Tag Driving

You think your commute is challenging

Michael Leave a comment

The weather forecasters are saying it will be chilly this weekend, somewhere between 25 and 30 degrees colder than the first half of this week and only 8 degrees above freezing during the daytime. That will probably be a better time to take the little car out for a spin than in clear, 70 degree, sunshiney weather.

If you’ve been reading for a while you know I have a little red convertible that gets about as much use as you would imagine in an area where the average temperature is 52 degrees F and it rains or snows almost 150 days a year. But when the sun comes out the top goes down and I understand the true meaning of the phrase “worth the wait.” Right up until some guy with more testosterone than brains spots me.

I went out in the middle of the day when the real men with huge pick-up trucks riding on 28 inch wheels with massive brush guards, multiple running lights, and chrome steps to get into the cab should have been at work doing something involving torches and welders’ masks and comparing tattoos. But no, there was one about ¾ mile behind me when I slipped onto the onramp of the local expressway. I heard him, or rather his mufflerless behemoth, snarling up behind me. He closed that ¾ mile before I made it all the way to the end of the acceleration ramp and in his desire to make certain I knew he had more horsepower at his disposal than I did, he passed me on the single lane ramp and launched himself onto the highway mainline. Right in front of another mini-monster truck a few miles per hour above the speed limit. It was a spectacular sight in my rear view mirror. You could almost see their premiums going up.

I pulled onto the shoulder and waited until I saw that both of the not quite matured miscreants were moving about on their own power and then eased back into traffic and continued on my spring shake-out tour. You would think I’d have been shocked at the carnage (or trucknage if you prefer) and I was the first time or two such craziness happened. Unfortunately this goes on every year when I, and presumably everyone else with a weekend roadster, first hit the road.

In a month or so the craziness will wane perhaps because the crazy mongers become used to seeing us on the road again or perhaps because they run out of clean underwear.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

(Yes, I know this is St. Patrick’s Day and I didn’t say anything about that in my post. Monday was Pi Day and I didn’t bring that up then either. I’m not totally predictable.) (Am I?)

 

So They Say

Michael 1 Comment

Some things I think we need to think about.

Driving down the road I came upon a sign that read “Airport 10” alerting me that I was a mere 10 miles from the local airport. About a mile down the road I came upon a sign that read “Airport 10” alerting me that something was wrong here! But what was it that was wrong? Was it the distance to the airport? Was it the selected sign? Was there a flaw in the road? Had I driven through some time/space continuum and will forever be 10 miles from the airport? Or it from me? Or perhaps it was a sign. We probably need a conspiracy theorist for that one.

If that was confusing there are others out there just as confusing. Farther along that same road there is a restaurant. I hesitate to specify the type of restaurant because the sign doesn’t make it very clear. Below the restaurant name is the legend “Japanese Chinese Bistro.” None of those go together! That’s like calling a restaurant a Spanish Danish Deli. I imagine because the cultures were specifically kept separate that it is not a fusion restaurant but one where there is a menu of Japanese offerings, another of Chinese offerings, all presented in a European casual dining atmosphere.

Heading down a different road I was approaching another restaurant in search of its being. This one isn’t looking for an ethnic identity; it’s looking for what it wants to be when it grows up. It wants to be a fine dining establishment but it is more of a slightly overpriced not quite up enough upscale brasserie. At the end of its drive, the owner had a new sign erected, large enough to be seen at 45 miles per hour. And it says, “Try Our New Lite 5 Course Menu.” I think of light (or lite) as a salad and smallish delicate entrée. I suppose if you can successfully lighten up five courses you can charge the world for it. And they do.

And yet farther along the drive I passed a beer distributor. Mind you, unless that earlier drive through the space/time thingy really screwed things up, it is still August. But the big sign in front of the beer shop proclaimed the arrival of this year’s first bottling of pumpkin beer. And I thought the grocery stores with the Halloween candy displays were rushing the season. If we’re dong pumpkin beer before school even starts will we be doing egg nog for Columbus Day? Or perhaps a summer shanty for New Years.

Sometimes things just don’t all add up. Remember that the next time someone says to you, “They say…”

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Drive By

Michael Leave a comment

It’s been over two years since we posted anything about people driving their cars into buildings. (See Drive Through Service, Drive Through Part Two, Drive Around Please, and Drive On.) And there is a good reason for that.  When we started that little series it was almost cute the things drivers were getting themselves into. But lately it’s been tragic.

