Tag Love Thy Neighbor

Humble is as humble does

Michael 12 Comments

It has been said that you can tell the measure of people by how they treat someone who can’t do anything for them. Perhaps by doing something as simple as pausing, paying attention, or making eye contact, or as life changing as being there for someone who just lost a loved one, is acclimating is new city, or by stepping up to volunteer after a natural (or manmade) disaster we can increase our measure.

Too often we either ignore those around us or if we do offer help or comfort, we expect praises of gratitude and a lifetime of holding someone in our debt for having done them a “good deed.”

There was a time I was probably one of the bigger violators of what is really just another way of loving our neighbors as we do ourselves. In some weird twist of expectations, I felt I was entitled to others loving me as much as I loved myself. I had become a big fish in a decidedly little pond, and it was easy to assume everyone knew me and knew I controlled what went on in my world.

Then I moved into a big pond and fish my size were decidedly quite numerous and on the little side. My only entitlement was if I did a good job this week, I could be allowed to come back and work next week. There was no longer the staff willing to do whatever I wanted but was now a team that needed to be convinced that I was capable of being a part of the solution.

It was then I learned to appreciate those working with me, others as smart and as experienced as I was but with slightly different backgrounds to pull from. I learned we pull harder when we pull together and soon was helping even in projects I was not directly responsible for but knew I or my team would be able to contribute.

I became a part of the community and was accepted as “one of them,” ultimately becoming “one of us.”

Pope Leo recently said, “May no one think they have all the answers. May each person openly share what they have.” We have wonderful gift at our disposal. Humility. For that is genuinely what being humble means. We can hurry along our way, ignore those around us, and when we do reach out it is to see what we can pull back. Or we can slow down, ignite those around us, and bring enthusiasm and joy to others without the expectation of recognition or recompense.

This week’s Uplift recounts the story of a most famous individual and perhaps his most humbling experience and how we can all learn that it is not the best known who brings the most to others, it is the one who contributes enthusiasm and joy. Check out The Humble Moviegoer at our ROAMcare website.

Two Rights Make a Wrong

Michael 4 Comments

Quite some time ago, actually nearly 4 years ago I wrote of the madman who gunned down 13 worshippers in a Pittsburgh synagogue. I don’t recall how many rounds he fired from his assault weapon that he had the right to bear but it was enough that eleven of the thirteen were perforated sufficiently to die quite dead before help arrived. He who did the shooting has yet to come to trial. Those that know are saying a trial might begin in the spring of 2023. He has been exercising his rights to challenging this or that or asking for certain reviews and considerations. At the time there was much support for the victims and their families and much publicity of the public support for the victims. No different than at any of the mass shootings periodically experience. We say we hate hate and we hate haters, then a week later the local football team wins or loses and something takes over the headlines and we forgot what we were supposed to hate. Among the talk of hating haters, very little talk of love is mentioned. It was when I published that post was that I added this picture to my blog’s footer. (I don’t know how many scroll down that far to see it and if you read this in your email or your WordPress reader, you’d never even know it was there.)  

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But this post isn’t about the insanity of mass killings, the insanity of the right to bear arms, the insanity of the legal system. It’s not even about the sanity of what loving your neighbor might do to combat the insanity of hating everybody instead. No, this post is about the insanity of the average Joe (or Jo) of expecting our “rights” to be always right.

Following the death of Queen Elizabeth II, a particular Tweet was published expressing the Tweeter’s remorse at not knowing the Queen was ill or the Tweeter would have wished her a long, painful, and tortuous road to death. It seemed cruel that someone would say so, but right or not, it is her right to say as she wishes. It also seemed inflammatory so the monitors at Twitter removed it. Within a few hours, hundreds or Tweets were published, and petitions filed supporting the Tweet and the Tweeter and condemning Twitter for removing the message. But here again, right or not, it was Twitter’s right. (Before anybody jumps on the “what about free speech” bandwagon, know that all those rights in the Bill of same are guaranteed from meddling by the government. Private parties, whether individual or corporate all have the same rights.)

This week is Banned Books Week in the USA. Each year the American Library Association celebrates the right to free expression and and directs attention to that right by challenging the parents and politicians who challenge certain publications as having no moral value and as such should be removed from libraries, schools, or anywhere children might be exposed to questionable content. A “top ten” list of of the most challenged pieces is compiled each year and published on their website. What is interesting is that many of the books are non-fiction. I’m not certain how somebody challenges the propriety of something that just is, but that is their right to question and ask for something to be taken out of the schools, just as it is the right of those who develop syllabi to use their education and experience to prepare their lesson plans and those charged with maintaining libraries to select writings from all diverse sources.

