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Oh That Jack!

Michael 8 Comments

Not too long ago I was working on prompts for whatever I might want to prompt myself with and whenever I feel promptable. One of them is “Would I rather be a jack of all trades or a master of one.” My daughter say my list and said, “You know that’s not right.” I said, “Yes, but it’s closer that what most people think.”

You’ve probably said it or read it or heard it many times. “A jack of all trades, a master of none,” usually spoken derisively of someone more talented than the speaker. Obviously the speaker’s talents do not include reading. Buried between my prompt and the usual dismissal is the actual quote. Do you know what it is? I’ll let you think about that for a while and then we’ll come back to it.

That prompted us to think about sayings we get wrong, or those we pick or choose only a part of the actual quotation that is far more complex, but we stop short of the complete thought. For example, no, the customer is not always right. Harry Selfridge actually encouraged his employees to not question a customer’s taste, not the customer’s correctness with his whole message, “The customer is always right in the matters of taste.” An interesting side note to Mr. Selfridge. Many, many, many years before he founded the London-based retail empire that bears his name, he was born in Wisconsin and his first experience in selling was delivering newspapers after school (before he dropped out) in Jackson, Michigan. (And yes, I know somebody is going to say, no, that originated in France in the early 1900s about a restauranteur who said “no matter how ill-tempered is the diner, treat him with civility,” which is a completely different thought process.)

We all recognize that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Does heaven have a similar comparison? Why, yes, yes it does. When William Congreve wrote Act III of The Mourning Bride he wrote, “Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.” Personally, I think love turning to hatred is more frightening than a ticked off lady. But then, I guess if she was really a lady, she’d not express her displeasure over much anyway.

One that doesn’t change the meaning at all is the complete quote that gave us ignorance is bliss, but it is so much more poetic. Hmm. Perhaps because it comes from a poem. Thomas Gray wrote in his Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College, “Since sorrow never comes too late ⁠and happiness too swiftly flies? Thought would destroy their Paradise. No more; —where ignorance is bliss, ’tis folly to be wise.”

Would you like me to make you an offer you can’t refuse. If you’re one of the billion or so people who claim to have been at the premiere of the Godfather, or one of the 400 who actually read the book, you would shake in your boots and beg for mercy thinking I intend to cause you bodily harm. It’s possible Mario Puzo remembered that line from the 1934 movie Burn ‘Em Up Barnes, about the owner of an apparently worthless piece of land. But rich oil speculators who know her land is worth more than a small fortune try to convince her to sell, sell, sell! John Drummond (played quite convincingly by Jason Robards’ father, Jason Robards (Sr.)) says, “I’ll make her an offer she can’t refuse,” literally meaning he would offer her so much she would be foolish not to sell the land to him. So you might want to check with whomever is making the offer if they are a vintage cinephile fan or a more modern movie goer.

A most familiar misquote, or incomplete quote, is one of many traced to the Bible. That is the one about money being the root of all evil. Although during the first century of the Common Era money was not as ubiquitous, or as necessary as today, it still was, if you’ll excuse the inherent redundancy, valuable, and used even by those mentioned in the Bible. The full verse in 1 Timothy (6:10) is, “For the love of money is the root of all of evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” Not quite the same thing.

Speaking of not quite the same, let’s get back to jack, as in the jack of all trades. Do you know the full quote? Jack was given to us by the man who may be responsible for more common sayings than either Benjamin Franklin or the Bible. That would be William Shakespeare. Maybe. Some sources attribute it Shakespeare although not from any of his dramatic writings, but from his colloquial pieces. Others attribute it to fellow 16th Century author Robert Greene, speaking about Shakespeare. Still others have it going back to the ancient Greeks probably because you can make an argument that some ancient Greek said almost everything now noteworthy. Anyway, the full quote, which is not an insult is, “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but often times better than a master of one.”

Do you know of any others? Share them in the comments. Even if you aren’t sure of the origin or original meaning, we’ll get to the bottom of it.

