Tag Gifts

A Gift of Time

Michael 2 Comments
 

I intended to post this last Monday but I instead did a mini tribute for Sean Connery. So, it may be a few days late but still timely. (Timely! Get it, timely. Hahahaa, oh I crack myself up!

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They say time marches on. They also say we should adjust our time twice a year. Did you remember to change your clocks before you turned in Saturday night or did you arrive everywhere an hour late on Sunday? Or would that have been an hour early? “They” tell us to do these things and we do, not often thinking of the consequence if we don’t because we never don’t.

In the grand scheme of things our time here is not terribly important. The world has been around for 4.5 billion years. Man has inhabited it for 200,000 of those. That’s about 0.0044%. Not statistically significant. But humans don’t think in terms of the grand scheme. We consider every hour precious and when we’re told to give one back, like we were last April, we spend days complaining about the hour we lost. It becomes the excuse for all time related failures. “I was late for work because I had to set the clock ahead last Saturday.” But this “Last Saturday” we were given a gift of an hour. For one hour on Sunday morning we got a redo. We had the chance to relive an hour of our lives. What did you do with your gift? If you just slept it away you’re probably in good company as I’m sure that was how many spent their time.

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I’ve never made a true study of it but I would not doubt that “If I had to do it all over again … ” is one of the most oft uttered phrases in the English language and no doubt its equivalent in all the others. (Except maybe Esperanto. Well, it sounded like a good idea to somebody.) (Esperanto that is, not uttering “If I had to do it over again.” That doesn’t just sound like a good idea, it is a good idea.) (The phrase, not Esperanto.) (Sheesh!) I also don’t doubt that most people end that with “… I’d do the same thing.” It sounds like such a good idea. It is such a good idea! It’s such a good idea the golf people gave it a name – a Mulligan. It’s such a good idea don’t hold it against the golf people for coming up with such a stupid name. It’s such a good idea kids in the playground gave it a name too, a good name. A do over. It’s such a good idea, the world gifted us with twenty-four additional extra hours this year. Imagine all the things you might have redone with an extra day. (And that day came before most of the real Covid Craziness!) Imagine an extra day trip, an extra day to vacation, or an extra day on the slopes or on the beach depending on your personal preference. 

Or would you use an extra day as an opportunity to spend a day volunteering instead of selfishing. I’ll go closer to the end of the limb and say that thought probably doesn’t come up often. Maybe that’s why if presented an opportunity to do it all over again we profess to rather not changing anything. Maybe it has been so hard to get where we are we don’t want to take a chance on doing it differently. Or maybe we’re just plain old selfish.

The next time you wonder if you had to it all over again, if that opportunity to relive an hour of your life were to come again, would you do anything different? You’ll get your chance again about a year from now. Think about that that the next time you wish you had a do over.

 
 

The Big Brush Off

Michael 9 Comments
Who knew there was a name for it? I suppose that makes it easier for headlines and reporting, but this one you didn’t even see there. I first heard it when it popped up in the middle of a followup news story. “It’s called brushing,” the helpful reporter helpfully reported. Of course now it’s all over the place.
 
You remember those seeds people would find in the mail. Seeds from China not ordered yet delivered to mailboxes across America. In the third month of wide spread quarantines due to COVID, mysterious packages from China weren’t received with the awe and elation one might more typically express at finding surprise packages under a tree in December. It turned out the seeds were just that. Seeds. Mostly flowers, some herbs. Just seeds. And it turned out that just seeds weren’t just the only things showing up in mailboxes. People reported receiving sunglasses, stickers, speakers, and socks. The common factors in all these, besides the items starting with “s,” were the absence of any sender documents, invoices, or packing slips, and they weren’t ordered by the people receiving them.
 
“It’s called brushing.” It’s also not new. Last year multiple claims of unordered items being received were reported to Amazon as were they also in 2018. The earliest report of the scam I found was in October of 2017 and I wasn’t working that hard to find any. By then it appeared to be already very well established and a common practice in e-commerce. According to the Better Business Bureau brushing is the practice where a company, usually a third-party seller, sends items to an address that they found online or from a purchased mailing list. The intention is to make it appear as though a verified buyer purchased the product and wrote a glowing online review of the merchandise. This not only increases product ratings but since the item is actually “purchased” it increases the company’s sales leading to more contracts for the third party handler. Typically they are cheap items small enough that can be shipped inexpensively.
 
