Tag Holidays

Does this sweater make me look fat?

Michael Leave a comment

You have one more week to plan for it. National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is next Friday, December 18. Those of you in a different nation do not fret. Even though titled “National,” the Ugly Christmas Sweater Day event is celebrated the third Friday of December worldwide.

Celebrate is certainly appropriate. Only in its fifth official unofficial year it has sparked a national 5K run benefitting Save the Children and a once a year excuse to wear something comfortable to work.

I think it’s your basic tons of fun (or kilograms of cool for those metrically inclined). But this is from someone who used to wear a tux, top hat, and groundhog lapel plush to work every February 2. Wearing a brightly (and sometimes lighted) pullover to work is almost conservative dress.

What I don’t understand is why we insist on calling it an “Ugly Christmas Sweater?” They may be loudly colored, gaudily patterned, and outrageously unflattering but that doesn’t make them ugly. Indeed, ugly and Christmas are two words that just don’t go together.

Not at all. Not at all indeed.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Brown is the New Gold

Michael Leave a comment

NOTE: My apologies. Obviously those of you who like brownies know that National Brownie Day is December 8, not the generic “tomorrow” stated here. This wasn’t supposed to be released until Monday, Dec. 7. (It hadn’t even been proofed don’t you know!) Even in the best of worlds, things get screwed up and I’m hardly the best in this world – or any other even. Anyway, During this time we all get way too much in our e-mails so to give you who follow the RRSB at least a little break, I’ve held back what should have been posted today until Monday, and here today is the final (and finally proof-read) version of Brown is the New Gold. And it’s only 4 days early – but you don’t need me to tell you that! Have a great weekend.

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There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who like brownies and somebody else somewhere.

Pity poor Gingerbread Man. This close to Christmas, Mr. Man’s main season, and he has to follow National Brownie Day. That’s right, tomorrow is National Brownie Day but since you’re one of those who like brownies, you don’t need me to tell you that.

I don’t think anybody really knows exactly who started baking brownies. There is that cute story about the wife of the guy who owned the Palmer House in Chicago (that would be Mrs. Palmer the wife of Mr. Palmer who owned the Palmer House in Chicago) who needed a unique dessert for a women’s group (that would be Mrs. Palmer) so he (Mr. Palmer) asked the Palmer House chef to make something unique. Just like that. And just like that he did. But that was like in 1902 and there seemed to be recipes floating around for brownies since 1894 but you don’t need me to tell you that.

Of course, those early, early brownies were more like today’s blondies which had and still have no chocolate so how can they be brownies even though they use brown sugar or maybe back then molasses which is how you make brown sugar and that could be the origin of the name brownie but you don’t need me to tell you that.

The first recipes for brownies with chocolate seemed to show up sometime between 1899 and 1904 which put Mrs. Palmer’s unique dessert right in the middle of it all but of course, as one of those who do rather than the one somebody else, you don’t need me to tell you that. (Did you ever notice that even though unique is a dandy Scrabble word you never get the other tiles you need when you draw the Q?) (But I digress.)

I think that brownies are probably the universal dessert because you can make them however you like – chewy, cakey, with nuts, without nuts, with powdered sugar, with chocolate icing, with nothing at all, with whatever strikes your fancy. Or your plain. But then, you don’t need me to tell you that.

But I’ll tell you this, it doesn’t get any better than that. Happy Brownie Day!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater

Michael 1 Comment

If Peter, Peter was dining on that big orange gourd today he’d have a hard time finding a pumpkin shell for the Missus. That’s because they are making everything out of pumpkin these days. There’s so much pumpkin out there they have to be using every bit of it, including the shells!

Just a couple of weeks ago I wondered about the early emergence of pumpkin beer. (See “So They Say,” August 24, 2015.) And a year ago I wondered about the preponderance of pumpkin everythings. (See “It’s the Not So Great Pumpkin,” October 20, 2014.) This week we can combine the two. Just in one supermarket ad flyer that came out so early in September the days were still in single digits there appeared sixteen ways to eat your pumpkin – all on one page. Peter, Peter would have a field day!

There are pumpkin cookies, cakes, and coffee like always. There’s pumpkin yogurt, granola, and gelato for the adventurous. There is pumpkin bisque and pumpkin ravioli for those of questionable stability. And there will be more when we eventually actually enter fall.

