On being loved into being

I was working in adapting a post I wrote for my foundation site for here because, well, because I think it’s really good and would make a great lead up to Thanksgiving blog post. I thought after what we as country just went through having to experience the childishness that accompanied s years general election, that a word from someone who worked so successfully with children is just what the doctor ordered. So I ordered it.

And then Colorado Springs happened. You’ve heard of that incident. Five dead. Nineteen wounded. One nut case up with a f-ing assault rifle destroys the dreams of 24 People because he has a “right” to carry an assault weapon into a crowd and start firing. Of course you know that same day in Philadelphia, Mississippi nut case or nut cases unknown shot seven people, killing one, over a dice game.

If you’re keeping score, those are mass shootings #26 and 27 in the US for the month of November. Not the year – for November’s, which still has 10 days to go. One of them is Thanksgiving. Are you still thankful we have the “right” to carry guns at will? Maybe this will help. How are 602 mass shootings for this year.

It’s time to stop this madness.

The  post that  I was going to rework, you can read it here. And actually if I were you I would. It’s a whole lot happier and more positive than this dreck.

The theme running through that post is based in an idea voiced by Fred Rogers in his acceptance speech for the Lifetime Achievement Award, bestowed to him at the 24th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards in 1997, “All of us have special ones who loved us into being.” What a wonderful way of thinking of how we have become who we are, that there are people who have loved us into being. Gratitude is not, and should not, be an exercise is saying thanks for what we have, for in truth we will not always have. We should be expressing thanks because we are, because even when we do not have, we always will be.

Maybe the nut cases of the world didn’t have anybody to love them into being. We did. Be grateful. Be grateful you have people who have loved you into being. Say thank you to them, because without them, you are not the who you are.

Seriously, do yourself a favor, go read it. It will take you less time to read than you’ve spent reading this junk that I’ve written here.  Go find out about this idea of being loved into being. And then go out and love somebody that much.

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Used with permission

Kindness Is Not an Option

 

Two big things happened in my general part of the country this past weekend. Pennsylvania celebrated 143 Day for the entire weekend and the city of Toledo, Ohio renamed its airport The Eugene F. Kranz Toledo Express Airport. Gene Kranz was the director of NASA mission operations, noted for the modern mantra, failure is not an option, and 143 Day was inspired by America’s favorite neighbor, Fred Rogers. Naturally these two belong in the same discussion. Don’t they?


MrRogers_ImagineWhatOurIf I had to make a list of the Top Ten People to Ever Walk the Face of the Earth, Pittsburgh native Fred Rogers would be high on that list. He lived for kindness and his type of kindness is returning to vogue, especially now that the generation that mocked him, his quiet, unassuming manner, and his gentleness to everybody, is now having grandkids and their favorite expression is “why can’t you be nicer?” Mr. Rogers didn’t love everybody regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, or gender identity. Mr. Roger loved everybody. Period. His mantra, “I like you just the way you are,” ended every one of his 912 shows. “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you, just the way you are.”

If I had to make a list of the Top Ten People to Ever Walk the Face of the Earth, Toledo native Gene Kranz would be high on that list. As the division chief for the Apollo missions, Gene Kranz was in the midst of it all at the time of NASA’s Apollo 1 disaster that took the lives of Astronauts Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger Chafee. He told his assembled team during the aftermath while several investigations were ongoing, that although he had no knowledge then of what the investigations would determine to be the cause, “…I know what I find. We are the cause! We were not ready! We did not do our job.” He further went on to say that from then on, “Flight Control would be known by two words, Tough and Competent.” To him, tough equaled accountable, and competent meant to be never short on knowledge and skill.

Fred Rogers used 1-4-3, his favorite number, as his special code for “I Love You” based on the number of letters in each word. He once said, “Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person.” Putting those two together, 143 and offering a kind word to somebody, the Pennsylvania Department of Community and Economic Development in 2019 established 143rd day of the year (May 23 most years) as ‘143 Day In PA,’ and even created a tracker on their website asking people to report when they did something nice for someone.

genekranzGene Kranz was the Flight Director for Apollo 11 and Apollo 13. Apollo 11 is known for its success, landing two men on the moon and meeting President John Kennedy’s 1962 challenge to reach the moon before the end of decade. Apollo 13 is known for its inflight disaster, potentially losing another full Apollo crew, when faulty wiring caused a spark and explosion that caused the spacecraft to lose its oxygen supply. Rather than a moon mission it became a survival mission, racing the clock to return the astronauts to earth before their oxygen ran out. Those who read the book or saw the movie know the Flight Control team took accountability for the disaster and used their knowledge and skill to bring the flight crew safely home.

