Tag Decorations

What Faux Fall Flora Wrought

Michael 6 Comments

We are almost half way through September which means if you haven’t yet, you soon are going to be too late to buy any of the good Halloween decorations. I was thinking about this last weekend when I was taking stock of my meager faux fall flora for my coffee table and front door. I like fall. I like the colors. I like the calmness that seems to fall upon fall mornings. But except for fun size candy bars, I’m not so much into Halloween.

Apparently I didn’t get the memo. Last year Americans spent over $9 million on Halloween decorations. Right around 9,100,000 dollars according to The Balance e-zine. They went on to say that is because it’s an economical holiday and people “are willing to spend money on something if it provides a lot of value. Halloween does that.” I guess they didn’t see the $14 hairy spider at Big Lots. Or maybe they did and their idea of value is different from mine.

FauxFallFloraIf you crunch some numbers and divide this into that, that being how many people claim to celebrate Halloween with more than spiked cider and this being that 9 million figure, you come up with a spend of about $86 per person. I’ve spent that much on a nativity set and I have well over 50 of them. (Really. Some people are into hairy spiders, I’m into nativities. I have them, many complete with wise men, made of clothes pins, cheesecloth, corn husks, ceramic, glass, plastic, straw, bronze, wood (carved, sculpted, machine cut and assembled, hinged, and nested), bronze, stone, steel, marble, paper, wool and rubber, sawn from barn board, and cut out of paper.) It’s what I do for Christmas so I can’t say if you want to eighty-some bucks on Halloween you’re nuts. But if you’re planning on spending eighty-some bucks on Halloween, you’re nuts! Except for the little candy bars. Those are cool.

Anyway…just yesterday I was going through my email and I came across a headline “Ugly Halloween Sweaters Were Made For People Who Are Too Lazy to Dress Up.” Well, I couldn’t pass up that piece of bait and I clicked away. What I discovered is, like ugly Christmas sweaters, the ugly Halloween sweaters really aren’t. This is just my opinion but that opinion is that they are kind of cute. The other thing I discovered is that somebody’s going to have to revise that $86 per person spending estimate. Those sweaters go for about $40 per.

For myself, I’m sticking with the faux fall flora. Maybe I’ll spend my $86 on another manger scene this Christmas.

 

Making the Case for Glitter Free Decorating

Michael 1 Comment

You all know I am just out of the hospital a few days now. I was out only a few hours when I discovered that my fingertips shimmered in the dark. No, it wasn’t some reaction to a drug I was given. It wasn’t a remnant of some procedure done. No, it was glitter. Glitter. That shimmery, flaky stuff that adorns cards, bows, wreaths, probably even some brands of toothpaste for all I know. Oh how I hate glitter.

While protected under the blanket of sterility and cleanliness of the hospital I was able to enjoy a couple of weeks knowing my immediate environs were blissfully glitter-free. Then I got better. I was released to the world overrun with those sparkly specks. Oh how I hate glitter.

Why do I so hate glitter? First consider that I too recognize the prettiness of light twinkling from multiple surfaces. I just wish one of those surfaces wasn’t me! Once I come into contact with glitter it is with me forever. I can’t wipe it off. I can’t blow it off. It doesn’t wash off, scrape off, or soak off. It doesn’t even loofah off. Glitter on me is like iron filings on a magnet.

I think we need to establish some glitter rules. First, no surprise glitter. If I see a glitter gilded wreath on a door I will gladly climb through a window to get into that house. But if you send me a glittery card in a plain, white envelope – that’s just not fair. Second, manufacturers of shiny objects must identify the presence and level of glitter used in the making of said sheen. And third, stores, particularly card and home good shops, must provide a glitter free zone for glitter magnetic consumers.

I’m sure working together we can have a glitter free society where sparkly prettiness and good mental health can coexist.

That’s what I think. Really. How ’bout you.

