Faithfully yours

Even though I’m still reeling from some of the most dictatorial events of all time that have happened and are happening in this country this week, I still have faith that I can find good news to celebrate. (And yes they are dictatorial. Find a German who was around in 1932 and ask if there is any difference between then there and here now.) (Anyway…)

What good went on this week?

The Wellbeing Research Centre releases its annual report on countries’ relative happiness. They polled 100,000 people from 147 countries on their perceived quality of life. This year’s report found Finland taking the top spot (for the eighth successive year), with Denmark, Iceland and Sweden, and The Netherlands rounding out the top five. Surprises included Costa Rica (sixth) and Mexico (tenth), both in the top ten for the first time. Other countries making it into the top ten are Norway, Luxemburg, and Israel. The good ole USA comes in at 24th. (In ‘Freedom” the U.S. comes in at #115. That puts us behind some democratic stalwarts like Mongolia (113), Venezuela (103), and Russia (102).)

From just as recently as 2021, statues in London honoring men have outpaced those honoring women.  Since then, more statues honoring women have been unveiled than in the entire second half of the 20th century. These included war heroes, pop culture icons, medical pioneers, and even royalty (Queen Elizabeth II, England’s longest reigning monarch, received her first statue in 2023.) Why should we care about what happens in London. Because women do things. So do all kinds of humas who are not white and/or orange males. Besides, they scored higher than us on the happiness scale so they must know something.

In April, the Salt Spring Island (B.C.) office of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) received the request from an out-of-town family to check on their elderly father who they’d not heard from. Officer Cst. Lloyd found the senior who appeared to have been living in unhealthy conditions, reluctant to engage, and adamant that he did not need help. The officer stayed with him for over an hour and developed a rapport with the older gentleman. In time, he agreed to be transported to the hospital to be checked. Last month, the man showed up at the RCMP Salt Spring Island office to share the news that he had unknowingly been bleeding internally for some time and, according to doctors, would have succumbed in the next 24 hours had it not been for the intervention of Officer Lloyd. No word if Officer Lloyd was fully masked and decked out in battle gear. I kind of think not. Canada also ranked ahead of us (way ahead of us) on the happiness scale.

Descendants of the Maya in Belize (aka indigenous people) are reviving an old game (even older than the NFL – oh my!). Pok-ta-pok, today the national sport of Belize, is billed as the world’s oldest team ballgame. It’s more curious news than good news but I wanted to bring it up because even though Belize came in one space behind the U.S. on the happiness scale, they ranked #1 in freedom. See what happens when you are nice to your indigenous neighbors.

I have faith you enjoyed this roundup of good news. Hmm. Did I use ‘faith’ properly, or could another word been better. Check out what we wrote about faith in An Article of Faith, this week’s Uplift post at ROAMcare.

Oh, if you’re interested, here’s is a link to the World Happiness Report dashboard compiled by the Gallup organization from this year’s wellbeing report.

Make me happy

I think I might have figured out why that sad pack of humanity in Washington DC are all so unhappy all the time. They have no happy place. They have places where others can be miserable which allows them to be seem grander, and they think that makes them happy, but it doesn’t. They have places where they can openly insult, harass, and persecute others, and they can feel superior thinking that makes them happy, but it doesn’t.  The have places where they are expected to lie, cheat, and steal resulting in the collection of more wealth than one person can spend thinking that makes them happy, but it doesn’t. No, none of that does. None of that makes for a happy place.

A happy place is that placed where you can smile and although others may not understand, you smile so big that they will smile along with you. There are three things necessary for something to make you happy. It has to be pleasing or contented. It has to be satisfying. You have to be confident that what is pleasing to you isn’t harming anyone else.

And if you want to move from happiness to ecstasy, encourage someone else to be happy. No, don’t just encourage them, help them to find their happy place and to be happy.

Last week in ROAMcare’s Flashback Friday post we discussed happy places. I’ve written something similar in days gone by. Regarding happy places, the things that stop you in your tracks and bring a smile to your face, that these are not the pillars of happiness, the really big life changing events that come to mind when you think life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness type happiness, but are the little things that are part of getting us from one hour to the next, the things that turn drudgery into something faintly tolerable. They are the things and places that barely register to the rest of the world yet bring you profound happiness.      

