Tag Money

Breach My Britches

Michael Leave a comment

We’ve talked about this before and people aren’t listening.  Or maybe they are and they don’t care.  After all, it’s their money if they want to give it away.  It just seems that it’s more the Average Joe and Josephine that are being bamboozled.  And just what are we talking about?  Call it what you will from the polite “breach” to the let’s-be-honest-about-this “theft.”  (And you’re probably figuring out that this isn’t going to be one of those breezy, happy go lucky posts today.)

So, here’s the deal.  Now K-Mart has joined Target and Home Depot and Michael’s and even P. F. Chang’s and Dairy Queen having had their charge systems hacked.  And what about all the other stores owned by the same companies?  If K-Mart’s systems have been compromised what about Sears and Lands’ End and Parts Direct?  Is our money in peril at these stores also?

How do we know these attacks are aimed at the little guys, the you’s and me’s of the world?  Look at the targets, like Target.  Not the sort of places Donald Trump patronizes.  Why us?  Because is seems for the good or bad, our demographic doesn’t pay much attention to our money.  We’re funny that way.  We might make sure our 401K is being matched but we willingly hand over our debit and credit card numbers to any retailer – brick and mortar, on-line, or phone.  It might only be a $10 purchase but it’s usually $10 we don’t have in our pockets and pull out a card for payment.  Stop and think about it.  When was the last time you used real money for gas?

So using money might help to fix things.  If there aren’t cards being used then cards’ information can’t be stolen.  But what about virtual stores?  You can’t stuff a $20 bill into a modem.  We used to use things called checks.  We would order something, send in a check for payment, and the store sent us merchandise in return.  Just like with money!  So you had to wait a few extra days but it beats spending days on end trying to convince the good folks at your local bank that you really didn’t go to Barbados last weekend and spend $2,400 on Jet Ski rentals.

If you think you’d like to get in on this new-fangled thing called money you better do it quickly.  It seems a number of banks are considering doing away with, and some actually already have done away with branch offices.  They could soon be no bank to go to get money.  We’ll still have ATMs but they aren’t any more secure than the stores’ money systems.  In fact, banks have already been hacked.  JP Morgan Chase may be the most recent, and affecting 76 million households the largest, but it’s not the first bank to lose our data.  (See list below.)

Where do you shop?  Big box stores, grocery stores, on-line? This year’s retail “winners” in the data breach contest are the thieves who hacked into Home Depot, Target, Supervalu, Neiman Marcus, Michael’s, E-Bay, and K-Mart.  Where do you bank?  There are too many of them that have been lost to thieves to even think about.  And when you think about banking don’t just think about your debit card.  Where are your credit cards issued, processed, and billed?  Who holds your investments?  Do you have retirement funds sitting somewhere?  And who will be next?  Insurance companies or utilities?

A poll taken by the Travelers’ insurance companies in July of this year discovered that only 23 percent of those questioned worry a great deal about identity theft.  Even though the past year has seen at least a half-dozen major news stories on significant data breaches, this number is actually less than those who worried a great deal about identity theft in May of last year (31%).

So come on now.  Join us and join the folding money brigade.  Do you know where your cash is?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

(To see our past posts on this topic please enter “Debit” into the search box at the upper right of this screen.  To see the real scary stuff, type in “Bank Data Breach” or “Retail Data Breach” into a search engine, skip the articles and go straight to the comments.  Scary, scary.)

The Top Ten Data Breaches per Bankrate.com (Data from 2013, does not include 2014 incidences.):

Target (affected 40 million card accounts and 70 million customer data for $1.5 billion)
Global Payments, Inc. (1.5 million card accounts for $90 million)
Tricare US Military medical insurance (5 million beneficiaries’ identities stolen)
Citibank (360,000 credit card accounts for $19.4 million)
Sony (100 million users’ identities stolen)
Heartland Payment Services, credit card processor (130 million card accounts for $2.8 billion)
Bank of New York- Mellon (12.5 million customers’ personal data lost during back-up transfer)
Countrywide Financial (17 million accounts downloaded by employee and sold to other lenders)
T. J. Maxx (90 million card accounts for $2.47 billion)
Veterans’ Administration (26.5 million veterans and active duty identities stolen)

Merry Ghosties

Michael Leave a comment

There are 33 days until Halloween.  That’s an important number to keep in mind.  Thirty-three days.  Just last week on a news report, we were told that Americans would spend about $7 billion on Halloween this season.  There is one local couple who won’t be in that spending frenzy.  They were spotted last weekend buying a Christmas tree.  For them, Halloween must have been purchased sometime in July!