Speaking of sayings, do you know the first instance of “Have a good day.” We do, and we even included it in the most recent Uplift, the one where we claim that telling someone to have a good day could be the smartest thing you do today. Have a good day!

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The long and the short of it

Michael 12 Comments

I have noticed that my most recent posts are getting shorter.

And that’s all I have for today. Thank you for reading!

Seriously, these posts have been getting shorter. And believe it or not, that’s by design. Since November 2011 I have published 1,050-some of these and some of them were real monsters, one over 1800 words. The last several posts have seen more modest 400 to 500 word counts.

Why the big change? I don’t know. Maybe I realized I don’t have that much to say, and I don’t need 1,000 words to say not much. Or maybe I realized people don’t have time to devote untold minutes to reading my blog posts. Let’s face it, I am not dispensing indispensable information. Maybe a little smile-inducing, head-scratching, or even thought-provoking. Indispensable, imperative, can’t do without? Nah.

If you make the trip to the Uplift! blog at the ROAMcare site, you might have realized those posts with few exceptions fall in the 500-700 word range. By design. The goal is to produce a piece that can be read in two to three minutes. You might also have noticed they tend to ask more questions than they answer. Again, design. We want you to be able to read them in two or three minutes, but we’d like you to think about them for days on end. And hopefully, in a more thought provoking than head scratching way. You decide what is important for you. Taking the most recent post as an example, you probably didn’t find freshly laid goose eggs in your back yard, but it could get you thinking about what wonders you have recently experienced. (Yes, you have. Take a minute and think about it)

Another reason why I’ve taken pains to keep things brief (and yes, they are pains because I can talk and talk and talk and talk for hours and hours on end and beyond), is advice I once saw from one of the master story tellers of our time, Charles Osgood, and finally decided to give it a whirl. (Young people, you have a computer, look him up.) For forty-six years he presented “The Osgood Files” (“Reports and reflections on humankind”). He described his own style as “Short words, short sentences, short paragraphs,” and went on to say, “There’s nothing that can’t be improved by making it shorter.”

Oh boy, was he right! At least as far as my writing goes. Sometimes I think back when I was teaching and to fil the standard college hour (40-45 minutes). I routinely covered so much that my printed notes would fill pages in a notebook. Today, a 30 minute presentation reduced to writing might fill two printed pages. And be more informative. Not to mention more fun!

Sometimes I think as I write fewer words, I find more things to say. But then I read more of other people’s words, and I find I’m saying just enough. I hope you agree and are happy enough with the words I choose.

Are you still wondering about those goose eggs I mentioned? They really are a wonder. You can read about them at The Egg Hunt. What wonderful things might you find in your world?

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Duh…

Michael 9 Comments

Not much happened last week but of what did, two occasions stand out.  Surely at some time as a child, or to a child, you were told or you said, “You’re old enough that by now know you’d think you should know better than that.” I’ve been saying that a lot lately…to myself. At least twice a week. Like last week.

I can be almost obsessive about putting things where they belong when I come into the house. Hat and coat appropriate to the season on coat tree. Keys in basket on entry table. You get the idea. The proverbial place for everything and everything in a proverb.  Except the day it wasn’t.

Every once in a while, especially if I’m just popping in between errands, I’ll leave my keys in a jacket pocket. And that’s just what I did. On that day, in the morning it was cold, and by early afternoon it was springlike, necessitating a change from a heavier coat to a lighter windbreaker. I ran in, plop the coat onto the tree, put away the groceries I carried in, grabbed the library books I intended to return, pulled the windbreaker off the coat tree, stepped outside and pulled the door shut behind. And then checked to make sure I had my keys. Right.

No problem I’ll hop in the car and stop at my daughter’s house a mere quarter mile away and get her set to my house. Except I didn’t because, yes, that required a key also. It’s only a quarter mile and a walk there and back would be welcome anyway. And at least it wasn’t raining. Until it was.

