Tag Happy

Happy Today!

Michael 4 Comments

When was the last time you woke up and said, “Today is going to be the best day in my life!”? Although there are no scientific studies to back it up, there is a pretty good chance it wasn’t today. With that in mind, here is a completely unscientific poll:

Which of the following is a wish for a special day
a.  Have a good day
b.  Good morning
c.  Happy birthday
d.  Have a great day
e.  All of the above
If you answered e. All of the above you’re likely on your way to a great day and maybe it is going to be the best day of your life!

Why can’t every day be special? Let’s rephrase that. Why, every day can be a special! It’s time to ditch the idea of “Have a nice day” as platitude and get back to really meaning it. Have a nice day and its close relative Have a good day, had appeared in print as far back as Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (“”And hoom wente every man the righte way, there was namoore but ‘Fare wel, have a good day'”) and was a friendly but serious way of closing communications between air traffic controllers and pilots through the early days of jet travel. It wasn’t until the 1970s when Americans began associated the phrase with the soon to be ubiquitous smiley face that those words were stripped of their happiness and joy, when in fact, each day should be one of happiness and joy. We are allotted only so many days. And according to recent reports, Americans can expect less of them. Earlier this year, the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics reported American life expectancy dropped from 78.8 years in 2019 to 77.3 years in 2020.  It cannot all be blamed on COVID. Life expectancy in the United States has been declining since 2014.

Undoubtedly there are a variety of reasons for this decline. One thing that is rarely mentioned is that happiness and longevity go together. Ten of the 20 countries with the longest reported life expectancies are also ten of the top 20 countries ranked as the world’s happiest in the 2020 World Happiness Report conducted by the United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network. It may not be the most formal research, but it appears it you want to live long, you have a better chance at it if you’re living it happily. And how do you make live a happy life. Make every day special.

Each day, over 150,000 people spend their last day on earth. It is estimated that only about 2/3 of those people die of age-related complications and one can make the argument that 1 out of every 3 people who die don’t expect it. Almost everybody who has survived a life-threatening event acknowledges the specialness of each day. To them every day of their new life is a gift. You should not have to have been threatened with the loss of future days to recognize each day’s presence as exceptional. Nor should a day need a special event for it to be special. Every day is exceptional and each day is an event in its own right.

2 + 2 5 (2)Fred Rogers knew about special days. He closed each episode of his Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood television show with “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” There was no question that he meant it and that every day was special to him.  In a 2019 Los Angeles Times interview, his widow Joanne said, “People invariably say, ‘Well, I can’t do that, but I sure do admire him. I would love to do it.’ Well, you can do it. I’m convinced there are lots of Fred Rogerses out there.” Fred Rogers made everyone feel special because he genuinely cared for people and was not afraid to express it.

if you search “How to make someone feel special.” on the Internet, you will find, “Bring them chocolate, write them a note, give them your full attention, surprise them with a gift.” None of the returns say, “Be honest and genuine with everyone you meet, don’t be mean, treat everyone with respect, make everyone leave feeling good about having been with you.”

To make others feel special you need only show genuine them concern and respect. We uplift each other while we can, because there is no guarantee of a tomorrow. “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you.” It’s time to celebrate this special day, today!

A Tale of One City

Michael 2 Comments

It was the best of times, it was the worst … no, wait, that’s taken. That’s two cities anyway. How about: it was the best of intentions, it was the worst of intentions. The one city is here, the time was Saturday.

20210321_200444Saturday afternoon might have been one of the better times for this fair city as a small group peacefully assembled with speakers in support of the “Stop Asian Hate” movement, supporting the local and national Asian communities. The diverse group was mostly college aged people with some families and one celebrity who was in town filming a movie. The rally started at a corner a little bit out of the downtown district and after the speakers spoke they move to a nearby park and held a moment of silence for the those slain in Atlanta. It was a good, positive time, Definitely one of the better times. But then again . . .

