Bloody Hell

It’s nice to have memories. Pictures are good reminders of things fun times and people. Certificates bring back the pride of recognition. Scars are my reminders of usually something stupid I did.

Last week I was reminded of a scar as I was conversing with a friend. She had mentioned the previous night, actually early that morning, unusual activity in the house across the street from her. Lights were on at a time they shouldn’t have been and cars were in the driveway that shouldn’t have been. Immediately my mind went to activity at my house that shouldn’t have been.

I once ended up in the emergency room seven stitches to close a cut that I got from walking into a cardboard box. I don’t know why nobody could understand how a piece of cardboard sliced my leg open so efficiently that I had left a trail of blood from the living room through the dining room into the kitchen where it collected into a pool of blood rivaling what one usually finds beneath a freshly slaughtered chicken. And I use that animal as the example because I was scared like the proverbial chicken not just at the thought that I might die of massive blood loss on a newly laid kitchen floor while all the sharp objects lay safely nestled in their holders, but that if I lived long enough for someone to try to close that gash it was going to involve other sharp objects like scrapers and needles and undoubtedly a tetanus shot. Maybe it wasn’t a chicken I was channeling as much as a scaredy cat.

What happened that one morning I was up early roaming the house with only the light coming through the windows to guide me. There wasn’t much light because it just shortly after five in the morning but it was an August morning so full sunrise wasn’t that far away. Besides I had gone down that hall to the living room for 29 years and I was certain where to step. Except this was that period of time between having a contract to sale the house and actually moving out and closing on the deal. More specifically it was at the moving out stage and that’s why there were boxes hither and yon. One of the ones in yon was right next to my chair where I had planned to plop myself and watch the morning news. As I rounded the bend I walked into the box catching a top corner with the outside of my leg and I knew immediately I had done something unpleasant. I knew immediately because that’s how long it took for me to feel blood running down my leg.

TheBoxI thought at first it was just a scratch and I started a hobble back down the hall to the bathroom to wash and dress it. Then I saw how much blood covered my hand when I brought it back up from checking what I’d done. I altered course for the nearer kitchen sink and by the time I got there I had left a trail Dracula could have sniffed out from his home in Transylvania. I grabbed a towel and tied it around my leg, grabbed the phone, called my daughter for help, and went back to apply as much pressure as I could to the outside of my leg.

I should mention that all this was happening about 8 weeks after I got out of the hospital for the marathon four month stay and probably hadn’t the strength to apply sufficient pressure to stop a paper cut. By the time my daughter got to the house I looked like the victim of a mugging. I was on the floor with my leg elevated on the lower rung of a kitchen stool. I was whiter than the towel that continued to get redder. I held the phone in one hand trying to dial 911 with just that hand while the other was feebly twisting said kitchen towel around my calf. Between the calling of the daughter and her arrival I decided we weren’t going to be able to staunch this flow and navigate our way to the required help ourselves and opted for professional assistance.

Not much later were in the ER, an IV running to replace my lost fluids, a clean dressing covering my first stitches not associated with surgery, and awaiting the dreaded tetanus shot, we discussed where to go for breakfast. It was after all still morning and my kitchen was busy doing its imitation of a crime scene. Not much gets between me and food.

So that’s what I thought of when my friend had seen activity in the early hours across the street and as I ran my hand over the scar on my lower leg I wondered what my neighbors might have thought on my unusually active morning.

Incidentally, if you ever want to get the front of the line at an emergency room, show up in an ambulance and bleeding.

Calling 911

We are very grateful to the many emergency service employees out there.  Without the police, fire fighters, EMTs, and other crisis responders we really would be in a crisis.  But every now and then we have to wonder how they get through a day without being mistaken for normal people just like us.

We started wondering about this a couple days ago when a news report flashed on a police cruiser dangling over a bridge guiderail like the cartoon versions we’ve seen so often waiting for a bird to land on the half of the car hovering over nothing but air.  How did they get that way?  The good news is that even though the police officers had to climb out through a window, a quick stop at a nearby emergency room confirmed nothing was hurt more than their egos.

Speaking of emergency rooms, He of We was at a stop sign ready to pull out into traffic on the main street when an ambulance, without lights but moving quickly enough that one would pause to make sure it passed by without challenge, passed by.  It wasn’t until it was all the way by that it revealed its rear doors open and swinging with every bend in the road.  It eventually rolled its way out of sight so we aren’t sure if somewhere somebody pointed out the unsecured door.  We’re certain it was empty when it started that run.  Yes, certainly certain.

Then there was the fire truck flashing its many red lights yet rolling somewhat slowly down a city side street, a helmeted head sticking out of the passenger side window of the forward cab looking for all the world like he was looking for an address.  The faint wiff of smoke rising from a car in the next block finally got someone’s attention as the engine sped up and moved to task. 

And surely someone would be along shortly to assist the tow truck on the side of the road with its hood up in the universal sign of “somebody call the wife and tell her I’m going to be late for dinner.”

We guess they all really do put their pants on one leg at a time.  Even the uniform pants.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?