Tag IQ

Why We Eat

Michael 8 Comments

It’s the time of year that posts are flying all over the Internet with main dish recipes and cookie recipes and appetizers that don’t require cooking recipes and make ahead dessert recipes and the world’s best ever side dishes recipes. I gain weight every day just opening my tablet.

Seriously, I am gaining weight every day. I know because I weigh myself every day. There might be a little vanity in there. After years of avoiding scales because my weight was approaching numbers usually reserved for poor credit scores it’s refreshing to step on a scale and see a number more closely associated with IQ test scores. (Not my IQ but I’m ok with that. The world needs average people too.) Anyway, I get on the scale every morning and I see a number just a little higher than the day before. Over the last week I’d say a couple of pounds higher.* And I know why.

It’s not because of all the cookie pictures Facebook. Although they certainly aren’t helping. I would go through this unexplained weight gain when I was working, specifically anytime I was about to go out on a business trip.

Regular readers with good memories and occasional readers who visited just the right posts know that back in a different day when I was working I worked for a national health care company. An extra duty as assigned was visiting other facilities to do operational reviews. Unlike McDonald’s or Wendy’s which have the same food from coast to coast, our hospitals did not share that familiarity. There were some pretty bad cafeterias in those places. So I think subconsciously when I knew I was going away I’d eat a lot. Why ever it was, I knew that whenever I was going somewhere I was going at least two pounds heavier than the week before.

So, if we are to believe that a) there are no coincidences, b) the past is a harbinger of the future, and c) I historically always use three examples, I am gaining that weight for a reason and it has nothing to do with water weight gain and/or Christmas cookies in the kitchen. I’m going on a trip! Now since I haven’t planned anything on my own and since neither my bank balance nor my credit score is sufficient to finance a trip much farther than 12 to 15 miles down the road**, somebody is giving me a vacation for Christmas!***

Boy I hope it’s somewhere where sun block is recommended.

*For those of you of the metric persuasion that “couple of pounds” would be about a kilogram if you subscribe that a pound is 2.2kg or 1kg=0.454lb. I used to know why the abbreviation for pound is “lb.” but I don’t remember right now and it’s not all that important anyway. Probably more important is if you are somewhere that requires me clarifying the relationship between pounds and kilograms, do you also require clarification of the American credit score (or debt score as some would insist)? If you do, well, there is no reasonable explanation but the lowest FICO score possible is 300. In the VantageScore system the lowest score is 501. See. No sense at all. Just like the lowest SAT score is 400 but the lowest PSAT is 320. Oh. What’s SAT? This is going to take another post. My weight approached the lowest FICO score, not the VantageScore.

**19 to 24 kilometers (We really need to universalize weights and measures.)

***Holiday (We really need to universalize English too.)

It’s a Great Time to Be a Nerd

Michael Leave a comment

Did you hear the news? The folks behind Lumosity have been fined $2 million for deceptive marketing practices. Seems their ads claim their brain training had proven ability to increase brain function and ward off degenerative brain disease. Problem was they had no proof of that proven ability. You would think that a company touting its ability to increase cognitive function would know that proof is required to prove “proven” competency. Any geek can tell you that. Clearly this is a nerd-challenged company.

If any of those responsible for this marketing boo-boo are reading, please take a bit of advice from this ‘Proud to be a Nerd’ nerd. People want to be recognized for being smart. If you want to sell more subscriptions, toss in some bragging rights. How do I know? All you have to do is check the TV listings.

Suddenly, nerds are the in-crowd. Jeopardy has always been a huge hit. I remember watching Jeopardy in a bar, during happy hour, everybody shouting out questions, some even correctly. (Trivia nights continue to be a hot draw at many local watering holes.) The History Channel recently debuted a new series, The Smartest Guy in the Room. This show pits two of three everyday Joe’s (a bartender, a doorman, and a teacher’s aid against each other to solve challenges designed by the third. Did I mention that all three have IQs greater than 140 putting them in the genius range? Lifetime is resuming its series where twelve child geniuses compete for a $100,000 scholarship.

Geniuses abound in television world and they make it look so fun or exciting that we all want to be like them. Who hasn’t wanted to be Doogie Howser or Angus MacGyver (yes, he had a first name)? From the gang on The Big Bang Theory to the team at Scorpion, geniuses routinely entertain and amaze us. Clearly, being smart has some benefits.

Those Saturday mornings spent at student debates, speech competitions, science fairs, and math challenges have already increased out brain function and hopefully will ward off dementia. And without any monthly subscription fees (except for cable TV).

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?