Do you ever do something and surprise yourself at how profound you are? Me neither, but I did something that really had me thinking for a few days. I kept saying to myself “Yeah, that’s me, damn it. I can do better!”
Many of you know that in an alternate universe I am co-founder of an education foundation, more life and self-preservation than education but you have to slot these things somewhere. One of our routines is a weekly social media fixture, A Moment of Motivation, in our words, “small doses of positivity.” (I came up with that!)
Let me tell you, it’s hard work to build up to a single motivating moment. In preparation for this morning’s release, I drafted the first iteration of image and theme: Be Kind, Be Present, Be Grateful.
Then started the series of texts back and forth. (You want motivation? You have to be motivated to work together when you’re separated by 2100 miles and three time-zones. But that’s a different story.) After discussion, major changes, minor refinements, lots word-smithing, my partner and I settled on: Don’t Be a Busy Bee – Bee in the Present. Now with an image and theme it was up to me to come up with a motivating message to accompany it. Here is the final form:
“Life is a busy place. We come here every morning and start the day with a mental list of things to do.
Meetings meals, classes, jobs, tests, housework, work work…stop!
Stop doing and start being!
Sit, pray, meditate, experience nature, see the people around you. Be part of the world.
Stop making a living. Start making a life.
Be present!”
Now if you ask me, I say that’s excellent advice. Boy I wish I had thought of that forty years ago! Even without “work” I start each day asking myself, “What am I going to do today?” Did I learn anything from my experiences? Maybe from the experience of getting it wrong. How often as a young professional did I tell my young family, “See you later, I have a meeting. No nothing to do with work but the right people will be there and I have to make myself seen.” Or not thinking twice about taking on the extra project at work because it will look good on the resume. “So what if it means staying home and not joining everyone for a week at the shore? When will a chance like this come again?” What seemed like a justification for doing the work are the very same words I wish I had use to talk myself out of that work. Even today I tend to skew everything in terms of “what may be” rather than in the “what am I,” always looking at what could happen if I do or don’t do something, say or don’t say something, go or not go somewhere. Yes, we need to plan, we need to set goals and we need to be certain we do the things that will keep us around for a long time for those who love and need us. But we need to also see that the most important thing is why we are, not the who or what we are.
We cannot simply concentrate on the task, like the bees setting out to gather nectar. Nor can we sit on the outside waiting for something to happen. We have to immerse ourselves in everything around us. We are part of the beauty of the world, and we are loved for that. Not for the work we accomplish or the words we write. We are loved because we are us. We belong because of who we are. When you wake tomorrow and ask yourself, “What am I going to do today?” make the first item on the to do list, “sit, pray, meditate, and experience,” and then repeat as necessary.
Stop making a living. Start making a life. Don’t be so busy. Be present!
(If you have the urge please follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn at @roamcare or visit our website http://www.roamcare.org)
Fred Rogers knew about special days. He closed each episode of his Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood television show with “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” There was no question that he meant it and that every day was special to him. In a 2019 Los Angeles Times interview, his widow Joanne said, “People invariably say, ‘Well, I can’t do that, but I sure do admire him. I would love to do it.’ Well, you can do it. I’m convinced there are lots of Fred Rogerses out there.” Fred Rogers made everyone feel special because he genuinely cared for people and was not afraid to express it.
The ultimate good job is winning the championship. The NHL hockey championship tournament is a grueling event. After an 82 game regular season, the top 16 teams (8 from each conference) play a four round best of seven elimination tournament. It takes twenty winning games to win the championship. That’s nearly 25% as long as the regular season. It could take as long as 28 games to play to the finish. That’s like playing another third of a season. After each round only one team moves on. And for each round, every year, for as many years as the tournament has ever been played, and for as many years as the tournament will ever be played, when that one team wins that fourth game and is ready to move on, they and the team whose season has ended meet at center ice and every player on each team shakes the hand of his opponent player and coach, wishing them well as they move on and thanking them for a game well played. No gloating. No whining. No whimpering. Only accepting.
The Real Reality Show Blog 