Tag Family

Say What?

Michael Leave a comment

Should old acquaintances be forgot?  Depends on the acquaintance and if he – or she – is old, long, and sighs.

Not only is it bad enough that New Year’s Eve comes at the end of a year, a most traumatic time for many, usually the last we hear of it is sung to a song written a couple hundred years ago in a language not many understand derived from poems written a couple hundred years earlier still in a language fewer use.  But sing it we do.  Even if we don’t have a clue to what we’re singing.

Somewhere, sometime, somebody translated most of the song.  We don’t know how accurate the translation is but we’ve been singing it that way since Guy Lombardo led his Pennsylvanians into the New Year that was 1930.  The Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote the lyrics as we know them in 1788.  He wrote more 500 poems and this is the one we remember at least once a year.  His inspiration may or may not have come from even earlier songs and poems dating to the 1500s.  Those earlier songs would seem to have or have not themselves inspired by yet even older Scottish folk songs of love and friendship.  It’s odd that even those whose careers rely on interpreting literature can’t agree on what the words mean.  The version Burns put to paper appears to be of friends recently parted.  Some say the lyrics refer to battles fought for king and country and some for God and honor.  Some have interpreted them to speak of a bond among men and some to a relationship between a man and a woman.  And those are of the lyrics we understand.

And no wonder there is confusion.  There’s not even consensus of what the title means.  We tried to research what those three little words really are and what they really mean.  The problem with “auld lang syne” is that it sounds suspiciously like English so most people feel they know what the words are and what they mean.  Odd long sign.  All sung high.  Old dang sign.  Old long high.  Odd dang high.  The first four references we checked gave us four different translations:  old long ago, time long past, old times’ sake, and times gone by.  So we gave up.  They mean whatever you want them to mean. 

We take them to mean that one should remember the year just ending and wish every friendship grows a year older by the end of next year.  The memory of every moment spent is a gift for the moments yet to come.  Every day gone by is an opportunity to welcome a new day.

Should old acquaintance be forgot? 
Oh dear let’s never mind. 
We’ll beg a cup the kind you brought
and pay you back some other time.

Hey, Happy New Year!

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

On the Second Day of Christmas

Michael 1 Comment

Happy Day after Christmas, or if you prefer, St. Stephen’s Day or Boxing Day.  We don’t think much about the day after Christmas.  Usually it’s back to work, start thinking what resolution we’ll be breaking sometime in January, or where did we put those receipts. 

There are some who will continue to give presents throughout the twelve days of Christmas or in some fashion commemorate the march of the Wise Men.  For many though, the days immediately after Christmas are seen as the end of the season and the more common discussions heard around water coolers, proverbial and literal, are of when will you be taking down the decorations, have you gotten all those toys put together, and did you get what you wanted for Christmas.

Neither of us is so dramatic as to have a tree at the curbside on December 26 although both of us know people who will cart their formerly grandly decorated evergreen to the curb as soon as after Christmas Day’s festivities have ended.  No doubt these are the people who had purchased their live trees while so many others were celebrating Black Friday.  He of We typically keeps his outdoor decorations up and lit until the Feast of the Epiphany.  (If you promise not to tell too many others we are willing to reveal that it started out because it’s usually just too darned cold, snowy, and ice-covered to take them down too soon after Christmas so he figured he might as well look like he knows the story.)   

Both of We remember those days when Christmas came partially assembled.  No matter how hard we and parents all over the world tried, not everything could get assembled before the holiday.  The hope was that the children would be so taken by whatever was assembled they wouldn’t notice the brakeless bike behind the tree.  Uh huh.  Distractions might buy you that extra day but eventually the tools and assembly guides would be share space at the lunch table with the leftover hams, turkeys, and roasts and we and parents all over the world re-opened Santa’s Workshop, South Division come December 26.

 A terrific sentiment for a Christmas card would be “Some friends know the gift of friendship is more important that crass commercialism or material presents.  Aren’t you glad I’m one of them?”  But honestly a good, heartfelt, well thought gift means a lot also.  And we got lots of them.  Enough to gloat even!  But we won’t.  We also got a reminder that for all that we mean to each other, friend is always near the top of that list.  About that we will gloat!