There is a destination in Pittsburgh that personifies happiness. Called an artistic wonderland, Randyland, founding in 1995 by Randy Gilson and Mac McDermott, is a massive, unique outdoor art installation that captures the fun in everyday, reused, and upcycled material. It grew from Gilson’s pre-Randyland days when he engaged in “guerilla gardening,” turning vacant lots into explosions of color and life.

Randyland is a happy place, one of those unusual spots that, although not for everyone, is for everyone, and is where you can’t not find something to smile about and leave happier from. It is unabashedly one of those quirky places that nobody was ever going to say couldn’t be done. And it doesn’t hurt anybody. 

Find your happy place. You can do it. And others around you will be happier for it too.

 

 

Happy? New? Year

I really want to wish everyone a Happy New Year but already this year is proving to be not too happy and unfortunately, that’s nothing new. On top of the terrible tragedy in New Orleans in the early morning hours of January 1, the FBI uncovered what they are calling the largest collection of explosive devices in one location when they raided a farm outside Norfolk, Virginia. Those events on the heels of the burning of a woman in the New York City subway, 10 mass shootings between Christmas and New Year’s Eve killing 47 victims, and of course the murder of an insurance company CEO by a fruitcake turned folk hero who people are still defending in social media.

Truly the same old same old. We have not only not learned to become more compassionate as we hit the winter holiday season, typically noted for peace and joy, we seem to be relishing in causing pain and suffering, emboldened by a bully atmosphere still hovering over the land from the recent political carnage.

I won’t say I have all the answers but I have all the answers. We addressed them in yesterday’s Uplift post, Resolve to Live, Love, Share. We opened with, “Resolutions. January 1 we make them. January 2 we break them. January 3 we forget about them. We have a tip for you. Live 2025 like it was the 1960s.” I know, you’re going to say the 60s was the poster child decade for social unrest. But we say nay nay. The 1960s I remember is a time of hope with people calling for peace and love, not like today’s unruly crowds purposely antagonizing others. We present a novel concept to get people together – love. Love is the root of all that is good. It doesn’t have to be elegant, it doesn’t have to be momentous. It merely has to be and it can be its best when it is shared.

I would be thrilled if you took 3 minutes to read all of Live, Love, Share and then you yourself joined us in resolving to lose hostility and to love more. Let’s bring life back to the party – let’s bring love back to life!

While you’re over there, consider joining the ROAMcare community and subscribe to have Uplift delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website. In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly our Monday Moment of Motivation and the email exclusive Flashback Friday repost of one of our most loved publications every Friday. All free and available now at ROAMcare.org.

Uplift 2024-8

Take a Peek – Make Me Happy

Hello fellow bloggers! I invite you to take a peek at another ROAMcare post, Make Me Happy.

You can’t make anyone happy. Only you can make you happy and you can make only you happy. And therein lies how you can make anyone happy.


Make Me Happy

Originally posted October 9, 2024
3 minute read

Recently Michael scrolled by a meme on social media that read “You’re not a pierogi, so you can’t make everyone happy.” You can substitute your favorite comfort food and you still won’t make everyone happy, yet we humans still try. Maybe it’s because we are still confused about what makes happiness.

The most positive thing you can do to offer happiness to someone is to be happy for yourself and to be happy with yourself.


Read the full blog at Make Me Happy on Uplift at ROAMcare. As always there is no fee to read, nothing to join, no catches, no kidding.

While you are there, consider joining the ROAMcare community and have Uplift delivered to your email as soon as it hits the website. In addition to an Uplift release every Wednesday, you will also receive weekly our Monday Moment of Motivation and the email exclusive Blast from the Past repost of one of our most loved publications every Friday. All free and available now at ROAMcare.org.

Uplift 2024



 

 

Happy Places Revisited

I presented a program last week based loosely on a blog post from last year. I had titled the speech “Finding the Happy Places,” and right from the start I wanted to make it clear that you could be right thinking I meant happy places as a plural because I was speaking to a group of people, but in fact, I would have still referred to multiple places even if I was speaking to a single person.

