Tag Gadgets

Close Enough, Part 2

Michael Leave a comment

Normally I don’t mind doing anything in the kitchen. I’ll slice, I’ll dice, I’ll juice and zest and shred and grate. I’ll fry or steam, I even make ice cream. But I hate slicing tomatoes. I don’t think it’s the slicing so much as the cleaning up after. I love tomatoes but they can make a mess with their juice and seeds on my cutting board. So a while ago I started using an apple slicer to make perfect tomato pieces for any salad.  Want that tomato diced? Swap out the regular slicing blade for a French fry blade and the battle is half won. That might not be what Mr. Buchi had in mind when he patented his apple slicer in 1923, but I figure it’s close enough.

That’s not the first time I’ve bastardized the intent of a perfectly good kitchen gadget.  I have a smallish kitchen and can fit only so many gizmos so they better be willing to be flexible. Like the hard-boiled egg slicer that also slices mushrooms, artichoke hearts, and strawberries. That’s especially good for me since you found out recently that I am hard-boiled egg challenged yet still have said implement. Then there is the large stir-fry pan which doubles as a wok, triples as a popcorn popper, and quadruples as a braiser. So far the only thing I have come up with for the small stir-fry pan to do other than frying is small batch popcorn popping. But I’m working on it!

There is a frying pan that wins the versatility award.  It’s a 14 inch job that is perfect for combining pastas and sauces, making frittata large enough for the neighborhood, doing paella small enough for the family, and searing the largest roasts.  Its only problem is that it has no lid. Sometimes you need a lid.  Fortunately a pizza pan works just fine to cover this monster.

Closely related to kitchen gadgets, bar accessories can also have split personalities.  Wine stoppers make great cruet toppers (or vice-a-versa depending on which you have and which you need).  And speed pourers also do a dandy job of controlling the flow of your oils and vinegars.

Gadgets are cool. I rarely walk into any department or discount store without checking the gadget wall. A kitchen equipment store is downright dangerous for me to be in. But no matter where I am perusing the latest food prep thingamajigs, it better be able to do more than what the package says if it wants to go home with me.

Now, that’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Just Because You Can

Michael Leave a comment

In our last post we questioned the need for a digital video recorder to record 20 bazillion hours of programming 555 shows at a time.  Ok, perhaps we exaggerate a bit.  Whether 20 bazillion or 2,000, that’s a lot of dreck – umm, hours.  And a tool that can make that happen is a wonder.  As in, we wonder what they were thinking when they cooked that one up.

 “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” 

The “Just Becauses” are many in the world.  Do you recall not long ago the electric belt being peddled on TV.  Oh, they didn’t call it that.  It was called a muscle stimulating ab belt and it was to get your ab muscles exercising whether they wanted to or not.  Zip a jolt of electricity through a muscle and watch it “exercise.”  Right.  And if you believe that we have a backyard sauna box to sell you.

Do you have a lot of hair that needs the special shampoos and conditioners?  We’re not going down that aisle.  We’re going down the one next to it where the hair dryers are.  If you have a lot of hair and you can’t hold your hair dryer for as long as it takes to dry all your hair, you can be the proud owner of a gooseneck stand that will hold any hand held dryer and position it to anywhere around your head.  Now how about a comb with a pivoting head or an extended handle? 

Did you brush your teeth?  As often as you should?  For as long as you should?  Did you know you can buy a singing toothbrush?  Not just for kids.  Adult versions will keep you brushing as long as you should with a different tune every morning, afternoon, evening, and bedtime.  Uh huh.

The kitchen doesn’t want to be left behind in this glorious celebration of “Just Because.”  We know that kitchens are very personal places.  Many of our friends have slicers and dicers, blenders and bowls that we don’t always understand but won’t disparage their right to slice however they like.  But a hot dog slicer?  Marketed to prevent children from choking on hot dogs, this elongated egg slicer takes the place of — well, it takes the place of a knife.  And it comes with a warning to be used only by adults or with adult supervision.  Hmm.

You don’t even have to buy a “Just Because.”  If you have cable or satellite TV and you’re using one of their remote controls, you hold a “Just Because” in your hand every time you change the channel.  Do we really need 53 buttons on that remote?  (See Button, Button, They Have Too Many Buttons, Dec. 3, 2012, in Humor.)  Yes, “Just Becauses” are everywhere.  Outdoor accessories, clothing, storage solutions(?), toys, and tools. 

If you can’t walk through a mega mart or giant home improvement store without stopping in some aisle and asking yourself, “really?” then you too can sport the bumper sticker “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”  And as soon as we finish this post we’re going to see if we can’t get a few hundred thousand of them printed up.  We’re thinking $19.95.  We’ll see you in Aisle 3.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?