Tag Halloween

Extra, Extra – It’s Candy Corn Day!

Michael 9 Comments

Hello, everyone. Today’s special post is released in honor of Candy Corn Day! The world’s most perfect food. I know. I said so. I’ve written about candy corn a lot and I think all of them were referenced in last yea’s special post. So I’m reporting most of it here, and give you a break from today’s political lies and insults.

Yes, let’s talk about Candy Corn! You will notice I capitalize the candy and the corn because it’s clearly worth special recognition. And I’ve given it just that. Over the years I’ve written about Candy Corn nearly as often as I have about guns in airports. (But nowhere near as often as Groundhog Day. I have my standards you know.) I think my favorite was this one, Why did the turkey cross the road? You know it must be good because it doesn’t even have Candy Corn in the title. Admittedly much of it recounts my adventure when I was stopped from proceeding up the road by a flock of wild turkeys (the non-alcoholic kind). But Candy Corn makes a surprise appearance toward the end. You should give it a read if you haven’t, or a re-read if you have. Take note, it was written in 2000 when we were being advised to keep our family holiday extravaganzas on the minimalist end of the banquet spectrum.

It was 2014 when Candy Corn got its first starring role in a RRSB blog, Children of the Candy Corn, when I mentioned the many things you can do with it, culinarily speaking. My favorite is still Candy Corn and Prosecco. And it was 2018 when in Corn, Sweet Corn, I expounded on Candy Corn’s claim to being the perfect food even though most autumn offerings push that nasty old pumpkin spice on everything and everybody.

And there you have it, a special ode to that special corn. Happy Candy Corn Day!
I now return to you regularly scheduled insultfest.

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Happy Halloween Eve

Michael 14 Comments

Happy Halloween Eve or as those in the know know, Happy Candy Corn Day! The second best holiday of the entire calendar. (The first best? Groundhog Day, obviously.)

In honor of Candy Corn Day, I’m not going to write about Candy Corn because of all the Candy Corn haters out there. I’m no fool. I keep controversy out of my blog, except for the occasional rant about guns in airports.  Here’s a good one. At the Pittsburgh airport (which two weeks ago set a record for most guns confiscated in a year with 11 weeks still to go), they stopped a bozo from Mississippi trying to go through security with a loaded handgun, two extra fully loaded clips, and a box of ammunition.  No word on if he claimed he forgot they were there. Here’s my question. The numbskull is from Mississippi, and he was stopped in a Pennsylvania airport with his cache. Did he just happen to find an irresistible sale on guns, clips, and bullets and snagged his booty in between visits with Aunt Emma and Great Grandmama? Or did he somehow manage to get all that hardware through security in Tupelo a week earlier? This is who you’re flying with people!

Anyway, let’s talk about Candy Corn. You will notice I capitalize the candy and the corn because it’s clearly worth special recognition. And I’ve given it just that. Over the years I’ve written about Candy Corn nearly as often as I have about guns in airports. (But nowhere near as often as Groundhog Day. I have my standards you know.) I think my favorite was this one, Why did the turkey cross the road? You know it must be good because it doesn’t even have Candy Corn in the title. Admittedly much of it recounts my adventure when I was stopped from proceeding up the road by a flock of wild turkeys (the non-alcoholic kind). But Candy Corn makes a surprise appearance toward the end. You should give it a read if you haven’t, or a re-read if you have. Take note, it was written in 2000 when we were being advised to keep our family holiday extravaganzas on the minimalist end of the banquet spectrum.

It was 2014 when Candy Corn got its first starring role in a RRSB blog, Children of the Candy Corn, when I mentioned the many things you can do with it, culinarily speaking. My favorite is still Candy Corn and Prosecco. And it was 2018 when in Corn, Sweet Corn, I expounded on Candy Corn’s claim to being the perfect food even though most autumn offerings push that nasty old pumpkin spice on everything and everybody.