Gilding the Lily

Michael Leave a comment

With less than a handful of days until Easter Sunday I saw my first lily yesterday. I was wondering what became of them. Lilies at Easter are like poinsettias at Christmas. The day can go on without them but they would be missed.

Even though I live alone and my most frequent visitors are the mailman and the UPS driver, I still have the place properly decorated for the season. I have my plastic eggs nestled in my plastic grass in my plastic basket. The plastic wreath is bedecked with silk flowers. It’s quite a display, just missing a lily or three. Now they have finally hit the stores I can pick up one or two and finish off the scene at my front door.

Why, if I have no compunction to displaying artificial anything and everything else, do I wait for the real thing when it comes to the Easter lily? Because those other things are merely the lead to the great day itself. The lily is the first symbol of new the life this time heralds and by Sunday will be joined by other welcoming signs of the season.

The Easter lily is said to have been born of the tears Eve wept as she was leaving the Garden of Eden and were the first signs of repentance, which is the whole idea of Lent leading to the great day itself. It is also said that they grew where Jesus wept in the Garden of Gethsemane as He prayed before His betrayal after the Last Supper. In both occasions they symbolize purity, innocence, and hope of a new life.

Yep, it’s a good thing those racks of lilies have finally shown up at the greenhouses and flower shops and supermarkets. You wouldn’t want to miss them this weekend.

That’s what I think. Really. How ‘bout you?

Merry Ghosties

Michael Leave a comment

There are 33 days until Halloween.  That’s an important number to keep in mind.  Thirty-three days.  Just last week on a news report, we were told that Americans would spend about $7 billion on Halloween this season.  There is one local couple who won’t be in that spending frenzy.  They were spotted last weekend buying a Christmas tree.  For them, Halloween must have been purchased sometime in July!

We all know that the stores have Christmas merchandise out already.  Folks are perusing the aisles with shopping carts filled with fall decorations and often will stop to ogle the rows of pre-lit, pre-decorated, pre-gifted Christmas trees before moving on to the motion activated ghoul door ornament.  But nobody buys those things yet.  The Christmas trees, not the ghouls.

If people start buying Christmas now where will the analysts be next year when predicting Halloween spending?  They could be out of jobs and then who will buy their door knocker embellishments be they ghoulies or evergreens for them?  If we have any plans on reading how much we’ll be spending on Halloween 2015, we have a lot of shopping to do now for 2014!

To make the predictors close to being right we need to spend about $3 million in costumes, $2 billion in candy, another $2 billion in decorations, and a couple hundred million on pet costumes and goodies.  How do we think we’re going to manage those sums if people are out there already buying Christmas trees?  It’s enough to make you think if you need more eggs for Easter.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Prepping for Halloween

Michael Leave a comment

Tonight is All Hallows’ Eve, better known as Halloween, better known still as Trick or Treat.  It’s a holiday, a festival, a night out for the children, but darned if we don’t enjoy it too.  No, not at costumes parties.  At the front door watching the little ones parade up and down the street.

She of We doesn’t see many trick or treaters.  Other than a next door neighbor, all the little ones have grown into real adults.  But her porch is still festive for the day.  Scarecrows greet you from the street to the door.  Number Two Son of She has turned into a pumpkin carving expert, pairing up two carved gourds as kid friendly couples ala Woody and Buzz Lightyear to the children’s delight.  He of We mounds some plastic pumpkins for a less labor intense look.  They are all different but all say the same.  Come on up and let us treat you.

Now, pumpkin carving, mum selecting, hay stack gathering all notwithstanding, the hardest part of prepping for Halloween is selecting the treats.  So many choices.  Do you go with full size candy bars and let word spread down the blocks that yours is the house to visit?  Do you go for fun size and insist that each T-n-T-er take several at your one stop variety shop?  Do you have treats targeted to specific age groups knowing the smallest of the crowd, those carried in a patient parent’s arms, will not appreciate the same caramel filled goodies as the six your olds?  So many choices.  And then there is the quantity.  You don’t want to run out but how much is enough.  Will impending foul weather shrink your number of visitors?  Will you need more for a projected 50 degree night than if it were a 30 degree evening?

