Tag Corona Virus

In the Relentless Pursuit of Normal

Michael 2 Comments
What do table tennis, magic coffee cream, concealed carry permits, and toilet paper have in common? I don’t know but they all have starring roles in today’s post.
 
ping-pong-paddleDid you know Pennsylvania is the second largest gambling center in the United States? Nevada by far brings in the most revenue garnering a little over 25% of the American dollars legally wagered, but Pennsylvania casinos saw over 3.25 billion dollars (Billion with a B) cross the felts or fed into machines. With the state’s casinos on lockdown card players and slots junkies can scratch their itches easily enough with online betting and in severe moments of needed relief, calling the family around the dining room table and issuing Monopoly Money for impromptu quality time AKA blackjack. But what is the sports betting public to do. The online casino sites include sports betting but there are no sports to bet on. Or are there? Enter Russian table tennis. The mobile sports app associated with one of the area casino’s sports book operation reported 56% of last weekend’s bets were on the Table Tennis Cup matches in Moscow. On the other side of the state the same app operating for another casino saw 79% of the wagers on the cup matches. I couldn’t find a total dollar amount bet on table tennis but an internet search returned multiple pages of strategies and handicapping for betting on this week’s games. And you thought it was something played in garages by teenagers who couldn’t get dates to the prom. (Why yes, that is where and when I learned the game. And your point is?) And life becomes normal,  sort of, for the sports junkie gambler.
 
Who would have thought 1 cup of sugar, 1/3 cup of instant coffee crystals, and 2/3 cup of ice water would save the world? Would you? Perhaps not the world but certainly those on it used to starting their days with a $6 cup of sweet, creamy caffeinated goodness. Apparently you just toss the sugar and coffee with a splash of the water into a bowl and mix until everything it is wet, then start whisking like crazy while slowly adding the ice water and then keep on whisking for several to many minutes until light and fluffy. Those without Incredible Hulk like arms will probably want to use a stand mixer with a balloon whisk attachment. Sugar and water do not typically result in something with the consistency of whipped cream but that’s exactly what this concoction turns out like! Top your regular old black coffee with the stuff or blend a couple tablespoons of it with a generous portion of ice cubes and a bit of whole milk for a home version of otherwise expensive drive through frozen cappuccino and make your morning commute to the home office and/or dining room table almost normal.
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MagicCoffee
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In Pennsylvania you are required to have a concealed weapon permit to carry a gun unless you want to strap it on your hip and mosey through the streets old wild west style. By the state definition “concealed” includes transporting weapons in the car even if visible except for going to or from gun dealers, shooting ranges, or vacation homes, or to surrender the weapon at a weapons turn in location. So if you plan on ever taking that gun anywhere you better get a concealed carry permit. Permits are issued by county sherriff offices and several counties have closed their gun permit offices during The Corona Crisis. (That’s what I’m officially calling it now. If the network news can make up a name to promote impending armageddon so can I!) Anyway, the day before the the office in my county closed they issued over 200 permits to carry concealed. And it’s a good thing they did because since The Corona Crisis hit, gun sales have increased by as much as 600%. (Actually, according to the organization  Firearms Owners Against Crime, sales are up 100 to 600 percent. (Oh I hope their members are more accurate than their analytics experts.)) Why the sudden increase in gun sales and permit requests? “A lot of my friends already have it, so I kind of felt like I should get it too,” one person told a local television news reporter. And the testosterone fueled Jones Keeper Uppers are functioning just like normal. 
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tpI was at the grocery store yesterday. That’s one of the places we are allowed to go. Grocery store, pharmacy,  medical appointments,  and out for walks or exercise as long as we maintain the now normal social distance.  That is unless you are an essential employee at an essential business in which case you can go out to get to and from there. Low and behold, there was toilet paper! Enough options that toilet paper math wasn’t out of the question. As I sauntered through the store with my freshly wiped down cart I noticed all the shelves had something on them. Well, almost all. There was milk, bread, eggs, fresh and canned meats and fish, fresh produce, frozen foods, beans, flour and other baking needs and soap, alcohol, and other cleaning products. Everything except the always unavailable hand sanitizer. And rice. Of all the different types of rice in all the different types of packages there were none to be found. All I could think was that some family is going to be awfully tired of stir fries by September. And just like that, even as the supply of toilet paper seems to be normalizing, hoarding has gotten it’s new normal.
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Although my normal lifestyle can be confused with self-isolation and social distancing even I now get bored a little faster and miss stopping to chat with fellow walkers around the complex. I know it is not going to be in the next few weeks but I’d bet we’ll be back to our normal normal sooner than we think. At least I would bet if I knew how to use one of those mobile sports betting apps. I would also bet that as soon as the normal normal becomes normal again, six dollar frozen coffee drinks will be back to being the normal caffeine of choice on normal commutes. I’m willing to wager many of those carry permits never share pocket space with what the permit permits carrying and someday rice will again fill the rice and grains aisles but it will never replace the paper products aisle and toilet paper math for shopping fun for the whole family! (Yes, that is one of my favorite posts.)
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Now go wash your hands!
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Selfish Is as Selfish Does