One thing we’ll probably not see at all, though, is pumpkin tea. Did you ever notice that coffee drinkers get the odd flavors associated with holidays and seasons? Coffee comes in peppermint, cider, jelly bean, and, of course, pumpkin flavors. Tea is just tea. Oh there are herbal varieties and different tea flavors but those are either all teas or not teas at all. And they don’t change with the weather. A tea drinker can get his or her favorite variety year round.

I didn’t see an ad for pumpkin flavored chewing gum this year. Yet. Last year it was pretty close to Halloween before that item showed up in an ad. I did see an ad for pumpkin flavored tortilla chips. Don’t forget the queso.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Summer Sunny Preview

Michael Leave a comment

Today in the U.S.A. is Memorial Day and before we go with another word let’s pause to remember all those who gave all they had to give so that we can continue to celebrate holidays like Memorial Day.

Around here, Memorial Day is also the “unofficial start of summer.” If you live close to the Equator you don’t need an unofficial start to summer; you don’t even need an official start for it. It’s summer all year long and apparently that’s ok with you because you’re still there. If you live in the Southern Hemisphere as deep as we are in the northern half of the world you’d maybe love to have a start to summer, even unofficial, right about now. Instead you’re waxing snowboards and servicing snow blowers. Let me say that if your upcoming winter is anything like our past winter you might want to consider chopping some extra firewood also.

So what does the unofficial start of summer mean. Well…it’s like those things that you’ve been waiting for all winter and spring can start happening. Weather permitting. What might they be you ask.

Here’s my list of things everyone should do at least once a summer. (Those reading in the Southern Hemisphere may want to save this list for 6 months or so.)
1. Plant something. Flower, vegetable, herb, tree, shrub. Be a part of the world Even if you live in one room on the 8th floor you can find room on a windowsill for a small pot with a colorful bloom or tasty herb.
2. Drive (or if you prefer, ride in) a convertible. Don’t have one? take a “test drive” at the local (or not so local) car store. You weren’t doing anything else after work.
3. Eat outdoors. The ideal spot would be in a piazza somewhere in Italy with fresh fruit, sharp cheeses, a bottle of chilled, semi-dry white wine, and strolling minstrels. But coffee and a donut on the deck will do. Just get outside and feel the nature that brought you that food.
4. Go to a baseball game. If you don’t like baseball, go with somebody who really understands the game. If you still aren’t going to like it, go for the atmosphere. Do some people watching, have a hot dog, get some sun and fresh air. It doesn’t matter if it’s a MLB game, a minor league offering, or a college or high school game, there is no other sports event like baseball.
5. Go to an outdoor concert. Parts of our city’s symphony orchestra put on free concerts in town on select days during lunch and the full symphony does a couple free evenings at a county park. In fact, the county sponsors several shows of a variety of styles throughout the summer. But if one doesn’t check the web-site one doesn’t know of them. Be the smart one and check your county’s website. Why? Because baseball games aren’t the only outdoor events with people watching and fresh air.
6. Go ahead, put on a pair of shorts. I don’t care if you say you wouldn’t wear shorts in your own back yard, at least wear them in your own back yard. Then you know summer is really here!

An even half-dozen things to do this summer. On me. You can come up with stuff to fill the other days.

That’s what I think. How ’bout you?

The Last Minute – A Special Piece of Real Reality

Michael Leave a comment

Regular readers know that Real Reality strikes on Mondays and Thursdays.  If you didn’t know that it doesn’t make you irregular.  You just have to read more often.  And/or more regularly.  Anyway, for this to show up on a Wednesday you know it must be something special.  Well, tomorrow is something special so that could make today special too.  It certainly makes today down to the wire.  (No race track analogies in 2015.  Three in a row are plenty for any couple of years!)

Regular readers also know that in Realityville, Christmas Eve is not a shopping day.  Christmas Eve has enough of its own tasks and charges.  You have had plenty of shopping days going back to Black Friday Eve (aka Thanksgiving).  Ask any major retailer.  If you’re not done by now you are on your own.  But don’t bother asking any major retailer.  They lie.

Back to Christmas Eve.  Don’t you have more Christmassy things to do today than shopping anyway?

There are Christmas Eve dinners to attend to.  Is the most recognizable Christmas Eve dinner the Feast of the Seven Fishes?  Perhaps so.  An Italian tradition on a day that Italian Catholics abstain from meat, this vigil meal will be served in many households.  In Eastern Europe, many cultures add a couple more meatless dishes to their Christmas Eve dinner to make nine or eleven choices.  Russians prepare twelve selections of fish and grains.  In Germany and Austria, Christmas Eve may be spent preparing carp, potatoes, and salads for dinner after sundown.

