Tag Football

Fourth (million) and ten

Michael 2 Comments

I can’t help it. It’s been too long. I am going there. I have to do it. It’s time to fuel the fire. So let’s open the controversy right now. I don’t like football.

There, I said it. I don’t like football.

I don’t see the point. There’s no real skill involved, no sort of strategy, and it’s so boring! They budget 3-1/2 hours of TV time to play a 60 minute game, that has a total of maybe 8-10 minutes of action. Bowling has more action. Even golf has more action and I think that’s a waste masquerading as sport also.

But boy people go nuts for that “game.” Billions of dollars change hands every year because of it. According the BetMGM the average team salary of just the players is over $188 million. The minimum salary per player for 2022 is $705,000.  Let than sink in. Everybody out there who will make that much this year, please raise your hand. Anybody? No? Okay, how about this.  That $705,000 is $45,000 more than last year’s minimum salary. Who out there got a $45,000 raise this year for being the lowest paid employee? Hmm. How about, how many of you make $45,000 a year. Ah, finally, I see some hands.  NFL practice squad players earn a minimum of $11,500 per week, which comes to $207,000 for 18 weeks of work. These are the guys the teams use to play act as the opposing team during practices and possibly develop into “full time” team members. Think of them as football interns.

Of course, players aren’t the only ones on the field during a game. Also roaming around between the goal posts are the 8 referees officiating each game (technically 1 referee, 1 umpire, 5 judges and 1 replay official). They make an average of $205,000 per year. And we won’t even talk about the coaches. (But the lowest paid NFL head coach will make $3 million, but I don’t want to talk about it.)   

Enough about what people make playing the game. What about what people make playing on the game. ESPN estimates over 45.5 million people will bet more than $12 billion this year. The teams will split about $270 million of that.

And then there are some people who actually go to the games. They will spend about $10 million for tickets which represent only 1.25% of a team’s revenue. Three billion dollars will be spent on NFL merchandise, 2/3 of that on jerseys. It seems you aren’t allowed into a stadium without wearing a replica jersey. In case the team needs an emergency fill in? 

You might think I am bitter about how much money is generated by a group of people who were not finalists in their high schools “most likely to succeed” voting nor had to worry about which way to flip their mortarboard tassels. (If you understood that reference you probably aren’t an NFL football player.) No, I just can’t figure out how football became the American National Religion. Twenty-two men squat across from each other over a not round ball, officially a “prolate spheroid” (seriously – look it up), and after a series of grunts, they hurl themselves into each other with much banging and clanging of protective equipment. After everyone falls down, they pick themselves up, congratulate themselves on a fine display of testosterone, mill about for a while, then line up and do it again.

Twenty-one million TV viewers tuned into the NFL opener between Buffalo and Los Angeles last Thursday. That’s down from the 25 million who watched last year’s opening game. Hmm. I wonder. Maybe those 4 million people who have seen the light.

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Fall Fetched Ideas

Michael 5 Comments

Fall arrived two days ago. Up here, north of the Equator fall arrived. In the Southern Hemisphere you’re just getting to spring so you might want to bookmark this and come back to it in 6 months. Yeah, there are a few brave souls south of zero degrees that read this. I was amazed also but thank you my Southern friends.

Anyway, fall rolled in here a little after 9:30 pm (2130 hours to those with 24 hour clocks) (just in case) and that should have been the end of it. “It” could be summer but in this case “it” is the question, “When does fall begin?” Apparently it’s not at the end of summer. Who knew?

This morning I read an article about the upcoming harvest moon, that being the full moon closest to the Autumnal Equinox, which you recall from 3 sentences ago was Saturday evening. Or night depending on your interpretation of a day’s divisions. The full moon closest to that day and time happens tonight, which according to the article signals the start of fall. Hmm.

Three weeks ago Americans celebrated Labor Day which not only commemorates violent confrontation between labor and management but also rocking hot, year-end deals on leftover 2018 model cars and trucks. And…the “unofficial end of summer” and darned if not then by extrapolation, the “unofficial start of fall.” That’s three down.

Starbucks, AKA If We Say So It Must Be So, Inc., released their Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL to those under 35), which according to Business Insider, “has become an iconic marker of the beginning of autumn.” That’s four.