For at least the past year there has been a car driven into a home or business at least once a week with horrible consequences. Cars, trucks, and big rigs have plowed into doctors’ offices, hairdressers, fast food restaurants, convenience stores, banks, a do-nut shop, and private homes. Each time, someone has been injured and buildings have been rendered uninhabitable. One intrusion resulted in a fatality.

Some of the collisions might have been caused by snow-covered, icy, or wet roads, but many of them happened in 70 degree, dry,calm weather.  When is wasn’t dry or calm, the drivers should have taken extra care.

So they haven’t been fun, haven’t been innocuous, haven’t even been cute. Why bring it up again? As a reminder to please be careful out there. Just because a car’s speedometer goes up to 120 mph is no reason to try and get there. Just because your phone is ringing doesn’t mean the caller won’t be there when you’re parked. And just because they zoom about in the commercials they really mean it when the put those teeny words across the bottom of the screen that say “Professional driver, do not attempt.”

Take your time, keep alert for hazards in the road, and hang around as long as you can. We want you to be reading us for a long time.

That’s what I think, How ’bout you?

No Means Why Not

Michael Leave a comment

Jerry Seinfeld once said that the only warning label people really pay attention to is “Dry Clean Only.”  He has a point.  Just about everything else we are told not to do we do and do it with gusto.  If you take a warning label, put it on steroids, turn the fabric to metal, and hang it on a pole along the side of the road you get those big warning signs.  They don’t have anywhere near the impact of “Dry Clean Only.”

Perhaps it’s because we got back to real winter weather.  Perhaps it’s because all of the stars lined up just right and all of the blind, nearly blind, and soon to be blind-sided were out driving at the same time.  Perhaps it’s because so many people take traffic laws as suggestions.  For whatever reason, yesterday was not a day to be out driving in the local business district.

There are some “No” traffic laws that are never going to be heeded.  No passing on right.  No turns from shoulder.  No lane changing in tunnel.   Most people do them and get away with them without much problem.  There are other “No” laws that are to be heeded because they are more vital to life.  They usually involve aiming the car at a point that crosses traffic and that traffic is usually high speed and busy not paying attention to its own warnings.  No left turn.  No U turn.  No turn on red.  Yesterday was the day that for every “No” the signs said there was a driver saying “Oh yes I can.”

It’s along one span of a quite large business route that there are traffic lights every 500 feet or so.  Shopping centers, malls, clusters of stores and restaurants, and car dealerships line both sides of the 4 or 5 mile stretch of roadway.  To keep unnecessary traffic out of these various shopping areas’ parking lots, most of the lights permit U-turns.  But then, most of the road is only 2 lanes in either direction.  At the two lights where the road expands to 4 lanes each way the lights are clearly signed “No U Turn.”  At both of these there were cars literally lined up to reverse their courses rather than travel the quarter-mile to the next legal switching point.  At both of these the cars were still lined up after at one intersection the U-Turning car was struck by another and at the second the U-Turning car crossed two lanes of traffic and did half a donut to avoid being struck by a car bearing down on him.

Along a different road there are two “No Left Turn” intersections that, if permitted, would require the turning car to pass in front of three lanes of uncontrolled oncoming traffic.  At the first of these I had to stop while not one, not two, but three of the four cars ahead prepared to make an unlawful left turn.  To be safe about it, they all had their turn signals on.  At the second of these there was only one car making its illegal turn.  That car was a police car.

There just isn’t enough space to detail all of the No Turn on Red turns but one was absolutely spectacular.  That will be a post for another day.

There was no indication of how many of these scofflaws needed to have something dry cleaned.  By the end of the day, I did.

Now that’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Good Things, Small Spaces

Michael 2 Comments

“They” say good things come in small packages.  One of these days “they” are going to have to identify themselves so we can discuss these edicts!  Either that or provide comprehensive definitions per platitude.  Is a small place also akin to a small package?

Now don’t get me wrong, small spaces can be, and quite often are, fun.  Take the little red car.  It’s tons of fun.  Nothing beats top down driving on a cool fall day with the leaves falling around you – sometimes even on you.  But let’s be honest:  you sit right on top of the transmission so it’s hot even on the coldest day, the clutch has made a noise like a doggie squeeze toy since the day it was new, and speaking of the clutch and transmission it shifts harder than you’d think for a car that’s powered by an engine the size of a sewing machine.  But it’s more fun than any other means of transportation except perhaps the Orient Express in Ms. Christie’s most vivid imagination.