Representatives from various agencies and organizations including the BBB, the Federal Trade Commission, and the U. S. Postal Service recommend that if you receive an unordered package to contact the retailer or shipper if identified on the label and report that you have been the victim of the scam, and in the case of seeds or edible products to forward the package to local authorities or the United States Department of Agriculture. According to the FTC if you decide you want to keep the item you can because it is in its opinion a “free gift.”
 
Where is the downside except for the long shot possibility that a seed could turn your backyard a Little Shop of Horrors clone? For one, the one that all the experts keep bringing up, how did the sender get your name and address? Face it fellas, our names and addresses aren’t secret. I couldn’t begin to count the number of companies, agencies, clubs, and services that have my name and address. Of more concern that nobody mentions is this third party seller is posting a review in your name and that can’t be done unless you are signed into the site. Suddenly the recommendation everyone makes to change your passwords, even though they don’t say why, is making more sense.
 
And now finally after about five hundred words on brushing I get to the point of today’s post. Just how secure can we make our information even changing passwords and security questions on a regular basis. (By the way, those security questions – does anybody lie about them? Wouldn’t that make more sense? I mean if they are the last line of defense and somebody has already cracked your 23 character upper and lower case, number and special character containing password that you change every 4 days, surely they know what street you grew up on. But I digress.)
 
Banks and security, they don’t go together like pork and beans. I thought of this last week when my daughter told me her credit card issued by a local bank was used by someone to subscribe to some ongoing monthly service. She discovered this while she was reviewing her monthly statement. She contacted the vendor, confirmed the fraudulent charge, contacted the bank and was issued a new card, along with being issued the routine “change your password, PIN, and security questions” instructions. Because that card was one she used for some of her own recurring monthly subscriptions and payments she would have to reenter all that information in those sites. She recieved her new card and began the process of updating payment information when she noticed a vendor already had the new numbers on her profile. Thinking she had just done that and forgot she moved on to another and found their information had been likewise updated. This prompted a new call to the bank and she was informed that “as a service” the bank routinely provides the new information to recurring payment vendors. She reminded them her account had been compromised by way of a recurring payment vendor and asked if they thought was the best course of action to be distributing people’s private information. The response was “most people appreciate not having to go through all that work.”
 
Now that was the real brush off. 

Food For Thought

Michael 2 Comments

It’s time to clean out the refrigerator. For me it’s that time every time this time of week. I’ll be getting ready to cook.

Perhaps I should start in the middle. When I was in the hospital, because of why I was there my sister naturally was also in the hospital. That took two members of my immediate family out of daily activities including, among other things, cooking. The other two spent much of their time at the hospital while were inpatients, limiting their available time for daily activities including, among other things, cooking. But friends and other relatives eased that burden by creating food chains or meal trains. When it became evident that I was destined for a much longer than anticipated hospital stay and recovery period, those friends and relatives along with friends of relatives and even relatives of friends presented us with the modern equivalent of hot casseroles, gift subscriptions to meal services. So many in fact that this Sunday we will be preparing the last of the gifted meals.

We in this case are my daughter and I. We’ve been spending a day a week almost every week since mid-June, first in her kitchen now in mine, preparing the following week’s meals. This is hardly unique. Much of the working world preps and even pre-cooks the upcoming week’s meals. Even when I was part of the working world I would do some manner of advance preparation. Then it was often a matter of my daughter and I chopping, seasoning, arranging, and storing in a suitable cooking vessel that day’s dinner before I went off to work and she to school each morning. Sometime after her return in the afternoon she cookrd and plated as I dragged myself in from another day at the rat races. (I always bet the #7 rat to win the 7th race by 7 lengths but he never came in.)

So you see, meal prepping is in our blood, or at least on our resumes. Little things like my daughter’s own entry into the working world and my entry into the limited lifting and standing world, coupled with the fact that we no longer live in the same house, make daily prep pretty inconvenient. But the once a week plan has really made life much easier for me.

Something else it’s made me is it’s made me think how fortunate I am to have a daughter who is willing to give up one of her two free days each week to spend with her father. It’s also made me realize that if there are a few others like her out there maybe this world isn’t destined for global annihilation as soon as the last of the Baby Boomers leaves it. The few hours it takes us to chop and season, arrange and cook, store and clean up make for some pretty quality time. And so does the eating and sitting and chatting and re-bonding after.

A family dinner really is a gift. Even a bunch of them all at once.

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What Not To Buy

Michael 8 Comments

Country Living magazine recently published a list of the 29 gifts you do not want to give for Christmas. I’ll tell you up front that I disagree with 28 of them as well as the entire idea of the list.