So there you have it, a post not about Candy Corn. A post about other posts about Candy Corn yes, but not about Candy Corn. I stick to my agreements. And I promise never to forget I have an arsenal in my carry-on bag.

Happy Candy Corn Day!

There is no perfect in nature, not even Candy Corn, but there is a lot of beauty. In the most recent Uplift! Beautifully Imperfect, we ask, isn’t that what makes life so special? It’s one of our best and you really should take a couple minutes to explore why we say imperfection is so beautiful.

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Trick or Treat -ish, Part Last

Michael 9 Comments

Well here we are. The big day. The day that began with people wearing costumes to ward off ghosts to a day to honor the dead, to a day for kids to fill their bags with candy, to the day when adults get as drunk as on St. Patrick’s Day. So here we are with some more of my ghoulish thoughts. Innumerable. And for the last time. (Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and cheer.)

 

THOUGHT 1

Did you know the 25% of all candy sold in the US is at Halloween. Take that St. Valentine! And last year, Americans spent nearly $500 million on costumes — for their pets! Both of those facts are courtesy of History.com. If anybody should know what has happened, it would be them. (Hmm I wonder…if anybody would know what has happened, it should be them. I’m not sure which way. If anybody has an strong opinion on that, I’d love to hear about it. Anyway…) I think that’s a TREAT, or at least it’s pretty cute.

According to the American Addiction Center, Halloween is the fifth booziest American holiday. That’s plenty enough on that topic. TRICK

 

THOUGHT 2

You might have seen over the weekend news about the tragedy in South Korea – over 150 people were killed and another 130-plus injured in a crowd surge. The details of what initiated the stampede were not clear by the last time I checked the news. What was known is that it started at a Halloween party and many of the victims were in costume. I’m a country not known for celebrating Halloween. TRICK, BAD TRICK.

I’m sure you didn’t see this in the news but around here almost every community’s fire company’s held Halloween parades, costume parties, and “Truck or Treats.” SUPER FUN BIG TREAT!!

 

THOUGHT 3

There is only one week left till the American general election. I hate to start a sentence like this but…I remember when candidates had pithy little sayings (remember All the way with LBJ?), and then they’d even mention some of their qualifications or at least attributes. Now it is more a matter of how bad can you portray your opponent? Here in my neck of the woods we’ve heard candidates called extreme, dangerous, radical, a fraud, and delusional. Imagine going into a job interview and telling your prospective boss, “You should hire me. I can’t give you any good reason to, but I can tell you that other guy who was just here is delusional.” How can you even say that in an ad. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. TRICK, DISGUSTING TRICK.

Yesterday was National Candy Corn Day. Candy corn is a superfood and a perfect food. I know because I said so here.  I also said, “As far as candy goes, Candy Corn is a healthy snack. Umm, healthier snack. Each serving, officially 15 pieces or one generous handful, is fat and cholesterol free, low sodium, and contains 22 grams of sugar and only 110 calories. Unlike real corn it is also fiber free so they’ll be no uncomfortable bloating.” What more could you ask for? (What more can you ask for? I have to research conditional tenses before next week. Anyway…) Candy corn leaves a good taste in my mouth. SUPER BIG BETTER THAN PEANUT BUTTER TREAT!!!

BONUS THOUGHT

Did you know we are forever learning, growing, and evolving, and are perpetual works in progress on a permanent quest for improvement. Read why we say never resist a temporary inconvenience if it results in a permanent improvement at ROAMcare.org. (Believe me, it will be a TREAT!)

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Corn Sweet Corn

Michael 8 Comments
Darn that pumpkin spice craze. The real flavor darling of the season rightfully should be Candy Corn. You read that right – Candy Corn. Capitalized Candy Corn because it is something special.
 