Last week I spoke at a breakfast meeting. I rarely book anything before noon. (Because, why?) (Except doctor appointments because if you don’t get one of the first appointments of the day they will get backed up and then you are there all day and who cares if you sleep through them. Worst thing that happens is your blood pressure is lower when you’re sleeping.) (Anyway…)

The meeting was nearby and, bonus, it came with breakfast. I knew where I was going. I knew how long it takes to get there. I knew what time I had to be there. Add 30 minutes to the start time (because parking, finding room, networking, caffeinating(!)), double the time it takes to drive (because why not), and I’ll step up to the lectern with my beaming smile and dazzle.

Except I didn’t because getting into the car I managed to snag the side of my pants leg. Rush back inside, change pants, transfer all pocket detritus, check mirror, gag at how poorly it goes with previously chosen sport coat, rummage through closet for more appropriate coat, transfer jacket pocket detritus, check mirror, declare myself presentable, back out to the car.

I lost my cushion time but it’s still only a 15 minute drive and I had my 30 minute early arrival time built in, it would be fine. Until it wasn’t. The 15 minutes delay while I was performing my Superman impression put me on the single lane winding, county road behind a school bus. The first three miles of travel took 20 minutes, with still 7 miles to go assuming no more delays. Like the utility truck up ahead holding traffic back while they cut trees away from the power lines.

To make a long story short (yes, I know, “too late”), I got there with 3 of the 30 early arrival minutes left. I’m not 100% certain but I’m pretty sure the first words I said after being introduced were, “No more morning meetings.” I not 100% certain but I’m pretty sure I said them in my head.

And there you have why last week was not a week I want to repeat any time soon. And that was only 2 days. The others…well, let’s just say I know better than to bring them up.

Do you recycle? Do you know you can recycle yourself? You may be surprised at what you can re-imagine out of the raw material that is you. We were too so we write about it in the latest Uplift!

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Brain Drain

Michael 5 Comments

I cleaned out my refrigerator last week and that reminded me that I haven’t cleaned out my brain in a while.

We might as while start at the refrigerator. Is there anybody else in the world who has as many condiments in their refrigerator as I do? Perhaps not so many condiments as condiment containers. Every time I get having just a little in the bottle, instead of fighting with it to get the last drop or just chucking whatever is left down the drain so I can recycle the container, I use the leftovers to make a sauce or my own condiment. Except I never label anything so weeks later I’m left wondering is that bottle the vinaigrette or plain old mustard, and which ketchup bottle is really barbecue sauce. This is why I now have a Sharpee tied to the refrigerator door! Someday I’ll remember to use it.

That just reminded me, sometime last summer, during picnic season when condiments are often on sale, over on the ROAMcare site, we posted, “Life is Like Condiments,” which was a really fun post to write. This isn’t a part of my brain dump but it popped into my head so I thought I’d pop it into yours. You should pop over and read it.

Also last week, my furnace stopped furnacing (which, by the way, spellcheck accepts as a real word – who knew?). Perhaps that’s why I decided to clean the refrigerator. I was already cold, why not go all in! Fortunately last week was full of spring like weather and it was only a day waiting on the part, so I simply supplemented what heat the house held on to with a trusty space heater during the evening hours when the sun stopped streaming through the windows. I’ll often have a space heater running under my desk to keep the toes warm and think nothing of it, but last week I worried greatly for those 3 or 4 hours, what this will do to my electric bill. For some reason, my mind flashed on an old standup bit from the 80s. I can’t recall who the comedian was, someone who often included his family into his routines, like Ray Romano or Jeff Foxworthy. The bit was about leaving the doors open in the summer and air-conditioning the whole neighborhood. “I went out and saw those dials spinning on the meter like a roulette wheel. Somebody please turn something off!!” he shouted, and it just cracked me up. The random things that randomly pop into my head.