In 7 weeks, Americans will march to the polls to cast their votes for 36 governors, 33 senators, and all of the members of the House of Representatives, along with a variety of state, county, and local offices. It’s hard to tell opponents from their ads. Regardless of party, the advertising party is for the “hardworking people” and the opposition is “too radical,” “too extreme,’ or both. How is it that both sides can be right. They can’t, but the both have the right to say what they will, and others have the right to challenge them.

Rights are funny things. Somewhere along the way, in the effort to satisfy everybody, what is right seems to have gotten lost in defending the Bill of Rights. Or maybe the capitalization should be the other way. Maybe what is Right is more important that what rights are guaranteed. Can’t decide which right is right? Take a look at the bottom of my posts. Maybe the answer is there.

Our differences make us great; appreciating the differences makes us awesome! Read how we relish in what brings us joy and find your happy place cuz at ROAMcare.org.

 

A Tale of One City

Michael 2 Comments

It was the best of times, it was the worst … no, wait, that’s taken. That’s two cities anyway. How about: it was the best of intentions, it was the worst of intentions. The one city is here, the time was Saturday.

20210321_200444Saturday afternoon might have been one of the better times for this fair city as a small group peacefully assembled with speakers in support of the “Stop Asian Hate” movement, supporting the local and national Asian communities. The diverse group was mostly college aged people with some families and one celebrity who was in town filming a movie. The rally started at a corner a little bit out of the downtown district and after the speakers spoke they move to a nearby park and held a moment of silence for the those slain in Atlanta. It was a good, positive time, Definitely one of the better times. But then again . . .

Earlier Saturday a group of a few hundred gathered at the baseball stadium and accompanied by motorcycle mounted police, they march across a bridge, through town, then to the large state  park that dominates the focal point of downtown. There celebrities, local and state politicians, and candidates for upcoming races assembled to make speeches opposing the ongoing state mask mandate and protesting the results of the 2020 Presidential election. Still. One of the participants spoke about the danger of the right to bear arms “being taken away.” One of the speakers referred to Donald Trump as “the real President of the United States” from the podium. One of the marchers said “freedom is tenuous” when asked about his opposition to the mask mandate.

There is a local TV reporter who each morning posts an inspirational message to her social media accounts. Sunday’s was “Don’t wait for things to get simpler, easier, better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise you’ll run out of time.” it’s a great message. The people at the small “Stop Asian Hate” rally would get that. The people at the whatever it was supposed to be rally never could understand that and probably wouldn’t bother to try. Yet those are the people who if they did try and then stopped trying to make everything “better” by their own definition and just be happy that they have the opportunities so many other people around the world do not, there wouldn’t be a danger of not having enough time for happiness. There might be an overabundance of happiness because the rest of the world, the majority of the world I am certain, wouldn’t have to spend so much time protecting themselves from the ones who are never happy.

It’s sad that a small but so loud group of people so desperately clinging to a fantasy still garner so much attention and cause such an extreme amount of hate that a peaceful group of people, ones of all ages, colors and ethnicities, are held hostage by the fear that that desperate ones might any moment mutate into desperados.

I was right the first time I thought about it. Saturday afternoon indeed represented a better of times in my one fair city. Let’s just leave it at that.

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Spring into Action, Spring into Love

Michael 9 Comments

Spring is close to being around the corner you can smell it in the air. I cannot remember a Spring I have waited for more than this year, and that’s a lot of Springs. Talk about a winter of discontent. It should have been one of great hope. A vaccine was out and in use! Even though the first doses were administered in December, technically that was still Fall. And then it went downhill.

Right out of the gate, reports of cheating among West Point cadets hit the papers. Of course the Commander in Chief was busy trying to beg, steal, or cajole a few million nonexistent votes (oddly he never tried to buy) so why shouldn’t the youngest of the military try to game their way through the system especially when just the following day the first of over 40 pardons or sentence commutations were issued by Trump in his last month in office. December wrapped up with three people shot in a bowling alley in Illinois. January saw landslides in Norway, blizzards in Spain, and nutcases raining down on Washington DC. In February, if CoViD-19 wasn’t an infectious enough problem to deal with, avian flu broke out in Russia and an Ebola outbreak in Guinea had all of West Africa on alert. The month wrapped up with 5 dead from a shooting in Indianapolis. That lead to February opening with 4 dead in an Oklahoma shooting, and in a weird homage to December, three people were shot in a bowling alley in Central Pennsylvania. Uprisings and protests dominated the news in February and March with unrest in Myanmar, Ethiopia, Catalonia, and Somalia.