Candy Corn is not only the perfect candy dish filler but it is also a perfect food and a superfood all in one. It’s a perfect food in that it contains the four basic food groups – water, sugar, corn syrup, and artificial colors and flavors. It’s a superfood because it is fat free, low calorie (compared to a bag of chocolate bars), and tastes better that kale. And Candy Corn has it’s own day that isn’t even Halloween orThanksgiving. Take that, kale!
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Candy Corn has been around for a long time, and contrary to some thinking, it isn’t the same corn every year you see in the stores. You would be confusing Candy Corn with fruit cake. Candy Corn first hit the confectioners’ shelves in the 1880s. It wasn’t until after World War II that it become really popular but like all things genius, Candy Corn took a while a catch on.
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As far as candy goes, Candy Corn is a healthy snack. Umm, healthier snack. Each serving, officially 15 pieces or one generous handful, is fat and cholesterol free, low sodium, and contains 22 grams of sugar and only 110 calories. Unlike real corn it is also fiber free so they’ll be no uncomfortable bloating if you should go wild and eat an entire bag in one sitting. Not unheard of, let me tell you!
 
Thirty-five millions pounds of Candy Corn are made each year. That’s nine billion (9,000,000,000) kernels. Give or take a few. Candy Corn sales will bring in $340 million this year! That’s not chicken feed, which incidentally was Candy Corn’s original name. Those numbers are just the commercial production. Candy Corn is easy to make at home with recipes abounding on the internet even from the likes of celebrity chef Alton Brown, no fancy molds required. 
 
You still have a couple days to get ready for the biggest fall holiday, October 30, National Candy Corn Day! Whether you make your own or buy a bag, celebrate responsibly this year with Candy Corn!
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99

Michael 7 Comments

99.4% pure

99 bottles of beer on the wall

99 luftballons

99 parts perspiration

99 days until Christmas

SantaFrankYikes! Only 99 days until Christmas! That must explain why I’m starting to see Christmas displays and decorations for sale in the stores. They don’t have themselves decorated yet. Halloween is the theme for their own decor but there are indeed in store Christmas displays started to crop up. I went to At Home last week and walked by close to a hundred artificial trees just inside the main entrance.

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve tried (often failed but tried) to adhere to the adage “proper planning prevents poor performance” but I don’t think the first space shot took three months of preparation. Ok, that’s probably not true but still.

Since the world is giving us three months to prepare for Christmas (or whatever winter holiday you want to celebrate, I’m picking Christmas), here are 99 suggested activities. One for each day.

 

  1. Tell someone you love them
  2. Tell someone you love who you haven’t talked to for a while that you love them
  3. Read something you know will make you smile
  4. Watch a movie
  5. Give blood or give a donation to your local blood bank
  6. Listen to a song you used to sing along to
  7. Send somebody a card or letter – a real one, not one with an “e” in front
  8. Hug a friend
  9. Buy flowers for yourself
  10. Offer to help
  11. Take a walk
  12. Read something you know will make you cry
  13. Update your emergency contact information
  14. Splurge on yourself
  15. Pet a dog
  16. Watch a cartoon
  17. Call a friend (Don’t text!)
  18. Do something without thinking
  19. Apologize for what you did yesterday
  20. Straighten your sock drawer
  21. Meditate
  22. Hold a door open
  23. See the dentist! At least make an appointment
  24. Try something healthy
  25. Eat a cookie
  26. Try something new
  27. Retry something old
  28. Have a waffle
  29. Go to a museum
  30. Sing along to a song you used to listen to.
  31. Leave a penny
  32. Call a relative
  33. Play with a child’s toy
  34. Draw a picture
  35. Play solitaire
  36. Exercise until you like it
  37. Watch an old movie
  38. Change (or make) your email signature
  39. Read a short story
  40. Sing a song a capella
  41. Laugh for no reason
  42. Make up a knock knock joke
  43. Be nice to someone you don’t agree with
  44. Eat an apple
  45. Eat candy
  46. Unplug
  47. Talk with an accent
  48. Sleep late
  49. Put together a jigsaw puzzle
  50. Take a ride for no reason
  51. Pet a cat
  52. Hug a friend again
  53. Recycle
  54. Give something away
  55. Change the batteries in your smoke detectors
  56. Whistle a happy tune
  57. Pickle something
  58. Be bold
  59. Be careful
  60. Admit fault
  61. Talk to others nicely
  62. Tell a story
  63. Invite a friend over
  64. Talk to yourself nicely
  65. Let someone go in front of you
  66. Don’t be late!
  67. Take a chance
  68. Buy a chance
  69. Yell out loud
  70. Say something nice
  71. Give thanks
  72. Buy something you don’t need
  73. Put on a happy face
  74. Take a selfie
  75. Organize the spice cabinet
  76. Go to bed early
  77. Offer to help
  78. Have a brownie
  79. Donate something you haven’t used yet this year
  80. Smile
  81. Agree – respectfully ChristmasTree
  82. Look at old pictures
  83. Work it out
  84. Be silly
  85. Clear your mind
  86. Ask for help
  87. Disagree – respectfully
  88. Wear plaid
  89. Write a review
  90. Clean the mirrors
  91. Clean the refrigerator
  92. Tell someone a secret
  93. Learn three new words
  94. Draw something
  95. Wave to the neighbors
  96. Welcome an old friend
  97. Plan next year’s resolution(s)
  98. Take responsibility
  99. Say a prayer