We all know that the stores have Christmas merchandise out already.  Folks are perusing the aisles with shopping carts filled with fall decorations and often will stop to ogle the rows of pre-lit, pre-decorated, pre-gifted Christmas trees before moving on to the motion activated ghoul door ornament.  But nobody buys those things yet.  The Christmas trees, not the ghouls.

If people start buying Christmas now where will the analysts be next year when predicting Halloween spending?  They could be out of jobs and then who will buy their door knocker embellishments be they ghoulies or evergreens for them?  If we have any plans on reading how much we’ll be spending on Halloween 2015, we have a lot of shopping to do now for 2014!

To make the predictors close to being right we need to spend about $3 million in costumes, $2 billion in candy, another $2 billion in decorations, and a couple hundred million on pet costumes and goodies.  How do we think we’re going to manage those sums if people are out there already buying Christmas trees?  It’s enough to make you think if you need more eggs for Easter.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

You Gotta Trust Somebody

Michael Leave a comment

This is local news but we’re willing to bet something similar has happened where you live provided you live in the United States of America.  Seems other countries already have this figured out.

Earlier this week the local county council that counsels those who live in the county where we live voted to not include the phrase “In God We Trust” among the other cute sayings along the walls of the room in the county courthouse where the council lives and works on the days they bother to go to work.  It seems they trotted out that old argument, the separation of church and state, once again.  (They realize that the Congress of the United States begins each session with a prayer, don’t they?)  The County Executive made it even worse by trying to explain that even if the council passed that resolution he would have vetoed it since not everyone who lives in the county is a Christian.  Now there’s one soul who needs a lot of remedial Sunday school.

We’ve tried fighting that one with the clear language of those who wrote that Constitution that they meant freedom OF religion, not freedom FROM religion.  Since they never do listen to us we thought we’d at least help them along.  If they aren’t going to trust in God, let’s come up with someone everyone can agree is worthy of our trust.

It seems these guys like other elected officials.  They like to quote predecessors and sometimes even each other during spirited debates.  It sounds too self-serving to put up a banner that says “In County Council We Trust” so we’re going to look at some other elected ones.  School boards are supposed to be above politics and take an oath to be leaders to the children they ultimately serve.  That would be a good choice.  No, wait a minute, it was just a couple of days ago that the president of a local school board was arrested for assault stemming from a  bar fight in which an instructor in her school district was hit over the head with a beer mug by his wife – neither teacher nor board member, whew.  And just a couple days before that another school district’s board member was hauled off to jail on charges of assault and public drunkenness after a fight at a wedding reception.  “In School Boards We Trust” is out.

Judges.  They are fair, honest, impartial.  Yes, we can live with “In Judges We Trust” carved in stone.  Except for the ones who have recently been paroled for everything from taking bribes to using judicial resources to finance re-election campaigns.  Now there is that one judge who gets all the big trials and is pretty fair.  Why it was only two days ago that he wouldn’t allow a deliberating jury from reviewing an exhibit saying they have to rely on their collective memories.  We can change the carving to “In Judges’ Memories We Trust.”  No, that sounds too much like a memorial.

How about we move up the ladder.  If County Council wants to be somebody when they grow up it would be state representatives.  “In the State House We Trust” is a little wordy but it gives people enough time to not worry about the eight of them that are due to be released from prison before the end of this year.  Most of them already have their paperwork in to become registered lobbyists.  We’re certain we can get them to agree to be trustworthy if we can get their names inscribed along with the major catch phrase.  Or not.

Looks like we’re down to our last two suggestions.  There is a local bathroom remodeler whose motto is “A Company You Can Trust.”  We’ll just take a still from one of his television ads, blow it up, and post it behind the county council dais.

Our last suggestion is just to make certain the county council doesn’t ever have to deal with the phrase again and purge it from all of their records.  Once they can figure out how they’d like to get paid, since it is on all of our money, they should be happy as clams.  Or just as steamed.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Hair Today, Gone Yesterday

Michael 1 Comment

All He wanted was a haircut.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a local shop, a national chain, or a guy/gal in his/her basement with a shampoo sink and a set of clippers.  Around here, a basic men’s haircut is $29.  To a woman, that’s probably a bargain.  To a man, that’s infuriating.

