Tag Food

McYouWon’tBelieveThisOne

Michael Leave a comment

It was there for a while.  A little while to be sure, but to be sure, it was there.  Or they were there.  Those two words.  Those two words that are almost never heard at a fast food drive through window.  Thank you.  So rare are they that we were certain they had just been substituted by some unfamiliar phrase and thus we posted a page of translations one might find useful when pulling around to Window Number One (“The 21st Century Drive-Through Translator,”  May 8, 2014). Now, however, after a more recent visit to Drive Through Land, he is certain that those words, or lack of them, are iceberg tip zone.

It was a couple weeks ago that he was starved and needed something to eat and needed it fast.  Ahead of him he saw arches and pigtails and crowns.  Didn’t matter where he stopped, they were basically interchangeable.  He pulled into the first one and saw only one mini-van at the speaker.  This should be quick he thought.  Mini-van equals kids, equals kid meals, equals one-two-three ordering.  Wrong!

As he pulled behind the van and lowered his window he caught the sound of the lady ordering loud enough that she could have done so without the speaker set-up.  “…and a bacon ranch salad without the bacon.”  A pause presumably while she read the read-out on the speaker’s screen.  “Not a side salad.  A bacon ranch salad, hold the bacon.”  The response came through just as loud. “That is a side salad with ranch dressing.”  “No it’s not.”  Here is where he should have turned around and moved on to contestant restaurant Number Two.

Eventually the mini-van lady and the disembodied speaker voice came to an agreement of what kind of salad she was going to get (even though nobody really understands why these places serve salads anyway).  She pulled around to Window Number One and he gave his order which the headless speaker person totaled to $4.28.  He reached into his change cup, pulled out a quarter and three pennies, felt for a bill in his pocket hoping to snag either a five or a ten and was relieved to find a ten between his fingers, and made his own way to Window Number One, the very window where the mini-van was still stationed!

“…don’t ever change my order again like that.  If I ask for a salad I want that salad not a little side salad.  I know what you people make on those things.  Is that the phone number to call complaints to.  I’m dialing it now.”  And off to Window Number Two she went, probably misdialing all the way.

He took the now vacated place, the no longer headless voice repeated his total, and he passed over the bill and four coins.  The young lady in the window asked if he wanted his receipt, he said no thank you and waited for his change.  Instead of money she handed him his receipt (yes, the very one he said he didn’t need) and uttered those immortal words, “There you go.”  He continued to wait and when she didn’t get it he tried a verbal cue.  “Hmm, my change?”  “You gave me 28 cents,” she said.  “Yes,” he said, “but not with a four dollar bill.”

He looked up and saw that the mini-van was still at Window Number Two.  He wondered if the mini-van lady was ever a drive through worker.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Giving Thursday?

Michael Leave a comment

It’s been a week around here.  Quite a week.  Quite a month.  We made it through Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday.  And let’s not forget the days leading to and away from these occasions.  What do they have in common?  Giving with a side of Guilt.  We can all admit it.  If it wasn’t for the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, a lot of us would never get the chance to declare “Charitable Contributions” on next year’s tax return.

Around here one of the local television stations has been for years a major sponsor for an annual Thanksgiving food drive. For weeks they would broadcast PSAs encouraging donations to the local food bank to build the coffers as strong as possible for a special Thanksgiving distribution.  They even convinced a local bank to match cash donations physically made at the bank.  The day before Thanksgiving they announced the total amount raised.  An impressive amount but the amount isn’t important.  What is important is that even then, after all the food was packed, the turkeys were ready, and the meals were being prepared, people wanted to know if they could still donate to the food bank.

It was on Thanksgiving morning that the news programs all led off with interviews of volunteers at missions, shelters, kitchens, or what you will call them who open their doors to feed the poor and homeless.  While the organizers told of the number of men, women, and families who would stop in both to serve and be served, the cameras panned the pans of turkey, stuffing, vegetables, soup, and pies.  And on each TV station the intrepid reporter would ask if they had enough volunteers for that day if someone wanted to stop by to help.

