Tag Jobs

Real life advice for real life

Michael 12 Comments

I would like to wish the fathers out there a belated Happy Father’s Day, those celebrating a Happy Juneteenth, and to everyone, the words of life advice from a father who has served many years of life.

I got this idea from last week’s post when I suggested one who serves food would be better received (and probably better tipped) if that one did not have a tattoo of a spider on the back of their hand. I realized then that I had a wealth of advice just waiting to spill forth from my brain and what better place for it to spill than on here? Just some morsels of common sense sprinkled over some of the nonsensical things I’ve lately noticed.

For example. If you own a bar, restaurant, bar and restaurant, diner, pizza parlor, sandwich shop, or similar, and you find yourself a little short staffed, don’t mount on the largest sign you can find “Servers, cooks, bartenders, dishwashers wanted” in the largest letters you can find and post said sign outside your main entrance door. You would be better served to post a sign that says “Please don’t come here to eat unless you enjoy waiting hours before being served.”

Likewise to the local auto repair shop owner with the sign “Mechanics needed” and is wondering why business has taken a sudden downturn.

I’m not sure anyone ever put “Spam Spreader” on their resume, but someone must write and distribute those aberrations to polite electronic mail correspondence. My advice to whomever it may be, don’t use flags, up arrow notations of urgency, or more than 4 emojis in the subject line. I can’t think of one legitimate email I’ve ever received that came with 🔈😮🔥🚨 as part of the subject that had me thinking “Oh my gosh, I better open this email before I do anything else or the world may end!”

While I’m thinking about resumes, if you should happen to think about applying for one of those open waitresses, cooks, or mechanics positions, leave “content creator” off yours. I’ve actually seen that on resumes and it didn’t impress me, and to honest, I’m usually quite impressionable.

Also apropos resumes, if you are employed as one who gets to send emails, text messages, or even real mail to potential job candidates and you start your spiel with “I found your resume on line and know you would be perfect for a position we are trying to fill,” please read the resume, or the next time someone wants to hire me as medical director at some hospital in a “world famous tourist location,” I may take you up on that, especially if you’re covering travel and expenses (including a plus one, naturally).

Finally, to those seeking a position in government like, I don’t know, maybe President, it’s in bad taste to put out TV, radio, internet, and mail ads suggesting your opponent is “dishonest” if you’ve just been found guilty of a few dozen felonies. Just my opinion.

Have a happy week everyone – and a happy federal holiday to those in states where it’s not illegal to celebrate it.

One way to survive in this crazy world is making the most of every hour. Not with a strict schedule and sticking to a to-do list. It’s implementing a to-don’t list. Yes, the secret to doing efficiently and effectively is knowing what not to do. We know  we said so in the latest Uplift!

Blog Art 2

 

Booming Business

Michael 3 Comments
In the midst of non-essential businesses curtailing operations, the temporary closing of schools and businesses, and the actual loss of some businesses already, there are some operations that are operating and operating at full speed and then some. 
 
Grocery stores, general merchandisers, and warehouse clubs are adding personnel to clean, stock, pack, and sell. Delivery services are increasing their driving corps. States across the country are lifting reinstatement and reciprocity criteria so retired and out of state health care workers can fill needed additional positions. Cleaning services, particularly in health care facilities can use every extra body they can get behind a cleaning cart. 
 
But there is another profession nobody saw the need for six weeks ago. And frankly I’m not sure I see the need even now but they have exploded on to the scene. They are the sign language interpreters. Other than at times of natural disasters these are people nobody ever sees. And then they are only seen somewhere in the vicinity of the governor or mayor or disaster relief coordinator. If the interpreter is not close enough to be in the same camera shot as the speaker, he or she gets a special circle superimposed on the screen. Why?
 
I’m not being callous. I believe the hearing challenged deserve to be kept abreast of the important news of the day but who decided they only need to be kept so abreast during times of major calamity. Apparently that is the only time they matter. There is nobody signing the daily news. If it is important enough for the hearing public to know that the city school prom has been cancelled and there will be a porch concert this weekend, is it not be equally important that non-hearing viewers of the news get that information? Would it not actually make more sense that the weather report that forecasts the coming hurricane be signed for the hearing impaired rather than the after the fact recognition that a hurricane came by and did a lot of damage. In my experience you don’t need to be able to hear to recognize that the beachfront is closed until further notice.
 