 

Merry Christmas. Eventually.

What Faux Fall Flora Wrought

Michael 6 Comments

We are almost half way through September which means if you haven’t yet, you soon are going to be too late to buy any of the good Halloween decorations. I was thinking about this last weekend when I was taking stock of my meager faux fall flora for my coffee table and front door. I like fall. I like the colors. I like the calmness that seems to fall upon fall mornings. But except for fun size candy bars, I’m not so much into Halloween.

Apparently I didn’t get the memo. Last year Americans spent over $9 million on Halloween decorations. Right around 9,100,000 dollars according to The Balance e-zine. They went on to say that is because it’s an economical holiday and people “are willing to spend money on something if it provides a lot of value. Halloween does that.” I guess they didn’t see the $14 hairy spider at Big Lots. Or maybe they did and their idea of value is different from mine.

FauxFallFloraIf you crunch some numbers and divide this into that, that being how many people claim to celebrate Halloween with more than spiked cider and this being that 9 million figure, you come up with a spend of about $86 per person. I’ve spent that much on a nativity set and I have well over 50 of them. (Really. Some people are into hairy spiders, I’m into nativities. I have them, many complete with wise men, made of clothes pins, cheesecloth, corn husks, ceramic, glass, plastic, straw, bronze, wood (carved, sculpted, machine cut and assembled, hinged, and nested), bronze, stone, steel, marble, paper, wool and rubber, sawn from barn board, and cut out of paper.) It’s what I do for Christmas so I can’t say if you want to eighty-some bucks on Halloween you’re nuts. But if you’re planning on spending eighty-some bucks on Halloween, you’re nuts! Except for the little candy bars. Those are cool.

Anyway…just yesterday I was going through my email and I came across a headline “Ugly Halloween Sweaters Were Made For People Who Are Too Lazy to Dress Up.” Well, I couldn’t pass up that piece of bait and I clicked away. What I discovered is, like ugly Christmas sweaters, the ugly Halloween sweaters really aren’t. This is just my opinion but that opinion is that they are kind of cute. The other thing I discovered is that somebody’s going to have to revise that $86 per person spending estimate. Those sweaters go for about $40 per.

For myself, I’m sticking with the faux fall flora. Maybe I’ll spend my $86 on another manger scene this Christmas.

 

It’s Beginning To…

Michael 4 Comments

I was out shopping yesterday. Shopping is probably overstating it. I went out to pick up a prescription so it wasn’t like I was planning a spree complete with breakfast out, a break somewhere around mid-day, and tea and scones before wrapping things up and heading home with my packages. My plan was to pour the rest of the morning coffee into a travel mug, shoot down the road to the pharmacy while sucking down the leftover sludge, run past the drive up window to retrieve aforementioned prescription, then head for home where fresh, follow up coffee should be ready for the next cup.