So there are ten days to go to complete the proverbial Twelve Days of Christmas.  According to PNC Financial Services, this year’s total will run one willing to fulfill all of the wishes of his (or her) true love $24,263.18.  Perhaps we’ll just stick with our true love’s friendship.  It really is priceless.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

And the Winner Is…

Michael 1 Comment

Christmas movies…some of the all-time classic movies are Christmas movies.  “White Christmas,” “Miracle on 34th Street,” “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Emmett Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas.”  Well, there’s clearly something for everyone in the Christmas movie catalog.   What’s your favorite?

Those who know say that the number one Christmas movie of all time may be “A Christmas Story.”  And indeed the movie itself can be a ‘major award’ of holiday classic-ism.  There’s no mistaking it for anything but a holiday favorite.  It’s even in the name.  Ditto for “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” and “White Christmas.”  Yes it takes more than putting “Christmas” in the title to make a movie a yuletide hit but it doesn’t hurt.

There are some dark horses out there that you’d not guess from title or plot would ever become holiday favorites but ask anybody who’s personal collection contains a copy of “We’re No Angels” that it’s often the answer to the trivia question, ‘name a Christmas movie starring Humphrey Bogart.’  It also doubles as the answer to the question, ‘name a comedy starring Humphrey Bogart.’  (Didn’t know there was one, of either, did you?)

Comedies and Christmas are a natural combination.  Why not?  Both make you feel good.  “Home Alone” (one or two, we never were real sure about 3) combines tickles and tinsel and still throws in a couple ‘feels so good you want to cry’ moments.  From “Miracle on 34th Street” to “The Santa Clause” comedies have been proving that there really is a Santa, even going to court when necessary.

Christmas and music is almost a requirement.  We finally get to hear Schroeder play his miniature grand in “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and it is grand.  Ok, technically that’s not a movie but it is 25 minutes of sheer holiday joy.   Even movies not about Christmas but set around the Christmas holiday a la “Die Hard” 1 and 2 can’t resist putting a Christmas song somewhere in the mix. 

What about Christmas and the Muppets.  Either one can make any child, and almost any adult squeal delightfully.  Christmas is ahead, there being a little over 2,000 of them but the Muppets are close with over a dozen movies and specials starring Jim Henson’s puppets.  A true classic among them is “Emmett Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas,” Henson’s adaptation of Russell Hoban’s twist on there’s a reason that everything happens as it does.   

And don’t forget about families at Christmas.  “Christmas Vacation,” “Christmas with the Kranks,” “Home Alone,” “A Christmas Story,” and about 4,000 others all have family at the center of the story.  But there might be only one that takes a brother’s unique approach to the holiday and that’s “Fred Claus.”   Without Fred, Santa might not be with us today.  Talk about brotherly love!

Just because we mention certain movies please don’t confuse these with any sort of ‘best of’ list.  Although we put some of these movies near the tops of our respective lists, even we can’t agree on the best of the best of the Christmas classics.  And that’s probably the best thing about holiday movies.  Every time you watch one it might become your favorite for those couple of hours.  Isn’t that really the magic of Christmas?  Every year you see that same ornament in a different light and suddenly it becomes a gem you’re so glad you took out again.  Every year you see those same lights across the street but this year there something special in the way it glistens against the wall.  Every year we try to be our best this time of year even though we know we’re no angels but we’re not Scrooge either.

So what’s your favorite?  Feel free to change your mind tomorrow.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Who’s Naughty, Who’s Nice

Michael Leave a comment

It’s worked for the man in red since he hitched his sleigh to his first magic reindeer.  It’s that famous list.  Who’s naughty?  Who’s nice?  We’ve borrowed that idea.   No, not for who gets coal in their stocking and who gets gift cards.  We’ve taken the big guy’s concept and applied it to our most important holiday list.  Who gets a card, and within that group, who gets what card? 

Actually, Santa has it easy.  You’re good, you make the grade.  You’re bad, better luck next year.  It seems to work for him.  We’re a bit more discriminating.    You see, there are actually two lists.