And why are the words of only governors, mayors, or disaster relief coordinators translated. Why doesn’t the President get a sign interpreter. Before you run off with the litany of Trump jokes and “they should be glad they don’t have to hear him” comments, Mr. Obama never shared a television screen with a signer in a bubble either. You’d think the hearing challenged might be interested in an occasional State of the Union address.
 
Oh, wait a minute. You’re going to say the news and other televised events don’t need an interpreter because they are all available now with closed captioning. Then why are they at the disaster coverages? Are they not captioned also? It can’t be for the reporters who are there and not watching on telelvision, and who else but reporters are at the press briefings? Even so, that would be an extremely difficult position to put a non-hearing reporter. There are actually three common American English sign languages (American Sign Language, Pidgin Signed English, and Signing Exact English) and none is a direct translation of the spoken word. It is estimated that at best 80% of the spoken word can be accurately translated and interpreted as intended, a little over 60% is the average translation rate. Is that good enough for the news?
 
So you see, that’s why I’m not so sure that it there is such a need for the sign language interpreter. But I’m not so sure that there isn’t either. And all that is okay. At least they are out doing something, even if people aren’t sure what that is. They are out there doing their thing, providing a service, adding to the information pool.
 
And if it seems like they are there only at disasters and only when the cameras are rolling that gives them a lot in common with those they are translating. 
 
Now,
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Working It Out

Michael 5 Comments

Every now and then I get it into my mind that I should go back to work. Most of the time that happens when I’m asleep in the form of a dream (or nightmare if you will). Some of the time it happens when my every so often disability recertification comes in the mail. In the past few days both of those things happened. And then I thought, if I had to, what would I do?

I couldn’t do what I used to do or I’d be doing it. Whatever it would be it should be something that I don’t have to think much while I’m doing it. I had a lifetime of thinking. I’d want something mostly brainless.

It shouldn’t be anything that requires a lot of sitting. I spend so much time sitting during dialysis (so I can “live a normal life” while I’m not on dialysis) and after dialysis (so I can recover from dialysis) that standing is actually refreshing. But it couldn’t be anything where I had to stand for more than a half hour at a time. I’m good on my feet in one place for around 30 minutes and then I fall over. Sometimes it’s a little more, sometimes a little less, but 30 minutes is a good starting point. Or more appropriately, stopping point. Limited standing would be good.

The local dollar store had a sign up for a part time cashier. I love dollar stores and it would be a financial plus for them since my little salary would certainly turn into dollars spent there. But I’m certain they don’t have half hour shifts and I’m just as certain they wouldn’t take kindly to me teetering, tottering, then toppling a few times each day, ADA regs notwithstanding.

HelpWantedA great standing job would be TV weather person. They only stand in front of the big screen for 2 or 3 minutes then it’s back to checking the weather app on the phone to prepare for the next segment. I can do that. I even already have the app on my phone. Two actually. The one that I wanted and downloaded myself and the one that magically showed up the last time my phone automatically updated itself from wherever it automatically updates itself. If I would be willing to move I can probably do it without either of those apps. I’m certain that in San Diego I can go on air and say “tomorrow will be warm and sunny,” and be right 362 days of the year, 363 on leap years.

A short period standing job would be good but would more likely still have to invented. What else is out there to do? Driving. I like to drive and I know my way around town. I could drive something, but not for a cab company, or worse, an app based ride hailing service. I wouldn’t even pick up a hitchhiker back in the last century when thumbing on the open road was right between VW bus and Greyhound as the most popular means of interstate travel. Depending on the kindness of strangers is not my idea of gainful employment.

Limo driver might work. Oh the people who climb into the back of a limousine are just as strange as those crawling into the back of a taxi and then they aren’t nearly as strange as those crawling into the back of a taxi. You can tell that by the way even though some limos have glass partitions between driver and passages they are rarely bullet proof. Car lot courtesy van driver is another stranger driver job I can get along with. Again, they are still strangers but the people I would be working for are holding the strangers’ cars hostage. The problem is that sometimes those drivers double as lot attendants and that means clearing cars of ice and snow in the winter and washing them year round. That makes it all much too much like a job.