FloridaFallTo meteorologists, also known as weather guys (or weather people to the more inclusive (which is the more inclusive term for politically correct)), “Meteorological Fall” begins September 1. To football fans (American Football naturally) fall begins with the first high school, college or NFL game of the year, to horse racing enthusiasts the summer ends after the Breeders Cup and by that same extrapolation used above, fall will start the day after (November 4 this year), and to residents of South Florida, fall never comes. We’re up to 5 through 8 if you’re still counting.

And then there are those who mark the change of season with the changing of time as Daylight Saving Time morphs into regular, old, ordinary Time, which itself keeps moving around. The last time I checked, and when I’m planning on changing my clocks, that is the first Sunday of November which is November 4 in 2018. Hey, that’s the same day as the beginning of the Fall of the Horse People. Should it count twice? My post, my rules, I say yes. Number 9.

Personally for me, fall begins the last Sunday of October (this October that’s the 28th) when I pull the battery on the Miata and consign it to the garage until spring (my spring, but that’s a different post).

Ten ways to figure out when fall starts. And in a few months, nobody will think twice about winter other than to question will it never end. Well, give me six months and I’ll see if I can figure out when the first day of spring arrives for 2019. Except for the Southern Hemisphere.

Sorry, you’re still on your own down there, but thanks for reading!

Sunday Funday

Michael 5 Comments

Now that football season has started I must be more selective about shopping days. The local college fans aren’t so bad, but I have to remember, don’t go to the store on Sunday before a football game. Those people are nuts!

The closer to kick off the more desperate the die-hard fans are to get their share of the game goodies home to the buffet before the rest of the tailgaters get there. Buffet might be a bit ambitious.

These folks have carts with nothing but nuts, chips, salsa, pretzels, those pre-arranged shrimp rings, football shaped chocolate chip cookies, cupcakes decorated in team colors icing, pre-cubed cheese, and sausage. Lots and lots of sausage.

And they don’t wear clothes. Not real clothes. The women are wearing halter tops, and short shorts, and things that wouldn’t pass as cover ups at the pool. Men have shorts, team logo baseball caps, flip flops, and replica jerseys. Everything is color coordinated to the home team and everybody wears sunglasses.  It is October isn’t it? Now, to be fair about it and so you don’t think that I live in a town filled with chauvinistic stereotypes, I did see one couple that she was the one dressed in a jersey and he in a muscle shirt which could be the male version of the halter.

If I had shopped with a list on Friday I wouldn’t have even been in the store on a weekend. But I didn’t and if I wanted breakfast this morning I had to run in for eggs. I thought I was going to be in trouble when I got inside the door and there were no shopping carts. Just needing a dozen eggs meant I didn’t have to have a cart but it was significant that there were none to be had because the parking lot wasn’t particularly full. That meant that each couple in the store had two carts. One for the aforementioned munchies and one for the beer.

It was also significant in that grocery stores always site the dairy section in the complete opposite corner of the store from the entrance. In order to get to those eggs I was going to have to do my impression of a running back picking his way through the line looking for that opening that will lead me to my goal. Once I made it to the egg case I had to tuck that carton in like I was protecting the ball as I turned for open field and bolted for the checkout lines.

Ah the checkout lines. Never get behind people wearing replica football jerseys in the self-service checkout line. Picture the conversation between the referee and a head coach who did not get the call go his way after a lengthy replay timeout. That would be mild compared to the discussion between pseudo-quarterback and the electronic cashier’s disembodied (and dispassionate) voice. In fact, I should remove those parentheses because I think it was the repetitive “please remove all items from the belt and try again” in the calm, dispassionate tone that had him really riled.

Eventually I got myself home with my dozen chicken eggs and a proper breakfast will be had. I have a feeling that a lot of my fellow shoppers will be having aspirin and lots of black coffee for their morning meals today.

Boy am I glad that we hockey fans aren’t like that.

 

Whatball?

Michael 3 Comments

Only 40 more days until hockey season. Forty days. If Noah could make it, I can. The problem I have that our intrepid Biblical sailor never had to overcome is that football is in its preseason and will start some 30 days before hockey. Around here (here seemingly being anywhere bordered by the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans and Mexico and Canada) football dominates.

As soon as the NFL entered their preseason activities sometime back at the beginning of summer with “OTAs” whatever they are, football highlighted the sports pages. When the colleges and high schools entered their “preseasons,” it took over. Baseball, golf, tennis, auto racing, horse racing, and any other summer sport went on the inside pages. Yesterday’s email of “headline stories!” from the local paper mentioned 9 can’t miss articles to read, 7 of them football related.