Earlier Saturday a group of a few hundred gathered at the baseball stadium and accompanied by motorcycle mounted police, they march across a bridge, through town, then to the large state  park that dominates the focal point of downtown. There celebrities, local and state politicians, and candidates for upcoming races assembled to make speeches opposing the ongoing state mask mandate and protesting the results of the 2020 Presidential election. Still. One of the participants spoke about the danger of the right to bear arms “being taken away.” One of the speakers referred to Donald Trump as “the real President of the United States” from the podium. One of the marchers said “freedom is tenuous” when asked about his opposition to the mask mandate.

There is a local TV reporter who each morning posts an inspirational message to her social media accounts. Sunday’s was “Don’t wait for things to get simpler, easier, better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise you’ll run out of time.” it’s a great message. The people at the small “Stop Asian Hate” rally would get that. The people at the whatever it was supposed to be rally never could understand that and probably wouldn’t bother to try. Yet those are the people who if they did try and then stopped trying to make everything “better” by their own definition and just be happy that they have the opportunities so many other people around the world do not, there wouldn’t be a danger of not having enough time for happiness. There might be an overabundance of happiness because the rest of the world, the majority of the world I am certain, wouldn’t have to spend so much time protecting themselves from the ones who are never happy.

It’s sad that a small but so loud group of people so desperately clinging to a fantasy still garner so much attention and cause such an extreme amount of hate that a peaceful group of people, ones of all ages, colors and ethnicities, are held hostage by the fear that that desperate ones might any moment mutate into desperados.

I was right the first time I thought about it. Saturday afternoon indeed represented a better of times in my one fair city. Let’s just leave it at that.

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Happy Holidays

Michael 3 Comments

Happy Easter Monday the day after Easter to Roman Catholics and most Christians, Holy Monday the second day after Lazarus Saturday and day after Palm Sunday to Orthodox Catholics and many Eastern Rite Christians, Chag Sameach as we are at the Fourth Day of Passover or Pesach to the Jew Communities, an early Ramadan to Muslims whose holy month starts in just under two weeks on May 5, a late New Year which was April 19 to Theravada Buddhists, and again a late Hanuman Jayanti celebrating the birth of Hanuman one of the prominent heroes of the Indian super epic Ramayana also on April 19 per the Hindu calendar. My apologies to all if I got any dates, names, or reasons wrong or I missed anybody completely.

I bring this up because it’s worth bringing up. All diverse peoples all taking time out from a hectic time of year, just as seasons are changing and schools are ending and graduates are starting new lives and gardens and yards are being tended for the first time in a while and probably bunches of other stuff that you’re doing and I hadn’t written down. These aren’t new celebrations. None of these were thought up by a greeting card company or a marketing firm. Frankly, if you are celebrating one of these you probably aren’t paying much attention to any of the others. Yet together, within a 2 week period almost all of the world will be celebrating as they have been celebrating for millennia. And they will be, and I dare say most of us will be, celebrating religion.

For all that the world has given us it is our religions that live on. They are our collective identities. The sources differ, the customs differ, the names differ, but the reason is one. To each of us there is a path, a way, a trek through ourselves to a greater end. Don’t talk about politics or religion at the dinner table we are cautioned. Politics yes, never talk about politics. Blech! But religion. I’m not so sure about that. I think if we saw beyond our own and looked not at how others celebrate we would find what we celebrate is quite well known to each of us and we might find that each of us is reflecting in and perhaps even a part of the one across the heretofore forbidden common table.

I use the word celebrate very specifically. Not that we worship or to whom we pray or what we venerate. We celebrate. Our religions offer us community, stability, an anchor that contributes to our sense of purpose and fulfillment, to our well-being, and to our need to belong and to share. Religion makes us who we are. And it makes us happy.

I think some of that happiness is defined by religion itself. If you think narrowly that happiness is defined by possessions, religion won’t make a difference to you. But to those of you who include things like friendship, accomplishment, guidance, peace, and comfort in the Top Five Ways to become Happy, religion has those. It doesn’t hand them out. You aren’t baptized and immediately become the ultimate guide to peace and tranquility. There is work involved on your part. But it opens the path and begins the build up of happiness. Religion provides the structure to achieve the goal.