That was the plan. And it would have worked if there hadn’t been a 3 car line in the drive through. Blame it on the rain. So I pulled into one of the every spot open in the lot spots, reinforced myself with an extra glug of caffeinated dregs, and headed inside.

I could have still stayed close to my original plan and been home before the car heater had a chance to actually heat except for the aisle that I had to walk through to get to the prescription counter. The seasonal merchandise. And the season of the hour is …… Christmas.

I can’t help it but I am a Christmas Junk Junky. If it sparkles, I will stare at it. If it blinks and flashes, my eyes will follow it. And if it has a “Try Me!” button, I’ll try it. It doesn’t matter if it’s a multicolor LED light set, a winter scene in motion snow globe, or a plush flamingo singing “Santa Baby.”

SantaBabyI must have bought the last one of those 6 or 7 years ago because I haven’t seen one since. Yes, I’m the one who’s one aisle over pushing all the buttons and laughing like I’ve just seen A Charlie Brown Christmas for the first time. (That reminds me, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown will be on ABC this Sunday at 8.) (In case you were wondering.)

I know, for the last 6 years I’ve harped on how stores rush every season, unveiling this Christmas’s hottest toy before last Easter’s leftover remote control hopping bunny can make it to the clearance bin, but all is forgiven (temporarily) while I read the cards’ inside inscriptions or check out the dancing Santa and elves. If Christmas brings out the kid in us, it does doubly so on me. In me?

Then I realized I hadn’t even bought Halloween candy and came to my senses. As long as I was inside the store I picked up a little supply of candy for next week’s treats. I rarely get trick or treaters where I am but just in case I wanted to have something on hand. Besides, the Halloween stuff is such a great size for when you want just a bite. But it will never beat red and green M&M candies in a motorized nutcracker dispenser. Um, yeah. I got one of those, too.

 

Scary Stuff and Other Frightening Things

Michael Leave a comment

What scares you? Are you like Franklin Roosevelt going about life fearing nothing but fear itself (which can be either all-comforting or all-encompassing depending on your particular bend)? Or are you like Charlie Brown troubled with real imagined fears (or imagined real fears) but most afraid of rejection by the Little Red Haired Girl? Or are you more likely to be afraid of those things that everybody else says are more afraid of you than you are of them (your fears, not everybody else)?

Well, fear no more about being besot with fearful fears and fearing nobody knows the fears that you fear.  Chapman University has released its 2016 List of Fears just in time for Halloween 2016 – or Election Day 2016 depending on that bend again. OK, it released it three weeks ago but it took me a while to find it. It took me two weeks to even realize it was out there to be found!ghost

What I found when I found it is that it’s actually kind of frightening to think about some of the things people are afraid of. Almost 22% of those survey are afraid of the government using drones within the country’s borders. They didn’t specify what they were afraid of those drones doing, presumably just hanging out and watching. Nearly sixteen percent expressed a fear of technology, specifically “technology that I don’t understand.” If I was in that group I’d be in huge trouble. I don’t even understand how a radio works and we’re talking nineteenth century technology.

The order people give to fears also makes one wonder. More people are afraid of having property stolen (25.5%) than of being the victim of a violent crime (19.4%). So much for “at least you weren’t hurt; you can always replace things” being words of comfort to a break-in victim. Same goes for those who are just slightly less afraid of ObamaCare (It certainly has problems but I’m not sure how you actually can be afraid of it) and credit card fraud (both coming in at 35.5%) than having a loved one being seriously ill or dying (35.9% and 38.1% respectively).

But it’s Halloween. Surely ghosts and goblins are on the list somewhere. Ghosts, yes (8.9%), goblins, no. But zombies strike fear in even more people than ghosts do (10.2%). Yet even with all the recent bad publicity, clowns are the second least feared item on this year’s list frightening 7.8% of those surveyed (and coming in a whole percentage point higher than the fear of others talking about you behind your back – something I’m not afraid of at all since I’m sure most of you do as soon as you finish reading one of these posts).