List #1 is the big one, the discriminator, THE list.  Who’s on and who’s off.   Didn’t talk to us at all last year – no calls, no stop overs, no Friday night dinners?  You’re naughty.  (Exceptions made for Aunt Whatshername in Minnesota.)  Brought out a cup of hot chocolate when you saw us waiting for the AAA a quarter mile from home?  You’re nice.  Used to be a couple last year and aren’t this year and you’re the reason?  You’re naughty.  For life!  Used to be a couple last year and aren’t this year because who used to be the better half turned out as bad as everyone else knew?  You’re nice.  Clueless, but nice.  Haven’t talked to us in 14 years and suddenly you start calling  and inviting us to your club for lunch right after you saw in the paper we hit the lottery?  You’re naughty and so are your children.   And so we continue through last year’s lists separating the nice from the caught, the haughty, and the generally naughty.

List #2 is where we recognize the nicest of the nice.  That’s the Good Cards List.  These are the people for whom we care enough to send the best.  These are the truest allies, the closest relatives, the genuine friends. These are the people you think of when considering which Christmas card sparkling with glitter, rich with real parchment, and with a verse that says exactly what you want to say, will convey that nice has its privileges.  Requires extra postage?  No problem.  If you’ve made the nice half of this list you’re worth it!  Who’s on the other side?  Those not naughty enough to be banished entirely from this season’s greetings but not A-List worthy.  They get the previous year’s end of season special at the dollar store – 4 boxes for a buck, matching envelopes maybe.  These are the relatives 3 states away you keep on your list only because they keep sending to you.  (Exceptions made for Aunt Whatshername in Minnesota.)  These are the neighbors who didn’t call the police after that unfortunate incident at the fish fry with the hot oil and the pile of dry leaves.  These are for the paper carrier (who made the list just because of the entertaining holiday letter but that was a different post).

Naughty or nice?  It’s a powerful responsibility.  Use it wisely.  Face it, at $4.59 a pop you can’t care enough to send the best to everyone!

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

And That’s the Way It Is

Michael Leave a comment

Do you suppose it’s because it comes at the end of year?  Maybe it’s because it’s the one time we actually send real mail to so many people.  Perhaps it’s the only time that we remember we have an aunt in Missouri, no, that’s Mississippi, or somewhere that starts with M and is close to water.  Maine?  For whatever reason, Christmas is the unfortunate time and Christmas Cards the unsuspecting carriers for the dreaded Holiday Letter. 

Holiday Letters themselves are not bad things.  You may recall there was once a time when letter writing was actually the fashion.  Not everything was always communicated in 50 characters or less.  Sometimes we’d write glorious letters, pages long, and get similar responses.  The Holiday Letter was but one of several that would be distributed to friends and relatives throughout the year.

Today the Holiday Letter is often not much more than an excuse for why we never called.  You probably should have called.  You could have called and still written the Holiday Letter.  Then it becomes a bonus for the recipient.  An extra touch that someone actually took time to write.  And that’s nice.

No, the Holiday Letter isn’t a bad thing.  Sometimes a family is too large to keep in touch with every one over the year.  Sometimes there really is too much going on and a common letter to everyone brings all up to date with your happenings.  The Holiday Letter becomes that great orator for the one who just couldn’t get around to all those calls.  And it makes a great conversation starter for when next year’s calls get started.

Of course, sometimes the Holiday Letter can fall into the wrong hands.  Not a wrong recipient – a wrong writer.  Check out your mail this year.  Did you get a “personal letter” from your bank or Congressman, your church or your dog groomer?  Or perhaps from the bank that wants your business, the church on the other side of town, or the pet wash in the new shopping center.  (Sorry, you’re stuck with the same Congressman until next fall.)  It is bad enough that Christmas sales start before Halloween, the Holiday Letter marketing tool can weaken even the strongest spirit of Christmas.

