Tag Days

Day to Day

Michael 2 Comments

Shhh. Come closer. I have something to tell you. Today is Monday. That means you have the best chance of any day of the week to not be scammed. Good news, no? But don’t say anything lest the scammers find out you don’t fear them today and they start making Mondays their new Friday. Yeah, that’s the day you are most like to fall prey to the con.

Can you believe somebody actually gets paid to research this stuff? In some way it is interesting. There is a “best day” for just about anything you can imagine. The best day to shop at a thrift store is Monday. That’s what the experts say. The logic is that people have yard sales on the weekend and what isn’t sold often gets donated or consigned to thrift shops and second hand stores. How can you argue that? Except … those stores aren’t taking items in the back door and putting them directly on the sales floor. The have to be sorted, tidied, priced, then hung or displayed. Maybe Tuesday would be the better day. Or maybe it’s Friday so the store can make room for the wave of incoming merchandise next Monday.

How about the best time to post a photo on … wait, I’m sorry … the best time to post an image on Instagram? Yes, there are hundreds of experts who say without a doubt it is Wednesday, preferably at 2am or 5pm. Except for those experts who tell you the absolute best time to post is Thursday at 2pm. I might be more inclined to agree with the 2 in the afternoon people rather than the 2 in the morning people but that’s just because I believe the best time to sleep involves that coveted 2am hour. But then maybe I’d rather take heed of the experts who claim the best time is Monday at 8am. That would work especially well if I want to post photos, err, images of the stuff I’m picking up at the Goodwill store.

While you are out shopping and snapping pictures on Monday, mentally get your resume together because if you are thinking of applying for a job on line the best day is Tuesday, specifically at 11:30 in the morning. I’ve been looking for a little part time job to stave off the boredom of the lifestyle of the poor and unknown and now I know why I’m not getting any nibbles. In the true fashion of Willy Nilly, I have been applying whenever I see a job post that interests me.

BracketDaysYou’ll notice nobody has yet tapped Wednesday as a best day. That’s because they know you’re going to be busy buying shoes. Oh yes, there is an expert who has determined the very best time to buy shoes is Wednesday in late afternoon. No reason was given for that particular day but it is said that is when the deals are and the afternoon is when your feet are at their biggest because you’ve been on them all day. No word about those who have desk jobs or work the night shift.

Obviously you can’t buy shows every Wednesday so on those when you are sitting around rather than standing about to get your feet in shape for that shoe shopping spree, feel free to post something on Twitter. Yep, Wednesday afternoon between 4 and 5 is the best time to be noticed and maybe even get retweeted. Yippee.

If you are wondering (and why wouldn’t you be?), I was not able to find a best day of the week to have a vasectomy. For once experts agree that elective surgery in general has less negative outcomes when performed on Monday or Tuesday. It is claimed that because the recovery for a vasectomy basically amounts to hanging out on the couch and doing nothing for a few days, more vasectomies are scheduled right before the NCAA basketball tournament than any other time. I’ve never been able to track that “fact” back far enough to disclaim it didn’t start with those who broadcast said tournament but just in case it is in fact a fact, and considering the tournament starts tomorrow, and if you are missing your male companion today, you might want to get an ice pack ready.

And they say that Monday is the day not to get conned!

Technically Speaking

Michael 2 Comments

I blew it. I missed Thursday. Technically I suppose I didn’t. It’s still Thursday here, but I always have a post written and scheduled to be released so you can read it over your morning coffee. Technically, I do that so I can read it over my morning coffee. It gives me a little joy since I no longer write memos and directives that the staff got to read over their morning coffee. Ahh, those were the days. Oh the joy that I got out of putting a chill in their morning coffees. Yet I noticed that some of my joy was missing while I was having my morning coffee today. So I set out on the search for why.

At first I thought it was because I hadn’t crisped my breakfast potatoes enough. I knew it wasn’t that because I scarfed those puppies down like nobody’s business. (Potatoes of any kind are a treat for me and breakfast potatoes I’m lucky to get maybe twice a year.) (And yeah, I really could have put a better crisp on them. Oh well, there’s always sometime next year.) (Why, you ask. They’re not really friendly to a renal diet.) (Oh, why weren’t they crispy enough? I probably didn’t give them a good enough smash. And from there it’s all science. Wimpy smash, wimpy starch release, wimpy crisp.)

WeeklyAfter discounting potatoes (minimally crisp as they were), I was still sensing some lack of joy. Aha! I said to myself. “Self, aha! It’s August. Not a good month for you.” And yes, August has had some bad memories of late. Two of the last four Augusts have seen me in emergency rooms followed by hospital admissions and one of those was a marathon four-monther. Another August was the closing of the hospital I wanted to stay at until I retired (as an employee, not a patient). Which, technically, I did, but not in the manner I had planned. (Too many commas?) But then last August nothing bad happened at all so I am on a roll. Technically you could say I am one in a row. Nope, that wasn’t it.

I know. While having my morning coffee I got a text from my sister. That would bring unjoy to anybody. But no, she was just telling me that she was going to return some containers of mine that I had used to share some peach cobbler with her. And whenever my containers come back they are always full of new food. Food is always good. Food = joy. Food somebody else makes = great joy.

No, the lack of joy could be due to only one thing. I didn’t have my post to read this morning. Somehow I had forgotten to write a post for today. I don’t understand it. I didn’t do anything different over the past few days to make me lose track of days forget what I had done, fail to record particular highs or lows, or observe life at its craziest. I think I just forgot. Technically, I blew it. Fortunately I had a lot of other posts in my mailbox and you guys write better than me anyway. So joy was restored and all is right in the world.

Oh, but you’re getting this post anyway. Have a good Thursday. Or whenever it is wherever you are. Sorry if you really missed it at breakfast. Have a second cup of coffee on me.