Football has a place. For the young kid crowd, the peewee set, it’s a terrific outlet. It doesn’t require much skill, no physical agility, and little intelligence, while still offering the immature male an opportunity to run amok, yell and scream, and hit each other with abandoned. But by the time they reach 16 you’d think they would be out of that stage preparing to terrorize everybody else when they are awarded drivers licenses.

FootBallI don’t even understand how the sport got its name. Baseball employs bases. Basketballs are aimed at baskets. Ice hockey is played on ice. Soccer players sock each other. A football is a …. What? A local sports writer who is a voter in the football hall of fame selection process has often said that he would never vote for a kicker to be enshrined in that hall. Yet the football kicker is the only football player on the football team who actually uses his foot in the play of the game.

Just forty more days. Forty days. Time to gather two centers, two left wings, two right wings, two left defense, two right defense, two goalies, two coaches, two pucks, two Zambonis, two….

 

The Sporting Life

Michael Leave a comment

Life is made of moments. There are the “aha!” moments,” the “you wouldn’t trade for anything” moments, the outright epiphanies. And then there are the things that make you go “really?”

Saturday evening I was out shopping and the couple in the check-out line in front of me was in full on, game day football garb. Replica jerseys of two of the biggest names in local pro football team history, team hats, scarf around her neck, logo emblazoned leather jacket for him, right down to the NFL licensed wristwatch. Their cart held beer, mixers, pretzels, crackers and cheese platter, and a custom made football shaped chocolate chip cookie. These guys were set for some serious football watching.

The problem with this picture is that it is the end of April. Football is as far out of season as deer hunting. The local hockey team is in the second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The local baseball team was that day on a six game winning streak. The city’s annual marathon was due to step off the following morning. Basketball, golf, soccer, and lacrosse were going strong. Football?

I wasn’t the only one wondering. The clerk at the cash register noticed it also. “You guys are set for a party.”

“Yep,” football man fan replied. “A draft party.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I heard the..”

“Don’t say it! We recorded the draft and we’re watching it tonight. All we need now is to make it home without hearing any about it and we can enjoy the whole thing at one time.”

Now, the NFL draft was just winding up its third and final day at the time this conversation was going on. I know I’m not the world’s biggest fan and even I have at times not wanted to be made aware of the result of a particular event because I was recording it for later viewing. The women curling finals from the 2014 Winter Olympics comes to mind. And this part of God’s green earth is such a football fanatic’s fantasy to the point that a cable network has presented a series about the excesses that pass for local little league football. But I have never encountered a devotee so zealous that taping the sport’s entry draft qualifies as appropriate accompaniment to cheese and crackers.

They say it takes all kinds. I’m certainly thankful of that. Otherwise how would I be able to carry on the fine tradition of blogging about the real reality that is out there for five years now. Let’s keep those kinds coming. Go reality! Go team!

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Let’s Be Careful Out There

Michael Leave a comment

The great candy/costume countdown has begun!  Depending on where you live it could be just 4, 5, or 6 short days till Treat or Treat Night.  We’d say till Halloween but that’s always October 31 no matter what calendar you’re using.  Why the varied time spans?  Because October 31 (Halloween, remember) is on a Friday this year.  We don’t know about where you are but here that’s high school football playoff time.

So people don’t have to decide between the lessor of the two evils (or greater of the two hauls), many municipalities within school districts involved in the playoffs are opting to move one or the other.  Since football is an immovable feast, Trick or Treat is the one to go.  It seems like that might confuse the ones who are the most excited about Trick or Treating (Halloween party attendees excluded).  Those would be the little ones, the same little ones who watch the television sit coms and specials that feature their stars Trick or Treating on Halloween – a sort of novel concept for this year.

A quick check on the Internet revealed that at least 26 communities in our county (out of 100+) are holding onto tradition, including both He and She’s. It just seems right that Trick or Treat happens on Halloween.

But there could be issues.  And not just football conflicts.  Most places allow Trick or Treating from 6 to 8pm.  Most football games start at 7.  There could be a mad rush at the beginning of the tour with folks hurrying to still make it to the games.  And it is a Friday.  There will be parties – house parties, office parties, bar parties.  All of them will have people rushing to and fro, mostly in SUVs way too big for just one person versus multiple children.   And then we’ll add that here our local weather forecast is calling for mild and clear all week long, except for Friday night when it will be cold and rainy.  Translation: it will be slippery and extra dark.