So what started these thoughts of the good and not so good of small spaces?  Last week I was at the hospital having some tests done.  Of course they were all scheduled for before the sun came up and after a few hours of poking, prodding, and internal picture taking, nature’s call was getting loud.

Restrooms in this hospital group’s buildings try to simulate the home setting.  There aren’t many of them and the ones available to the public are single seaters with cheerful wall paper, soft lighting, and normal sinks.  But in this home-style oasis, in a nod to minimizing cross contamination, everything is touchless.  Motion activated light switch, towel dispenser, soap dispenser, faucet, and toilet flusher live harmoniously with the faux marble and travertine tiles.

What could possibly be the down side of downsizing a public lavatory to the size of a homey bathroom?  Only the size.  It was so small that every time I moved in there something else did too:  paper towels rolled, soap splattered into the sink, and the toilet ran more than a long distance runner training for a marathon.  Everything took automatic to a whole new level, except for the faucet.  Being an offspring of those mounted to the rows of sinks in most major airports, it required me to just about climb into the sink before giving up any water.

But the thought was a good one.  And you know what?  Sometimes even when the not so good tips the scale way to its side, the good still wins.

Passages of Fall

Michael 1 Comment

Over the past week He of We noticed fallen leaves in yards while meandering through the neighborhood on his afternoon walk, She of We talked about getting her garden ready for next Spring’s plantings, Daughter of He contemplated buying new snow tires, and stores everywhere have Halloween candy out.  All of them are sure signs Fall is soon here.  But the surest sign of Fall to come isn’t any of these, it isn’t the shortened days and cooler nights, it isn’t the model year end clearance sales on the car lots.  Nope, the surest sign of the next season coming right around the corner is the Covered Bridge Festival!

Yes, there are still covered bridges in the country.  In use even.  Up in our corner of the country there are two neighboring counties that have a combined festival every year right at the start of Fall.  If you have the kind of time we did some years ago and wanted to make a quest of it, you can drive up to and over 30 of the covered bridges spanning (no pun intended) nearly 90 miles of quiet, rural roadway.  (It’s a perfect way to end the convertible season, although if you’ve read us for a while you’ve read posts that make it clear that we never really end convertible season.  But that’s a different story for a different day.)  At 17 of those bridges there will be vendors selling their autumnal decorations, local food booths, singers, dancers and other entertainers, chain saw carvers, quilt makers, and artists in almost every medium.

So why are we so excited over what seems to be just a giant craft show spread over 1,400 square miles?  Like most things we like there are the people.  Some of the most talented people display their talents at the bridges and nowhere else.  Others who are at other arts festivals actually get to spend time with visitors in a more relaxed setting.  Even though it is only 20 or so miles from home there are foods, sights, and sounds we only see the one day a year that we get to the bridges.  And if we miss a year, when the following year rolls around and the dates get closer, the anticipation grows even stronger.

It’s not so much that the Covered Bridges are from a simpler time.  In fact, they are from a harder time.  If we had a choice of trying to make a living in 1814 or 2014 we pick now.  But they are from a sturdier time.  These are bridges built in the early to mid 1800’s and they still work.  And most of the things that we’ve bought in their shadows still work too.  There’s an endorsement, even for a decoration.

And it’s always a great day to take a ride in the woods – and know we can’t get lost!

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

Multi-tasking To Go

Michael Leave a comment

We suppose the current politically correct term is distracted driving, but some people do it so effortlessly they consider it an asset rather than the liability that we as innocent bystanders see. It was only a few days ago that She of We saw what has become the new benchmark that bystanders throughout our city will be on the lookout for.

We don’t like to make excuses and the fault quite heavily lies on the doer, but the car manufacturer may be responsible for some of the odd behavior we see during each day’s rush hours.  If it wasn’t for tilt steering wheels it would be more difficult for someone to spread the morning paper out before himself to read on the way to work.  Yes, every morning He of We is passed at about the same spot on the highway by a man guiding his little Lincoln while eschewing the radio version of the news so he can read all about it.  Fortunately (?) he just reads and doesn’t attempt the crossword puzzle.  Smooth rides, cruise control, and lighted vanity mirrors make make-up application, though not new, popular.  They also facilitate a close shave (in more ways than one) on the way to work in the morning.  Texting might be an issue for the teen drivers but the over-achievers make use of the generous center consoles on which to mount their notebooks and laptops to extend their workdays.  On their slower days you can see them returning e-mails on their tablets giving the heavy workload some time off.

