Tag Haircut

A Hair Raising Thought

Michael 1 Comment

I was staring into the mirror the other day when a thought hit me. You know that I spent a couple of months in the hospital recently. I had so much blood thinner running through me that for several weeks no one dared approach me with a razor. I had gone in wearing a beard that already could have used a trim and it didn’t take much time for it to qualify as “bushy.” Not a bad look but not for me.

While I was wondering if I would ever get be groomed again I started wondering why hair seems to grow only above the neck.Or in my case, above the neck but below the scalp. Stay with me here.

I have to trim my beard at least once a week to keep the level of neatness that I like. (I don’t always make it but that’s what I strive for.) The parts of my face not covered in hair get shaved daily. The hair on my head, actually the ring of hair around my head seems to always need a haircut starting with the day after I get a haircut. And for some reason the left side of that ring grows faster than the right side. As I said, the parts above the neck are always growing hair.

The rest of the hair follicles across other body parts don’t seem to be as diligent about new growth. I have never, ever shaved my arms yet the amount of hair there has not changed since I was in high school. If I hadn’t cut the hair on my head since then I would be pushing it around in a wheelbarrow. Arms, legs, chest, underarms, and those private areas seem to have some auto-sensor about when to stop growing.

The hair at those places will grow if it has to. I have had areas shaved for medical procedures and everywhere that was done the hair ultimately returned to its pre-procedure length and then stopped. How does it know?

But back to that day that I was staring into the mirror. I definitely needed a beard trim but just wasn’t in the mood. Not a good enough reason to keep the trimmer in its holder. Facial hair just has no clue as to when to stop growing on its own.

That;s what I think. Really. How ’bout you?

A Little Off the Top

Michael Leave a comment

This weekend past was the NFL Week One weekend. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal.  College football has been going on for a couple of weeks.  High school and midget or little league football might have been happening for close to a month in some places.  And even pro football hasn’t been unheard from with nationally televised pre-season games.  But this was the official week.  The week when football at all levels was played and the games counted.  And there must have been much concern over the summer months because the coaches are all bald.

On Sunday when they spend lots of time aiming the cameras at the coaches along the sidelines during the game that you care about and are watching and all the others that they show during the half-time and post-game reports during and after the game you care about, most of those coaches were hairless.  Ditto for the college coaches on Saturday.  Even on the Friday night local news and in the Saturday morning paper, many of the high school coaches that got some PR time showed off their newly shorn former locks.  Bald we tell you!  They are all bald!

They will say they are making a statement, showing off their toughness, deliberating declaring themselves to be the more testosterone laden version versus the one across the field on the opponents’ benches.  They are the cross between The Rock and Bruce Willis.  Hmmm, let’s look a little closer.

We think they are all shaving their heads because they want to mask their receding hairlines.  For many men, it’s not an easy thing to deal with.  It’s much easier to design a successful pass rush when you look as menacing as the rushers.  Half-time pep talks go over bigger when you just have to grunt and let the bad locker room lighting reflect the sheen from a recent shave.  But when everybody is doing it, it’s not so cool.

We’re estimating close to 75% of the coaches spotted on the sidelines displayed the all over haircut.  (Oddly, those coaches with hair seemed to be wearing hats.)  Where the threat (of whatever) showed when the shaved head was one in a hundred, at 100 out of 100 they are just all the same model.  It is sort of like when the coaches stopped wearing suits on the sidelines and went for golf shirts.  The first few added to their menace repertoire as everyone could see their muscles bulging against the stretchy fabric.  Now they just look ready to hit the late night appetizer specials at the tavern down the street.

So, is the shaved head going to be the new fashion statement for this year’s sideline strollers?  Perhaps.  It’s not necessarily a bad look.  It’s just that those who are sporting it should remember why they favor the clean crown.  And remember that cross between The Rock and Bruce Willis?  Do it enough times and somebody is going to end up looking like a cross between Mr. Clean and Humpty Dumpty.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Hair Today, Gone Yesterday

Michael 1 Comment

All He wanted was a haircut.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a local shop, a national chain, or a guy/gal in his/her basement with a shampoo sink and a set of clippers.  Around here, a basic men’s haircut is $29.  To a woman, that’s probably a bargain.  To a man, that’s infuriating.

He of We is always infuriated that Daughter of He can find shoes on sale for $10 and that’s before the 50% off coupon from the Sunday paper and another 20% off with the friends and family discount card everybody gets when walking through the door.  His shoes?  On the clearance table after looking for a matching pair, $85.  But the $29 haircut is more infuriating.  Here’s why.

Every shop has a price list up on the wall.  Nobody has ever figured out why.  Men’s haircuts aren’t haute coiffure.  Your basic barber/stylist when confronted with a man’s head will snip, buzz, shave, whisk, say thank you, and collect the tip.  One thing on that price list is the senior citizen discount.  That runs the $29 basic cut down to about ten bucks or the price of women’s shoes on sale.  We suppose the logic is that an old guy has less hair than a young one.  Not so.  Both Sons of She have hairlines approaching that of Mr. Clean’s and neither is yet old enough to run for president.  By a lot.  Likewise, He’s hairline has been more easily measured from the back since he was in his 20’s.  The discount should go to the one who has less hair, not more years.

Another thing that is infuriating about the $29 basic cut is that He usually just gets his hair buzzed.  At his last sitting on a barber chair the “stylist” asked how he wanted it.  “Clippers please, number two.”  After asking if He realized how short that was he pointed to the little hair he had on his head.  “Anything longer than number 2 and you won’t be taking anything off.”  She agreed, took about 5 minutes to drape the drape over him, plop a set of cutters into a razor, and set them for the requested depth.  Then she took about 2 minutes cutting his hair then popped the blades off, undraped him, handed him a mirror (which after a lifetime of haircuts he still wasn’t sure why), and stood back waiting for a tip.

So this time when He needed a haircut he walked into the same shop, was greeted by the same “stylist,” asked for the clippers set at number two, acknowledged that he knew how short that was, and was digging out her tip 7 minutes after sitting in the chair.

For $29 you should get at least enough time to talk about last night’s game.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.