Sometime after we crossed into February I noticed the gym is not as crowded as it was in January. Did everyone’s resolutions reach their expiration dates???

Also last week (a lot happened last week), a friend of mine asked if I decided where I will be going on vacation this year. On the surface it seems a reasonable question, except that it came out sounding as though I go somewhere every year. Perhaps once upon a time I would have made an annual trek to somewhere from home, but for the last dozen or so years, there are more that I have gone nowhere than anywhere, and when I had, it often was without planning. I would decide I want to go somewhere, find a good fare to transport me and a decent hotel to lodge me and off I’d go. Naturally though, now that she planted the seed, I felt the need to water it, so my browser history is now filled with vacation spots near and far. And I just know I’ll end up on my patio all summer.

Well, my brain feels much lighter now. Thank you for your patience!

Not always are life’s lessons found in expected settings. Sometimes we discover more behavior we would do well to imitate in unusual learning places. We write about two of these and turning our actions into life assets in this week’s Uplift, Actions Matter.

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I’m so bored

Michael 11 Comments

Yesterday, at our weekly Dad and Daughter get together, Daughter mentioned to Dad, “The problem with kids today is they don’t appreciate boredom. They don’t know how creative that time can be. I used to stand in the line at the grocery store waiting for you to check out reading the headlines on the magazines thinking I can write a better line than that.”

Wise words from a 30-something, and yes, she did end up writing better lines than those come-on headlines, now running her own copywriting business. And it all started because when she was parked in the seat of a shopping cart during the weekly grocery runs instead of staying home with her child’s-app-loaded iPad in heavy duty protective case. It was after she dropped her adult appreciated iPad that she spouted this wisdom, noting the colorful protective covers sold to minimize damage to the children’s themed tablets would certainly have inflicted more damage than a mere week’s long bruise that her lightly protected covered unit inflicted upon her toe. And thus, we were off on to an hour’s long discussion of the things your mind can do when it seemingly is doing nothing, and of which we are robbed because parents would rather perpetually occupy their children’s time with electronic babysitters rather than risk answering a question like, “What’s that word?” several times while waiting to unload their haul onto the conveyor belt for the cashier to total the bounty.

We decided that although creatives intentionally turn their brains on when they write, or paint, or film, the ideas that lead to those compositions are often born from idleness. Filling up every moment of a mind’s time is actually a great way to suppress moments of mental creativity and might have led to the loss of some of the world’s greatest creative works.

When are you at your creative best? Something to think about the next time your child or grandchild or strange child looks to you and asks, “What’s that?” and how you choose to answer.

Valentine’s Day was celebrated by lovers around the world last week. We celebrate love for everyone everyday. Read about why we say All We Need is Love in the latest Uplift!

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Valentine, Oh Valentine, where did you come from

Michael 10 Comments

I had no intention of writing about Valentine, neither Saint nor Day. To tell the truth, my intention was to write about how now that January is behind us, the gym has gotten so less crowded. But a few days ago, I was researching material for an upcoming presentation (itself having nothing to do with Valentine (neither Saint nor Day)), when I ran across something I wrote for this blog in 2013, about Valentine, the Saints. Yes, plural. I said to myself, maybe it’s a sign and I should bring that post back. Val hasn’t changed much in the last eleven years. Oh, but I have. I still liked the idea of bringing him back, so with a fair amount of editing to keep those who might have read it back in an earlier decade from getting bored, here is my Valen-tale.

When you sit across the table from your one and only later this week, you will certainly flash to Saint Valentine, considering it may be Valentine’s Day, and you may, just for a moment, ask yourself, who is this Valentine guy who made greeting card companies, florists, jewelers, and restaurants so much money over the years. You may even ask your one and only what he or she or it or they know about him, assuming that Valentine himself is a one and only. Oh, how wrong you are!