Time magazine recently published an article suggesting 143 Day should become a national holiday. In the article they quoted from a Pew Research Center study and reported, “nearly 90 percent of Americans think it’s possible to improve our confidence in one another. Their prescription, it turns out, is a simple one: neighborliness.” One of those polled in the study was quoted, “Get to know your local community. Take small steps towards improving daily life, even if it’s just a trash pick-up.” The magazine’s recommendation to make it a recognized national holiday rather than an informal day of remembrance would make a dedicated date as a permanent reminder for kindness, “even if just for one day.” They conclude the article with the thought that a national 143 Day can be, “A day not to accept every neighbor’s views, or to abandon accountability, or to sacrifice justice at the altar of being kind, but instead to do the most difficult work there is: loving thy neighbor exactly as they are.”

After the Apollo 1 fire and his meeting with the Flight Control team, Gene Kranz instructed his team to write on their office blackboards, “Tough” and “Competent” and to never erase them. “They are the price of admission to Mission Control,” he said. Tough and Competent may have been reserved for his inner team but the outside world may more readily remember another statement by Gene Kranz. Failure is not an option. As is so common of these things, even though Mr. Kranz used the phrase for his autobiography, he did not originate the phrase. It was coined by a screenwriter working on the “Apollo 13” movie project. He did live the phrase however, and his life and work epitomizes true leadership: dedication to excellence beyond self.


Fred Rogers may never be remembered with a national celebration of 143 Day and Gene Kranz may never have another airport dedicated to him, but both men have otherwise long resumes of competence, compassion, accountability, and kindness. Failure is not an option. Neither should be kindness. That should be a the natural course!

Kindness tough-competent

Continuing with my experiment on the WordPress/Anchor partnership, Don’t Believe Everything You Think is available on these platforms. 

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Please let me know what you think. So far I’m still mostly just recording the blog posts but eventually there will be more than that. We might even get into a discussion about how we all got into blogging. 

This post will begin to be available on these platforms later today.

Do Unto Others…Proudly

Oh the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Simplified, love your neighbor as yourself. I love me unconditionally, or as Fred Rogers would be happy to hear, just the way I am. I don’t always like me but I do love me. Mr. Rogers would like it if I liked me just the way I am but if I want to be golden about it, at least I am hitting the loving requirement. And by extension, I love you also.

Clearly a lot of people in the world don’t love each other, but lately there have been a lot of people ignoring Mr. Rogers exhortation to even “like you just the way you are.” Not only that but people are taking exception with anybody who doesn’t even think like they do. Forget “like you just the way you are,” the world is taking the stance “it’s my way or the highway” and telling others to hit the road.

We are getting deep into Gay Pride Month and I have a story you can use to improve your Gay, Race, Ability, Origin, or Any Other Variable score. Fans of Mr. Rogers know he had a variety of residents of and visitors to his Neighborhood. Some of these even non-viewers recognize like Mr. McFeely, King Friday XIII, and Daniel Tiger. Others are not so universally recognized like Handyman Negri, Chef Brocket, and Officer Clemmons.

Francois Clemmons was a gay, black man in 1969. Neither was a popular modifier in 1960s America. But only one was evident. Regardless of his sexual orientation, Officer Clemmons was obviously African American. In an early episode in 1969, Mr. Rogers and Officer Clemmons meet outside in the summer heat and sit together, cooling their feet in a child’s plastic wading pool. A black man and white man in the same pool were almost unheard of in 1969. Yet together they sat. In his final appearance on the show 24 years later, Mr. Rogers and Officer Clemmons cooled their feet in the pool again. It wasn’t as unusual by 1993. The physical difference had become the non-issue for many besides Fred Rogers.

That Francois Clemmons was gay never made the airwaves. Neither did his religion, political party affiliation, or college alma mater. These were differences that didn’t matter. Mr. Rogers liked Officer Clemmons, and Fred liked Francois, just the way he was. He also never mentioned that Officer Clemmons was of a different race. Had it not been visibly noticeable, nobody would have thought it was odd that they shared a moment with their feet in the pool together by the way Mr. Rogers treated and spoke with Officer Clemmons. They would have been just two friends who liked each other. Just the way they were.

We have a hard enough time accepting people who look different to us. Do we really have to add to the difficulties by going out of our ways to find differences to dislike that we can’t even see?

This month, and next, and the one after that, when you run across somebody who you might think is a little different than you are, instead of going out of your way to tell him or her to hit the road, go out of your way and say, “Hi Neighbor. I like you just the way you are.”

To hear Francois Clemmons talk about his experience in the Neighborhood, click here.

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Photo John Beale (Pittsburgh City Paper)

Happy No Not That

Today is Presidents Day in the United States. Actually it isn’t. It’s Washington’s Birthday but nobody calls it that anymore and I won’t dwell on that here because I already dwelled on it here. Regardless of what you want to call it I’m not going to talk about it here and not because I have an issue with the weirdo in office now. I have issues with all the weirdos who’ve been there except maybe Washington but I already took issue with those issues here.

