rules?)

So the specs didn’t help. How about user reviews? Well…  I’ll let you decide. Mind you, these are actual statements by actual reviewers.

“In one month of ownership, we’ve gotten good image quality and sound.” Stay tuned for results from Month 2.
“I have not had the chance to familiarize myself with the many features of my new TV but hope to in the future.” But I just had to submit a review now because the world is waiting for my opinion.
“Nice appearance” I know that’s number one on my ‘Things I’m Looking For in a Television’ list.
“I ended up buying two of them for my man cave.” Maybe it’s a real cave.
“Multitasking issue notice bcoz lack of quad core processor.” Huh???
“You have to turn the sound up to here (sic) the audio.” Ah, hence the volume control.
“This product replaced an old tube square flatscreen in our bedroom.” My kind of buyer! If the old one ain’t broke, don’t fix it (yet).
“Still learning it as it’s still learning me.” And love grows.

I think I’ll just go down to the TV store and check out what’s on the wall till I find a picture that looks good with audio that sounds good. I know it’s a ridiculously old-fashioned way to buy something but, if it ain’t broke…

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Making a Connection

Michael Leave a comment

Have you seen that commercial where everybody does everything with their phones? Check bank balance, pick airline seat, buy donut, trade stock, start car. Do anything as long as you never ever don’t have your phone in your hand. That commercial. Or was that real life I saw that?

Yesterday I did something I hadn’t done for ages. I stopped at the bar yesterday. Not too long ago it would have been a rare day when I couldn’t say I stop at the bar yesterday. Nowadays it’s an event. I think it came from being in the hospital for 7 months. They don’t let you drink there and if there should ever be a place where drinking is mandatory it’s the hospital. Instead they turned me into someone who can say that now when I go to a bar it’s to pick up a sandwich that I ordered. And this place has killer sandwiches! But that’s a different story.

Anyway, I got there before my sandwich was ready so I sat and had a drink, joining the dozen or so people similarly spending their mid-afternoon. I noted that there were 14 other people there and 11 of them had phones in their hands. Eight were actively typing, tapping, or swiping. The other three were, I suppose, on standby.

You know how ubiquitous cell phones are but when you see it clustered in one spot it really hits you. Just a couple of years ago if there were 14 people sitting in a bar some afternoon there would have been a couple conversations, a few people checking out the TVs hanging from the corners, somebody at the jukebox, and perhaps a card game. Today I saw 8 people more connected with somebodies not there than there. And three on standby.

I’m not sure how I feel about that. Whether they were talking among themselves or conversing electronically I still would have been there just waiting for my sandwich. Still killer. Thank God some things don’t change.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Call It What You Will

Michael Leave a comment

I read an article in the paper last week that would have made go “Hmm” had I not been struck speechless, or even hmmless. The U. S. Department of Justice will no longer refer to people who have completed sentencing and released from prison as a “felon” or “convict.” Instead the terms “person who committed a crime” or “individual who was incarcerated.” will be used. The announcement included the comment that the newly forbidden words are disparaging. Hmm, we are talking about convicted felons – I’m sorry, I mean we are talking about people who committed crimes, aren’t we?

I have to expand my daily reading to include papers from around the world. I see the headlines and whatever American editors determine are newsworthy enough for U.S. media to re-report, but what might I be missing. Is the appellation of formerly incarcerated individuals high on justice departments’ priority lists worldwide?

If it catches on it will be the biggest “they said” since “they said” someone is a person of interest when the police want to talk to said someone about a crime and that it has nothing to do with being interested in someone. This person is not to be confused with a suspect whom police would want to talk to about a crime or a material witness who is presumed to have information about a crime. It seems that one shouldn’t call a suspect a suspect until all suspicion is removed in the favor of certainty less the person of interest is disparaged in the event some doubt remains.

It all reminds me of another article I saw a while ago about some organization now using the term “companion” rather than “mistress” when referring to a prominent person’s person of interest.  Now that would be disparaging. Not being a companion, nor even a mistress. Being said to hang around with someone who passes for prominent. Now that may be most disparaging.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

The Sporting Life

Michael Leave a comment

Life is made of moments. There are the “aha!” moments,” the “you wouldn’t trade for anything” moments, the outright epiphanies. And then there are the things that make you go “really?”

Saturday evening I was out shopping and the couple in the check-out line in front of me was in full on, game day football garb. Replica jerseys of two of the biggest names in local pro football team history, team hats, scarf around her neck, logo emblazoned leather jacket for him, right down to the NFL licensed wristwatch. Their cart held beer, mixers, pretzels, crackers and cheese platter, and a custom made football shaped chocolate chip cookie. These guys were set for some serious football watching.

The problem with this picture is that it is the end of April. Football is as far out of season as deer hunting. The local hockey team is in the second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The local baseball team was that day on a six game winning streak. The city’s annual marathon was due to step off the following morning. Basketball, golf, soccer, and lacrosse were going strong. Football?

I wasn’t the only one wondering. The clerk at the cash register noticed it also. “You guys are set for a party.”

“Yep,” football man fan replied. “A draft party.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I heard the..”

“Don’t say it! We recorded the draft and we’re watching it tonight. All we need now is to make it home without hearing any about it and we can enjoy the whole thing at one time.”

Now, the NFL draft was just winding up its third and final day at the time this conversation was going on. I know I’m not the world’s biggest fan and even I have at times not wanted to be made aware of the result of a particular event because I was recording it for later viewing. The women curling finals from the 2014 Winter Olympics comes to mind. And this part of God’s green earth is such a football fanatic’s fantasy to the point that a cable network has presented a series about the excesses that pass for local little league football. But I have never encountered a devotee so zealous that taping the sport’s entry draft qualifies as appropriate accompaniment to cheese and crackers.

They say it takes all kinds. I’m certainly thankful of that. Otherwise how would I be able to carry on the fine tradition of blogging about the real reality that is out there for five years now. Let’s keep those kinds coming. Go reality! Go team!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Happy Birthday To Me

Michael Leave a comment

Just in case anybody is wondering, today is my birthday. Thank you. Now, on with today’s post.

If you should be one of those young’uns who believe age is just a number, let me introduce you to my spam folder. Most of the time, I don’t even think about it. I’m not sure exactly how it works and who decides what is junk and what I want to see in an e-mail, but it works pretty well. So much so that most of the time, I don’t even think about it. (Did I already say that?) (Sorry.)

Every now and then I take a look around in there just to make sure that whoever is running things doesn’t toss out any babies with the bath water. I’ve discovered something about the junk mail I’m getting. It’s getting older with me. Let me ‘splain.

Once upon a time I would get solicitations to buy hot tubs. Now I get messages encouraging me to consider a walk-in tub. I used to get pleas to buy this miracle weight loss pill. Now I get messages offering me ways to reverse twenty years of bad eating. When I once got offers for low interest signature loans I now get offers for reverse mortgages.  And then there is the one transition no man wants to see in his mailbox. All the ads for penis enlargement concoctions have been replaced by advertisements for erectile dysfunction remedies. (If there is an equivalent female harbinger of old-age I can’t imagine what it would be.)

Yes, age may just be number. But to the junk-mailers of the world it is a number still preceded by a dollar sign.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?