Even with the potential for problems Halloween fun belongs on Halloween, including Trick or Treat.  Kids are kids only once (Halloween party attendees excluded).  We just have to make sure that the potential for avoiding problems is stronger than the reverse.  Halloween night, it’s always a great evening for a neighborhood stroll – just be careful out there!

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

And the Band Played On

Michael Leave a comment

Today is Monday.  That means yesterday was Sunday.  That means across most of America people watched football.  Regardless of which players did or didn’t play for whatever thing they did, and regardless of what companies did or didn’t advertise regardless of what players did play even though others didn’t for whatever they did, and regardless if outraged interviewees on television did or didn’t rage on about what should have happened to the players who did and didn’t play, across most of America people watched football.

Here’s something interesting about the days that led up to yesterday.  Whenever a player was questioned about what he or someone else did, the answer would have gotten anyone else fined, fired, jailed, or all the above.  Whether regarding domestic violence, child abuse, assault, driving under the influence, or possession of an illegal substance, the player almost always admitted guilt to the allegation but then went an extra step and said “but it’s not” whatever.  “Yes, I beat my wife but it’s not abuse.”  We’re sorry; did somebody change the English language?  Are the meanings of words different this month than last?  Doesn’t “yes” still mean “yes, I did it” and doesn’t “no” not mean “except in my case”?

We think those players really believe what they are saying.  They really don’t believe knocking a woman unconscious is assault.  They really don’t believe beating a small child is abuse.  It comes from the violence of the sport they play.  And the “players’ little helpers” that they take.  When the job is one of inflicting pain and incapacitating the competition it’s difficult to separate reality from reality.  And just in case that player can’t incapacitate the competition based on a somewhat normal body build, there are steroids to help. Of course they are illegal substances except for the professionals who take them.  After all, they are professionals used to declaring, and being believed when declaring, “Yes, except.”  And it gives them ‘roid rage as the standard excuse for all bad things that are done off the field.  It’s all very convenient.

Yet it’s all still very illegal.  Today, somewhere in America, a couple will have an argument.  They will say things they shouldn’t.  She will turn her back on him.  He will reach out and take her arm to try to encourage her to stay and talk it out.  She will call the police because he “laid hands on her” and he will spend the night in jail.  A far cry from punching her senseless but he doesn’t have the advantage of having thousands of fans cheering on violent behavior from him, perhaps even including his victim.  So violent or not, he gets an all expense stay at the Abusers Astoria while the football player gets people draping signs over the stadium fences declaring their undying devotion to the sot.

Fair?  Of course not.  Expected?  Well, yesterday was Sunday.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

A Little Off the Top

Michael Leave a comment

This weekend past was the NFL Week One weekend. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal.  College football has been going on for a couple of weeks.  High school and midget or little league football might have been happening for close to a month in some places.  And even pro football hasn’t been unheard from with nationally televised pre-season games.  But this was the official week.  The week when football at all levels was played and the games counted.  And there must have been much concern over the summer months because the coaches are all bald.

On Sunday when they spend lots of time aiming the cameras at the coaches along the sidelines during the game that you care about and are watching and all the others that they show during the half-time and post-game reports during and after the game you care about, most of those coaches were hairless.  Ditto for the college coaches on Saturday.  Even on the Friday night local news and in the Saturday morning paper, many of the high school coaches that got some PR time showed off their newly shorn former locks.  Bald we tell you!  They are all bald!

They will say they are making a statement, showing off their toughness, deliberating declaring themselves to be the more testosterone laden version versus the one across the field on the opponents’ benches.  They are the cross between The Rock and Bruce Willis.  Hmmm, let’s look a little closer.

We think they are all shaving their heads because they want to mask their receding hairlines.  For many men, it’s not an easy thing to deal with.  It’s much easier to design a successful pass rush when you look as menacing as the rushers.  Half-time pep talks go over bigger when you just have to grunt and let the bad locker room lighting reflect the sheen from a recent shave.  But when everybody is doing it, it’s not so cool.

We’re estimating close to 75% of the coaches spotted on the sidelines displayed the all over haircut.  (Oddly, those coaches with hair seemed to be wearing hats.)  Where the threat (of whatever) showed when the shaved head was one in a hundred, at 100 out of 100 they are just all the same model.  It is sort of like when the coaches stopped wearing suits on the sidelines and went for golf shirts.  The first few added to their menace repertoire as everyone could see their muscles bulging against the stretchy fabric.  Now they just look ready to hit the late night appetizer specials at the tavern down the street.

