Day to Day

March 18, 2019Michael 2 Comments

Shhh. Come closer. I have something to tell you. Today is Monday. That means you have the best chance of any day of the week to not be scammed. Good news, no? But don’t say anything lest the scammers find out you don’t fear them today and they start making Mondays their new Friday. Yeah, that’s the day you are most like to fall prey to the con.

Can you believe somebody actually gets paid to research this stuff? In some way it is interesting. There is a “best day” for just about anything you can imagine. The best day to shop at a thrift store is Monday. That’s what the experts say. The logic is that people have yard sales on the weekend and what isn’t sold often gets donated or consigned to thrift shops and second hand stores. How can you argue that? Except … those stores aren’t taking items in the back door and putting them directly on the sales floor. The have to be sorted, tidied, priced, then hung or displayed. Maybe Tuesday would be the better day. Or maybe it’s Friday so the store can make room for the wave of incoming merchandise next Monday.

How about the best time to post a photo on … wait, I’m sorry … the best time to post an image on Instagram? Yes, there are hundreds of experts who say without a doubt it is Wednesday, preferably at 2am or 5pm. Except for those experts who tell you the absolute best time to post is Thursday at 2pm. I might be more inclined to agree with the 2 in the afternoon people rather than the 2 in the morning people but that’s just because I believe the best time to sleep involves that coveted 2am hour. But then maybe I’d rather take heed of the experts who claim the best time is Monday at 8am. That would work especially well if I want to post photos, err, images of the stuff I’m picking up at the Goodwill store.

While you are out shopping and snapping pictures on Monday, mentally get your resume together because if you are thinking of applying for a job on line the best day is Tuesday, specifically at 11:30 in the morning. I’ve been looking for a little part time job to stave off the boredom of the lifestyle of the poor and unknown and now I know why I’m not getting any nibbles. In the true fashion of Willy Nilly, I have been applying whenever I see a job post that interests me.

BracketDays You’ll notice nobody has yet tapped Wednesday as a best day. That’s because they know you’re going to be busy buying shoes. Oh yes, there is an expert who has determined the very best time to buy shoes is Wednesday in late afternoon. No reason was given for that particular day but it is said that is when the deals are and the afternoon is when your feet are at their biggest because you’ve been on them all day. No word about those who have desk jobs or work the night shift.

Obviously you can’t buy shows every Wednesday so on those when you are sitting around rather than standing about to get your feet in shape for that shoe shopping spree, feel free to post something on Twitter. Yep, Wednesday afternoon between 4 and 5 is the best time to be noticed and maybe even get retweeted. Yippee.

If you are wondering (and why wouldn’t you be?), I was not able to find a best day of the week to have a vasectomy. For once experts agree that elective surgery in general has less negative outcomes when performed on Monday or Tuesday. It is claimed that because the recovery for a vasectomy basically amounts to hanging out on the couch and doing nothing for a few days, more vasectomies are scheduled right before the NCAA basketball tournament than any other time. I’ve never been able to track that “fact” back far enough to disclaim it didn’t start with those who broadcast said tournament but just in case it is in fact a fact, and considering the tournament starts tomorrow, and if you are missing your male companion today, you might want to get an ice pack ready.

And they say that Monday is the day not to get conned!

Low Seeded Life Lessons

March 19, 2018Michael 2 Comments

If you’ve been anywhere near a TV set, radio, computer, or newspaper where they recognize college basketball as news, then you’ve heard about the big upset in the NCAA tournament last week. You’ll hear about here (read about it here?) too. But just for a little.

For the first time a number 16 (aka lowest regional) seed beat a number one regional seed. All the news outlets told that part of the story to everybody reading or listening. As impressive as that is there are some important things they left out that the underdog in question should be proud of or at least include in their press releases.

bracket Everyone in America can probably tell you that before this momentous occasion, the number one seeds had gone 135-0 in these first round games against number 16 seeds. Nobody mentioned that was the first time that happened in the 79 year history of the tournament. One can argue that there have not been 16 seeds for all those years. For the first 12 years there were only 8 teams invited to play in the tournament. The current four region, 64 team, 4 round format (excluding the 4 team preliminary play-in round) was initiated in 1985. Even so, that’s been 33 years, over 50% longer than most of the kids playing in the tournament have been alive.