He of We is always infuriated that Daughter of He can find shoes on sale for $10 and that’s before the 50% off coupon from the Sunday paper and another 20% off with the friends and family discount card everybody gets when walking through the door.  His shoes?  On the clearance table after looking for a matching pair, $85.  But the $29 haircut is more infuriating.  Here’s why.

Every shop has a price list up on the wall.  Nobody has ever figured out why.  Men’s haircuts aren’t haute coiffure.  Your basic barber/stylist when confronted with a man’s head will snip, buzz, shave, whisk, say thank you, and collect the tip.  One thing on that price list is the senior citizen discount.  That runs the $29 basic cut down to about ten bucks or the price of women’s shoes on sale.  We suppose the logic is that an old guy has less hair than a young one.  Not so.  Both Sons of She have hairlines approaching that of Mr. Clean’s and neither is yet old enough to run for president.  By a lot.  Likewise, He’s hairline has been more easily measured from the back since he was in his 20’s.  The discount should go to the one who has less hair, not more years.

Another thing that is infuriating about the $29 basic cut is that He usually just gets his hair buzzed.  At his last sitting on a barber chair the “stylist” asked how he wanted it.  “Clippers please, number two.”  After asking if He realized how short that was he pointed to the little hair he had on his head.  “Anything longer than number 2 and you won’t be taking anything off.”  She agreed, took about 5 minutes to drape the drape over him, plop a set of cutters into a razor, and set them for the requested depth.  Then she took about 2 minutes cutting his hair then popped the blades off, undraped him, handed him a mirror (which after a lifetime of haircuts he still wasn’t sure why), and stood back waiting for a tip.

So this time when He needed a haircut he walked into the same shop, was greeted by the same “stylist,” asked for the clippers set at number two, acknowledged that he knew how short that was, and was digging out her tip 7 minutes after sitting in the chair.

For $29 you should get at least enough time to talk about last night’s game.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

And If You Order Now…Part 2

Michael Leave a comment

Some time ago we supposed, “We believe that with two you have a spare.  With three you have a collection.” (See ‘With Three You Get Collections,’ Jan. 9, 2012). Hold that thought.

When we last left our heroes, we were wondering how America has managed to create so many different ways of separating one from one’s money without leaving the house. And wondering beyond that if the trend might ever reverse.

We think we have some other trends that have to reverse first. Some time ago, He of We was at a financial seminar where the focus was keeping one’s money. One of the exercises the 30 or so attendees took part in was a card count. Not as in blackjack. As in credit cards. Not debit cards. Not insurance cards. Credit cards. With those 30 or so attendees there were 187 credit cards also in attendance. That’s at least 6 per individual. That’s a collection. If you add in the debit cards there were 245 cards hanging around in purses and wallets. If you run the math you’ll see that is more than one debit card per person. That might be a spare. The whole kit and caboodle is definitely a collection.

Let’s go back to January of 2012. We also said that collections are not rational and just a little obsessive. You might say that makes sense if we are speaking of coins or art or other objects of value and beauty. But credit cards? Yep, even them. Having six credit cards is not rational and a bit obsessive.   It is also empowers the marketers to continue selling to those who haven’t left the house.

The only way on-line shops, infomercials, magazine inserts, and television shopping networks work are if they accept something other than money. The ready availability of credit and debit cards is their ticket to your bank account. According to the Federal Reserve, credit card balances now total nearly $857 billion. With an average of just about 13% interest on that balance, Americans are paying just about $110 billion a year in credit card interest. And since we all seem to have a collection of them, once one is maxed out we can move on to another and never miss the opportunity to buy that $400 purse.

So there we go again with the purse. Is it so terrible that someone sells and someone else buys a $400 purse? No, it’s not. We’d just prefer to see that if someone is going to buy it for $400 that someone has to reach into her, or his wallet and pull out four $100 bills to pay for it. Then it will mean something. But that’s a different post for a different day.

If you too are concerned about the rollercoaster of remote shopping you too can do something about it. Break up your collection and get back to using money. If Capt. Kirk was able to figure out how to do it, you can too.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

If You Give a Teen a Penny

Michael 3 Comments

This weekend we finally got to it, the annual Maple Festival where we picked up a trinket or two, saw grain being milled into flour, and bought a year’s supply of locally produced maple syrup. It was a success.