I publicly eschewed the notion that there is a happy place we strive to reach where we escape the world and its problems. In fact, the premise to the presentation was that each of us has many, many happy places that are of the world, and there are where we relive happy times even though consciously, we may not remember the event that led to that happy memory. “The memory may have long faded while the space remains a special place for you,” I said more than once. An example I shared is a large, overstuffed chair in my bedroom. This particular chair is old, maybe older than I am (gasp), but my daughter cleaned it, repaired it, refurbished it, just for me. At least once a day I sit in that chair, and at least once a day I smile to myself and feel good about it. While I sit in that chair I may or may not associate it with the work and the love my daughter put into it, but each time I sit in it I feel welcome, warm, loved. I feel happy. It is one of my happy places.

I’m not sure how I got interested in these miniature moments of happiness and their attendant places of lasting good will. I think I am more sure of why we experience them. And to be clear, I’ve never heard this explanation before although I’m sure someone much smarter than I already figured it out and perhaps even wrote one of the perennial bestsellers in one of the many sections of the local bookstore I rarely walk through. But I think, I think, they are there to keep us if not young, at least upright and moving forward.

Every now and then I’ll reveal some small part of me although I can’t imagine anyone reading these words having a complete picture of me. For the record, I’m feisty enough (I suppose that is the polite word) to be certain I will live to be 100, but realistic enough to question whether I will be around to blow out the candles on my seventieth, and that is coming up, just past the next couple stop lights. Although for almost all my adult life I have worked in hospitals or their related clinics, I was 56 before I ever experienced a hospital from a patient’s point of view, and it was 8 months after that first admission that I was eventually discharged to home, all that just the first in a series of ins and outs over the next 6 years. So you might be correct thinking happy places may not abound in my recent life. You might be.

Very few would mistake a hospital as a happy place except perhaps those visiting the maternity wing. But of all those nights I spent sleeping in a hospital bed, there were very few when I would say, “Ugh, another day and another one like it to look forward to tomorrow.” No, no! Most nights I know I fell asleep thinking, “this wasn’t a bad day, and I know tomorrow will have to be better.” Yes, maybe for the first few weeks I grumbled and groaned myself to sleep, but after a while, even the hospital held its places of positivity. Where were they? I don’t know. More correctly, I don’t remember. As I said (more than once), “The memory of the event may have long faded while the space remains a special place for you.”

Is there a point to all this rambling? (Other than it’s Monday and you’ve come to expect to see ramblings from me on Mondays.) The point I tried to make, that I wanted to make while I was speaking, is to stop running away! You don’t have to escape the world to be happy. Happiness is within your reach and comes from how you interact with the world. You won’t find happiness “out there” at that mythical place where society wants to escape. It’s “right here” at the mystical places where our memories live, where our loves live, where we find the good from all the days past, and where we know it will be there in the days left.

I closed my speech with this. “Someday you will be walking along with someone and for no clear reason you will start to feel a warmth about you, a glimmer will hit your eye, and a smile will break out across your face. Whoever is with you will look at you and say, “What?” And you will answer, “Nothing. You wouldn’t understand.” And that’s how you know – you just walked through a happy place.”

So tell me…where are some of your happy places?


There is no shortcut to success and the most successful are those most passionate about being patient. That’s why we say Patience is a Passion in the latest Uplift!


IMG_3935


Finding Joy

If this year was a horse race, we’d be coming down the stretch, nearing the finish! There’s not even a full week of 2022 left, 6 days – and that’s counting today! Plenty of time to bask in the glow of a year well lived. Unless you haven’t. What about those who didn’t live as well as they hoped? Those whose 2022 left much more to be desired that can be had in 20% of December’s allotment of days. What are we to do?

Oh dear. Now I’ve gone and done it. I’ve alluded to myself being one of the unfulfilled. Well, let me come right out and say it, this has not been my year. But maybe there is time to turn that around.

I heard something this weekend or maybe read it somewhere. The weekend was a busy one..

The world gives us sorrow. It’s up to us to find the joy.