She of We got her annual Holiday Letter from her newspaper carrier.  A little something to the 400 or so families on her route to bring them up to date on her vacations from earlier in the year, her latest plans for retirement, the health of her children and pets, and a reminder to keep those sidewalks and steps ice free during the winter months.  It was homier than the one He of We got from his dentist that described the new x-ray machine and the computerized insurance verification service, and a reminder to call now for an appointment but not for during the first week of March when they’ll be repaving the parking lot.

Nope the Holiday Letter in itself isn’t a bad thing.  But maybe we should be thinking about keeping that down to 50 characters or less also.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

The Angels Have Landed

Michael 1 Comment

All the discount department stores are doing it and they all advertised it in a big way.  Layaway is back.  Just like the old days.  Mostly toys ended up in the back rooms.  Just like the old days.  Maybe a few more children and grandchildren can have a happy Christmas like so many of their friends.  Just like the old days. 

It was a great idea.  But somewhere the marketing people got a late start.  The ads popped up around Thanksgiving.  Put a little down and pay some every week and they are yours pretty much pain-free.  Sounds pretty good.  Just like the old days.  But they didn’t push it until four weeks before Christmas.  That’s only one or two checks away.  Not many weeks to pay some.  Not like the old days.

But people tried.  They made the down payment.  They got the early payments in.  But then reality hit.  There are other children and grandchildren to buy for.  There are still bills to pay and food to buy.  The payments got smaller.  The balance stalled.  Christmas is less than a week away and now what?

Who knows how it started but somewhere, somebody took notice.  And the movement was born.  All across the country mostly anonymous benefactors are paying off strangers’ layaway balances.  The Layaway Angels have come to town.  Every town!

In Davenport, Iowa one Angel paid off 14 accounts including one account so delinquent that it was a day away from its merchandise being put back on the shelves.  In Indianapolis a woman paid off fifty accounts in memory of her late husband.  In Kapolei, Hawaii someone paid off 15 layaway accounts then handed out $100 bills to shoppers.  In Miami two Angels combined their resources to settle as many accounts as $400 could pay off.

Many of us have taken part in another Christmas tradition of giving, the Angel Tree.  Children’s services, older adults’ facilities, inner city ministries, and others team up with churches, school groups, and employers to select from unknown recipients and buy presents for under their tree.  Countless people, probably into the millions, have benefited from these anonymous gifts.

But the Layaway Angels are different.  These people are getting into the grittiest of the nitty-gritty.  They aren’t afraid of going right to the people who need some help.  And they aren’t afraid to admit that those people who need some help live and shop right alongside them.  These gifts are going up the road, across town, two blocks over, down the street.   They are going to people whose faces they’ve seen without knowing who they are.  They are going to children who have cried with longing in stores and who are going to get to squeal with delight at home.

Layaway Angel, Angel Tree, Secret Santa – so many ways to say Merry Christmas to those who aren’t close enough to hear it, but who deserve to hear it spoken loudly.  And if one of you reading is an Angel – Merry Christmas to you, too!

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Picture This

Michael Leave a comment

Are you old enough to remember when the only thing you could do with a phone was talk to someone?  How did we ever do with such a single focused object? 

Everybody who is anybody has a cell phone today.  We’re not certain exactly why they are still called phones.  They can surf the web, they can text back and forth, they house shopping lists and calculators, they are your appointment books and coupon organizers.  And they are cameras!

This is the time of year when shopping heads into the nitty gritty.  Years ago if One of Two needed help with finding the right sweater for the hard to buy for aunt all One could do was find a pay phone, call Two and try to describe the color, shape, and adornments.  Back then if you weren’t certain if the colors in that candy dish would clash with the table runner, you had to buy it and hope you didn’t lose the sales slip.  If you got it home and it didn’t work you were heading back to the store to return it and buy the plain red one instead.

But today, when shopping falls between nitty and gritty we have a helper.  We have our phones.  These little pocket helpers aren’t restricted to Christmas shopping.  She of We reminded He or We while We were preparing this post that when he was looking for a new coffee table he would snap every one he came across in every store he wandered through.  That way he could hold up the 4 inch, 2 dimensional replicas in the space in front of the sofa to see if or how it would work there.  He thought it was a great idea.  And she did also – at the time.  Now you have to understand that was two years ago and there are still 34 coffee table pictures on the SD card but that’s a different blog.