With just 3 days remaining in this winter, the Stop AAPI Hate reporting center released a report documenting 3,795 incidents of harassment, physical assault, and civil rights violations against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders since March 19, 2020 that include 503 in January of February of this year. (The Asian Pacific Planning and Policy Council (A3PCON), Chinese for Affirmative Action (CAA), and the Asian American Studies Department of San Francisco State University launched the Stop AAPI Hate reporting center on March 19, 2020.) These are only the reported incidents. It is impossible to say what the actual incident frequency is although the Pew Research Center estimates 3 in 10 Asian Americans have been verbally abused since the start of the pandemic last year.

In front of a house on a road I use often there is a sign proclaiming, “Impeach China Joe.” I doubt the people responsible for posting that sign understand what the words mean. Like most bullies, they simply repeat what the head bully says. One of their favored means of attack is denigration. In the school yard fifty years that would be “Four Eyes,” or “Stinky Pants.” Now it’s China Joe, Crazy Nancy, Braindead Bernie. Now it’s every time that somebody wants to look tough without a pack of Marlboro’s rolled in the white t-shirt sleeve, they repeat a select epithet. Even if it was just name calling to make themselves feel superior it would be so wrong, but the modern societal bullies do not stop there. Actual violence, hospitalizing and killing people make up over 10% of the reports received by Stop AAPI Hate. That was before six Asian women were killed and one other wounded in the Atlanta shootings this week.

IMG_20200726_232745We have a new season starting Saturday. Spring is supposed to be a season of rebirth, hope, and beauty. This would be a good time to start acting like reborn, hopeful, beautiful people and stop the unrelenting slide into the ugliness this country and this world have become. It will take action of your part. Positive action, not just a heart and praying hands icon on your Tweets and emails. I have said this here before, you cannot stop the hate if you are doing the hating. You must love. Make no mistake, the opposite of love is not hate. It is however the cure for hate. The opposite of love is apathy. If you are not actively loving then you are not truly loving, and if you are not loving you cannot oppose hate.

RogersClemmonsI don’t suppose that it is coincidence that Saturday is not only the first day of Spring but also Fred Rogers birthday. If I had to pick only one hero to model my life on it would be Mr. Rogers. For over thirty years Mr. Rogers was a friend to millions of young Americans, and with a diverse group of performers shared time, stories, music, and make believe. Unfortunately at the same time, thousands of young American bullies were already gearing up to throw water and hatred on the devotees of Fred Rogers gentle manner and universal friendship.

Don’t let the bullies take over. Spring into action. Spring into love!

Strength to Love

Michael 5 Comments
 
Boy I had a time coming up with today’s post. I started thinking I should do something lighthearted. It’s been a while since I’ve been particularly light about anything and the world certainly could use a break from its self-seriousness. Then I thought I should do something for Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the second of many reasons each year for banks and post offices to close while the rest of the country celebrates by buying new washer/dryer combinations or king size mattresses for the price of a queen. Then there’s the whole inauguration protest combination thing going on this week. Personally I think Twitter was about 1400 days late in pulling that particular plug and it goes to show people will believe anything they read online. And how can we let a week go by without paying homage to the real ruler of the world, Orthocoronavirinae betacoronavirus-2. In the end I decided to do what I do best and just ramble.
 
Let’s start with the good reverend doctor. Although I have not yet today opened a paper, wood based or electronic, I’m certain somebody somewhere has managed include the word “dream” in a headline, photo caption, or lede. Dr. King said more than that one phrase we associate with him almost to the exclusion of all others. I particularly like “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy” from Strength to Love, a collection of his sermons published in 1963.
 
The whole idea of of needing strength to love is so appropriate for today. Nearly 50 years after it appeared in print we are still struggling with how we mark the measure of mankind and the concept of loving our neighbors (no exceptions). We are clearly in a time of challenge and controversy and if you want to rise above the pack of animals – or crazy people dressed in animal skins – that man has become, you must accept the challenge to rise above the controversy, set it aside, and move on.
 
