Tag Marketing

Name it!

Michael 6 Comments

Name that…

Did you ever wonder where some products get their names? Other than it looks like one, why should a Brillo pad be called a Brillo pad.

I started thinking about these one day in the shower when I took a close look at the shampoo bottle, proudly proclaiming it is made of five vitamins and oils. Oh, so that’s why, I said to myself. And from there I was off and running.

I’m all knowing when it comes to pharmaceutical brands, they being such a big part of my livelihood. There are many stories of drugs being named after researchers’ wife’s and children. Sometimes a glimpse of what they do or don’t do is hidden in the name. The first commercially available benzodiazepine, chlordiazepoxide was noted to not cause a loss of equilibrium at sun-sedation doses and that led Roche to name its brand of the drug, Librium. When they made it more potent and released diazepoxide a few years later, they capitalized on brand recognition of the “ium” ending, and as a nod to its use as a sedative, started it off with the Latin for “good night” and named it Valium.

But what of the thousands of products out there that seem to be related. Are they? I there a connection between Kleenex, Spandex, Tilex, and Pyrex? No, nor among the other 600 trademarked products needing in EX. It just sounds good.

Indeed, the letter X in a brand name is much sought after, as is Y and Z.  Pfizer pharmaceuticals hit the letter trifecta with its brand of the antibiotic linezolid when they branded it Zyvox.

A popular brand name construct is combining letters with numbers, ala 7Up or in the company name 3M. Sometimes it’s just shorthand as with 3M which started as Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing. Sometimes it means something even if nobody knows what as with 7Up. (The most popular theory is that it is from its original 7 ingredients and the bubbles go up.) Sometimes the alphanumeric text means something and all the world (except me) knows it like that shampoo. Figure out what it is? Yep. Alberto VO5, named for the five vitamins and oils in the formula. Now I just have to figure out who the heck this Alberto guy is.

Happiness experts say there is joy in being content with ourselves and not missing out in what others are doing. We say joy is not being happy we are not missing out on some part of life. We are joyful because we are taking part in it! We talked about that in the most recent Uplift post, Fearlessly Joyful.

070E8C48-9DC8-4E1C-B836-7073B40608B9

And . . .

Michael 3 Comments

There’s a new darling of the entertainment world out there.  +  That’s it, just   +  .

+  can mean different things to different people. To a chemist it means that’s a cation, the positively charged ion, the opposite of an anion, that one that travels to the cathode, which an electrician will recognize as the opposite of the anode, the anode being the positively charged electrode possibly symbolized on a schematic as  +  .  A mathematician, not to be confused with an arithmetist, recognizes  +  as an means of identifying any real number greater than zero. An accountant hopes not to find  +  preceding the number on the bottom line of IRS Form 1040 which would indicate outstanding tax due. A doctor ordering blood knows it is important to include  +  after a patient’s blood type if the patient’s blood has the Rh Factor antigen present. A musician sees  +  and knows to raise the fifth note of a major chord by a half tone. (It sounds weird on paper but not so bad in the ear.) Back when you were an itty bitty youngster, even in the age of “new math,” you learned that  +  symbolizes addition, the one of the four basic food groups of math. Just kidding. I wanted to see if you were paying attention. Addition is one of the four basic arithmetical operations of mathematics, the combination of multiple numbers to determine a total or sum value. You know, 2 + 2 = 4.

The “experts” who upsell premium video content have latched on to an old hook that marketers have used for a while. Skip the words, symbols sell. If a picture is worth a thousand words then  +   is worth at least $4.99. That’s how much extra you’ll shell out for discovery+. That’s a bargain in the plus world now crowded with Apple TV+, BET+, Disney+, ESPN+, and Paramount+ .  It’s such a hot commodity even free channels are “adding” it to their names like Documentaries +, Halloween +, and the succinctly named Free TV+ and Free Movies+ channels.

I’m being a bit unfair calling  +  the “new” darling. The French pay TV service Canal+ began broadcasting in 1984. Not television but still screen based (although often much smaller), Google+ was available on line and on phones from 2011-2019. In the non electronic world  +  has occupied a spot in brand names for everything from clothes (Missen+Main) to soap (Etta + Billie) to window treatments (allen + roth). It wasn’t until FX+ was released in 2018 that  +  began a surge in the television industry. (FX+ was shut down when Disney purchased the network the following year.) Oh there were a handful of PLUS appendices but that little  +  kept itself tucked away. Until now. Expect to see more [Fillintheblank]+ not unlike how many cable/streaming services released [Pickyourfavoritechannel]Go in the 2010s. Expect to see  +  more frequently on the smaller screens again also. Apple News+ coming up on its two year launch anniversary. After a slow start subscriptions hit an all time high in the 2020 second quarter.