What else? I thought I’d find out and check some ads. I was still interested in possible jobs but not that interested that I wanted to open up a browser and check a real job site. I discovered that there are still want ads in the paper. A lot of them are for security guards. That wouldn’t work for all kinds of reasons. Security guards either sit a lot (see above), stand a lot (see above), or walk a lot (not even considered enough to be included above). No to guarding.

But I found a job in the paper that seemed ideal. It was titled “staffing assistant” and the responsibilities included “reviewing and recommending job applicants, and making staffing recommendations.” I figured I could review my background, recommend they hire me, then further recommend my job to be home based and with no additional responsibilities.”

Now we’re talking dream. No nightmares need apply.

 

Who Paid You Today?

Michael Leave a comment

I was reading about the top employers in each state – because I have that kind of time. A pattern showed up and to be honest, I’m not sure if it’s a disturbing pattern or patently disturbing.

Two are two business types that are the dominant employers in these United States. Those are universities and their affiliated healthcare systems, and Wal-Mart. You say you’re sick of hearing about Wal-Mart. That’s ok because there are plenty of hospitals out there to take care of that for you.

Where are the entrepreneurs who are not relying on your health insurance or your paycheck from those relying on your health insurance?  There are in the far reaches of the country. In Alaska, the Anchorage Airport ranks number one. It is also number one in the world for floatplanes. Pratt and Whitney dominates employment in Connecticut. That’s where they make airplane jet engines that all of the Boeing employees use to make it the top employer in Washington. Maine’s biggest human resourcer is the Hannaford supermarket chain. Food is also big in New Jersey where the ShopRite subsidiary Wakefern Food Corp. hires more Jersey boys and girls than any other in the state. Nevada has the country’s biggest share of gambling revenue and the MGM Grand hires the most employees in that state.

In a few states health care manages to lead employment figures without a university feeding their researchers. Those are Delaware, Rhode Island, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Colorado, and Utah.  Kansas, Hawaii, Wisconsin, Nebraska, and New York have university systems without affiliated hospitals.  Those guys should get together or risk going through the record books with asterisks next to them.

Clearly I have too much time on my hands.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Considering My Options

Michael Leave a comment

Just a couple of years ago we proposed some nifty retirement jobs even though retirement was “years and years” away. (See Who Could Ask For Anything More.) Now, just 2 years later I find myself in a forced early retirement and those jobs look even niftier. But the niftiest one was even a consideration back then.

As fun as serving ice cream, driving a limo, or tending bar (on the slow nights) might be, I want to spend my golden years (ok, silver) (ok, ok, bronze) (but shiny bronze) (where was I?) I want to spend my after-work years as part of Jeopardy’s Clue Crew. If you’re a fan you know the Clue Crew. They are the intrepid 3-some who do the narratives for the visual clue in the background. I assumed they filmed those shots in front of a green screen and the clue was painted in by computer. Recently I found out those guys actually travel to the locale of the category in question. Or would that be ‘in answer?’ Either way, that is so cool.

Here’s why I would be the perfect addition to the Clue Crew. I like to travel, I read and speak well, I already know a bunch of useless facts, and I’ve been watching Jeopardy since Art Fleming read the answers.

Now all I have to do is get Alex to read the preceding paragraph, pack my bags, and get a passport. Retirement is going to be so cool!

That’s what I think. Really. How ’bout you?

Who Could Ask For Anything More

Michael 1 Comment

Every now and then we look forward to retirement.  Oh, that is going to be years and years away, but it’s nice to sit and dream.  It seems that there are lots of retired people we know who have jobs.  Retirement jobs.  They tend bar on the slow nights, they drive limos, or they sit behind the big desk being the building receptionist.

That got us to thinking, if we didn’t have to work for money to live on, what would be our ideal jobs.  She of We would like to make floral arrangements or on a grander scale, design gardens.  He of We wants to own a Dairy Queen.  Nice, quiet, safe jobs.

But then we got to thinking, sometimes one could have the nice, quiet, safe job from the worker perspective, but how about those jobs that from the patrons perspective are the perfect jobs.  (When we think, we think big.  Or at least different.)  So what are the jobs that nobody can ever complain about when they are the patrons?