The most common story is that of Valentine, a priest and martyr of third century Rome during the reign of Claudius II, also known as Claudius the Cruel.  He believed that his army was not giving its all because the men were more attached to their wives and families than to their emperor. (Oh, the horror of it all!) To solve that, he banned marriages.  No marriages, no families, strong fighting men. He should have been also known as Claudius the Stupid because as we knew even in the 200s, no marriages and no families eventually leads to no subjects and no empire, and thus no need for an emperor.

Claudius didn’t get a chance to think that far ahead because Valentine continued to perform marriage ceremonies, ban or no ban. Well, old Claude finally caught on to old Val and Valentine was imprisoned and ordered to be executed.  While in prison, Valentine became enamored with the daughter of his jailer and legend goes on to say that on his last day in prison, he wrote her a farewell letter and signed it, “With Love, Your Valentine.”

I like that story.  It has a love interest, a creepy villain, a secret plot twist (priests aren’t supposed to fall in love with women, even in the late 200’s), and a story that would have made a nifty second bill on a Saturday double feature down at the local movie house. And for a little dark side to it, it is St. Valentine’s day of execution, February 14, that we celebrate.

But there are other stories.

There are other stories because there were other Valentines, other Valentines who were priests, and other Valentines who were martyred and became saints. (There was even a Pope Valentine.  He served for only 40 days in 827.)  In all, there are twelve St. Valentines, the most recent, St. Valentine Berrio-Ochoa, a Spaniard who served as bishop in Vietnam until his beheading in 1861, was elevated to sainthood by John Paul II in 1988.

Twelve Valentines, twelve months? Hmm… enough for a Valentine’s Day every month of the year. Hopeless romantic that I am, I am really considering distributing a petition for just so many holidays. But then, that would be twelve times a year instead of just one that rather than celebrating with my one and only, I’d been an one only celebrating alone. [sigh]

I hope you learned something new about love’s favorite holiday. Learning is good. Learning whets your appetite for life! Did you know it also can extend your life? Read how we came to that conclusion in the latest Uplift! Hungry for Learning.

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Newing and Improving

Michael 15 Comments

“New, easier to open!” the package fairly screamed at me, daring me to not be able to open it. Lies!! Lies I tell you! It could have been the breakfast sausage but for that it took me until lunch time to open the ridiculously hermetically sealed “for your safety and for the sake of your waist” packaging. Okay, so that might have been a bit hyperbolic, but it certainly put me off my feed. What was wrong with the old packaging that a slice of the knife turned the innards into outards and breakfast was but a brown and serve away?

Why even the United States Department of Agriculture has gotten into newing and improving. They’ve improved the classic food pyramid right into non-existence. Remember the old “4 basic food groups” (burger, fries, shake, hot apple pie)? Nope, now there are 5 of them. Where did they find a new food group? (Beer?) And now that I’m thinking about it, whatever happened to those luscious, hot as lava apple pies that made the trip to McDonald’s different than to any other fast-food emporium? It’s been over 30 years since they switched from frying to baking, but try to find even a baked version. They are as rare as McRib sandwiches.

To be honest, I’m not sure there is much that was newly introduced in the last 30 years that actually made much improvement. Minicomputers we all walk around with, mistakingly calling them phones? Maybe more convenient than the corded phone hanging off the kitchen wall but we we’re doing fine keeping in touch with each other even in the dark ages of the 1990s.

There are some truly remarkable and truly new things that have come along in my lifetime. Real computers that made intricate calculations and deep data dives things of everyday life. Vaccines that prevented some of the most deadly and debilitating diseases (anyone know anybody who has polio?), medicines that cured or managed the ones we couldn’t prevent (hypertension and diabetes to name a couple), and surgical procedures for the most difficult conditions (who doesn’t know someone who is still living because of a coronary bypass or an organ transplant?). The microwave oven that almost no kitchen of the 21st century is without. Hybrid cars that make the most of the resources we currently have available, and for that matter, automatic transmissions so more people can drive them. Battery powered smoke detectors have saved countless lives and might have saved more if everybody remembered to replace those pesky old and unimproved batteries once a year.