First, why 29? That seems arbitrary. Who comes up with a Top Twenty-Nine of anything? We’re they just sitting around in the production office and tossing out things they don’t like getting while tossing back some double fortified eggnog? If you can’t be firm on a topic and declare “These are the 10 worst gifts ever!!!” why should you expect anyone to take the basket full of suggested “don’t do it” gifts with any seriousness?

NoGiftsBeyond the idea itself being of little value to normal people, the items they chose would actually make pretty wonderful gifts. Assuming you are gifting to those you care about enough to give thought and consideration to your gift giving, 28 of the 29 items could be tops on anybody’s wish list.

For example, they had to hop on the “let’s hate fruit cake bandwagon” and include the delicacy on their never ever give list. I personally like fruit cake. If you gave me a fruitcake you would go directly to top of my I Love You list. Just don’t give me one that was prepared 11 months ago in a factory that also puts out sparklers for the summer market. If you gave me a mass produced chocolate lava cake made more than 4 hours ago I would use that as a stop to prop open the front door while I threw you out on your ear. So stop knocking my decision to like fruitcake and start practicing that inclusion stuff you keep posting on Facebook!

Another item in their list of taboo tchotchkes is fitness equipment lest you send the message that your giftee is in need of some serious body work. If your friend or family member is an avid exerciser would he or she not appreciate that your share their enthusiasm for self-improvement? One of the best gifts I ever received was my fitness tracker. It provides daily encouragement to keep moving else I find myself behind a walker again. Interestingly, among their suggestions in lieu of exercise equipment is a pocket wine aerator. Now isn’t that just the perfect thing to gift to you closest drunk on the go?

I could go on 26 more times but you get the idea. Gift guides are fun because you can look at stuff out there you may never have thought of and know somebody who would be just right for this or that. But non-gift guides are just mean! They send the message that if you considered any of those items that you’re a lesser person. You know what those on your list like and appreciate. Don’t let somebody you don’t know tell you what your friends and family want!

Oh, what was the one thing on their list I would agree with being a less than thoughtful present? Toilet paper. Yep, toilet paper. Did that really have to be on a list at all? Then again, we are the culture that came up with pet rocks (still available!) and designer sweatpants (on sale now!!).

Remember, only 7 shopping days until Christmas. Happy Holidays!

(No, I don’t get any compensation from the pet rock people, Saks Fifth Avenue, designer anybody, lava cake bakeries, the Association for the Ethical Treatment of Fruitcake (EAT-Fruitcake), toilet paper, and Country Living magazine.) (Although I do subscribe to Country Living so if they want to gift me a couple years renewal I won’t argue.) (If they want to cancel me, I will argue.) (If you haven’t already figured it out, EAT-Fruitcake doesn’t really exist, at least as far as I know. That was supposed to be funny.) (Come on! I said supposed to.)

Thinking Zebras -or- The Great Annual Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide 2015 Edition

Michael Leave a comment

Here it is, what you’ve been waiting for, the annual, official, one of a kind, nothing else like it, here for this year, the great, the yearly, the Christmas catalog shopping guide for 2015. Whew!

I’m going to have to consider changing the name of the Guide. Catalogs, although still a favorite reader for keeping on the coffee table for use during hockey intermissions, are going the way of corded telephones and VCRs. They are being usurped by their e-mail brethren and show up not once or twice a season but once or twice a day. Yet the over-riding intent is the same, to tempt you into buying the stuff that you have absolutely no idea they even made.

You don’t need me to guide you to radio controlled fishing boats, inflatable radio controlled minions, or sound activated dancing water portable speakers. No, the guide this year returns to the land of excess.

What can be more excessive than a replica Stanley Cup popcorn maker for a mere $99.99 (the popcorn maker is real, it’s the Stanley Cup that is the replica)? How about a motorized, rideable drinks cooler for a mere-er $999.95. You say you want something more sophisticated than hockey and beer? There is always the world’s largest Scrabble game. At over 7 feet by 8 feet this game will keep you on your toes – while reaching to spell a word. It can be under your tree for only $12,000, shipping extra.

