Messages | The Real Reality Show Blog

It was the best of speeches, it was the worst of speech…no, I’ll leave that cliché alone today. It was a good speech, or presentation if you will. But it ended up with an unexpected twist when I was mingling with some of those still around as we wrapped up the evening.

Over the last few weeks there have been a number of things to remind me that people, whether they expect it or not, react differently to the same stimulus. I’d say I’ve read 4 or 5 blog posts, one journal article, an online article, and even had a discussion with my daughter after a retreat she had last week about it, so I certainly should have expected it. People see things differently. Nothing wrong with that.

The program I had just finished was one I’d written similarly here if you want to get the gist of what I had said that evening. The intro was different. I had couched the events comparing miracles to long shots, using the current billion dollar MegaMillion jackpot as the definition of long shot. I started with “Yes, I bought my ticket. Oh I know the odds are astronomical but I’ve faced longer odds than that and won. On, no. Not a cash jackpot. I hit it big in the miracle lottery!” and from there described my journey from secular “guy grabbing with both hands” to true believer in the power of prayer and that miracles do happen (although it is our job to figure out why), in four brushes with death over a span 20 years.

As usual, the after-crowd included those stopping by to say things like “You’re so brave to tell your story like that.” (Not really, it’s not like the audience was made up of grizzly bears, just other people). “Wow, so inspiring!” (Thank you.) “Did you ever just want to give up?” (Hmm, no, I never did even though I knew things were going to be different no matter how they turned out.) And “I want to thank you for talking about prayer here, here, not in a church. I just discovered a few months ago what I was missing. Faith. Believing in something. You don’t see that out in public. It meant a lot to me to see you put your faith out there for everyone to see.” (Wow. That’s the one I didn’t expect.)

I expected to give an inspirational speech, one saying that you are never alone, you ask for help from whom you know will stand by you wherever you find your helpers. He heard a motivational speech, one that told him that you can be the person you are meant to be no matter where and with whom you are.

Two speeches out of one set of words? Maybe four speeches: one of strength, one of hope, one of inspiration, one of motivation. In truth, one speech for everyone present plus one for me. Everyone hearing the same words and taking from it what they need to hear, what their mind, soul, spirit, or heart wants to take from it. For me, whatever I need at the moment: confirmation, validation, acceptance, fulfilling a promise. I’ve often said you write for yourself and you speak for yourself. What your reader or listener hears are more than the words, but the message they need at the moment.

Yes, it was the best of speeches, and we’ll leave it at that.

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You might think from the title of this post that I’m getting ready to set on a rant about those demonstrating for or against the gripe of the week, and sometimes both, but no, those aren’t the messengers who are annoying me this week even though their messages are annoying as anything. I’m getting ready to rant about messages more than messengers, text messages, and in particular, group text messages. Although…there are messengers who initiate those group messages so, yes, let’s rant about them too.

Do you remember when email was “new” and about once a week the office manager, HR VP, sometimes the company president, would send an email around that said, “Do not ‘Reply All’ when answering group emails,” which was particularly good advice if your reply was “what a bozo move that is!” to whatever directive the email contained.

Actually, that still goes on in the companies that communicate by email. But as the world has grown faster and more impatient to the point that many are finding email to be too slow. More and more messengers are turning to text messages. Everybody carries cell phones now. Nearly everybody’s cell phones are smart phones (many smarter than their owners) so sharing documents, spreadsheets, internet links, and images are no more difficult that doing so by email. And people look at their phones. Emailers are not unaware that the “efficient business experts” have long suggested that to not be tired to one’s email, establish email hours and check inboxes at specific and limited times. Immediate email responses are things of the past. Ah, but text messages. Everybody reads texts as soon as they pop in. They could be something important like a happy hour invitation or a link to a cat video.

Although it is possible to reply to just the sender of a group text message, that takes an extra step and only the most fastidious recipient turned responder might be willing to take the extra step, Otherwise, reply all is the default and the default routinely is taken. Back in the good old days of emails, although the occasional reply all snuck through, most recipients never had to bother taking care to choose the correct reply option because they didn’t intend to reply at all. It was an age when if you didn’t have anything to say, you didn’t have to say anything. But that doesn’t work with text messages. Oh no, if you get a text, you will send a text. It’s only right they must think. And so everybody knows who among them thinks “what a bozo move that is” and what everybody else thinks at 10 or 12 second intervals even if all they think is “OK” or “Thx!” or 👍.

So don’t be a bozo, or even just move like one. Keep your group responses to yourself. Or at least only to the sender. OK? Thx! 👍. 🙂

Once upon a time they lived happily ever after