I am sure you can think of more than a handful of things you did not have when you were a kid that is now making your kids’ lives easier. But how many are making them better? Yes, some, but no, not all. Too many “new” aren’t and “improved” don’t. Maybe it’s time we spent some time making the most and the best of what we already have, appreciate the truly new when it comes around, and work on improving our connections with those around us.

And if any of you are in the business that’s responsible for food packaging, stop trying to improve it. You’re messing with my breakfast!

January was a cold one, colder than many and in places where it usually isn’t. The cold took a friend and taught us the value of loyalty and closeness where you’d least expected it. Read how nature taught us about life in the midst of loss in the latest Uplift!

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Ahoy Matey!

Michael 10 Comments

Okay, first things first. Do people really say that? Ever said that? It seemed an appropriate title because this post is about sailing, although sailing is a poor choice of verbs because the boats I am talking about don’t sail. I was on a sailboat once, in the Gulf of Mexico off the Florida coast and it was fun, lots of fun. But even that boat had a motor. I suppose if the winds died, those who paid for the privilege of pretending to be Blackbeard, or Bluebeard, wouldn’t die along with them. I don’t remember if I ever wrote a post for this blog about that experience. That’s the closest, and I’m sure the only time I will be even that close, to a real sailboat. And I dare say, will most everybody I know who has ever gone “sailing.”

But I digress. Let us talk about sailing, and the boats that do, even though they don’t. I have been on only a handful of boats: a 35 foot fishing boat in Lake Erie a few times, always to do battle with the walleye. I’ve been on the sightseeing cruise ships that ply the rivers around my town and a few others, although “cruise” seems as inapt a verb when talking about these vessels as “sail” does when we (eventually) get to the big boats I mean to talk about, which to be honest, really isn’t the real subject of this post but it makes a nice vehicle, or vessel. And then of course there have been the odd human powered boats including, row, outboard motor, canoe, and paddle. Oh and twice on the boating equivalent of public transportation to get from mainland to nearby island (ferry boat?). I guess that actually is four times because I got back each time also.

Now then, about that sailing I had started with, the one that isn’t actually sailing although they always say sail, which is I suppose more attractive sounding that telling someone, “I went dieseling last week,” when you return from a cruise. And now we got to the crux of the matter, or of the vessel. Those big cruise ships. I have never been on a “cruise” (unless you want to call any or all of those other boats cruising which only seems fair since the big cruise boats seem to insist that they sail) and although I honestly don’t believe I have missed anything, I now find myself considering one but a very specific and particular one.

You should have read enough of these posts to know I am close to fanatical when it comes to old movies, as in older than me, which means movies from the 30s, 40s, and some of the 50s. The definitive stops for old movie buffs for routine viewing are television’s Turner Classic Movies (TCM) and The Criterion Channel. Of those, TCM also sweetens the cinephile’s pot with an annual film festival and – drum roll please – a cruise. The cruise alternates coasts and this year it “sails” from Florida. Not in my backyard but at least on the same side of the country.

I have never considered splurging on a TCM festival either on land or on sea, and I started thinking, I should go ahead and splurge on a vacation I would truly enjoy (because if there are old movies involved I will enjoy it) and on something I’ve never done (which is sailing on a diesel powered floating hotel). You know, I’d not be so reticent about big cruise ships if they weren’t so big. What ever happened to the Love Boat? So I thought I should consider it, fear of floating hotels notwithstanding.

Well let me tell you something! I always thought I was one of sufficient means. To paraphrase the dialogue of what I consider to be world’s greatest movie, Casablanca, when Rick tells Sam that Ferrari would pay him twice as much if he were to work for him, I don’t have enough time to spend the money I do have. Then I got a look at what it costs to watch a couple old movies while bopping along the Caribbean Sea and/or Atlantic Ocean. It doesn’t sail until October and already the luxury and not quite that fancy cabins and suites are sold out. The only space left are mostly interior cabins and a few small mid-ship ocean views and they are going at better than 5 grand a cabin! Do you know how many movies I can see at the local theater showing classic films for $5,000? About 500 – with popcorn!