Michael 4 Comments
I was hoping to spend the remainder of our self isolation distributing nothing but good news and mad, happy thoughts. Sorry but I just can’t. Well, I suppose I could but I suppose I would also explode by keeping too much in. And so…look out world…
Just what the [bleep]ing [bleep] are you [bleep]ing thinking you crazy [bleep] [bleep] for brains you [bleep]ing idiots you! 
 
No, no, not you. All those other you. The idiots you.
 
I know every year we have to come up with new words that the vast majority of people who use them have no clue what they mean. For Exhibit One I submit “xenophobe.” You would think this year’s entry, “social distancing,” wouldn’t create such confusion. Okay, I understand it’s actually two words but they are both pretty basic, or pretty [bleep]ing basic if you really want to capture my true thoughts on the subject. 
 
Social: among people, not unlike social media. You recognize that don’t you? Again, not you. That other you.
 
Distance: Space, room, like when you (once more the idiots you) when you want some space, man.
 
I’m sure there are a lot of the you who are doing your part, but the few other you are making me sick. Hopefully not any sicker than I already am.
 
Some examples:
 
Last week Pittsburgh cancelled its St. Patrick’s Day parade scheduled for Saturday March 14 to protect the public. At the time a ban on dine in/drink in seating (or standing) at restaurants and bars had not gone into effect. Of course people were encouraged not to congregate in crowds larger than 250. (Again, that was at the time. Since then the recommendation had been dropped to 150, then 50, now 10, all over the course of 4 days.) Of course people ignored that. The bars sure did their part, one stating they weren’t letting more than 150 in the space that typically holds 340. Yay! Took real restraint to pull that off. Naturally those refused admittance just queued up outside. One reveler explained to a reporter, “I’ll live my life, I’ll do my thing and then address it if I have to.” In related news, no long lines of people waiting to pay homage to the good saint were reported outside any churches on the actual St. Patrick’s Day, which contrary to popular belief is not always the second Saturday in March. 
 
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Sorry, you can’t go in yet. We’re practicing Social Distancing in there.

An Allegheny County (Pennsylvania) sheriff reported to work not feeling very well. According to reports his son’s girlfriend just returned from Spain and tested presumptive positive for COVID-19. The Chief Deputy said the deputy who was experiencing symptoms “had concerns based on reported symptoms, and he made the decision to come to work.” The deputy interacted with 15 other deputies before he reported his symptoms to a supervisor who instructed all 16 to return home and self-isolate. 
 
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Somebody didn’t get the memo. Be the match. Don’t get burned.