The evening newscast on Giving Tuesday made certain that viewers realized that even though it was late in the day there was still time to hit the Internet to find a worthwhile charitable organization to accept donations.  They also had stories on the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Campaign, the local clothing drives, and the donations car dealers would make to various associations if one test drove or bought a vehicle.

All of these had some sort of sense of urgency to them.  It was as though those who were responsible for these various drives knew that if the public didn’t get around to giving now it could be another year before people gave of their spare change or their spare time.

It might be that this is the time when wallets are opened more regularly but most people recognize that there are hungry people in May just as there are in December.  That a dollar donated to the free energy fund in spring still heats the water as it does in winter.  That a light jacket in April is just as appreciated as a warm scarf in January.

The needy have no season.  Unfortunate circumstances can befall any one any day.  If you didn’t get the chance to donate to your food bank, coat drive, or other charity this week, there will always be time.  It might have a catchy ring to it but Giving has no special day.  If you missed last Tuesday there are 364 other days to pick from.  And we believe that most do.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Movie Along – or – There’s Nothing to See Here

Michael Leave a comment

Thanksgiving just isn’t the same holiday as it used to be.  Used to be just sitting around eating with friends and family.  Used to be the day one would rest up for the assault on the Christmas sales the upcoming weekend.  Used to be parades and football.  And it used to be the evening when all the Christmas movies and specials would hit the airways and America would fall asleep in front of “It’s a Wonderful Life” having just experienced part of one.  It’s time for another tradition to bite the dust.

Where did all the Christmas movies go?  It didn’t take a very long look at the TV listings for last Thursday to see an absence of any cinematic welcome to the Yule season. Oh, there were movies.  “Jurassic Park,” “Maverick,” “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,” “Eight Men Out,” and “Tora! Tora! Tora!,” all good movies but not a Christmas Tree among them, were featured by the broadcast and basic cable stations.  No “Miracle on 34th Street,” no “Christmas Vacation,” not even a “Fred Claus” was beamed into living rooms on Thanksgiving.  There must have been too many shoppers out looking for Thursday Night Pre-Black Friday Specials for the networks to take a chance on making the Christmas movie season opener special.

Certainly sometime in the next 25 days we will see all of the “Home Alone” offerings, a “White Christmas,” and several versions of a “Christmas Carol.” If one makes an effort to see them one will see them.  Otherwise there will be snippets gleaned while cookies are baked, presents are bought, packages are wrapped, and cards are signed.

Maybe that’s the tradition.  Not so much the movies but the memories of them while the hustle and bustle of the season grabs the biggest part of our attention.  We’re living in a time when time is more valuable than most of what we do with it.  And Christmas is the time when time is at its dearest.  There is more of everything in this last month of the year.  It might be the only time that our houses look different with seasonal decorations.  We spend most of our disposable income right now.  More of us go to more churches and services than any other time of the year.  We plan, attend, and even avoid some of the only parties of the year right now.  We even know we have to bake cookies but we aren’t sure why.

Whether it’s with the memories, the movies, or the cookies, Thanksgiving still starts the Christmas season.  Make of it what you will.  It’s your time.  Even if you choose to spend it watching “The Poseidon Adventure” and swear it really is a Christmas movie.  There’s even a tree in it.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

(To see some of our favorite Christmas movies, go to “And the Winner is…” from December 24, 2011.)

 

Thank Your Local Businessman

Michael 1 Comment

Uploading a Thanksgiving blog post used to be easy.  Say thank you to the collective occupations that always worked the holidays – long before anybody even thought of Black Friday.  Those would be your firemen, hospital workers, police and paramedics.  Or…poke fun at those who think Black Friday is the actual holiday and Thanksgiving is an opportunity to carb up before the big race for the savings.  (You can see all of our serious and not so serious thank you posts by typing “Thanksgiving” into the search box on this page.)