One of locally produced items we weren’t able to get at the festival was local honey. Another one of our food extravagances. If you’ve never had locally produced honeys, syrups, relishes, and such you are missing something special.  Spend the extra dollar and spoil your taste buds.   But we digress. One of locally produced items we weren’t able to get at the festival was local honey. Fortunately we found a farmer’s market just a bit outside the grounds where local relishes, piccalillis, mustards, and yes, honey are available. We stopped in and explored the greenhouses. Then we perused the shelves, made a few selections, and dropped them off at the counter while we continued our search of local treasures. After a while we were set to finalize our purchases and move on to lunch.

She went first, splitting the bounty on the counter in front of the cash register which itself was in front of a brand new, first day on the job, high school student and part time helper. She already was a little confused (she the helper, not She of We), and asked if everything wasn’t all together. Her mentor explained that it appeared we had separate piles and would be checking out separately. And so she began to ring through Pile #1, collected the debit card from She, punched the requisite buttons, generated a receipt, and bagged up the bounty. And all went well adding to the success of the day.

Next up was He. It wasn’t difficult to determine which pieces were his since they were those that remained from Pile #1. Pile #2 was soon rung into the register and a total announced. $15.76. He dug into the pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill and a penny, offered them to the brand new, first day on the job, high school student and part time helper and watched her turn into the proverbial deer in the headlights. High beams even. She stared so intently at the cash in her hand it brought to mind the Amazing Kreskin and can she bend the penny with her mind. Apparently her mind wasn’t up to the task. The penny stayed as it was, where it was, until she asked, “What’s the penny for?” Her mentor suggested that He didn’t want to walk around with a pocket full of change. She suggested she punch $20.01 into the cash register and see what happens. He shook his head trying valiantly not to call the brand new, first day on the job, high school student and part time helper a dolt. (Somehow he succeeded but it gave him a headache.)

Somewhere along the way we’ve read in papers that standard test scores for reading and math are improving at staggering rates and today’s high school graduates are even more prepared to enter the world than those of say, 30 or 40 years ago. Apparently somewhere along the way math questions have eliminated all to the right of the decimal. And with it, went our pennies.

If you give a teen a penny, she’s going to ask what it is for. When you tell her what it’s for she’ll not believe you. She’ll check a nearby mirror to make sure she isn’t frowning. She’ll refresh her makeup and then remember she owes you change. Chances are she’ll still have that penny and ask what it is for.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Return to the Paper Standard

Michael Leave a comment

Who hasn’t heard of the debit card fiasco at Target?  That story broke almost immediately after its discovery in December and still commands news space today.  Just as the most furious of the stories were waning about Target we heard that Neiman Marcus had a similar breach only this one was three months before its news release.  And just this past week we have heard that Michael’s card processing program was also a victim sometime last summer.  At least Target had the good sense not to hide its problem for six months.  We’re still not going to use our debit cards there ever again but we do appreciate their notice.

A couple of years ago we commented on how the lack of using real money has desensitized us to the true costs of many everyday items.  (See Paper or Plastic, Feb. 23, 2012.)  Then we said that money no longer seems to mean terribly much for many people.  Make your selections.  Swipe your debit card.  If you happen to swipe more times for more funds than you have money in the bank many bankers have overdraft protection pulling funds from savings accounts or automatically debiting lines of credit.  The bankers love that system.  What they collect in account fees and overdraft fees is more than enough to keep them from ever having to shop at Target.  In 2012 banks collected over 29.5 billion (with a B) dollars in overdraft fees.  That’s $29,000,000,000.00 charged to people who didn’t have enough money in their accounts in the first place.

There are certainly times when checks and debit cards are appropriate.  You could pay a bill with a money order if you could find someone who still writes money orders.  The banks still do for hefty fees.  Dropping a check in the mail is still the easiest way.  And if you want to do your banking by internet or through monthly auto-drafts, the debit card is indeed the way to go.  But maybe it’s time to rethink everyday shopping using money.  You remember money?  A funny shade of green, pictures of presidents and statesmen, can go through the wash relatively undamaged when you forget that it is in your pocket.   That money.  Real money.  Money that means something to you when you see it disappear into a cash register never to come back to you but that’s ok because you traded it in for something you really wanted or needed and you won’t have to keep one eye on your on-line bank account to make sure nobody else is using your money.

A couple of years ago we closed a similar post with, “Never actually seeing cash get handed over person to person has clearly kept rising costs out of sight.  Not recognizing the consequences of this lack of concern has clearly put us out of our minds.”  Today the rising costs aren’t just at the register.  Today we see the rising costs in losing control.  It makes one wonder who will be the next retailer to call a press conference over a security breach.  And how it will be our fault for not keeping better watch of our money.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

How to retire on a million dollars a day

Michael Leave a comment

We know our reader demographics fairly well and unless there might be a huge chunk of you who have retired early we’d say most of those who read (and write) these posts are quite some time from taking a permanent vacation.  At least by American standards which are now reaching closer to not beginning until age 67 and certainly even later for those with birth dates from the 1990’s.