The other thing everybody has mentioned is that the number one regional seed that lost was also the number one seed in the tournament, or the team determined to be the best in the field of 64 entering four round play. Nobody has mentioned that the number 16 seed that beat them so handily was the 63rd in the tournament, or the second worst of those 64 teams. (It almost makes you wish they were just a wee bit worse!)

There is one more thing the news people have been remiss in reporting. Everybody together now, name the school that lost that historic game. That’s right. Virginia. Technically the University of Virginia. Now, just as quickly, name the school that won. That’s ok, you can have a minute to think about that. Now that a few days have gone by you might need to refresh your memory. If you checked the headlines or listened to the reporters you might recall it was UMBC. And that stands for? Go ahead and take another minute. That’s right, the University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

So what’s the moral of the story? Keep working. No matter how long the odds, sometimes the dark horse wins. Don’t worry if the experts downplay your accomplishments. You know what you’ve done with what you were given to do it. And yes, you done good. (As they say.) And finally, even though nobody else may know who you are, what you do matters and that will always be remembered.

See, even in ongoing madness you can find some of life’s lessons learned. But then, it is supposed to be a college tournament.

They’re All Mad -or- How to enjoy March Madness even if you don’t like basketball

March 20, 2014Michael Leave a comment

Today starts a new season. No, not Spring. Well, Spring does start today but that’s not it. The new, big season is college basketball championship time, AKA March Madness. Between now and April 8 (that’s the day after the championship game), every local newscast, every national newscast, every newspaper, every Internet news site, and every sports outlet will have at least one story about the NCAA basketball tournament even if there isn’t a participating college within hundreds of miles of the reporter. Why? Why not?

The thing about the NCAA tournament is that it pervades all of America. It goes on forever. Underdogs win games. One bad night can send home the tournament favorite. Four good nights can put a nobody on the college basketball map. Everybody talks basketball for these three weeks. But you don’t like basketball, don’t understand basketball, and can’t tell the difference between a Gonzaga and a Hoya. What are you to do?

Here are our suggestions on how you too can enjoy March Madness without knowing anything about basketball.

You have to have a bracket. Everybody needs a bracket. It is the starting point for all discussions between now and the championship game. We hear you now. What’s a bracket and where do I get one? Find any sports site, click on NCAA (they all have it somewhere on a navigation bar) find Bracket Challenge, Bracketology, Tournament Challenge, or something that looks like that. Print that out, fill it out, and post it on your wall, in your cubicle, alongside your computer monitor. Make it prominent in your workplace. It doesn’t matter who you’ve picked, it matters that you’ve picked. Now you’re in the game.

There are so many teams, so many games, how do you pick the winners? This is the easy part. Nobody picks winners. The discussions are all about how the discussers are disgusted because their teams lost. You can pick losers just as easily and have fun with it. Here are some ways to pick your winners (or losers) even if you know nothing about basketball – like most people but who are afraid to admit it.

Pick your cities. You may not know the colleges but you probably know where they are. Often their locations are right in their names. Cincinnati is right there. Milwaukee still has snow. Can’t narrow it down to a city? Eastern Kentucky is close enough. Find the location you’d rather be and there is your winner.

Pick your mascot. Sometimes this takes a little research but a few clicks on the mouse and you’ll soon find that there are panthers, wildcats, and gators. Pick your favorite animal. Maybe you’re more into people or occupations. Choose from among lumberjacks, colonels, or corn huskers. Then there are those that defy definition including the shockers, aggies, and orange. Which reflects the true you. There’s your winner.

Go for the underdog. Every bracket you can download includes the teams’ seeding or ranking for the tournament. The higher the number less favored that team is to win that game. Go big. Pick nobody but the underdogs. If you want to cut right to the chase, find at least three experts on three different expert sites. Find the common team that those experts are appalled that the college actually made it into the tournament. Any team that is so bad that nobody can say anything nice about must really belong. Pick that team as your overall winner.

Work the color pallet. A couple of clicks to get some pictures or video clips and you can get a good read on what colors a team’s uniforms are. Pick the ones that match your mood, match your style, or match your kitchen. Sounds like a winner to us.

So there are our picks on how to pick your picks. Of course it isn’t scientific. Neither is trying to pick a winner based on this season’s performance. Get into the game. This is going to be fun. Or at the very least, maddening!

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?