So, is the shaved head going to be the new fashion statement for this year’s sideline strollers?  Perhaps.  It’s not necessarily a bad look.  It’s just that those who are sporting it should remember why they favor the clean crown.  And remember that cross between The Rock and Bruce Willis?  Do it enough times and somebody is going to end up looking like a cross between Mr. Clean and Humpty Dumpty.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

The Family That Plays Together

Michael Leave a comment

Sports are a great example of sibling rivalry gone good and good things passed on from generation to generation.

Start with the current Stanley Cup Playoffs with parts of the Staal and Sutter dynasties facing each other. They hope to join the 10 of 73 families who have played with or against each other for the cup. You don’t like hockey? Let’s move to the other playoffs going on, the NBA. There have been over 25 pairs of brothers playing in the NBA, 4 of them this season. A like number of fathers and sons have dribbled across the hardcourt.

Moving outside, 8 sets of brothers are playing baseball this year. There is even a set of umpire brothers out there, safely stated. Football is tops in family gatherings. In its history, 348 sets of brothers played in the NFL. And before researching this we came up just with the Mannings.  That put us 12 short of the brother sets who were on the field last season.

All of this was brought to mind when we sat down to watch this year’s Kentucky Derby. Brothers Jose and Irad Ortiz saddled up together, each for his first run for the roses. Had that ever happened before? In a sport where the horses could all meet at the same family reunion and where owners and trainers routinely qualify for a family plan, the riders mounting the stars of the show are quite often unknown outside the racing world. We found out that the Ortiz brothers will be the fourth set of brothers to have run in the 140 runnings of the Derby, the first in 30 years when Eddie and Sam Maple rode their mounts around the famed track in 1984. Other brothers appearing at Churchill Downs on the first Saturday in May were Chris and Gregg McCarron in 1976 and Angel and Milo Valenzuela in 1960.

There are a bunch of reasons to say family matters!

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

Dressed for Success

Michael 1 Comment

Tomorrow there will be new meaning to Casual Friday in at least 30 U. S. cities.  Pittsburgh and Nashville get their turn today.  That would be Football Gear Friday in the 32 NFL home cities plus wherever rabid fans live.

The whole Casual Friday phenomenon which began in earnest at the tail end of the twentieth century was to embrace the beginning of the weekend with a more relaxed approach to office dress.  True casual dress such as shorts and t-shirts never made the grade beyond some uber-casual businesses mostly ending in dot-com.  But a more relaxed look took hold and spawned the whole concept of business casual.  Something you wouldn’t mind meeting clients in during the week day and then heading out for a couple after work without stopping at home for a wardrobe adjustment.  And life went on.  Until…

Until the football fanatics took over.  And football is the perfect sport to stretch the rules with.  Baseball plays every day of the week.  Hockey plays every day of the week.  NASCAR is already as casual as you can get.  But football is ideal.  What a better event to look forward to on a Friday afternoon than the culminating event of Sunday afternoon.  It is the weekend. 

It probably started innocently enough.  A lapel pin in the sport coat, a bracelet festooned with the local team logo, an earring here, a pendant there.  Rivals within the same building would look for the bigger cheering device.  Coffee cups, lunch bags, even briefcases.  Flags were hung outside office windows and banners were draped across reception desks.  The momentum was on and there was no going back!

Accessories soon gave way to golf shirts with team logos replacing the breast pocket.  Team hats would be seen topping tall heads in the elevators.  Scarves and sweaters with patterns embracing the home team came next.   Then it went where Casual Friday had resisted all those years.  T-shirts and sweatshirts with logos, inspirational team sayings, and pictures of favorite players cracked the casual barrier.  Then it was only a matter of the playoffs coming to town that brought replica jerseys into boardrooms where the morning meetings were led by replica mascots.

And so, every Friday in 32 cities plus the outlier cities with the out-placed rabid fans the commuter trains and busses, the freeways and parkways, the offices and factories, the coffee shops and emergency rooms turn into seas of Black and Gold, of flocks of angry birds, of packs of Lions and Panthers and Bears (oh my).  And the day marches by and it might seem a little odd, responsible adults dressing like high schoolers at a pep rally.  But the morning chats are lighter, the desks clear of clutter a little faster, and the trip for a couple after work a little shorter.

Monday will come soon enough.  Have a little fun before the weekend.  Go ahead and take the casual way to work tomorrow.  Or today if you’re in Pittsburgh or Nashville.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?