Let’s start with the ice cream stand.  For the worker it can be a headache sometimes.  Lines of Little Leaguers waiting for their celebratory soft serve next to the lines of losers waiting for their consolation cone.  But even though there are lines and the workers are working up a sweat scooping out the good stuff, nobody in line at the Dairy Queen, et. al. is in a bad mood.  They know there will be a sweet treat for them at the end of their wait and they’re willing to wait it.  Much different from the lines at the driver license picture taking place.

It seems nobody ever gets stressed at a book store.  We know most everybody is saying that book stores are a dying business but while they are still breathing they are places where the customer is always tranquil.  What’s to be upset over?  Maybe a book is out of print. It could be a little disheartening and probably it could be found on the Internet anyway.  But at the bookstore, there’s someone there to pour over the computer screen, slogging through the search engines, looking for the elusive title.  All the while our intrepid customer is skimming the best sellers, having a cappuccino and colache, and listening to the CD samplers in the music section.

A place where stress is the norm for the worker but the patrons are de-stressed to the max is at the amusement park.  The employees at the parks have it rough.  They are standing many hours and standing those hours in hot sun.  If they aren’t standing they are leaning against hard metal chair-like props.  And for the poor souls who maintain rides that ride in circles there is always that trip out to the ride proper to clean up one of the few times the rider might be just a tad stressed.  But we love these worker bees.  With a punch of a button or a pull on a lever they do to us what amusement parks are intended to do.  They amuse.  And what can be better than that?

Yes, there are those jobs that are ideal jobs but really, how many of us get them anyway.  The better ideal jobs are the ones somebody else is doing that we think are ideal because of the benefits we reap.  That might be just a little selfish but don’t we get to be that sometime?  We vote yes!

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Credit Where Credit Is Due?

Michael 1 Comment

Over the last couple of weeks, we’ve seen a lot of movies.  It must be winter.  It’s much more comfortable sitting in a cozy theater nibbling on popcorn than speeding around an ice skating rink at 15 miles per hour in 15 degree weather.  Then again, maybe we just like movies better.  For whatever reason, over the last couple of weeks we’ve seen a lot of movies.

You’ll remember that a couple of weeks ago we wrote about watching a television network’s idea of the greatest movie ever filmed.  We disagreed with that but we watched it all the way through.  It was from the 1940’s so you really didn’t have to watch it all the way through to read all the credits.  They were all in front of the movie, some before the title, some after, and all of them taking a grand total of about a minute to read.

The movie that we saw most recently was filmed in the 1990’s and was nobody’s pick of the greatest movie ever filmed but not a bad story.  We stayed at the end of the movie to read the credits all the way through.  That took about 7 minutes.  Then there was the last of the new releases that we saw in the cozy theater with the popcorn.  It was nominated for a bazillion Academy Awards and someday will be on somebody’s list of the greatest movies ever filmed but we’ll probably disagree with that also.  We stayed all the way through to read those credits and those took about 15 minutes to read. 

So where are we going with this?  We aren’t sure either but we wonder who all these people are.  Some of them clearly have something to do with the movie.  That might be the Third Unit Director.  Director of any unit should have something to do with the movie important enough to get noticed.  But Assistant Paint Foreman?  We’re not kidding.  How about Catering Auditor?  We don’t doubt that somewhere in the making of this movie somebody audited the caterer’s invoices.  And for that they are mentioned at the end of the movie.  Hmm.   

Many people are involved in bringing you your morning newspaper.  There are the writers, the editors, the publisher.  These peoples’ names are prominently mentioned so you can ooh and ahh over them.  And several people are required to get you your semi-annual teeth cleaning.  There is the dentist and then there is the hygienist, and the office receptionist.  You probably won’t see the name of the person who services the dental chair on your dentist’s statement any more than you’ll see the person who changes the oil in the car of the person who delivers you newspaper noted on the masthead.  Yet aren’t these the equivalent of the catering auditor? 

So we have to ask, are we being too generous with the credits for those who work in the movies, or not generous enough with those who really make a difference in our lives.  We wonder about that.  We really do.

 

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Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?