You’re not a big eater you say?  Then you’ll probably spend today wrapping all the presents you carefully selected and bought with plenty of time to get under the tree before Christmas.  Did you know that, television families with piles of beautifully wrapped presents under their trees weeks before the big day excepted, most holiday wrapping happens on Christmas Eve.  Much of the gifts planned for destinations outside the home if not wrapped sometime on Christmas Eve, usually during cooking breaks, are wrapped the day before and sometimes the day of the planned giving.

If you happen to be reading this in Sweden you aren’t wrapping your gifts today.  You’ll be unwrapping them since the day you exchange Christmas presents is today!  That would be in Sweden and many other countries where the wrapping happened yesterday in anticipation of exchanging them on Christmas Eve.

In Australia where it’s nice and warm today, many people will be out caroling this evening.  While singing they will light candles together hoping for a clear night that their light can join the stars.

And if your wrapping and cooking and eating and singing all get done early and you are still looking for something to do besides more shopping, today would be a good day to thank God for getting us all through another year.

Merry Christmas.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Just About the Last Minute

Michael Leave a comment

 

It’s down to 3 (three!), 2 (two!), 1 (one!), Merry Christmas (!) and we are at the clubhouse turn.

The clubhouse is pretty appropriate here.  This year’s Real Reality of Christmas season started with “Let’s Go Clubbing” (Nov. 17, 2014).  In that post there is the outrageous suggestion that this year everyone would be consumed with cooking, baking, and decorating.  And that seemed to be a pretty fair estimate of outrageousness just as it is most every year, at least around here.  One thing it didn’t seem to be was all consumed with shopping.

Shopping was quite tempered this year from the lack of catalogs (see “The Great Annual Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide,” Dec. 15, 2014) to the lack of fellow shoppers (see “Next to the Last Minute,” Dec. 18, 2014).  We’re wondering might that be due to the lack of stuff.  It seems that every year there is more and more stuff that you only see at the holidays.  Advertisements bear this out.

Think about what you have seen recently on your television.  If it weren’t for the commercial air time between Thanksgiving and Christmas you would think nobody ever drinks liquor, sparkling wine, or pomegranate juice.  If not for those four or five weeks (and the week before Mother’s Day) jewelry stores would close.   Women’s fragrances, perfumes, and colognes appear not to be bottled except for this time of year (and that week in May).  Men’s fragrances are not even bottled this one time each year but they are dusted off and shipped to the stores who agree to build even bigger displays of the always more lucrative woman half of the couple version which are bought by the gift-clueless man half of the couple.  If the Christmas season did not exist, neither would DVD versions of “classic” movies and television shows.  And do we even have to mention Chia Pets?

In some cases it is not just the product that only appears at the end of all years.  Sometimes there are entire stores, even entire categories of stores that only show themselves during the Yule season.  In addition to the already noted jewelers, fitness equipment makers (infomercials excepted) and fitness centers, kitchen gadget specialists, and book sellers rarely make themselves known other than during this holiday period.

With all the extra time bought up by these specialties you would think that the routine advertisers might be a bit miffed.  They are, after all, missing out on a lot of chances to push their products.  Don’t worry about them.  As the number of Christmas movies and specials increase, even though there might be fewer numbers of ads for the commercial staples, the interaction between seller and sucker – err, customer – remains at least the same, if not better.  With some well-timed offerings and a new catchy jingle or two those companies will somehow manage to stay in front of the buying public until at least the Super Bowl.  There will always be enough people buying cars, beer, soup, and cell phones.

And do we even have to mention Chia Pets?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Next to the Last Minute

Michael 1 Comment

There’s a week to go to Christmas and we’re coming down the back stretch.  (If you think you hated that analogy just wait until Monday.)

With only that week to go one would think there’s more of a sense of urgency out there.  He was out shopping just yesterday and there weren’t so many others out there with him.  According to the news reports the local stores on Black Friday and its accompanying weekend weren’t overly packed.  Cyber Monday and its accompanying week didn’t break any records.  Yet there still wasn’t much of a hustle, barely even a bustle.  Maybe everybody is waiting for this weekend to go out and pick up pre-Christmas sales on the last weekend before the big day.