You might say  +  is multiplying. (A mathematician wouldn’t but there probably aren’t many of them reading this anyway so go ahead and say it!)

PLUS

‘Twas the Day After Christmas

Michael 1 Comment
All right everyone,  gather around over here. We off to a late start today and this stuff has to be done by opening of business tomorrow.
 
You, up on the ladder, since you didn’t bother to come down when I said to gather around you can stay up there and pull down those silver and gold streamers and the fake snowflakes and get the red ribbons and hearts up. Do we have any cupid cutouts you can hang at the end of each aisle? Good. Get those up too but not that last row. Make that one green and find the shamrocks we had up last year.
 
I need someone in the window to get Santa out of the chimney and wrap the trees up. Fine, you’ll do. After you get the fat man packed away find the most of whatever we have and make a big pile in the middle of each window and change the signs from Holiday Sale! to Year End Clearance! What? No, don’t change the prices! Are you new here?
 
Now then in the candy section, any candy canes, foil wrap bells, those Christmas packaged candies, and the prefilled stockings get loaded up into 2 or 3 shopping carts and tape a 50% off sign on the front of them. Yeah, I know last week they were 75% off. That’ll teach people to try and hold off for a better deal. So what if somebody notices. If they remember next year we can get rid of all this junk before Christmas Eve and not have to scramble like this. After you get those shelves empty there are a bunch cases of those sappy heart shaped boxes of candy that didn’t sell last year. Put them out, mark them up a third higher than whatever they were then mark the whole section 10% off.
..
I need somebody to check the ad copy before it hits the emails tomorrow. It should say FLASH SALE, ONE DAY ONLY, PRICES GOOD ON ALL ITEMS* FRIDAY THROUGH TUESDAY and then in the real small letters “some exceptions apply.” Last week somebody used a readable size for that and three customers actually wanted to know what wasn’t on sale before they got to the check out lines.
..
BigSale
..
Okay then the cards and ornaments let’s make buy 1 get 19 free. I know we’ll be cutting our profit down to under 300% but we need the space for the sunblock and flip flops that we have to put out next week. What? Hmm. Yeah I know those guys down the street have their leftover gift wrap 90% off but I figure it doesn’t go stale and we’re just going to have to buy more next year. Look, most people are using gift bags for presents any way. Just stuff whatever is left in the fake chimneys when they come out of the windows and push it all to the back corner of the stock room. We’ll put them back out in October.
.
You two, take this list and go through the store and anything you find that looks like a match bring to the guys in the crafts section. That’s the list of Olympic sports. Yeah it’s time for them again. I don’t know exactly, July something. Whenever they are we’re running out of time. Corporate sent some people to stencil something that looks almost like the real logo on whatever we got. We need to get started with that so we’ll be ready when we pull whatever Dads and Grads crap that didn’t sell off the shelves in April.
 
You all have your jobs to do. Any questions? New Years? Get a few bucks out of petty cash and go down to the dollar store and buy some noise makers and cardboard hats. We can set up that end caps right across from the cash registers. We can probably make a pretty penny on some last minute shoppers. Good thinking! 
 
Now let’s get out there and remember, sales sales sales! That’s the reason for the season!
 
 

It’s Super! Yeah, Right.

Michael Leave a comment
Just when you thought it was safe to go back outside.
This close to Christmas with yet a weekend still ahead of us it should be a time to stay indoors and finish trimming the tree, plan the big family dinner, tune up our voices for midnight mass, and venture outside only for snowman building, sledding, and ice skating. Instead there is one last suspense filled 24 hours. Super Saturday. Also, and perhaps more appropriately known as Panic Saturday.
 
I’m sure with apologies to the National Football League but not to American consumers, Super Saturday is expected to outsell Black Friday this year as it has in most recent years, bringing retailers 60% of the years holiday sales and as much as 40% of this year’s total haul at the hands of those clutching fast melting credit and debit cards.
 