So I’ll offer a challenge that I know many if you don’t even need to hear. Let’s get through this week without saying anything negative about somebody who you don’t agree with or who doesn’t agree with you, whenever discussing anything stick to the facts rather than “alternate facts” and think three times before committing anything to writing – particularly electronic writing, smile at a stranger even knowing they can’t see it under your mask, and love your neighbor.
 
Can you do that? Do you have the strength to love?
 
 
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No Exceptions – Still!

Michael 6 Comments
 
I don’t know if you noticed I’ve missed quite a few Thursday posts. I’ve had lots to say, I never run out of words much to the chagrin of so many, and have gotten many posts written. It seems though that at least half of everything I’ve put down lately has gotten there through anger. Hence although they got writ only half as many got published.
 
I’ll not say anger is bad. A lot of who were are and want we’ve accomplished is because somebody was angry. Early settlers were angry at what they perceived as unfair treatment in their native lands and set out to establish new homes elsewhere resulting in most of the modern world. Pioneers in diagnostic procedures were angry that they couldn’t get a look at what was happening inside the body so they could effectively develop treatment plans and went about creating all manner of gadgetry to see what was lurking under the skin, thus the field of medical imaging was borne.
 
Those were instances of anger turned to beneficence through inspiration, imagination, and doing the hard work needed to make things better. There is anger out in the world again only much of that anger is over pettiness. In a world where almost 1.7 million people have lost their lives to the no longer novel virus SARS-CoV2 and its spiffy street name CoVid-19 we get angry that we cannot fill a football stadium with tens of thousands of screaming fans to watch 22 college “graduates” concuss each other. Or we get angry enough to file suit against a neighbor seeking damages for pain and suffering when he (or whatever freaking pronoun is politically correct this week) put up a campaign sign in his front yard blocking the view of the campaign sign Neighbor One put up on his yard for the opposing candidate of course. To anybody who thinks these are important expressions of personal liberties, you’re stupid!
 
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This week marked the second anniversary of the mass killing of eleven people attending services at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. At the time I changed the banner on this blog to the sign “Love Thy Neighbor – No Exceptions.” Rallies were held, the obligatory pop-up memorial overflowed with flowers, and people bought up t-shirts, hats, and flags declaring the city is “Stronger Than Hate.” Two years later people are wearing those shirts to riots, and inventing new derogatory names to call people with political views different from theirs.
 
Life in America has become a series of memes, the 21st century version of sound bites, where it’s easier to wear a red hat or a string of pearls than to engage in meaningful dialogue. Where its easier to say hate won’t win than to act like I love you.  
 
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Alive and Kicking

Michael 2 Comments
I’ve missed some of my “regular “posting days but not to worry, I’m still alive and kicking. You may recall I’m in the midst of preparing for a move and that has taken me to places filled with cardboard boxes and bubble wrap and tape that sticks to everything except cardboard boxes. But I am quite alive and desperately kicking. I haven’t always been here to write and occassionally I don’t even get to read as much as I’d like, but… well, as I said I’m still alive and kicking. Now just in case you might have missed some of the news, I took some time over the weekend to catch up on it and I’ve found I am not the only thing you might have mistaken as being out of your lives but in reality is still A and K.
 
Also very much alive is:
 
Working from home. I don’t know what the conditions are around you but around me quarantine orders are relaxing. Retail businesses are opening and some restaurants have either reopened their doors to half capacity crowds or have co-opted outdoor space, or both, to satisfy the eating out crowd at acceptably social distances. This has “resurrected” an early casualty of the virus, traffic. But office based businesses are still mostly still home based and you can tell by the way the group dog walks happen every day at 8:30, 12:30 and 4:30.
 
Spam calls: What looked to be another early virus casualty, unsolicited sales calls and robocalls have proved to be rich in COVID antibodies and are thriving once again. More likely the robo-coders got established in their home offices and the rest is weird history.
 
Greed: If you think really hard you might remember those early fund raisers, donations, food distributions, and loan/living expense forgiveness programs that were once all the headlines. It took less than a fiscal quarter for the layoffs, contract renegotiations, and bankruptcies to re-capture the headlines. 
 
Hatred: I’ll leave this to your nightly news.
 