Not to be all Scrooge-like about it, I could still be talked into considering it. If anybody out there would like to “sail” the Caribbean and/or Atlantic and watch some old movies, presumably in swim and vacation wear (I’ll bring my tux for dinner just in case), please let me know in the comments. We can discuss financing.

Can an egoist be redirected to a more sharing and caring lifestyle? We say yes, you, and they can be someone’s sunshine. Read how in the latest Uplift, Out of the Shadow.

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Fit to be untied

Michael 14 Comments

It’s been a year and 2 months, roughly 14 months, almost exactly 1 year, 2 months, and 2 days depending on if you consider the day that you start counting day 1 or day 0. No matter which way you want to count it, it’s been a while since I brought this up here. Why does one shoelace always come untied while you’re walking? Or sometimes even just sitting. Of course, if that happens while you are sitting, I suppose it really matters on how actively you sit that could determine just how often “sometimes” might be. Or is it just me?

Surely you remember the quandary I expressed those 429 days ago (or 428). If not, allow me to summarize. Both feet are going the same place and at the same pace. Both shoes and both laces are made of the same materials. The temperature and humidity at my left foot are pert near identical to those at my right. All things being equal, why aren’t the laces? Why does one shoelace always untie itself? And in my case, it’s always the left shoe. With one exception.

This might be why I started thinking about this all over again. That one exception is with my newest pair of footwear, which actually are slippers. (Is slippers?) (Hmm) Yeah, yeah, go ahead and question it. Why do slippers even have laces? In the world of are you a “shoe person” or a “socks or barefoot person” at home. (Bare feet?) (Bare foot?) (No, barefoot but definitely with no space.) (Whew!) And yes, feel free to question that also, although I can assure you that a detailed examination of this hypothesis revealed that the vast majority (over 50% at least) of those questioned answered one or the other. (Now where was I?) (Oh yes…) In the world of are you a “shoe person” or a “socks or barefoot person” at home, I fall squarely in the center. (Middle?) (Center?) I fall right in between. I am a “slipper person.” (Or “slippers person” if you prefer.)

I have several pairs of slippers. (several pair?) (Whatever!) I have my “nighttime walk around the house when I can’t sleep slippers.” I have my “to and from the shower so I don’t get the carpet all wet slippers.” And now I have my “wear during the day at home but look more like casual shoes but are actually slippers for a little more formal look slippers.” (I see where this post is starting to get a little personal but at least I can say I don’t have any “these are really too racy to discuss in public slippers” so you can be comfortable sticking around for the rest of the story if there are children (or not) about (or around).) And that’s how I came to have slippers with laces. Faux laces because they really don’t do anything but sit there and look lacy. (Not that kind of lacy. I said this post wasn’t racy and if it was racy lacy I wouldn’t have even brought it up.) And those are the exception. If you’ve forgotten what they are the exception to, please feel free to go back and re-read the first, no second paragraph. (I did.)

So among the shoes with laces that untie the left foot (left shoe?) (left foot shoe?) themselves… So among the shoes with laces that all by themselves untie the shoe that goes on the left foot, there is one exception, those slippers, and they untie both left and right foot. (Feet?) It totally defeats the purpose of getting slippers that look like shoes (sort of) when you end up walking around with your slippers (that look like shoes) untied. Like how is that formal? The only thing I can think of that looks less formal is walking around in a tuxedo with your left shoelace untied. (And those little waxed laces they put on shoes they expect you to wear with your tux are the worst! (worse?) (worst!)) (Hahaha. I just thought of something funny. There really are places that expect you in formal wear that let me in! Sometimes even by invitation!!) (Heeheehee)

Anyway, If anybody has any hints as to how you keep your shoelaces from untying themselves, please feel free to comment.