This post is going to be just a bit different from those of years past.  This year let’s thank all of our small business owners for still toughing it up and being there with some of the items you’ll never find at the mass merchandisers. This Saturday is Small Business Saturday, an opportunity to support small businesses.  Except for some mega-mergers, aka takeovers, no business ever started out as a Fortune 500 company.  Every business was a small business sometime.  (Now that could make for a catchy little musical number, don’t you think?)  And every small business has something unique to offer.

Whether a local jewelry store, a fashionable private boutique, a corner bistro, or a used book store, it’s the small business that is to variety some of the spiciest of life.  Mind you, there is nothing wrong with patronizing large discount stores.  It just seems that these outfits all have the same stuff.  Even their private label brands are the same, just in different packaging.  If you are looking for a really unique piece of jewelry don’t go to whatshisname.  You’re going to have to find a real jeweler with real tools and real talent to turn your vision into a real present.  Looking for somewhere to take a break during Saturday shopping that doesn’t include “Drive around to the first window?”  Maybe that little diner that’s only open for breakfast and lunch is just the ticket.

In 2013 Americans spent $5.7 billion at small business retailers and restaurants on Small Business Saturday giving them a little of the Thanksgiving weekend shopping spree that started on Black Friday.  It took until the 48th week of the year but for many that was when their balance sheet could finally be printed with black ink.  Small Business Saturday was able to give the business owners something to be thankful for.  The deals you can get from them can make you just as thankful.

Yep, Thanksgiving used to be easy.  Burn a bird, stuff yourself with dressing, cram some cranberries, eat your sweet potatoes, veg out on the couch for a couple parades and football games, take a nap before going to bed, then call off on Friday.  Today you have to decide where to shop, when to shop, should you wait in line at Store A at 5 or go for the one hour guarantee at Store B at 6.  Now you have a new option to consider.  Put “shopping” on your to do list for Saturday and go back to taking Thursday and Friday off.  Go ahead, veg out on the couch for two days!  You’ll thank us for it.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

In Pursuit of (a Thankful) Perfection

Michael 1 Comment

A few years ago He of We included in the Thanksgiving blessing thanks to God for making the family somewhat dysfunctional.  After all the relatives were done gasping and sputtering he explained that the imperfections are what keep the family together as we all support those who need it when they need it.  A few weeks ago on some television show he heard the head of the household give his fictional blessing thanking God for his imperfect family.  After all the relatives were done gasping and sputtering he explained that the imperfections are what keep the family together as they support those who need it when they need it.  Somebody has been paying attention.

What fun is it if everybody gets along all the time?  How would anybody grow if there was never an incentive to be better tomorrow than one is today?  Isn’t part of giving thanks improving from year to year – from day to day even?  Otherwise it’s just an exercise for everybody else to conform to one person’s idea of normal, regardless of how abnormal that normal may be – or might even be is.

Once upon a time all of the traditions that we hold so dear on Thanksgiving weren’t.  They weren’t traditions, they weren’t habits, they might not have even been normal.  But they stuck.  For some reason everybody decided that on Thanksgiving we would have turkey and stuffing with cranberry dressing.  Turkeys are impossible to cook properly, cranberries are the sourest of all the fall fruits we could possibly pick, and to quote a well know TV celebrity chef, stuffing is evil.  Somehow, this terrible trio became the standard for our most family-centric holiday.

Eventually we learned how to prep that bird so it stayed juicy throughout cooking, figured out how to sweeten those bog berries, and learned that you could make a stuffing that actually cooked all the way through when you do it in Pyrex rather than poultry.  The imperfections guided our practices to make a new normal.

So this week when you are practicing your blessing, think about not just what you are thankful for but what you’d wish you could change.  Then be thankful that you might get the chance to change them.