I think that means we are responsible for our happiness, but I don’t believe we are solely responsible for it. It means nobody can make us enjoy life but even though it might seem others may throw up roadblocks, even those who are usually on our sides, they aren’t inherently against us and we should never let others into our lives. But if we rely solely on someone else to bring us joy or happiness we will never experience it because we will always be living somebody’s definition of happiness rather than our own. The best we can hope for from life is honesty from those who mean the most to us, and their love and support to be the person we are. It isn’t that the world gives us sorrow. It’s that it isn’t the world’s job to make us happy. Happiness is out there and we take what the world gives us and make it something joyful.

I don’t know. It sounded better in my head when I was thinking it but you get the idea. Do what you need to do to be happy and don’t rely on anybody else because what brings you joy is in you already. You just have to find it. (Likewise we can never hope to please everyone all of time because we can’t bring them joy, we only add to their experiences.)

This year hasn’t been my year. They have been bad times but good ones too. Did the bad ones outweigh the positives? Or were those the times I let the world try to make me happy, tried making others responsible for my good feelings, or didn’t put in the work to see what about whatever was going on that was good and positive and use that to work up some happiness for myself? I’m not so sure the world brings us sorrow but I do believe it is up to us to find the joy.

Hmm. Six days. I should start looking!


The winter months are packed with religious and secular holidays, all defying definition. It is when we remember something special shared with special people at a special time. Read more and explore winter’s special times with us in “A Winter Carol” at ROAMcare.org.


That’s what happiness is!

A couple days ago I was doing my housework and had just completed the vacuuming part of the dust and vacuum routine. I looked across the room as I was stowing the machine’s cord and broke out into a big smile. I might have broken out in song but if so I was singing subconsciously. If I was singing at all, I would have been singing along with the Ray Conniff Singers as they warbled they way through the 1966 Parnes and Evans composition, “Happiness Is,” for few things instigate as big a smile on my face as seeing those parallel tracks of the vacuum wheels across a newly cleaned carpet. I was struck so happy by the event, I actually remarked on it to a friend later in the day, questioning if she too experiences that odd joy. “No,” she literally deadpanned, “but the husband does. It must be a guy thing,” and dismissed the entire event as something only half the world could enjoy.

Eh. She’s probably right. In fact, vacuum tracks in carpets bring inordinate happiness to probably even less than half the world because I know for sure there are way more men who haven’t even pushed a vacuum around a living room to have seen such a remarkable sight. To them, an oil pan drain plug not leaking after a DIY oil change likely brings that profound happiness.  The point is, as Ray’s singers will have you singing along, happiness is “different things to different people!”

These aren’t the pillars of happiness: life, liberty, and the pursuit of really big, life changing events. These are the little things that are part of getting us from one hour to the next, the things that turn drudgery into if not joy, at least something faintly tolerable.

It won’t solve all of earth’s problems, but it is possible that if we spent more time enjoying what makes us happy and less time becoming frustrated when we can’t figure it why we aren’t as happy as others doing what makes them happy, or worse trying to foist our idea of happiness onto anyone else, we might all end up a little happier. And happier people are less likely to instigate world wars.

People are unique. Even people who grow up together, live together, and love together, don’t have to love everything about each other. Yes, it is the differences among people that make us collectively great, but it is appreciating the differences and encouraging others to pursue those differences that bring them happiness that make us collectively awesome!

Somewhere in your psyche is some quirk of life that brings you immense joy. Relish in the quirk and savor that joy. Don’t give it up for anybody and if somebody should ever admit to you that they get untold happiness from hearing the creak of a rocking chair, encourage them to creak all they want and hope they someday will encourage you to continue chasing your dream of parallel tracks on carpets, or whatever makes you smile at the enjoyment of living life. Because, that’s what happiness is.

What’s your happiness?

IMG_0002

Happiness Is


Blog Art (16)Did you stop by ROAMcare last week to read the meaning of life in five words. It’s worth the 3 minutes it takes to read the other 495 at www.roamcare.org. And check out the rest of our site too. Everything you need to refresh your enthusiasm for life with that extra motivation you need to push through the day! Stop by and visit, then share us with your friends and family!

Spreading Happiness

Some of my posts here on RRSB notwithstanding, I am a pretty happy person and I normally try to spready happiness wherever I am or whatever I do. Again, some recent RRSB posts notwithstanding. Just so I’m not the only one bearing the responsibility for the world’s happiness, I am calling on you to join in spreading happiness whenever and wherever you can. I even have some suggestions how to start. (Of course I do!)