Prior performance may not guarantee future results, but present desire can! Read how we feel determination should be your go to asset in the most recent Uplift!

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Leaping into the New Year

Michael 5 Comments

Last week I moderated a program on of all things, leap year. I didn’t know much about leap year, other than one comes around every 4 years, mostly, and this year is one.  So, I made it my business to learn what I could about this quadrennial event, and now that I have all this knowledge floating around in my head, you’re going to learn what I could too!

To start, do you know that leap year does not happen every 4 years. Unless you are over 124 years old you would not have ever experienced a 4 year cycle without a leap year.  That is because the leap year of 2000 was the exception, not the rule. Although we began leaping years in 46 BCE, it wasn’t until the 16th century that we started leaping them with the rules we now know.  (And if you ask me, but neither Caesar, nor Pope Gregory did, leap year is a misnomer. We aren’t leaping anything, we are adding. Thus the more technical “intercalary year” is also to more accurate description of what we do every 4 years, but also harder to say.) Now, if we add what amounts to 1/4 day a year, over 100 years, we’d be gaining time compared to our actual solar orbit, negating what we have been trying to correct. So the plan was that every 100 years, on the “century year” (1700, 1800, 1900) we would skip the traditional addition to February. But then, “they” figured out we’d be back to losing time if we did that all the time, so every century year that is evenly divisible by 400 (like 2000) gets its February 29.

Not everything I learned about leap years was that dry. There were some truly fun facts too. For example, we might actually know somebody whose birthday is February 29. Before we started making February 29 the extra day, local customs could add a day anywhere in the last 5 days of February, and it would keep the same date! Imagine how confused those people were, but at least they got to celebrate a birthday every year.

We’ve most all have heard of Sadie Hawkins, Al Capp’s cartoon unmarried, 35 year old “old maid.” To make a long story short, Sadie, with the encouragement of her father, set out to literally chase and catch an eligible bachelor. This morphed into the Sadie’s Hawkins days and Sadie Hawkins dances when the women asked the men on dates or to dance. Sadie Hawkins Day has nothing to do with leap year and in fact, began sometime in October 1937, decidedly not a leap year. But did Mr. Capp perhaps get his inspiration from Queen Margaret of Scotland (1503-1513). Legend has it that she enacted a law setting fines for men who turned down marriage proposals from women during a leap year. Because February 29 wasn’t recognized by English law; if the day had no legal status, it was OK to break with convention and a woman could propose. I wonder if Margaret was the inspiration for these Scandinavian leap year customs. In Denmark, a man refusing a woman’s proposal must give her a dozen pairs of gloves, and in Sweden, a gentleman refusing a woman’s proposal must gift her with enough fabric to make a skirt.

A last couple fun and still historical facts. Before Leap Years were inserted into the calendar, all months in the ancient Roman calendar had either 29 or 31 days specifically because they felt even numbers are bad luck (Julius Caesar probably would have argued that point on March 16 had he been given that chance). All this talk about Leap Year is only valid for the Gregorian calendar. Leap Day is a phenomenon specific to solar calendars like the Gregorian Calendar we are most familiar with. Other calendars approach the earth’s inconsistent orbit around the sun differently. Lunar calendars like that used to determine the Asian Spring Festival insert a leap month 7 times every 19 years, not always in the same place, and taking the same name as the previous month. By coincidence, the Chinese lunar calendar leap year is occurring this year and will be placed in what the Gregorian calendar calls February. So, if I have it right, this year, there will be two months of Zhengyue in this Year of the Dragon. I think. Maybe. I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure out what the Romans had again even numbers.

Have you broken your resolutions yet? Personal improvement is not a one-time activity. Anytime can be a great time to embrace improvement. We talk about that in the latest Uplift, “New Year Not Required.”

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