The 2011 Guide featured what was then the most expensive item to appear in a catalog that appeared in my mailbox. That was the Optimal Resonance Audiophile Four-Way Three-Dimensional Soundstage Quality Speakers at an amazingly unrealistic $60,000.  Why I would get a catalog with items priced at more than I paid for my last 3 cars combined I don’t know. For some reason, I continue to get mail from that company. This year, we top that by better than half. The new official most expensive item in a holiday gift guide that was sent to me (still, why?) is at $185,000 a game. They call it a simulator but it’s an arcade game for your home, a race simulator mimicking 12 different types of race cars on a variety of track and conditions. Plan on having a 6 x 8 foot space cleared out in the family room for this gem.  You should know this “car” has manual transmission. You might want to buy a beater at the local used car lot to practice your shifting if you haven’t been in a stick lately.

About the title. If spending 30-some years working in the medical field taught me anything it was never discount the obvious. We, and probably many other professions, had a saying. When you hear hooves, think horses not zebras. One of the first holiday mailings I received this year proudly displayed this year’s hottest gift for your most precocious toddler. You know, the one for whom an ordinary rocking horse just won’t do. For that little tyke, the gift (that would be THE gift) is the hand carved rocking zebra. A steal at $9,000.

It’s Christmas. Discount the obvious.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Want to see past Christmas Catalog Gift Guides?
2014 – The Great Annual Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide
2012 – And If You Order Now
2011 – Buy the Way

 

The Last Minute – A Special Piece of Real Reality

Michael Leave a comment

Regular readers know that Real Reality strikes on Mondays and Thursdays.  If you didn’t know that it doesn’t make you irregular.  You just have to read more often.  And/or more regularly.  Anyway, for this to show up on a Wednesday you know it must be something special.  Well, tomorrow is something special so that could make today special too.  It certainly makes today down to the wire.  (No race track analogies in 2015.  Three in a row are plenty for any couple of years!)

Regular readers also know that in Realityville, Christmas Eve is not a shopping day.  Christmas Eve has enough of its own tasks and charges.  You have had plenty of shopping days going back to Black Friday Eve (aka Thanksgiving).  Ask any major retailer.  If you’re not done by now you are on your own.  But don’t bother asking any major retailer.  They lie.

Back to Christmas Eve.  Don’t you have more Christmassy things to do today than shopping anyway?

There are Christmas Eve dinners to attend to.  Is the most recognizable Christmas Eve dinner the Feast of the Seven Fishes?  Perhaps so.  An Italian tradition on a day that Italian Catholics abstain from meat, this vigil meal will be served in many households.  In Eastern Europe, many cultures add a couple more meatless dishes to their Christmas Eve dinner to make nine or eleven choices.  Russians prepare twelve selections of fish and grains.  In Germany and Austria, Christmas Eve may be spent preparing carp, potatoes, and salads for dinner after sundown.

You’re not a big eater you say?  Then you’ll probably spend today wrapping all the presents you carefully selected and bought with plenty of time to get under the tree before Christmas.  Did you know that, television families with piles of beautifully wrapped presents under their trees weeks before the big day excepted, most holiday wrapping happens on Christmas Eve.  Much of the gifts planned for destinations outside the home if not wrapped sometime on Christmas Eve, usually during cooking breaks, are wrapped the day before and sometimes the day of the planned giving.

If you happen to be reading this in Sweden you aren’t wrapping your gifts today.  You’ll be unwrapping them since the day you exchange Christmas presents is today!  That would be in Sweden and many other countries where the wrapping happened yesterday in anticipation of exchanging them on Christmas Eve.

In Australia where it’s nice and warm today, many people will be out caroling this evening.  While singing they will light candles together hoping for a clear night that their light can join the stars.

And if your wrapping and cooking and eating and singing all get done early and you are still looking for something to do besides more shopping, today would be a good day to thank God for getting us all through another year.

Merry Christmas.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

The Great Annual Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide

Michael 2 Comments

Nine shopping days until Christmas.  Go ahead and count if you like, that’s all that’s left.  Nine days.  Remember, don’t count Christmas Eve as a shopping day, there are just too many other things going on then.  Even if you do count it, that’s not a lot of days left and they almost got by without the Official Annual Real Reality Show Blog Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide.  (Yeah, we missed last year but you can find 2012’s here: “And If You Order Now…” (Dec 17, 2012), and 2011’s here: “Buy The Way…” (Dec. 1, 2011).  If fact, you might want to pull them up as quick references.)

As close as it is to the big day, He’s mailbox has been a virtual dearth of Christmas catalogs.  An honest to gosh absence of some of the biggest names – and prices – of the holiday shopping season.  So scarce are they that it will be almost impossible to top the $500 snow shoes from years gone buy, err, by.  (Ok, so they were only $470.  That was two years ago.  With inflation they have to be $500 by now or they really aren’t from a decent designer.)  True, one can always go on line to find the highest in fashion – and prices – but that’s just not the same as good old fashioned catalog shopping in a good old fashioned recliner preferably while drinking a good old fashion.  So to make up for the lack of the high end “Hammacher Schlemmer” type mailings we will make do with this year’s newspaper insert from “Five Below,” that fabulous outlet where no item is priced more than $5.00.