If you should find yourself walking through a grocery store parking lot (or one of any mega-mart type shopping facility), do NOT walk down the center of the driving lane. Leave the spaces meant for cars to cars who might actually want to drive there. If you should find yourself walking through a parking lot with 3 of your closest friends or your children if all your friends are busy, do not walk four abreast. (This goes for inside the store also.) Making these small adjustments to your shopping walking style will spread much happiness – especially to who do it themselves when they are walking and now got a taste of what it’s like to be driving behind same.

If you should find yourself having just arrived at a gas station in your out-sized pickup truck that requires a small ladder to enter and exit, and having just arrived there at a high rate of speed, and having left your mini-monster truck idling so everyone can appreciate its deep basso rumble, do not complain about the price of gasoline. Better still, leave the testosterone reassurer at home and call on Uber or Lyft to run you to the store for your six pack. This will spread much happiness – particularly to those who recently refinanced their vehicles to afford gas your are guzzling.

If you should find yourself preparing to write a comment to post on Facebook about … well about anything, well … just don’t. This will spread much happiness – to everybody!

If you find yourself at the neighborhood pool, local swimming hole, water park, or anywhere where appearing half naked is acceptable outside of your own backyard and/or bathroom, and you find yourself having the urge to pick the lint out of your navel – PLEASE, PLEASE DON’T! That goes for self-pedicuring, ear wax removal, and performing the same procedures on others, including small children. This will spread much happiness – particularly to those with sense and sensibilities (and not just the kind you read).

HappyIf you find yourself at the neighborhood dive, local watering hole, or anywhere where karaoke is sung, unless you have a singing contract from a major record studio or 100% of the audience is drunk, including bartenders and the guy who sits outside the door trying to remember where he parked earlier in the evening, don’t be the first one up to sing. This will spread much happiness particularly to those wanting to sing but not wanting to be the first one up and them with an audible sigh of relief.

If you found yourself smiling at any of these, please like, comment, share, or talk about it over dinner tonight with a loved one or several. That will spread much happiness – particularly to me.


roamcare_logo-3If you haven’t had a chance to visit ROAMcare yet, stop by, refresh your enthusiasm and read our blogs, check out the Moments of Motivation, or just wander around the site. Everybody is always welcome.

Happy Today!

When was the last time you woke up and said, “Today is going to be the best day in my life!”? Although there are no scientific studies to back it up, there is a pretty good chance it wasn’t today. With that in mind, here is a completely unscientific poll:

Which of the following is a wish for a special day
a.  Have a good day
b.  Good morning
c.  Happy birthday
d.  Have a great day
e.  All of the above
If you answered e. All of the above you’re likely on your way to a great day and maybe it is going to be the best day of your life!

Why can’t every day be special? Let’s rephrase that. Why, every day can be a special! It’s time to ditch the idea of “Have a nice day” as platitude and get back to really meaning it. Have a nice day and its close relative Have a good day, had appeared in print as far back as Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (“”And hoom wente every man the righte way, there was namoore but ‘Fare wel, have a good day'”) and was a friendly but serious way of closing communications between air traffic controllers and pilots through the early days of jet travel. It wasn’t until the 1970s when Americans began associated the phrase with the soon to be ubiquitous smiley face that those words were stripped of their happiness and joy, when in fact, each day should be one of happiness and joy. We are allotted only so many days. And according to recent reports, Americans can expect less of them. Earlier this year, the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics reported American life expectancy dropped from 78.8 years in 2019 to 77.3 years in 2020.  It cannot all be blamed on COVID. Life expectancy in the United States has been declining since 2014.

Undoubtedly there are a variety of reasons for this decline. One thing that is rarely mentioned is that happiness and longevity go together. Ten of the 20 countries with the longest reported life expectancies are also ten of the top 20 countries ranked as the world’s happiest in the 2020 World Happiness Report conducted by the United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network. It may not be the most formal research, but it appears it you want to live long, you have a better chance at it if you’re living it happily. And how do you make live a happy life. Make every day special.