Back to Christmas shopping.  It is still a handy little helper that phone with the camera that takes better pictures than most cameras.  No more will you have an excuse to not get that hard to buy for aunt something in time to put under the tree.  Pull those sweaters out to the end of the rack. Line up the candy dish choices.  Put the tree topper on a clear spot on the shelf.  Put the wreaths side by side.  Snap away and text them to the other half.  But remember, the other half could be out shopping with her phone too!

Nope, they certainly don’t make phones like they used to and isn’t that a terrific thing?

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Family Ties

Michael Leave a comment

Today is a special day.  She of We is taking a big step helping her son take control of his own business and continue along his “path of life.”  He of We is watching his daughter graduate from college on her first steps on her “path of life.”  And with just a week before Christmas with cards yet to be done, presents yet to be bought, and cookies yet to be baked, everyone else will have to wait their turn and that’s life.  Families first!

One of the reasons we began this blog was the increasingly ridiculous way reality was depicted on television and the increasingly maddening way normal people were accepting TV reality for real reality.  Where un-retouched perfect people surmounted unscripted unreal obstacles to become unbelievably more perfect every week.  Where families of twenty-eight made your family look like the poster children for dysfunction.  Where nobody seemed to work but everybody seemed to have everything they wanted.  Everybody said they knew those unscripted candid moments were rehearsed and the tear caught in the corner of his/her/their eye was tricky make-up but that’s life.  Fame first!  

But didn’t everybody just envy the heck out of them and want to be just like them?  Well, we didn’t.  And we still don’t. 

We know we aren’t perfect and sometimes our families really can be the poster children for dysfunctional.  And work – sheesh!  But we also know that bad things are always going to be there and we don’t have a script to see how it works out so we better be strong enough to deal with it – that’s life.  We also know that the good stuff really can be so good that it brings tears to our eyes and we better be strong enough to deal with it – that’s life!  So this year, during the most impossible week to stay organized, while work piles up at work, and there’s no way we’ll ever get everything done at home, we’re stopping our worlds for just a bit to celebrate our reality.

Since we aren’t on television we better tell what our reality is like.  There’s laundry to be done and bathrooms to be cleaned.  We go to work at least 5 days a week and we have fun when we can fit it in.  The bills come faster than the money. We get headaches.  There’s never enough time but we always make time.  And today is special day.  Just like tomorrow’s today.  And the today after that.  And that one, too.

What a great Christmas gift.  Anybody know where we can get some wrap to fit that?

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Is It Live or…

Michael 1 Comment

This weekend was the weekend after Thanksgiving and we were out on the road, but not for a big after Thanksgiving shopping spree.  No Black Friday deals for us.  But out we were and there were stores visited, restaurants patronized, the public encountered, and stories to be told.

We could talk about how traffic laws in our state seem to have become traffic suggestions, and not very well taken suggestions.  But that’s a rant for another day.  We could talk about how waiters, waitresses, and bartenders no longer associate the term “service industry” with their chosen (or fallen into) profession.  But that’s another rant for another day.  We could even talk about how somewhere in between “May I help you?” and “Happy Holidays!” this year’s crop of shoppers and clerks are ruder than we’ve seen for quite a few years.  But that’s a big rant for a special day. 

Today we’re going to talk about that never ending holiday controversy, live or artificial.  On a day that begins its date with “November,” cars with live trees tied to their roofs began their journeys to becoming kindling.  But this year the thought of how many stories will play out on the evening news featuring smoldering Douglas fir takes on a special meaning.  She of We will have that rare parental event looked forward to from the time her youngest one plopped his first ornament on the lowest of the branches and left it there precariously close to the paws and jaws of the family pets.  This year, Son of She of We gets to decorate his very own house for his very own first Christmas.