So let’s start with those snow shoes.  You’ll recall from 2012 that our guide was very high on picking up a family set of these offered in eight designer colors for the low, low price of $470 for the complete ensemble.  Probably not appropriate for outdoors use, Five Below does have Stompeez slippers that “come to life when you walk” at their top of the line price of $5.00, but that is for just one pair.  Outfitting the entire family will set you back a whopping $20.  But, it is Christmas.

A featured item in the 2011 guide was the double barrel marshmallow cannon with dishwasher safe magazines at a very reasonable $39.95.  The current Five Below insert really doesn’t have an equivalent item but it does include a goblet that will hold an entire bottle of wine.  Excess is after all, excess.  And it can be yours for the less than excessive price of again $5.00.

Nothing will ever compare with the $60,000 Optimal Resonance Audiophile Four-Way Three-Dimensional Soundstage Quality Speakers (each requiring its own amplifier, not included) from the 2011 guide.  Imagine where that is priced out today after three years of inflation and obligatory price increases.   We suggested then that if you can afford $60,000 speakers you are encouraged to make a quite generous donation to your local symphony, opera company, musical theater, or other organization requiring pricey speakers and pocket the extra $50,000.  Otherwise, Five Below has you covered here also.  Earbuds, headphones, sound capsules, and even plain old speakers are shown throughout their flyer for your choice at only $5.00 each.  Buddy, can you spare $59,995?

There you go, nine days and one catalog to fill out your “nice list” for this year.  It could be that some of you actually got the high end catalog is your mail boxes this year.  If so, don’t pass it around.  Just keep it to yourself.  It would be a shame if someone got snow shoes again this year.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

And if you order now…

Michael 2 Comments

‘Tis the season for catalog shopping. No, you’re not having déjà vu. That is the way we opened our last blog. But, it really is the season for catalog shopping and today we bring you our long awaited annual holiday gift guide. You’ll recall a few posts ago we teased you with a couple early favorites – the rechargeable illuminated wrenches with stand for $79.95 and the home cellulite smoother kit at $1,500 plus shipping. (See Welcome to Black Cyber Month (Nov. 30, 2012.) Those are intriguing but don’t compare to last year’s pick, the Optimal Resonance Audiophile Four-Way Three-Dimensional Soundstage Quality Speaker at the low, low price of $60,000 for the pair. (See Buy the Way, Dec. 1, 2011.) What will this year’s top catalog pick be?

None of our catalogs has anything close to the $60,000 price tag of that space saving yet concert hall replicating powerful gem of a speaker set. Perhaps retailers feel American shoppers are saving more than spending this year. Or else, since Neither of We ordered anything from them we weren’t graced with the Truly Extravagant line this year. For whatever reason, we have a more modest selection for you this year.

Perhaps you’ve lost your dog for the last time and you aren’t going to run all over the neighborhood trying to track the canine escapist. No need to. Let the satellites track your pooch while you check out the progress at your computer desk. Yes it’s a GPS tracking device for your dog. It’s a collar. It’s a transmitter. It’s water resistant (important for dogs in flight). It’s only $95 with the first three months of tracking service included. Try as we might, we just couldn’t find the regular price for the service after the first three months.

If you want to chase your runaway the old fashioned way but you live in Blizzardville, fear not. Snowshoes are just an order away. What? You can get snowshoes at the local snow shoe emporium, you say. Perhaps so but not in 8 designer colors and in family packs. Get the whole family out looking. A set of 4 for Mom, Dad, and 2 of the 2.3 children start at $470.

Just can’t stay out of touch? How about a watch for him or a bracelet for her that connects via Blue Tooth to your phone and vibrates whenever a call or text message is received. You can check out the display and nobody at your conference table will think you’re distracted by checking on your phone all the time. You may have to explain why you keep checking your watch instead. Starting at $109.99

All these might be terrific gifts for someone on your Nice List. Our favorite though, is the folding electric bicycle. Reaching speeds of up to 14 miles per hour and running for up to 2 hours on a single charge, it’s the perfect way to get away if you don’t want to get away too far. It’s your for only $5,000 plus $300 shipping.

We wonder if it comes assembled.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?