Who knows, maybe someday our Thanksgiving feast will start at 9 in the morning so one can be first in line at the Pre-Black-Friday Sale as part of a new tradition.  Yeah, right.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Everything Old Is New Again

Michael Leave a comment

It’s that most wonderful time of the year again.  Well, it’s that time of the year again.  That time when every department store has a CD player in the shape of a 1950s jukebox, every home improvement store has next to the high tech LED lights those big C-3 bulbs, and every video department has “Miracle on 34th Street,” “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Frosty the Snowman.”  Yes, it’s retro time!

Retro is an interesting concept.  Can’t come up with an original idea?  Retro it!  Can’t come up with a winning idea?  Retro it!  Can’t come up with any idea that won’t get you fired before the holiday breaks?  Retro it!  And quite often it works.

There truly is more right than wrong when it comes to retro.  Consider these.  Look at all of the retro car designs that have hit the road in the past few years.  The underpinnings were new but the looks from the Chevy HHR to the Ford Mustang were based on clear winners from the past.

Check out some of the most recent movies to hit the big screens.  “Walk Among the Tombstones” released a couple of months ago is based on a Lawrence Block novel published in 1992.  The Bond flick “Casino Royale” from 2006 was written in 1967.  The upcoming “Imitation Game” is based on the 1983 publication The Enigma.

Entire television networks have been built around classic television shows from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.    Feel free to consider this as retro-programming.  Sometimes the networks will even run original commercials with the shows.  Now that’s retro!

Fashion, furniture, and architecture are rediscovering styles from a generation or two past.  Classic art is experiencing a resurgence in galleries and at auctions.  Even food is going retro.  The hottest meat in town is buffalo – that would be burgers, not wings.  And they are being sold out of trucks a la Mr. Softee.  Modern is taking some time off so we can appreciate what was.

Obviously there is much more right with retro than there is wrong.  It’s the seasonal stuff that one sees in catalogs and weekly ad flyers that give retro a certain queasiness.  You can’t even make a cheap imported CD player look like a classic jukebox let alone create the feel of a 1950s diner in your family room just because now you can play Lady Gaga in a plastic box with an arched top and blinking lights.  So let’s leave the retro to those who know what they are doing and how to develop it for today’s markets.

Now if you really want to gift your favorite bloggers with a 1950s style jukebox, type “Jukebox for sale” into your favorite search engine. Skip the results that start with “CD” and peruse the remaining offerings.  There’s a corner in the family room ready to go.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Children of the Candy Corn

Michael 2 Comments

Listen up everyone.  Today, as is October 30 of every year, is National Candy Corn Day!  And you thought you had to wait for the last day of the month for the only good holiday in October.

Candy corn is good stuff.  Butter, sugar, honey.  What more could you ask for?  Add some food coloring and a little more than an hour of your time and you have the ultimate fall candy.  Better still, hop on down to the grocery store and buy packs of the stuff in a little more than a minute.

Some of you reading this might remember making or getting home made candy and treats for Halloween.  Candy corn, candied apples, fudges, cookies, popcorn balls, and gooey nut clusters were classics where kids would memorize the houses for year to year gratification.  Then some psychopath decided it was a good idea to stick razor blades in apples and now all any self-respecting parent will let a child keep is whatever comes sealed by the manufacturer.

Today if you want home made you better hope that a very generous soul invites you to his or her (or their) house party. Or, bring back the traditions and make your own for your own.  Nothing wrong with that.  And you control the ingredients.  Perhaps a splash of rum added to the popcorn balls’ caramel paste or some bourbon infused marshmallows to hold the nut clusters together.  Maybe bobbing for apples in a barrel of Riesling.  Now that’s a party!

But back to the candy corn.  Yes it’s fall and yes the ultimate is chowing down on those little kernels usually before they even hit the candy dish.  But there is so much more one can do with these a-maize-ing treats.  Sprinkle them on your cupcakes like, well like sprinkles.  Let them play with your cereals either in your Rice Krispy treats or Chex mixes.  Add them to a batch of chocolate chip cookies.  Mix them with the peanuts before adding that whole kit and caboodle to popcorn and caramel for an even sweeter popcorn ball.