All of the sidewalks and mallwalks, the storefronts and checkouts should be packed.  The streets should be filled with UPSFedExMail trucks.  Shopping cart corrals inside the stores should be empty with shoppers beating each other about the head and shoulders for the few remaining plastic baskets.  Shopping cart corrals outside the stores should be full waiting for the lot attendants to gather them up, stick a battery powered, remote controlled pushme/pullyou onto the front/back of the line-up and get them back in the store before they run out of plastic baskets.  And the shelves should be empty.  Empty until this weekend when they will be restocked with the pre-Christmas weekend sale merchandise.

But no, the sidewalks aren’t packed and the streets aren’t filled.  The shopping carts are where you’d expect to find them in August.  The plastic baskets are stacked to the ceilings and the shelves are empty.  Of course they are.  Otherwise there would be no reason to go shopping this weekend.

So while everyone else was either waiting for this weekend or was of those who shopped on Cyber Monday and are waiting for the UPSFedExMail truck to pull up in their driveways, He shopped alone yesterday.  Even though many of the shelves were empty, enough of them were filled sufficiently to fill his shopping cart that he didn’t have to wrestle away from other shoppers.

It was actually sort of pleasant.  How disappointing.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

The Great Annual Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide

Michael 2 Comments

Nine shopping days until Christmas.  Go ahead and count if you like, that’s all that’s left.  Nine days.  Remember, don’t count Christmas Eve as a shopping day, there are just too many other things going on then.  Even if you do count it, that’s not a lot of days left and they almost got by without the Official Annual Real Reality Show Blog Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide.  (Yeah, we missed last year but you can find 2012’s here: “And If You Order Now…” (Dec 17, 2012), and 2011’s here: “Buy The Way…” (Dec. 1, 2011).  If fact, you might want to pull them up as quick references.)

As close as it is to the big day, He’s mailbox has been a virtual dearth of Christmas catalogs.  An honest to gosh absence of some of the biggest names – and prices – of the holiday shopping season.  So scarce are they that it will be almost impossible to top the $500 snow shoes from years gone buy, err, by.  (Ok, so they were only $470.  That was two years ago.  With inflation they have to be $500 by now or they really aren’t from a decent designer.)  True, one can always go on line to find the highest in fashion – and prices – but that’s just not the same as good old fashioned catalog shopping in a good old fashioned recliner preferably while drinking a good old fashion.  So to make up for the lack of the high end “Hammacher Schlemmer” type mailings we will make do with this year’s newspaper insert from “Five Below,” that fabulous outlet where no item is priced more than $5.00.

So let’s start with those snow shoes.  You’ll recall from 2012 that our guide was very high on picking up a family set of these offered in eight designer colors for the low, low price of $470 for the complete ensemble.  Probably not appropriate for outdoors use, Five Below does have Stompeez slippers that “come to life when you walk” at their top of the line price of $5.00, but that is for just one pair.  Outfitting the entire family will set you back a whopping $20.  But, it is Christmas.

A featured item in the 2011 guide was the double barrel marshmallow cannon with dishwasher safe magazines at a very reasonable $39.95.  The current Five Below insert really doesn’t have an equivalent item but it does include a goblet that will hold an entire bottle of wine.  Excess is after all, excess.  And it can be yours for the less than excessive price of again $5.00.

Nothing will ever compare with the $60,000 Optimal Resonance Audiophile Four-Way Three-Dimensional Soundstage Quality Speakers (each requiring its own amplifier, not included) from the 2011 guide.  Imagine where that is priced out today after three years of inflation and obligatory price increases.   We suggested then that if you can afford $60,000 speakers you are encouraged to make a quite generous donation to your local symphony, opera company, musical theater, or other organization requiring pricey speakers and pocket the extra $50,000.  Otherwise, Five Below has you covered here also.  Earbuds, headphones, sound capsules, and even plain old speakers are shown throughout their flyer for your choice at only $5.00 each.  Buddy, can you spare $59,995?

There you go, nine days and one catalog to fill out your “nice list” for this year.  It could be that some of you actually got the high end catalog is your mail boxes this year.  If so, don’t pass it around.  Just keep it to yourself.  It would be a shame if someone got snow shoes again this year.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Being Beholden

Michael 1 Comment

It’s here.  Or soon will be.  It is Friday, December 12, 2014, otherwise known as Ugly Christmas Sweater Day.  (And can somebody please explain why it’s ok to call it an ugly Christmas sweater but to be politically correct we have to wish each other happy holidays?) (But that’s a post for a different day.)  (Thank holidays.)