Not so long ago on one of the television financial “news” programs, the hostess repeated her oft told opinion that if one plans on a happy and successful retirement, he or she must have at least a million dollars in a retirement account.  Even though we aren’t close to retirement we also aren’t close to having a million dollars in any account, particularly not one that will be left untouched for quite a few years yet to come.  Had we a million dollars in all of our combined accounts we’d probably die of shock and never get around to the retirement anyway.

Where, we would like to know, with houses costing hundreds of thousands of dollars, cars costing tens of thousands of dollars, and bacon costing $4.00 a pound, does one manage to cut back sufficiently to save a million dollars.  We suppose if we were a television host and hostess and making six or seven million dollars a year, we could easily scrape up a million in 40 years of working.  We might even save a few bucks from the radio shows, books, syndicated newspaper columns, and commercial endorsements.  We might be able to save a million dollars for every year of retirement.  Maybe for every day!  But we aren’t.  And we suspect if you are reading this (please, we mean not to pry) you probably aren’t saving at that rate either.

As we said, we aren’t close to retirement ourselves but we know many people who have retired.  Some at the traditional retirement age, some a little earlier, some a little later.  The one thing they all had in common is that they didn’t have a million dollars saved and yet they have managed to live happy and successful retirement lives.  How does one do it living in such abject poverty that comes with having less than a million?  Let’s start with having the big things paid for before hitting retirement.  The mortgages are gone.  New car warranties of 10 years or 100,000 miles are used in entirety.  Clothes last for more than one season.  Dinners out are held to no more than once a week, sometimes even less.  Vacations are instead long weekends.  Credit cards are for true emergencies.  Better still, hard won savings are for true emergencies.  Frugal is not a bad word.  It can be done.

Will anybody ever really need a million dollars to retire?  Probably to the financial pundits who in their working lives are making six or seven million dollars a year, a million seems to be the bare minimum.  Thank goodness they’ll still be eligible for social security.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Hey Buddy, Gotta Hot Tip?

Michael Leave a comment

“Just pick a name you like.”  That’s sage advice from She of We that spans the sporting world from the NCAA March Madness to the World Series.  Last week we discovered it works at the track also.

Our track is a harness track, not world famous but not completely unknown.  In harness racing, standardbred horses (not thoroughbreds) pull sulkies piloted by drivers (don’t call them jockeys) at either a pace or a trot from a rolling start (not from a gate).  Ours is 5/8 mile track around which a horse paces or trots but hopefully never gallops 1.6 times to make a one mile race.  And most of them finish up faster than 2 minutes.  Not a bad time for a big horse pulling a stripped down cart with a 160 pound driver pulling back on the reins most of the way around to keep the big guy in stride.  If you haven’t seen one, type in “Harness Racing” in some search engine.  There must be plenty of videos out there.

Naturally, where there are horses there will be gambling.  With gambling there will be official programs, unofficial programs, tip sheets, systems, and hunches.  But we had something else.  We had a former owner with us.

We should explain that we in this instance were more than just He and She of We.  We also had both Sons of She, Daughter and Guest of He, Sisters of He, Friends of Sons of She, all gathered to commemorate the anniversary of the birth of Son Number One of She who had selected this very venue as his celebration site.  We all sat at the rail just a foot or two beyond the finish line at the noted son’s preference, with balloons and cake and gifts, certainly a first for us at the track if not a first for the track. If we had big hats and string ties we’d have been the envy of those most recently at Louisville and Baltimore.  But we digress.

Among Those of We was Former Owner who had trained and run horses at this very track.  It was like having the ultimate insider among us.  One who understood those bizarre program abbreviations.  One who could look at a horse and tell who would be likely to break stride.  One who knew the drivers (don’t call them jockeys), and when the favorites were too much of a favorite to spend $2.  We were in the money.  Yeah, right.