Each day, over 150,000 people spend their last day on earth. It is estimated that only about 2/3 of those people die of age-related complications and one can make the argument that 1 out of every 3 people who die don’t expect it. Almost everybody who has survived a life-threatening event acknowledges the specialness of each day. To them every day of their new life is a gift. You should not have to have been threatened with the loss of future days to recognize each day’s presence as exceptional. Nor should a day need a special event for it to be special. Every day is exceptional and each day is an event in its own right.

2 + 2 5 (2)Fred Rogers knew about special days. He closed each episode of his Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood television show with “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” There was no question that he meant it and that every day was special to him.  In a 2019 Los Angeles Times interview, his widow Joanne said, “People invariably say, ‘Well, I can’t do that, but I sure do admire him. I would love to do it.’ Well, you can do it. I’m convinced there are lots of Fred Rogerses out there.” Fred Rogers made everyone feel special because he genuinely cared for people and was not afraid to express it.

if you search “How to make someone feel special.” on the Internet, you will find, “Bring them chocolate, write them a note, give them your full attention, surprise them with a gift.” None of the returns say, “Be honest and genuine with everyone you meet, don’t be mean, treat everyone with respect, make everyone leave feeling good about having been with you.”

To make others feel special you need only show genuine them concern and respect. We uplift each other while we can, because there is no guarantee of a tomorrow. “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you.” It’s time to celebrate this special day, today!

Happy Holidays

Happy Easter Monday the day after Easter to Roman Catholics and most Christians, Holy Monday the second day after Lazarus Saturday and day after Palm Sunday to Orthodox Catholics and many Eastern Rite Christians, Chag Sameach as we are at the Fourth Day of Passover or Pesach to the Jew Communities, an early Ramadan to Muslims whose holy month starts in just under two weeks on May 5, a late New Year which was April 19 to Theravada Buddhists, and again a late Hanuman Jayanti celebrating the birth of Hanuman one of the prominent heroes of the Indian super epic Ramayana also on April 19 per the Hindu calendar. My apologies to all if I got any dates, names, or reasons wrong or I missed anybody completely.

I bring this up because it’s worth bringing up. All diverse peoples all taking time out from a hectic time of year, just as seasons are changing and schools are ending and graduates are starting new lives and gardens and yards are being tended for the first time in a while and probably bunches of other stuff that you’re doing and I hadn’t written down. These aren’t new celebrations. None of these were thought up by a greeting card company or a marketing firm. Frankly, if you are celebrating one of these you probably aren’t paying much attention to any of the others. Yet together, within a 2 week period almost all of the world will be celebrating as they have been celebrating for millennia. And they will be, and I dare say most of us will be, celebrating religion.

For all that the world has given us it is our religions that live on. They are our collective identities. The sources differ, the customs differ, the names differ, but the reason is one. To each of us there is a path, a way, a trek through ourselves to a greater end. Don’t talk about politics or religion at the dinner table we are cautioned. Politics yes, never talk about politics. Blech! But religion. I’m not so sure about that. I think if we saw beyond our own and looked not at how others celebrate we would find what we celebrate is quite well known to each of us and we might find that each of us is reflecting in and perhaps even a part of the one across the heretofore forbidden common table.

I use the word celebrate very specifically. Not that we worship or to whom we pray or what we venerate. We celebrate. Our religions offer us community, stability, an anchor that contributes to our sense of purpose and fulfillment, to our well-being, and to our need to belong and to share. Religion makes us who we are. And it makes us happy.

I think some of that happiness is defined by religion itself. If you think narrowly that happiness is defined by possessions, religion won’t make a difference to you. But to those of you who include things like friendship, accomplishment, guidance, peace, and comfort in the Top Five Ways to become Happy, religion has those. It doesn’t hand them out. You aren’t baptized and immediately become the ultimate guide to peace and tranquility. There is work involved on your part. But it opens the path and begins the build up of happiness. Religion provides the structure to achieve the goal.

Somebody out there may be saying “Religion! Bah, humbug! All religion is good for is to strike fear of an unforgiving god in an unsophisticated person and ask for money.” I say those are they who have not experienced faith and are among the ones whose top ways to become happy are get money, get power, and get laid. And that’s fine if that’s what they want to believe. Just don’t tell me my way is wrong. And don’t be offended now when I see so many others celebrating and I wish the world collectively …

“Happy Holidays!”

Coexist