Stupid memes: In typical American fashion we can’t let a crisis go by without demonstrating that we can overdo everything. Robert Orben, a professional comedy writer known for his work in early telelvision including the Jack Parr and Red Skelton shows and author of The Speakers Handbook of Humor, said: 
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee – or laugh.
Unfortunately it’s the amateur comedy writers who feel they know just the right clip to exploit to keep is laughing through the crisis. They don’t.
20200615_201912That virus thing: Again, I don’t know what the conditions are around you but around me I’m expecting all heck to break loose in another week or two. Record positive results and hospitalizations have been recorded in Texas, Florida, California, and both Carolinas, where quarantines were lifted, beaches opened, and social distancing ignored. I know it is politically incorrect to say but you can’t not expect there to be some virulent response to the amassed masses no matter how righteous the cause. The virus doesn’t care.
 
Yep, all of the above are alive and kicking. In fact, the only thing that seems to be in short supply is some love for a fellow human. How about it, can you spare a cup of love?
 
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Let’s All Fall Back a Bit

Michael 5 Comments

This weekend Americans (and some others) go through that twice yearly madness of figuring out exactly how to open the back of the antique mantel clock or adjust the electronic version in the middle of the dash of your mid-nineties jalopy while reciting (mentally, hopefully) “spring forward, fall back” as the debate over the necessity for Daylight Saving Time and/or Standard Time plays out on the nation’s talk radio shows.

While that is going on I’d like to ask everybody to fall back just a little more than the proscribed one hour. Let’s shoot for, oh how about 60 years. That would make it 1958. The legendary ’57 Chevy Bell Air would be just a used car (and it’s Nomad counterpart a regular old (eww) station wagon, Jack Paar was hosting the Tonight Show, “It’s All in the Game” was in its 6th and final week as the Billboard #1 Single, and I was not yet allowed to cross the street by myself.

Ok, I’m not a nostalgia freak. I could really care less that Conway Twitty would wrest the top spot in the charts from Tommy Edwards next week with “It’s Only Make Believe.” (But I was pretty tickled that later on in the year The Chipmunks with David Seville would have the top selling record with their iconic Christmas song.) And 1958 had a lot going against it also. Unrest was escalating in Vietnam, the U.S. and Russia (then the USSR) were both putting the finishing touches on the first intercontinental ballistic missiles while they and Great Britain began conducting atmospheric nuclear tests, and a three year famine would begin in China ultimately taking 30 million lives.

Something that happened in 1958 that could be good or bad actually went on a little earlier than early November. September 12 actually. That’s when Jack Kilby discovered (developed? perfected? made usable?) the microchip, the heart of integrated circuitry. Because of him we have cars that can let you know when you wander out of your lane, phones we can carry around with us, computer assisted tomography that allow doctors to see inside us (that’s the CAT in CAT scan in case you – yeah, you knew, sorry), and (drum roll please) the Internet.

Most days I’m OK with the cars and the phones and even with the CAT scans. But lately I’ve been really ambivalent about this Internet thing. Of course if it wasn’t for it you’d not be able to read these ramblings, and for that you might be more grateful than I’ll ever know. But without it I’d not be able to see firsthand just how two faced, insincere, hurtful, and to be blunt, disgusting people have become. To not be exposed to such constant streams of hatred I’d gladly give up everything new from these 60 years.

It’s not been a week since eleven congregants were gunned down in a Pittsburgh synagogue. A day after that horrific occurrence a vigil was held to remember the victims and speaker after speaker including local politicians stood before the community and said hate cannot win, everybody should be and is welcome here. A day after that momentous event those same politicians were denouncing members of the opposing party, urging other politicians to stay away, and continuing to air the most vile political ads to date  while jockeying for position ahead of next Tuesday’s general election. It only took two days for politicians to revert to being their typical unsavory selves, to letting the public know how unsuitable, untrustworthy, and dishonest their opponent is and oddly saying little about themselves (or perhaps much about themselves) at the same time. With the help of the Internet and news sites’ comments areas, the followers of this party or that have marched in line spewing the insults that they’ve taken the last two years to perfect.

It’s in everybody’s best interest to live kindly and peacefully. Yes, you get to pick and choose who you are going up like just as others can decide to like to you or not. But nobody – NOBODY – has the right to hate. Lies are hate. Saying what you think people want to hear then doing the opposite is hate. Being a sheep isn’t hate but it is stupid. If we can’t rely on those we look to for leadership and guidance to take the time to demonstrate their commitment to not letting hate win, then we’re going to have to do it ourselves.

Maybe a starting point would be to spend some time face to face with your neighbor. Of course you’ll have to put down your phone to do that. Fortunately because of the efforts of Mr. Kilby, you can fit it into your pocket while taking that time.

Fall back this weekend. However far you’re comfortable going.