And finally, three words that will serve you well for the entire fall season:  Candy Corn and Prosecco.  It doesn’t get any better than that.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

It’s the Not So Great Pumpkin

Michael 2 Comments

According to the gardening section of our local paper this was a banner year for pumpkins.  Around here you don’t need a reporter to tell you that.  Pumpkin harvests are far ahead of any recent year and they are still growing.  Pumpkins are everywhere!  Grocery stores have them by the crateful; pumpkin patches are overflowing; backyard gardeners actually grew usable pumpkins this year. On a trip to a drug store He tripped right into a crate of fresh pumpkins right there in the front aisle between the cell phone cases and the “as seen on TV” end cap.  Truly, pumpkins are everywhere!

Homes are filling with plans for pumpkin pies, rolls, cakes, cookies, and custards.  All of the good things that pumpkin has to offer when fall rolls around are going to be as everywhere as the pumpkins themselves are today.  And that’s good.  That’s great.  Usually fall means canned pumpkin for some pies and a pumpkin roll.  But it’s only in the years where there are so many fresh pumpkins that home bakers become more adventurous and try their hands at some of the great pumpkin offerings usually paged right on by in their cookbooks.

Unfortunately, “adventurous” is not limited to the merry home cook.  The commercial world has also caught on that there are a lot of pumpkins this year.  For years we’ve dealt with the pumpkin shaped peanut butter cups and the pumpkin shaped marshmallow “peeps” and the chewy pumpkins that you find on the shelf next to the candy corn and keep hoping they taste like the candy corn but they really taste more like the cob.  And that’s usually it.  A few things that look like pumpkins and taste like something else.  Well, not any more.

It must have started with the coffee shops.  Every year they all come up with their own version of pumpkin spice coffee.  Not bad if you like pumpkin and coffee.  Sort of like eating a piece of pumpkin pie while speeding down the highway on your way to work.  (Not really but those guys from Seattle spend a bazillion dollars wanting us to feel that way and who are we to burst their bubble?)  But now, things are out of control!  Just in yesterday’s paper, in one advertising insert for just one mega-store chain, it said that you can go in and buy pumpkin flavored ground coffee, tea bags, latte, oatmeal, yogurt, Oreos, Toll House chips, and chewing gum.  Pumpkin flavored chewing gum?  Really?

We think maybe someone is carrying this pumpkin thing a little too far now.  Pumpkin flavored chewing gum.  Hmm.  That will show up at the discount houses soon.  Now if you’ll excuse us, we saw a recipe for pumpkin pie rice pudding we want to try.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Passages of Fall

Michael 1 Comment

Over the past week He of We noticed fallen leaves in yards while meandering through the neighborhood on his afternoon walk, She of We talked about getting her garden ready for next Spring’s plantings, Daughter of He contemplated buying new snow tires, and stores everywhere have Halloween candy out.  All of them are sure signs Fall is soon here.  But the surest sign of Fall to come isn’t any of these, it isn’t the shortened days and cooler nights, it isn’t the model year end clearance sales on the car lots.  Nope, the surest sign of the next season coming right around the corner is the Covered Bridge Festival!

Yes, there are still covered bridges in the country.  In use even.  Up in our corner of the country there are two neighboring counties that have a combined festival every year right at the start of Fall.  If you have the kind of time we did some years ago and wanted to make a quest of it, you can drive up to and over 30 of the covered bridges spanning (no pun intended) nearly 90 miles of quiet, rural roadway.  (It’s a perfect way to end the convertible season, although if you’ve read us for a while you’ve read posts that make it clear that we never really end convertible season.  But that’s a different story for a different day.)  At 17 of those bridges there will be vendors selling their autumnal decorations, local food booths, singers, dancers and other entertainers, chain saw carvers, quilt makers, and artists in almost every medium.