It’s hard for the young crowd to picture it but once upon a time, with the notable exceptions of Spiegel’s and Sears, people had to go to a real store to shop, those stores were closed on Sundays, and without constant flood of email reminders shopping was often a last minute activity. The Saturday before Christmas was the last chance to finish filling out the kids’ Christmas lists. So even without the commercials, banners, and full page ads those Saturdays were already super for many stores.
 
I’m not sure what to make of this year’s edition of Super Saturday. There are 3 days between Saturday and Christmas which is one more than most carriers need for 2 day delivery. Will people take that chance or will in store shopping outpace on line shopping? Will Internet shoppers take the order on line and pick up in store option? Will Saturday night bring regret over whatever choices were made.
 
Or will the collective America decide its bought enough already and spend Saturday building snowmen, sledding down a nearby hill, and falling on their behinds at the frozen over pond?
 
.
Skaters
.

Laws of Nature, Naturally

Michael 1 Comment
There are only two things in life you have to do … die and pay taxes, hahahaha! How many of us have heard that tired line how many times? Actually one of those things you really don’t have to do. Are you tired of pledging a part of your income in taxes? As of last month there are 15 countries you can move to with no personal income tax*. Remember than the next time you feel the urge to complain about being gouged by the government. As for the dying part of the grand equation, well, yeah that is something you can put on your bucket list and be sure of accomplishing.
 
Don’t think though that because we’ve eliminated “paying taxes” on the things you must do list that we are down to a single item. There are the laws of nature that neither man nor beast can circumvent. That saying should go “there are only about 3,845 things you have to do” but I’ve often been accused of hyperbole so maybe not that many. But more than two.
 
For instance, you must march along with time. We cannot stop time and until we sign a treaty with the Vulcans sometime in the 23rd century and they share their vast knowledge of astrophysics we won’t be able to slingshot around the sun and go back in time either. However, thanks to the efforts of retail marketing experts we can expand time. Proof is that one day sales now routinely happen over a full weekend and a single day (Cyber Monday) can last a whole week and another (Black Friday) now takes up almost what was once an entire month. Although marketers have been improving the concept, the idea of time expansion is not new and was first developed by the United States government with the Uniform Monday Holiday Act of 1975 which stretched paltry 24 hour celebrations of key historical events over 3 days eliminating those pesky workdays between weekends and an extra day off for the holidays that had the nerve to land on a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday in certain years. 
 
An immutable law of physics is the conservation of matter which states that mass is a constant which cannot be created nor destroyed, but it can change shape or form. This is especially well documented around the holidays when the goodies on that Christmas cookie tray change from the shape of a Santa on his sleigh to the shape of your ever growing midsection. This law also governs why post New Years Resolution diets fail. You can eat all the celery you want but a pound of vegetables is still a pound and when you gobble it up that pound must be reformed into something else, most likely your waist.
 
ChristmasLights
Some things, again most noticeable during this holiday season, seem to defy this law. It is well documented that any new set of Christmas tree lights once removed from their package and placed on the tree then removed from the tree at the end of the season expands in size and never fit into the original packaging again. If matter cannot be created from where is this excess stuff transferred? I suggest you take a look at some of the most common chocolates you fill those Christmas candy dishes with. Those pound bags of colorfully wrapped Hershey’s Kisses are steadily shrinking, this year down to a trim 11 ounces. They aren’t the only ones who suffer when lights, garland, and even extension cords outgrow their storage cartons. Even the niche traditional candies are being downsized in a heroic effort to maintain the conservation of matter. The Italian delight LaFlorentine torrone is down to boxes of 7-1/2 ounces and Terry’s chocolate oranges once a proud half pound now weigh in at a hair over 6 ounces.
 
The other constant in life may be noticed only by fathers with children getting their first bikes this Christmas but is valid year round and is not gender exclusive. That is a new law of nature, the law of actual assembly time (LAAT). This applies to all toys with the back of the box fine print “some assembly required” as well as to DIY home improvement projects and with appropriate extrapolation, to luggage retrieval times at airports with more than one gate. The LAAT states to determine the actual assembly time multiply the given estimate by 3 and adjust with an additional 5% for every tool required, known as the tool locating variable. (For luggage retrieval substitute “TSA approved lock used” for “tool required.” If locks are not TSA approved actual retrieval time approaches infinity).
 