Number One Son of She had never been to a race track and never bet on a horse.  But he jumped right in, studied the program, pondered his wagers, and thoughtfully bet each race.  We’re not really sure exactly how well he did or didn’t do but he ended the night with a big smile so we figure he probably broke even and at least had fun.  Daughter of He and her guest sat and watched and waited and waited and watched and waited until the one race he apparently was waiting for while watching.  He played his sole bet of the night, a straight exacta based on something he never revealed.  He also never revealed how much he bet for that race but unfortunately it equaled how much he lost for the night.  Number Two Son of She was the big winner pulling in over $200 on a large purse trifecta.  Of course that was the race when he returned to the table from the betting window and compared his ticket with his notes he exclaimed that he picked the wrong horse and was there time to go make another bet just as the track announcer announced, “and they’re off and pacing.”

He and She of We had the perfect system.  She would pick a horse, he would bet on her selection.  Using Former Owner’s keen interventions combined with a keen sense of matching horses’ names to former vacation places we managed to break even for the evening.  When the companion of one of the Friends of Sons of She asked how she picked her horses, She of We spared her of all the technical jargon Former Owner used.  “Pick whatever you want.  Find a name you like, a driver you like (don’t call them jockeys), or the horse’s color you like and stick with that.”

Well, that’s when the lady sitting at the table next to us couldn’t take it anymore.  “You might as well just give them your money,” she huffed.  As the evening wore on we overheard her explain her system to her companion.  “Bet on every horse in the race and you’ll be sure to hit the winner.”

Why didn’t we think of that?  Well, the math works out that one would spend about $300 to win about $20.  Personally, we like Number Two Son of She’s system.  Pick the wrong horse in your highest wager of the night.  It works every time.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Shopping Without a List

Michael Leave a comment

It’s a Friday evening and we have to decide what to do with the weekend.  It’s not like we’re ever devoid of activity on the weekend.  We’re never devoid of activity on the weekend.  We’re never devoid on the weekend.  That’s the problem with our weekends.

We don’t live together and we both work full weeks during the week.  We know some lucky pups who work 10 or 12 hour days and get an extra day off every seven.  We don’t.  If we want to see each other on a day that doesn’t start with “S” we make a date.  Otherwise, it’s weekends are us.

Since we both run full households we need stuff.  Thus most weekends include shopping.  And shopping means multiple stores. We could probably do everything in a Walmart.  We understand most people can do everything in a WalMart.  In fact, we seem to recall a movie about doing everything in a Walmart.  But, believe it or not, our immediate environs are WalMart free.  And we wouldn’t have the discipline to do all day in a Walmart.  She of We once had an experience so bad at a WalMart tire center that we couldn’t even write about it.  He of We is convinced that local saboteurs scuttled the plans for a WalMart some 3 miles from his house and he worries every time he gets too close to one that landslides will bury him not unlike Vesuvius buried Pompeii.   So instead we go from store to store knowing the stops with the best buys on staples and the chances for better deals on surprises.

As we enter each store He of We asks the same question.  “Do we need a cart?”  Sometimes he gets an answer.  Sometimes he gets just a look.  Each time he pulls a cart from the line of them inside the entrance door.  We don’t shop with a list.  We shop with a purpose.  Although just different enough to be almost annoying, we each have a pattern of how to attack a store.  She of We does the up and down from right to left with the side spurs covered only if there is a known needed item or a clearance rack before getting to the end.  He of We moves in about the same manner except that every third or fourth aisle he gets distracted by shiny objects from a row over and detours toward it, usually pushing the cart leaving She of We to wait wherever he left her at the time.

Sometimes we stop and take note of what we’ve put into our cart.  Often we’ll think twice about an item or two and return it to its former shelf sitting space.  Usually these were the shiny objects previously mentioned.  Sometimes we get all the way to the checkout line and decide we’ve much more shopping to do and head back into the stacks.  Always, before we check out we prepare ourselves for the payment experience.

You’ll recall, we don’t live together.  Everything in that cart has to be delegated to an address.  He moves to the front of the cart, always goes first, pulling his shoppers card from the quick release clip on his key ring.  He offloads his items from the basket, from the child seat, from below, sometimes hanging off the side if it might be a shovel or shepherd’s hook.  While that is going on, She of We prepares herself and pulls her card from her purse. Noticing that He of We has completed his transaction she hands her items over to him and onto the counter they go.  As the cart empties of yet to be scanned purchases, bags of already paid for pieces replace them.  Slowly She, He, and the Cart of We move forward through the check-out lane until She of We’s purchases are totaled and she runs her debit card through the scanner.

A quick run to the car where the cart is unloaded in the rear of the vehicle of the week and it’s off to store number next. Yep, we shop with a purpose.

We really need a new past time.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?