And so we debated.  Live trees smell good.  Wet charcoal does not.  Pre-lit artificial trees completely fulfill that designation only for Year One of its proclaimed 20 year lifespan.  Detangling lights and discovering new and colorful curse words is a rite of passage best experienced with past years’ dried sap transforming three or more bulbs into a bulb mass.  Live trees need watered every day and there is no graceful way to crawl under the long, low hanging branches with a plastic bowl of water stretching to reach the reservoir into which the tree has become permanently attached (note for tree removal day).  Live trees don‘t need watered daily if one owns an old male dog who can’t hold his water until you get home from work.  (Live trees smell good.  Dog drenched carpet does not.)   Live trees come in thousands of shades of green found only in nature.  Artificial trees come in light green, dark green, and pink.  Artificial tree branches can be re-arranged so every ornament, no matter size or shape, can be placed exactly where you want it.  Live tree branches bend, release, and fling your Lenox collectible ornament through three rooms before smashing into the curio cabinet filled with the Swarovski crystal collection.

Did we resolve the debate?  Can two people who are dodging speeding drivers in search of big bargains list all of the pros and cons of live versus artificial?  No, it will take thousands of trips over many years to complete the list.  Until then, feel free to take your own side of the debate and decorate with whatever best reflects your style and family life.  But please do us a favor.  If you’re planning on live, remember that a cut flower cannot live in a vase for 5 weeks.  A live tree cut from its roots and left in a cup of water won’t last that long either.  Don’t be a newscast waiting to happen.  Keep your tree fed, watered, and happy.  If you’re planning on artificial, remember that just because you can erect one in each room and mount thousands of lights on them that you still risk tripped circuits and melted plastic – hot, fire prone melted plastic.  Don’t be a newscast waiting to happen.  The only smoke anyone should see on Christmas Eve is from the stump of the pipe held in Santa’s teeth while encircling his head just like a wreath.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Love and Dysfunction

Michael 1 Comment

Ah, the holidays are coming.  It doesn’t matter what holiday, there’s going to be a sale to celebrate it, a parade to commemorate it, a special computer search engine page to recognize it, and fireworks to cap it off.  Except  Thanksgiving.

Poor Thanksgiving has gotten squeezed out.  In the real world it seems that Thanksgiving is the signal to begin work on our Christmas projects.  Christmas decorations go up the weekend after Thanksgiving, Christmas cookies get baked and frozen the weekend after Thanksgiving, Christmas card lists are reviewed and amended the Sunday after Thanksgiving, Christmas party invitations are sent the day after Thanksgiving, and Christmas shopping starts at midnight Thanksgiving evening. 

But in world of television and movies, Thanksgiving is holding its own!  Steve Martin and John Candy celebrated the lengths that one will go through to be with family on Thanksgiving, even driving halfway across country alternately in a burned out car and the trailer half of a tractor-trailer combination.   If it weren’t for Thanksgiving we might never know how enamored Al Pacino became with hoo-hah and that it’s ok to want to punch out your dinner guest.  You will never forget WKRP’s Mr. Carlson covered in feathers declaring in all seriousness, “As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”  And it’s ok to admit that you wish every year that you could be sitting down to a feast of toast and popcorn if Snoopy is serving it.

They tell us that Thanksgiving is for families and friends to gather, to be thankful they are still friends and family.  It’s a time to reflect on the year’s accomplishments, vacations, fun weekends, and all that went into getting almost all the way through another year.  Isn’t it funny that one of the most enduring images of the most American of holidays is as dysfunctional as mistaking turkeys for birds of flight?

Thanksgiving isn’t a time to celebrate another year travelled on the perfect path to great successes.  You want perfection, go to New York and watch the faux musicals re-enacted on 34th Street.  You want a celebration, be at our table.  There’ll be talk about the failures, the never ending projects, the worked weekends, and all that we still have in front of us before this year is over.  And our most endearing image will be of everyone as loving as Charlie Brown is to his friends always wanting to do something special for them, always failing but always part of the inner circle. 

Welcome to our table of love and dysfunction!  It’s ok.  They really do go together.  If it wasn’t for the one, we’d never try to extend ourselves risking the other.  And if it wasn’t for the other, we’d never truly appreciate the one.  They go together like friends and family, joy and happiness, and toast and popcorn.  There’s always room for more, there’s always enough love for extras, and there’s always just enough wrong to give real thanks for the right.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?