So you see there are more absolutes than death and taxes, even in The Bahamas.
—–
*Countries with no personal income tax, in case you are planning a big move sometime in the future. (You probably will notice some of these places are potential paradises while others don’t get so high a AAA travel rating. Of the most desirable places what you save on taxes may end up going to buy a quart of milk. Probably another one of those absolute laws –  The Law of You Get What You Pay For.)
 
Bahamas
Bahrain 
Brunei
Cayman Islands
Kuwait 
Maldives 
Monaco
Nauru 
Oman
Qatar
Saint Kitts and Nevis
Somalia 
United Arab Emirates 
Vanuatu 
Western Sahara

What Color Is Your Parachu– er, Sale?

Michael 2 Comments
Today is another day we’ve been waiting for. Green Monday.
 
People who do marketing know certain colors evoke certain emotions in shoppers. Red imparts urgency, limited time offers, or great reductions such as with clearance sales. Blue suggests confidence and brand trust. And green? Besides being the color of money green symbolizes healing. That must be why so many banks and hospitals use green in their logos and signage. 
 
Green also suggests environmental friendliness. Green Monday? Environmentally friendly sales Monday? Supposedly eBay came up with Green Monday some dozen years ago and claimed just that. According the online giant, online shopping is an environmentally responsible way of shopping.
 
Shopping on online indeed saves the gas and emission used and released by my car on the way to the store but I’m not sure if they count what energy is used to get the UPS truck down my street to deliver my purchases in the greening of on line buying frenzies. And have you ever bought anything from eBay? I have. The package came in a padded case wrapped in bubble wrap, packed in a cardboard sleeve within a corrugated cardboard box filled with packing peanuts. Perhaps the energy used to created all those layers doesn’t count either. In fairness to the company, the sellers are responsible for shipping their products to the buyers, eBay just sets back and collects the money. The green if you will.
 
So, no, I can’t say I’m buying the notion that Green Monday is a celebration of the environment and that every purchase we make will add to the planet’s longevity. I think Green Monday goes back to that earlier thought … it’s the color of money. 
 
20191208_231616As far as I’m concerned the color of money is a fine thing to celebrate. It will go good with the green savings I celebrated on Black Friday, or will save on linens at the January white sales, fitness and wellness equipment on Blue Monday (the third Monday of January), or if I happen to be in Southeast Asia on March 17 on candy and flowers for White Day, or almost anything else at the Red, White and Blue sales between Flag Day and the Fourth of July.
.
Hmmmm, I wonder if the best time to buy Scotch Tape is on Plaid Day.
.

What A Dump

Michael Leave a comment

It’s that time again, the time when if you don’t pull the mental chain your brain will back up and then you’ll have to get out the big plunger.

Misunderstanding

You’ll recall my recent discussion on non-dairy butter, not the concept but that the package read “butter.” Not “plant butter,” not “soy butter,” not “butter tasting butter substitute,” but “butter.” I guess I have a wider readership than even I could have imagined. Shortly after that post – ummm – posted the ACLU filed suit against Arkansas claiming the state’s new labeling law stipulating that only meat can be called meat, only milk can be called milk, only rice can be called rice, and presumably only butter can be called butter violates the manufacturers’ of the ersatz products free speech. Hmm. Now this is just a thought, but if American chicken and hog farmers actually came up with green eggs and ham and attempted to market them as “broccoli” and “kale” would that same ACLU step in to protect them?

Although I don’t like it and have said so, there is no stopping American stores from running back to school sales in July. I’m sorry but in my mind that is just way too early. And I’ve been one of those parents with a calendar on the kitchen wall crossing off the days until those kids go back to school! But I get it, it’s a once a year marketing opportunity and they have to make hay, or money, while the sun shines. But now I have a real issue with those stores. Two days ago I was in the local supermarket and at the end of the “seasonal” aisle where all the back to school items were located was a big display of Halloween candy. Come on now!

This morning a man was stopped at the local airport for carrying a loaded gun in his carry on bag. It was the 23rd such seizure this year. Today is the 210th day of 2019 so a little more frequently than once every 10 days somebody is trying to sneak a gun into the secure area of the airport. Ours is not a particularly large airport with about 400 departures a day. I can’t imagine what TSA agents at a big airport find. I said those people carrying weapons are trying to sneak a gun past security. They claim they “forgot” the gun was in their carryon or they “had it when they were at the range last week.” Did they really? Did they really bring their travel carryon to the range last week? The gun confiscated this morning had 14 bullets in the clip, the clip in the gun, and an additional bullet in the chamber. Doesn’t seem like something one could, or should “forget.”