So none of that is particularly new and we and you certainly have seen much similar activity.  What could it have been that She spotted that was so out of the ordinary that it would actually prompt this discussion?  Well…………

The latest, the newest, the most unusual of all rush hour driving activities seen to date (drum roll please – and that would be very appropriate) is driving through town while playing a clarinet.  Yes, the full size woodwind, made famous by the likes of Goodman, Shaw, and Fountain, in the hands of one also using his hands to steer his minivan through downtown traffic.

It gives new meaning to the concept of “Swing!”

That’s what we think.  Really.  How ’bout you.

 

Too Much of a Good Thing

Michael Leave a comment

Don’t you just love it when one of life’s questions finally gets answered?  When that thing that has never been at the forefront of thought but always hovering around the subconscious is finally resolved? When you can finally say, “Oh, yeah.”

Both of We have three children.  All three of the Little We’s are in their 20’s, gainfully if not ideally employed, with their own cars, clothes, gym memberships, monthly bills, and spending money.  Three children, two families, one burning life’s question.  Do we do too much for our children?  Sit back and let us tell you She of We’s story.

Number Two Son of She was at the airport.  Just a matter of days ago he was flying west to embark on a weekend away as young ones are now so inclined to do to visit strange cities where the strange inhabitants have a curious habit of dying their river a strange green.  But that’s a tale for a different day.  This one begins and ends at the airport.  Our airport.  The departing city.

This story began several trips ago that Number Two Son of She takes with some regularity.  They are almost always by plane and almost always end up with him missing the last leg of his journey leaving whoever (three guesses) was assigned to collect him at the local airport stranded at the airport.  But it was a habit and one that that seemed would forever end with whomever (three guesses) stranded at the airport or waiting for the call that he is finally about to board a plane home and would be there sometime within the hour or two.  So it wasn’t that He of We would not have expected Son of She to be calling She of We, but not so soon.

But sooner rather than later the call did come and with it came our life’s question, do we do too much for our children. A call that began sort of innocently with a seeming innocent question.  Did She of We have Son of She’s spare car key?  No, but why?

It seemed that after years of explaining, rationalizing, cajoling, complaining, and persuading, She of We convinced Son of She to drive himself to the airport and deposit his car in one of the long term parking lots ($8.00 per day, no hourly rate).  So convinced was Son of She that he actually discovered another traveler among his friends to the very same destination for the very same duration and offered him a ride to and from the airport.  Presumably for the low price of $4.00 per day.  No hour rate.  And off for the airport they set, their sights set on the gate labeled Extended Parking.  They must have not set their sights so high as to see the overhead sign not reading Extended Parking, rather they entered the parking mecca at the gate labeled Short Term Parking ($2.50 per hour, maximum daily rate $25.00).

Yes, he finally was convinced.  Son of She, finally convinced that he could drive himself to the airport did just so, and shortly after his arrival there made the call to She of We.  It was the call from the airport relating this very tale.  But the tale was not told just for its entertainment value.  It concluded with a request for her to drive 20-some miles to the airport with his spare key so that she could move his car into one of the long term lots that she had so often spoke of. And shortly thereafter was the call from She of We to He of We with that question, do we do too much for our children?

Do we?  Daughter of He still lives at home in the very room she shared with her childhood stuffed animals.  And is still sharing.  Number One Son of She resides in a second house of hers that could be rental income but is serving much better as Son Cave as he manages his own growing contracting company.  Number Two Son of She recently purchased his own house, able to convince the mortgager that he was good for it because he is one of the gainfully employed, his gainful employment at the favor calling of She of We who realized long before he what kind of job he would otherwise land with an undergraduate political science degree.

And still they ask.  And still do we.  Do we do too much for our children?  For the record, She of We did not make that journey yet we still wonder.  And we wonder that it is a wonder that someone thought it was quite reasonable even just to ask.  And there probably is the answer.  Maybe.  Possibly. Sort of.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Drive On

Michael 1 Comment

It’s been a few months now.  Actually it was last October.  It was then that we wrote the most recent installment of cars driving into buildings, a phenomenon happening so regularly we can’t miss it.  If you’re thinking you must have missed it, you didn’t.  We never got around to posting that one.  Something else more blogworthy must have come up.  Then we took another look at it and it and found something else instead. Then something else.  Then Thanksgiving.  Then Christmas.  Before we knew it, it have gotten moved into the “unposted” folder and just sat around. And since then we’ve actually not thought much at all about cars being driven willy and nilly into buildings.  Until yesterday. 