So what was the one thing most feared by Americans? From over 1500 responses to 79 identified fears, Americans most feared not some natural disaster, not some man-made disaster, not even some supernatural disaster. Over 60% of Americans (60.6% to be as exact as the survey said), are most afraid of corrupt government officials. Now, if you’re living in Denmark you probably can’t relate to the thought of government corruption but then you still believe in the boogeyman.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

To see the complete list of fears, click here. Oh, go ahead. Don’t be scared.

 

Caution, Fall(ing) Pumpkin Ahead

Michael 2 Comments

Another week and it will be Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer. Sigh. But wait! The end of summer means Halloween will soon be upon us. In fact, Halloween candy is already filling supermarket shelves. Oh, Halloween is cool and all, but the best part of Halloween is the candy. Specifically, peanut butter pumpkins.

Summer is great, but something summer doesn’t have is its own Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Think about it. There are Reese’s Christmas Tree Peanut Butter Cups, Reese’s Valentine Heart Peanut Butter Cups, Reese’s Easter Egg  Peanut PBminiButter Cups, and the soon to be here Reese’s Pumpkin  Peanut Butter Cups. That covers fall, winter, and spring a few times over. What happened to summer? It’s a long time from Easter egg to Halloween pumpkin and I can’t wait.

I know some of you are wondering what the big deal is. It’s only chocolate and peanut butter for Heaven’s sake already. I say, for Heaven’s sake, it’s chocolate and peanut butter already! That’s a big deal! That’s like two of the four basic food groups in one bite. If we could add bourbon and bacon we could make it four for four! But I digress. It’s chocolate and peanut butter and if ever there was meant to be a match made in heaven, it’s those two.

(If you’re allergic to peanuts, please accept my apologies for being so excited about this. This well could be a greater vice for me than my otherwise reported secret vice (see Can You Keep a Secret, Aug. 3, 2015) only not kept behind closed doors.) (Sorry, digressing again.)

Now that the long hot summer is winding down, chocolate-and-peanut-butter-aholics can breathe a sigh of relief knowing those oval pillows of peanuttery chocolateness are close by. In the meantime, I think we need to check in with those people at Hershey and see what the deal is with summer. What’s wrong with a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Beach Ball?

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

 

Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater

Michael 1 Comment

If Peter, Peter was dining on that big orange gourd today he’d have a hard time finding a pumpkin shell for the Missus. That’s because they are making everything out of pumpkin these days. There’s so much pumpkin out there they have to be using every bit of it, including the shells!

Just a couple of weeks ago I wondered about the early emergence of pumpkin beer. (See “So They Say,” August 24, 2015.) And a year ago I wondered about the preponderance of pumpkin everythings. (See “It’s the Not So Great Pumpkin,” October 20, 2014.) This week we can combine the two. Just in one supermarket ad flyer that came out so early in September the days were still in single digits there appeared sixteen ways to eat your pumpkin – all on one page. Peter, Peter would have a field day!

There are pumpkin cookies, cakes, and coffee like always. There’s pumpkin yogurt, granola, and gelato for the adventurous. There is pumpkin bisque and pumpkin ravioli for those of questionable stability. And there will be more when we eventually actually enter fall.

One thing we’ll probably not see at all, though, is pumpkin tea. Did you ever notice that coffee drinkers get the odd flavors associated with holidays and seasons? Coffee comes in peppermint, cider, jelly bean, and, of course, pumpkin flavors. Tea is just tea. Oh there are herbal varieties and different tea flavors but those are either all teas or not teas at all. And they don’t change with the weather. A tea drinker can get his or her favorite variety year round.

I didn’t see an ad for pumpkin flavored chewing gum this year. Yet. Last year it was pretty close to Halloween before that item showed up in an ad. I did see an ad for pumpkin flavored tortilla chips. Don’t forget the queso.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?