No today is more important, more universal, more significant than presidents. Lots of countries have presidents. And why do we feel we have to “honor” these career politicians anyway? Do other countries with presidents have a special day set aside to remember the contributions of everybody who ever was crazy enough to take a job no sane person would want?

What about the countries without presidents? Are there King Days in monarchies? Are there Premier Days in oligarchies? Do puppet governments have Dictator Day? What about the countries with where the seat of government is more sofa-like with say a president and a prime minister? Who gets the day? Does each get a day? Maybe 12 hour shifts on the same day?

I’m sorry but there are just too many issues with Presidents Day. Leave it at Washington’s Birthday about the rest of them. You guys in other countries are on your own. Now to be truly universal, seriously inclusive, honestly honorable, let’s celebrate the day that everybody can get behind. Come on and join me in celebrating…..

Happy Fiftieth Anniversary to Mister Rogers Neighborhood!

Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.   -Fred Rogers

Although Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was first broadcast by what would become PBS on February 19, 1968, Fred Rogers first hit the airwaves from Toronto with his Children’s Corner in 1961. His gentle manner and strong devotion have done more for America than all of the presidents we’ve elected since then. We would have done well to more often hold him as one to emulate rather than ridicule. They say in America anybody can grow up to become President. But only one American ever grew up to become Mr. Rogers. While you are celebrating your extra day off take a moment to ask yourself who you have been more like as a role model for your children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. And knowing what you know now, who you would have more wanted as yours.

I could have written an entire post celebrating Mr. Rogers but there isn’t enough space available to me to say all the good things about this remarkable man. Our world is better because of his Neighborhood. Now if we could only get our country to follow suit.

Misterogers

Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Speak for Yourself

America’s Got Talent wrapped up its most recent season last night. I hadn’t seen any of America’s Got Talent. Had I known there was a ventriloquist on I might have watched. I suppose I could say the same thing for the last every one of that show since there seems to always be a ventriloquist at least starting out on it. And with good reason. Ventriloquists are good entertainment. Puppeteering in general is good stuff. At least it was for my generation. If you missed out on watching professionals play with puppets, you missed out on a lot. Really. I’m serious. Really. Again.

ShariLewisLet’s look at some of the ventriloquists I grew up with. Shari Lewis was the first ventriloquist I have any memory of. Shari hit the national stage with Captain Kangaroo in 1956 which was when I was hitting the stage for the first time also. Granted, my stage was in home movies but hey, all the world’s a stage, right? I loved Shari Lewis as a child (when I was a child, not her) (maybe I would have loved her as a child too, I dunno) (her as a child, not me) (maybe both of us as a child) (children). Shari played on stage with Lamb Chop, Hush Puppy, Charlie Horse, and Wing Ding. She and her puppets might have been more popular than even I realized because now that I think about it, I recall my own daughter playing with a Lamb Chop puppet when she was a baby 30 years after I put my puppets into cold storage. And I seem to also recall that her Lamb Chop was new.

When we hit the new century, ventriloquists were still hitting the stage but none hit it as hard as Jeff Dunham. Dunham and his crew say what we all have wanted to say but were afraid it would end up on Facebook the next day with 450,000 comments about how rude and undiverse we are being. (You’ve made up words too!) I like Jeff Dunham but I’d probably like Jeff Dunham even without the dummies. (Is it undiverse to call them that? Perhaps they should be life-challenged?)

Ventriloquists weren’t the only puppeteers that shaped a generation. In a modern take to the marionette, Jim Henson created a neighborhood full of puppets that began with Kermit in 1955. By the early 1960s he (Jim, not Kermit, although I suppose you could say they) met up with puppeteer Frank Oz and writer Jerry Juhl and the Muppets were off and running.

MrRogersHand puppets, though the least techy of puppets (although exactly what Lamb Chop and friends were) had the biggest impact on me as a developing mental genius. (It’s my blog, I can call myself whatever I want.) In particular, King Friday XIII, Queen Sara Saturday, and X the Owl, the puppets of the Neighborhood of Make Believe in Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. Fred Rogers was a force in puppeteering and all things educational for children. From his earliest days with the Canadian Broadcast Company’s “Children’s Corner” he introduced children to his own childhood make believe characters. But it was in 1966 from WQED in Pittsburgh, the nation’s first public-owned broadcast company, that Mr. Rogers, his puppets, and his live neighbors swept a nation, and a generation.

So maybe the next time someone accuses you of just being a puppet, you might take solace in that you’re in some pretty good company and prepare yourself to mold the mind of some future mental genius.