Somebody out there may be saying “Religion! Bah, humbug! All religion is good for is to strike fear of an unforgiving god in an unsophisticated person and ask for money.” I say those are they who have not experienced faith and are among the ones whose top ways to become happy are get money, get power, and get laid. And that’s fine if that’s what they want to believe. Just don’t tell me my way is wrong. And don’t be offended now when I see so many others celebrating and I wish the world collectively …

“Happy Holidays!”

Coexist

Sad Sack, Seemingly

Michael 4 Comments

At first I was somewhat despondent. I have Resting Bitch Face and the only male counterpart reference is so vile sounding that I won’t even repeat it here. On sure, some people call it Bitchy Resting Face and you can consider “bitchy” to be gender neutral but let’s be honest here. Bitchy is as gender neutral as flight attendant. No matter how forward thinking you are, in your head that person is still a stewardess. Sorry. That’s just the way it is.

So now that we have that out of the way, back to my problem. I will be any number of things, even some of them unpleasant. I have been any number of things, even some of them unpleasant. But I will not be a bitch. And I certainly will not be that other vile thing! So I began my search for a more acceptable, maybe even gender neutral since that’s all the rage now term for this condition. And here’s what I decided.

There’s is no such thing! Oh sure there are some of us that in our resting state don’t smile at everybody like a demented psychopath. That’s because we are not demented psychopaths. And unless you are a demented psychopath, you are not walking around with a constant grin plastered across your face either. Nobody is. Except for maybe the occasional demented psychopath. But for the everyday any old normal person, spending some of your time, most of your time, in a state of “This is me, not doing anything,” is RBFnormal. Everyday normal.

Anyway, the Resting Bitch Face is a myth. It could be an urban myth but it is just as mythical in suburban and rural areas so I’m going to call it just a plain myth. Right up there with Scottish lakebound sea serpents, cold climate residing evolutionary missing links, and honest politicians. Of any party. Worldwide. Ever. And that includes that one not in office too. Any office. Worldwide.

The Resting Bitch Face myth has been perpetrated on the public by the publicists of celebrities caught by paparazzi in their natural facial expressions shared by the entire world when they aren’t thinking of anything in particular. A sort of normal, not much happening state of mind transitioned to the facial muscles and outwardly displayed as “Yep, this is me doing nothing just like any old normal person.” In order to make it appear that their clients are not just any old normal people, the publicists came up with Bitchy Resting Face lest you start asking hard questions in social media like “What’s wrong with her (or him)? She (or he) just made 45 bazillion dollars on that last movie that wasn’t even funny and 10 of those dollars were mine! She (or he) laughed all the way to the bank; she (or he) should still be smiling about it!” And if you should ask that question, now someone can reply, “Haven’t you heard? It’s Resting Bitch Face (or Bitchy Resting Face for the ‘or he’s’).”

The only problem with that is that, unlike designer sunglasses, monogrammed jeans, or logo-festooned cell phone accessories, the PR teams couldn’t license that face. Everybody has it. That’s what got them in this in the first place. But then, being what they are and all, the publicity cadre did it again. They knew soon the more fanatical fans (is that redundant?) would adopt Resting Bitch Faces (or Bitchy Resting Faces for the ‘or he’s’) as their own default facial expression. Not that they didn’t already but now had a name they could use in their social media accounts. The fans then could proudly claim to have the same condition as their favorite unsmiling objects of their fanaticism. The only way to differentiate the real celebrities from the celebrity wannabes was in accessories. Everybody has a face. But not everybody has $59,000 sunglasses. Nor can just anybody afford $59,000 sunglasses except for those who recently made 45 bazillion dollars. But everybody could afford (sort of) $175 knockoff sunglasses. And thus, the ultra-designer sunglasses industry was founded.