Several states still waiting primary election days have postponed, rescheduled, or are considering rescheduling elections or encouraging voting by mail ballots. Several organizations have protested such actions going so far as to file suits and request injunctions to halt any actions that delay voting. No individuals have entered such action, only groups claiming to be protecting Americans’ rights. I suppose protecting Americans right goes to some other groups.
 
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Protecting Americans right!

Please, let me get back to sharing happy madcap adventures and the occasional report on my health that hopefully won’t get any weirder in the next 14 days.
 
Be well, stay safe, and don’t forget to wash your hands.
 
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Be like me

 
 
 

One more time, with feeling

Michael 2 Comments
I’ve been missing. Ever since the middle of last week I haven’t been all there. Or all here. Depends on your point of view I suppose. By Friday I ended up in the emergency room. Nothing horrible but with my history and the ever present compromised immune system, things that aren’t horrible for many others usually get a “go to the ER” response when I call the doctor to see if there are any open times in the day’s schedule that I might get squeezed into. So off to the ER I went and from there off to an inpatient unit were I relished in playing with all the buttons on the bed making it go up and down at the push of … well, a button. 
 
For all the complaints health care takes in general, the system we’ve put together is pretty remarkable. I might be biased having worked in the system for longer than some lifetimes but I’m still impressed when I have to put on my patient hat. Or more appropriately, my patient gown. And yes, there is still nothing appropriate about those! Even an unbiased user will see more good done by American health providers than what the lawyers advertising on daytime television would have you think. I’ll put on my jade colored glasses and wager that as you are reading this there is a personal injury law firm somewhere in America readying suits claiming injury because some organization had a better test, a treatment, a vaccine, or all the above to combat covid-19 but put profits ahead of patients.
 
I can’t help with any of that. I do not have reassuring words for those concerned about the pandemic and have only prayers to offer for anyone who lost a love or has a family member or even him or herself suffering from a corona virus induced illness.
 
What I can offer is the personal observations of someone who has been chemically immunosuppressed for twenty years and for whom handwashing and social distancing is a way of life. 
 
The chance of infection from any virus spread by touch will be minimized by minimizing touching where the virus may reside. Since you cannot see a virus assume anything you touch is contaminated. You have heard it ad infinitum but one more time won’t hurt. Wash your hands. Sure go ahead and sing happy birthday if you want but if you scrub them well and get between each finger and up to your wrist, you will take at least 20 seconds doing that. If you think you’ve washed them enough today, you haven’t. Do it again. If you can’t wash your hands, use a hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol. Then as soon as you can, wash them again with soap and water. Before you touch your face pretend you just ate a rack of barbecued ribs and have to take our your contacts. 
 
When possible, stay out of crowds, wipe down surfaces like supermarket shopping carts with available cleaning wipes. Rooms you typically clean weekly, clean daily, things you typically clean seasonally clean weekly, anything you haven’t cleaned yet this year, clean!  Opt to order from the menu rather than choosing the buffet, and there is no “five second rule.” If it’s not on a plate, don’t eat it! 
 
Do not buy up all the masks at the store if any are even left. They will not help you not get the virus because it isn’t terribly active while airborne. By taking all the masks out of circulation for people who need them like recent organ transplant recipients or severely immunosuppressed individuals who need them as a matter of everyday precautions, scary novel viruses notwithstanding.
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The best thing you can do if you aren’t feeling well is to stay home. This is not to say that everybody who doesn’t feel well is infected with the corona virus. Any illness is going to make you more susceptible to any other virus and you become a greater threat to anybody who is immunocompromised.
 
You have heard the symptoms are similar to flu symptoms. Flu symptoms are similar to bronchitis which is similar to pneumonia and so and so on. To help you determine that you don’t have covid-19 but may be looking at an oncoming cold I’ve put together a quickie comparison of the most common upper respiratory conditions. 
 
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Always consult your physician for diagnosis and appropriate treatment

Please remember this is not a diagnostic tool. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms call you doctor. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to see him or her in the office. If you aren’t, I’m in room 428.