Tag People Watching

Undressed for Success

Michael 14 Comments

Okay guys, buckle up.  This is one if those posts. I know some if you will, “just don’t look,” but I’ll say, “then don’t go out in public like that.” The public was a doctors’ office waiting room. Yes, that’s doctors plural. One of those places with 45 different physicians with 45 different sub-specialties. So there are usually a couple dozen patients, some with the entourages, filling up the chairs placed with about as much attention to spatial management as the average airport gate area.

The”who” who couldn’t be overlooked was a 50-60ish woman about as skinny as a dining room table leg. Seriously thin. But of above average height. I would say about 5’10” – 5’11” and she carried about 20 pounds. I’ve seen sacks of potatoes heavier and dowel rods chunkier. Some how, she managed to find clothes tight enough to look painted on those legs that could be the literal “pins” as slang for women’s legs going back to the 1500s. Capri style naturally. But that wasn’t the eye catching portion of her body. At least it was t the part that caught my eye.

She walked in – no, she wobbled in on strappy sandals, the type you might find cruising the runway if your local fashion shoe, except they sported a 4 inch platform adding to her obvious natural height. But we still haven’t gotten to the eye catching part.

Stuffed into those sandals (and I’m not sure how you “stuff” something into somewhere that is built mostly of leather straps, but stuffed they wear) were foot so long the entire length of all 10of her toes extended beyond the front edge of the footwear. Made more noticeable by the lime green nail polish.

In 99.7% of my interactions with other humans, including the just see and be seen variety, I am a live and let live, you do you, whatever floats your boat, play it as you like it. Every now and then comes the other 0.3%. And she was it.

I am the first to admit, even before other people see me, that I a, not a fashion plate of the male variety. There were, are, and never will be pin-up pictures of me gracing the insides of women’s lockers, and I dress a tad more conservatively for the 21st century than the average male. But I do dress, and I cover all my parts, including the parts that don’t comfortably fit within the confines of clothing, sometimes even breaking down and being a larger size of said clothing if the current occupants of my closet are not up to the challenge. Is that too much to ask for of my fellow planet sharers.

I think you for the chance to get that off my chest. If you’ll excuse me, I must now write apology letters to all those when saw me at dinner last Saturday wearing a half-Windsor knotted tie when a Kelvin was definitely the least acceptable.

The things people do

Michael 11 Comments

People watching should be an official event. I’m not sure if it should be a sport or a game or an unstructured pastime, but it needs to be something. I was convinced of this when we went out to lunch yesterday. The entire restaurant was in people watching mode, and personally, I can’t think of a better way to pass the time.

Nobody doesn’t mind their own business but somehow, it works. From the moment we walked in the restaurant we heard it (and we knew we were among our people). Murmurs of, “Such cute sandals!” “Look at that skirt, the one with the print!” “I want those earrings!” (Nobody said anything about my tie. Bummer.) After we were seated, we were able to join in. “Look, is that the crab cake or the crab cake salad?” “I don’t know but I’m definitely getting that for dessert…The one over there.” “I don’t see that on the menu, be sure to ask if it’s one of today’s specials.”

The best part of people watching in a restaurant is that people are constantly coming and going, so there are always new things to ooh and aah over. And unlike just a few years ago, it’s all open and above board. Nobody is sneaking around anymore trying to catch a glimpse of how the filet is served. If you can’t tell, you just lean over and ask your table neighbors.

Yes, the restaurant is THE place to people watch.

I’m a people watcher from way back. Back in the day we had to hide our watching or at least be minimally circumspect of who we were watching. Bars were always a good place because you can blame the 1,000 mile stare when you can’t believe someone would come out in public like that by blaming it on being over-served. Pools were reasonable people spotting spots mostly because anybody who went to one was planning on being watched anyway. Of course, they were also sort of the classic double-edged sword. People didn’t mind being watched, but they never did anything worth watching. Yes, for sheer volume of sights, bars were the place to be. Not late night. After work happy hour was the best time.

That was then though. This is now, and now the place is a restaurant, a little crowded, preferably mostly filled with people who don’t get out much. (You know. My people.) And for maximum participation, wear the dangling earrings and order the special.