The lawyers at Publishers Clearing House are really good. You’re not going to see them okay an ad that calls margarine butter, I mean that says “You are a winner!” No, they say you could be a winner or you might be holding the winning entry. They ain’t gonna get sued for stretching the truth. I got another one of those mailings last week. Not from PCH. From the dealership where I bought my car and have it serviced. That would be Car #2, not the daily driver although the last letter I got was in reference to my everyday vehicle. Car #1 is a ten year old Chevrolet Malibu and earlier this year the dealer sent me a notice that it was time to “exchange” that car for a new model. I agreed with them but when I went over to swap keys and registrations they really wanted me to exchange money for a new car! I knew all along they weren’t serious but I had to go over for a state inspection anyway so I thought I’d see how much I could get out of them. Not much it turned out. Last week’s letter was from a different dealer about a different car. I know it’s a marketing tool just like back to school sales in July but the letter says they need cars like mine to “fulfill special used vehicle requests.” This particular car is not a 10 year old Chevy. It’s a 20 year old Mazda Miata with not quite 31,000 miles. I bought it from this dealer and they have serviced it since it was in the internal combustion engine equivalent of diapers. They might very well have a request for such a car. But when they say “We would like to exchange your 2000 Mazda MX-5 Miata for any new or Certified Pre-Owned Mazda from our inventory,” I doubt their sincerity. But as fate would have it, Wednesday I have a service appointment there for that very car. I know just the new Miata in their inventory that would make a dandy exchange!

I feel better now that I held my occasional brain dump. Thank you for tolerating me. I’d be happy to exchange your new reading for my old writing any day!

Miata

Letting the EGGS out of the Basket

Michael Leave a comment

For the most part American marketing and merchandising has made a mockery of holidays. Thanksgiving takes a back seat to Black Friday. Washington’s Birthday isn’t even called that so the Presidents Day car sales can be stretched over weeks rather than a single weekend. Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de Mayo vie with New Year’s Eve for most traffic accident honors. Flag Day is forgotten. Memorial Day and Veterans Day would be forgotten but for gratuitous Facebook posts. New Year’s Day is really Mattress Sale Day. The Fourth of July is as much about back to school sales as celebrating the winning of the freedoms that allow free markets and the free speech to promote them. And Christmas, Christmas is the poster child holiday for Freedom of Religion protesters and rejoinders. Yet for the same most parts, Easter has been left pretty much alone.

Maybe even crass marketers saw reason to shy away from the holiest of Christian holy days. Other religious groups have had similar high holy days spared the merchandising of their sacred events. There have always been Easter sales but not outright assaults on religious sensibilities. The quiet 1990s marketing of dresses and suits was not much different than the diffident 1940s Easter bonnets sales. They were almost presented as a service. “You have something special to do; we have something special for you to wear.”

We even made it partway into the 21st century not desecrating Easter. Much. But I fear that time is over. Over the past few days I’ve seen television commercials, opened hard copy and email promotions, heard radio advertisements, and even saw on-line banner ads touting EGGS-cellent opportunities, EGGS-traspecial specials, an EGGS-travaganza of savings, and EGGS-tra Savings on all your needs. Isn’t that clever the way they made all those cute little references to EGGS. And just in time for Easter because of course, EGGS were the main course at the Last Supper. But just in case you missed it, all those references to EGGS were just like that, in all caps, E-G-G-S. One stood out in its subtlety.

HOP on over for a BASKET of savings.
You won’t have to HUNT for the best deal
At our new and pre-owned
Springtime EGGStravaganza of Savings!

(Note how they used Springtime instead of Easter so it has universal appeal.)

eggsSo far I have resisted the urge to save hundreds, even thousands during this EGGS-tra special buying time of year. I’ll spend my special time in church rather than at the car lot. I just hope like the how the commercials for tax preparations all disappear in April 16 and how political ads vanish the first Wednesday after the first Tuesday after the first Monday of November, all the EGGS will find their way back into the basket next Monday. Until then, it’s really going to be EGGS-asperating.