Now I already own sunglasses that I got at the dollar store. So when first I was despondent about my at rest appearance, I now no longer exhibit outward signs of unhappiness. Actually, if I had exhibited outward signs of anythingness I wouldn’t have even started this post, but once I rationalized the actual absence of any such condition marked by outward signs of nothingness falsely identified as anything, my outwardness took on a decided somethingness. One great big smile from pocketing $174 in change.  🙂

 

13 Reasons Challenge

Michael 3 Comments

Just about everybody is familiar with the book and TV show “13 Reasons.” Some like it because it brings teenage suicide to light. Some hate it because it celebrates teenage suicide. Some abhor it because it’s just another way to exploit something, anything in the news.

Last week I was trapped in the rabbit hole and came up at a site where a young woman in Australia has taken a completely different direction from the show. In her blog terrymcnude.wordpress.com she says, “Instead of the 13 reasons why Hannah Baker killed herself, (we have to move on from that) and ask ourselves, what are 13 reasons why you’re happy with your life.” She then challenged others to find their 13 Reasons, pass them on, and encourage others to do the same.

While there are so many words being spent every day on all that we’re sure is wrong and unfair in the world, here’s a chance to spend a few on what’s right in yours.

So, I’m going to take that challenge and find the 13 Things that make me most happy and challenge you to do the same and then challenge all those who you share yours with to do likewise – on so on and so on.

13 Things That Make Me Happy.

  1. This is so easy it’s almost cheating. My No. 1 Thing that makes me happy is a daughter who seems to like me, too. Can’t say more than that.
  2. Just as easy is No. 2, having two siblings who are close and caring and never too busy to help with anything, anytime, anywhere.
  3. Having a small but strong group of friends.
  4. A walk in the morning without rain.
  5. Listening to piano-centric jazz. Thank you David Benoit.
  6. Stanley Cup Hockey!
  7. Christmas decorations.
  8. Cooking something without a recipe, sometimes even without a plan, and it actually tastes good.
  9. Spring when I sit outside intending to read but end up staring at the flowers.
  10. Top-down drives in the summer through back country roads.
  11. A good murder – the fictional kind, not one that ends up on the evening news.
  12. Pizza. (I never met a pizza that didn’t make me happy, except one with pineapple maybe).
  13. Being done with dialysis. Maybe someday that might move up in the list when I can actually be done with dialysis. But for now, 3 times a week I’m at my happiest when they pull those needles and they say “That’s it, you’re done for today.”

That’s it, those are mine. Now, are you up to the challenge?

 

The Second (and Third) Happiest Places in the World

Michael Leave a comment

Tomorrow is July 17, 2015. It is also Disneyland’s 60th anniversary. We would have recognized the park’s golden anniversary but nobody was blogging ten years ago. We did recognize “The Happiest Place in the World” two years ago but it wasn’t then, and isn’t still, a Disney property. (Go ahead and check it out. I won’t spoil the surprise if you didn’t read it back then.)

At best, Disneyland is the second happiest place in the world. That’s the small one in California. I’ve been there. I’ve also been to Disney World, the larger one in Florida. Each will try to convince you that it is the happiest place but we know better. They are probably equally happiness inducing so it could be a tie for second happiest place in the world. But I don’t know about that. On second thought I can think of a better second happiest place pushing the park pair to third happiest place.

Sort of related to the Disneys, I came across the second happiest place last weekend. I was having a horrible weekend.  It was hot and when it wasn’t hot it was raining, and when it was hot and raining my basement was leaking. I slept poorly, I ached constantly, and for some reason I had three days of hot food (picante hot, not caliente hot) and was not the better for it. But around 7:00 on Sunday evening in between rain storms I looked out the window and saw the most beautiful rainbow. Vivid colors, perfect arch, disappearing beyond the horizon filling that fabled pot of gold. It was absolutely impossible to be grumpy, grouchy, crabby, cranky, or any other -y you can think of while gazing at that rainbow. That immediately became the second happiest place in the world. The place you stand when you see your rainbow.

Happy birthday Disneyland, and many more. May your visitors be merry and your rainbow be bright. Copyright or not, you just can’t compete with nature for happy. How are rainbows and Disney parks related you ask? You have to watch more movies.