Yes, here is where the real planning takes shape.  You know you’ve hit it right when you turn off the light, close the door, and have a piece left for each treat distributor.  Of course, if you should happen to have a few hundred pieces left over, well, it’s not right to waste food.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?

 

Lights, Camera, Action!

Michael Leave a comment

Hello!  Those who have been regularly following our young blog know that we routinely post twice a week on Monday and Thursday.  Like clockwork.  Ok, sometimes the clock needs its battery changed but we manage to get it done.  We are finding there are so many opportunities to comment on the reality around us during the holiday season that we can’t restrict ourselves to just two more posts before the big day.  Since it is better to give than to sleep, we are giving you more posts! (You can stop chortling now.)  So until Christmas check us out for our take on the real reality that we keep coming across every day.  Or until we run out of ideas.  And remember, the Real Reality Show Blog makes a great gift!

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Yesterday’s wake-up newscast included a story from Fairfax Station, Virginia of a home Christmas display having been vandalized.  This was no ordinary front yard display with ordinary Christmas lights across the gutters.  This display had over 200,000 lights that took over a thousand hours to erect.  We say ‘had’ because some of those lights aren’t there anymore after vandals hopped in their car and drove through the front yard over the display.  Home surveillance video also shows two teenagers knocking over figurines with baseball bats.  On the other side of the world, in Warrnambool, Victoria (Australia) more vandalism played out as lights were ripped out, solar panels broken, and display pieces tossed down the street.  This display was in the planning for a full year and had been a local award winner.

It’s doubtful that this was a planned coordinated attack by the International Christmas Lights Vandals syndicate but a quick check of some other news outlets revealed that this really is a worldwide experience.  In Kingsport, Tennessee lights were cut off a tree in a front yard.  In Lampasas, Texas a municipal display has lights removed and broken daily.  In Coburg, Ontario arrests were made for vandalizing a park display that took 20 volunteers 4 weeks to erect.   In Cambridgeshire, U.K. a Christmas display was targeted twice in three days by vandals.  And outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania an inflatable Grinch was taken from a home display.   

It’s getting bad when even the Grinch isn’t immune to such Grinch-like activity.  But help is out there.  When we did a basic on line search for “Christmas Lights Vandalism” the top return wasn’t any of the above news stories or not even an editorial decrying Christmas vandals as the lowest of the low.  Nope, the first return you get is for an organization that supports home based Christmas displays and offers tips to avoid vandalism.    (They also have tips on how many lights you need to create a landing zone, how to computerize your display, and a killer chocolate and potato chip cookie recipes.  But we digress.)

Our experience with wrecked displays is mostly environmental.  We have home “displays” of plain white lights with a couple of deer and penguins frolicking on a slide.   Throw in a refurbished sled and some garland, a wreath on each house and there you have it.  For us, vandalism is when Mother Nature calls on the North Wind to blow bows off the wreaths and topple a deer.  So it’s hard for us to relate to what one goes through when the human vandals strike.  But we do love driving through the neighborhoods around here to see who’s done what this year and marvel at the work so many put into their outdoor decorations. 

Yesterday ended on a happier note for mega-displayers.  On the local evening newscast there was a story of a young man who has been putting up a computerized lights and music display for several years.  He wasn’t on the news because anyone had taken umbrage with his holiday display.  He was being featured because he keeps a bucket out for donations and every year he targets a charity to reap the generosity of those passing his front yard.  Apparently good can triumph over evil.  By the time we made it to the evening news the disheartening stories of vandalism had been pushed aside by this young man’s altruism. 

A former President might even call him one of a thousand points of lights – Christmas lights, that is.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?