Oh buildings were still being assailed by cars.  Some were little taps into a door frame.  Some we quite spectacular and took out entire corners of buildings.  And then there was yesterday.

Yesterday there was this perfectly innocent building, sitting along a perfectly picture perfect downtown main street.  So perfect a main street it is that it is named Main Street.  And along that street were stores you don’t see much along main streets lately.  There is an insurance agency with just a couple of agents always handy, a deli-style sandwich shop where everybody knows your name, a florist with real flowers in real vases and a carnation for you, a real estate office with pictures of houses for sale taped to the inside of the front window, and up until yesterday, a chiropractic office manned by Dr. C., of course.  Now gone is the building façade.  Gone is the receptionist’s desk.  Gone is the waiting room.  Gone is most everything in the front half of the building.  Fortunately the driver responsible for doing all that did it along about 8:30 at night, long after everyone in the office had themselves gone.

So why such a big deal over such a little office along such a little street in such a little town?  We’ve written about big buildings getting plowed into by big trucks.  We even wrote about an airport getting in the way of a crazy lady on a mission.  So now we’re up to some 350 words about that little office along a little street in a little town. But it’s special. It’s She of We’s town.  And it’s her Main Street and her deli and and her florist and her buildings.  These are people she knows. 

Now it’s not just an interesting topic to post for you to read.  It’s not trying to figure out how many building assaults per how many days. Now when we pose just how distracted does a driver have to be to not notice a two story, glass front, brick and mortar building getting bigger and bigger in the windshield it’s a building that we’ve seen, driven past, walk by, pointed to.    

We know we aren’t the only ones to know a building that has come under attack.  In the Buffalo NY area, petitions began circulating calling for guard rails around buildings at street level for goodness sake!  But now She of We enters the elite club of not only knowing buildings that have been disrupted by drunk, disorderly, or distracted drivers.  She knows the people in that building too.

Where will it end?  Last year in our metro area almost 100 times did the cars and trucks run through mortar and glass.  We stopped counting at the end of the year.  We still noticed them.  We pointed them out on the news. We just didn’t pay attention to them.  Until yesterday.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

Look Here

Michael Leave a comment

Last week She of We was in an accident.  A car accident.  She’s fine.  You can’t really say she had an accident because her car was the innocent bystander. So we guess you have to say she was in an accident.  Nothing terrible.  Not even hardly bad.  But an accident none the less.  An accident caused by . . . distracted driving.

No, she wasn’t hit by anybody writing or reader a text message.  And there was no building involved.  Regular readers know we have been chronicling the ongoing incidents of vehicular buildingcide.  See Drive Through Service, Drive Through Part Two, and Drive Around Please while we continue to gather information for our fourth installment.  But we digress.

She of We was in an accident caused by distracted driving.  She was at a stop at the end of an exit ramp from one of the interstates leading into town when a lady rammed her SUV into the back of She’s SUV.  How did she not notice a two ton black vehicle in broad daylight at a complete stop in front of her?  She (the rammer) was rooting about for loose change to give to the homeless chap panhandling at the end of the ramp.

It seems the rammer lives not far from that exit and may see the vagabond on a regular basis.  Knowing he would be at his post with his cardboard sign, she wanted to be ready to toss him some change.  We said She of We wasn’t hit by anybody driving while texting but looking for change is just as distracted.

The next time you are in your driveway, with your car turned off, time yourself to see how long it takes to look toward your cupholder and determine if there is any change in it.  One second?  Two?  Three?  Let’s say 2 seconds.  At 60 miles per hour your car would have traveled 176 feet in two seconds.  That’s 11 times the length of a Chevy Impala, 12 times that of a Toyota Camry, almost 15 times the length of a Mini Cooper.  In two seconds you would have driven over half the length of a football field and never seen any of it.

There are some pretty good public service announcements out there about not texting while driving but you have to remember that’s not the only way you can become distracted.  Remember that the next time you are dialing your phone because you haven’t set up your voice dial yet, checking the display on your satellite radio, or reading the bumper sticker on the car in the lane next to you.

She of We wasn’t hurt when the distracted driver drove into her rear bumper.  Don’t you become the next distracted driver to get to say “thank goodness you’re not hurt.”

That’s not a bad public service announcement.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?