OK, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day has been officially going on for quite a few years but now seems to be really getting traction.  It could be because there are more television shows with ugly sweater themes, it could be because there are now television commercials with ugly sweater themes, or it could be that there are now commercials for ugly sweaters.  True, you won’t see them in prime time network airspace but they are there.  Plop “Ugly Sweater” into your favorite search engine and see what you get back.  One or two news blurbs and a lot of sales!  If you don’t want to buy you can even rent.

To be sure, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is not at all about ugly Christmas sweaters any more than ugly Christmas sweaters are about ugly sweaters.  It’s a day to do its best to make you smile your smilest – err, your biggest smile.  🙂   Maybe even more than Ice Cream for Breakfast Day.  (If you forgot, that’s the first Saturday in February.)

To be even more sure, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is to sweaters and sweatshirts and jerseys what ugly Christmas tie day is to ties and ugly Christmas hat day is to hats and ugly Christmas decorations day is to decorations.  It’s about the people who wear them and their exuberance for the holiday.  (Yes, the holiday – singular, as in Christmas, not the generic holidays – plural, for everyone too ashamed to admit there is something special that happened and is worth commemorating with all the energy befitting an irreplaceable occasion.)  (But that’s still a post for a different day.)  (Thank holidays.)

The people who celebrate Ugly Christmas Sweater Day aren’t interested in whether you think their sweaters are ugly.  Nor their ties or hats or Town Square Christmas trees.  They know they aren’t.  If they were they (the sweaters) would still be on the store shelves.  To them (the sweater wearers) they (the sweaters) are the most beautiful pieces of clothing they (do we really need to keep going) own.  Beautiful because they (sweaters) symbolize the joy and energy they (people) get to feel not just at Christmas but all year long.  Because, let’s even be most sure, you know darn well these are the same people who have an ugly Easter bonnet hiding in a closet for next spring.   And that’s just fine too!

Ugly Christmas Sweater Day, a new tradition worthy of being carried on through the next few generations, or at least the next few weeks.  And it’s so easy.  Find a sweater you think is just too cool to not be shared with everybody you pass on Ugly Christmas Sweater Day.  Wear it and share it.  Repeat.  Why should turkey be the only holiday tradition that returns for several days?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Giving Thursday?

Michael Leave a comment

It’s been a week around here.  Quite a week.  Quite a month.  We made it through Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday.  And let’s not forget the days leading to and away from these occasions.  What do they have in common?  Giving with a side of Guilt.  We can all admit it.  If it wasn’t for the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, a lot of us would never get the chance to declare “Charitable Contributions” on next year’s tax return.

Around here one of the local television stations has been for years a major sponsor for an annual Thanksgiving food drive. For weeks they would broadcast PSAs encouraging donations to the local food bank to build the coffers as strong as possible for a special Thanksgiving distribution.  They even convinced a local bank to match cash donations physically made at the bank.  The day before Thanksgiving they announced the total amount raised.  An impressive amount but the amount isn’t important.  What is important is that even then, after all the food was packed, the turkeys were ready, and the meals were being prepared, people wanted to know if they could still donate to the food bank.

It was on Thanksgiving morning that the news programs all led off with interviews of volunteers at missions, shelters, kitchens, or what you will call them who open their doors to feed the poor and homeless.  While the organizers told of the number of men, women, and families who would stop in both to serve and be served, the cameras panned the pans of turkey, stuffing, vegetables, soup, and pies.  And on each TV station the intrepid reporter would ask if they had enough volunteers for that day if someone wanted to stop by to help.

The evening newscast on Giving Tuesday made certain that viewers realized that even though it was late in the day there was still time to hit the Internet to find a worthwhile charitable organization to accept donations.  They also had stories on the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Campaign, the local clothing drives, and the donations car dealers would make to various associations if one test drove or bought a vehicle.

All of these had some sort of sense of urgency to them.  It was as though those who were responsible for these various drives knew that if the public didn’t get around to giving now it could be another year before people gave of their spare change or their spare time.

It might be that this is the time when wallets are opened more regularly but most people recognize that there are hungry people in May just as there are in December.  That a dollar donated to the free energy fund in spring still heats the water as it does in winter.  That a light jacket in April is just as appreciated as a warm scarf in January.

The needy have no season.  Unfortunate circumstances can befall any one any day.  If you didn’t get the chance to donate to your food bank, coat drive, or other charity this week, there will always be time.  It might have a catchy ring to it but Giving has no special day.  If you missed last Tuesday there are 364 other days to pick from.  And we believe that most do.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.