So why are we so excited over what seems to be just a giant craft show spread over 1,400 square miles?  Like most things we like there are the people.  Some of the most talented people display their talents at the bridges and nowhere else.  Others who are at other arts festivals actually get to spend time with visitors in a more relaxed setting.  Even though it is only 20 or so miles from home there are foods, sights, and sounds we only see the one day a year that we get to the bridges.  And if we miss a year, when the following year rolls around and the dates get closer, the anticipation grows even stronger.

It’s not so much that the Covered Bridges are from a simpler time.  In fact, they are from a harder time.  If we had a choice of trying to make a living in 1814 or 2014 we pick now.  But they are from a sturdier time.  These are bridges built in the early to mid 1800’s and they still work.  And most of the things that we’ve bought in their shadows still work too.  There’s an endorsement, even for a decoration.

And it’s always a great day to take a ride in the woods – and know we can’t get lost!

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

More things that make us go “Hmm”

Michael Leave a comment

These were some of the things overheard or read over the last week that made us go hmm. 

An article released by the Washington Post discussed the rise of non-dairy milk products.  We’re not so certain you can call soy “milk” a milk product but we suppose it sounds better than “plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage.”  Anyway, in this article, the author contends that the plant-based products are the fastest growing segment of the dairy beverage industry segment.  In two years it has doubled its market share.  If you continued to read and did a little extra research you would find out that plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverages’ market share rose from 3% to 6%, a 100% increase.  Of course it’s the fastest growing segment.  It’s the only growing segment.  Every other beverage has already been at the top for a few generations.  If dairy-cow milk products rose a modest 10%, that would make milk’s market share 104%, clearly impossible.  Anything other than milk, the cow-type, is going to be the fastest growing segment.  Hmm.

That same article postulated why the plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage was growing at such a phenomenal rate.  Because it tastes good.  Actually it’s not the plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage that tastes good; it’s the flavored, plant-based, non-dairy dairy-substitute beverage that tastes good.  We’re pretty certain that if you took the vanilla flavor out of the soy “milk,” it would taste much like a hot and sour soup without the hot or sour.  Hmm.

While reaching for a gallon of milk (cow-based), He of We overheard a man on his cell phone while standing in front of the creams, half-and-half, buttermilk, and other milk products at the store.  “Are you sure 8 ounces is a cup?” he was saying.  “There isn’t anything on the carton that says so.  Maybe I should get a big carton.”  A pause.  “Well if you say so, but if you run out don’t expect me to come back out here for more heavy cream just because you’re too stubborn to admit that 8 ounces might not be a cup.” Hmm.

Further on down the aisle, He was at the deli counter and asked for a half pound of Colby cheese.  The counterperson plopped some slices on the scale and it registered 0.45 pound.  “Is that close enough” asked the cheese seller or do you want me to take a slice off?”  Hmm.

In the television news there was a story about the rising cost of cooking out. Actually, it was about the rising cost of the food most of us put on the grill, that is, beef and pork. The story mentioned that the rising costs of beef and pork could increase the cost of a backyard cook out by as much as 20% from last year.   They made no mention of the relative cost of charcoal or bottled propane. They did suggest that to keep the cost of cooking out down we should consider not cooking out as much. We’re not certain because we aren’t the ones important enough to be on television, but it seems that if the cost of hamburger meat used to grill a burger outside went up, it also went up if you use it to broil that same hamburger inside. Hmm.

This one was heard on a radio commercial for vodka. It claimed that the advertised product is gluten free. Of course it is. The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics advices that all distilled spirits are gluten-free. It also seems to us that if you’re really required to worry about the gluten content of anything, who would be one diagnosed with celiac disease, you’re probably not going to be drinking much vodka, with or without gluten. Hmm.

We know that you can believe everything you read on the Internet (just ask anyone who works for the Internet). We suppose that goes for TV, radio, and newspapers, too. Hmm, we’ll get back to you about supermarkets.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.