Tag Corona Virus

Revisiting the Middle Seat

Michael 4 Comments

Back in July of 2020, July 9 to be exact, I published “The Middle Seat Hump Syndrome,” a clever little ditty if I say so myself wherein I compared the then fairly new encounter with the coronavirus, which we don’t even call it that any more. Toward the end of an honest to gosh true tale of summer family vacationing, I said with much assurance that we will all be fine in the long run. Guess what? I was right! Politicians, social media “experts” in-laws, naysayers, leftist, rightists, centrists all aside, I was right! We are pretty much okay as long as you don’t ask the 6.35 million people who lost their lives. Yes that number could have been smaller had we paid less attention to the politicians, social media “experts” in-laws, naysayers, leftist, rightists, but we’re stupid so we didn’t. Maybe next time we will.

Because today is the Fourth of July, which of course everybody knows is officially American Independence Day, and because the entire country is out there burning gas we don’t have to pursue their right to a family vacation, I thought I’d regale you again, with “The Middle Seat Hump Sydrome,” with that pesky typo corrected even!

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You need to be of a certain age to remember summer vacations in the family car with enough family that it filled all the seats, three across, and the middle seat made the leg room in coach on Delta look generous for there, right where your feet wanted to be, was “the hump,” the growth in the floorboard that rose nearly to seat level, to allow whatever it was that transferred the up and downs of the engine to the round and round of the rear wheels to make it’s way from the motor to the where the rubber met the road. I am of that age and had been on those vacations and I got that middle seat.

It wasn’t always like that. For a while there were just two of us in the back and we would each get out own window seats with plenty of room between for the picnic basket and cooler that were only opened at planned stops along the way. Then the third one came along. At first it wasn’t such a big deal. She started out in the baby seat in the middle of the front seat (yes, that’s where we put them when we used them back then). After she outgrew that space, she shifted to the back but because those short, stubby legs didn’t even make it off the seat, the hump was not impediment to her comfort. Eventually though, she grew and with that, so did the complaining. “I don’t want to sit on the hump!” And the word came from the front, “take turns.” From then on, whenever the car stopped, the back seat crowd reshuffled, and everyone got a turn being uncomfortable where we decidedly didn’t want to be.

That’s a little like what’s going on in the world now. Each time it appears to be stopping, or at least slowing enough to risk opening the door and get off this crazy ride, the virus comes back, and we have to reshuffle. Do we limit contact, should we close down again, does this mask make my nose look big? Regardless of the answer, some bodies are going to end up decidedly where they don’t want to be doing what they’d rather not be doing or not doing what they’d rather do. Think of the world as an early ’64 Chevrolet and were all taking turns sitting on the hump.

I’m going to spoil the ending for you. It all works out. Nobody was permanently damaged from sitting with a leg there and the other one there. We climbed out of the backseat a little stiff and a little sore but we made. We’ll make it through this also. Maybe a little worse for the wear after this ride that you are certain we got lost on because no way it should be taking this long, but eventually we are going to climb back out into the world.

Middle seat hump syndrome was never that horrible and may have been the inspiration for some future engineer to design SUVs with higher cabins that clear all those mechanical doodads or to shift the driving wheels to the front and obviate the need for a hump running down the middle if the cars interior. Along those same lines it could be someday we might even get to go out and not have to check that we have our masks with us. We just have to wait for the right expert to come up with the right solution. They are out there. There will find it.

In the meanwhile, Happy Motoring!

roamcare_logo-3If you haven’t had a chance to visit ROAMcare yet, stop by, refresh your enthusiasm and read our blogs, check out the Moments of Motivation, or just wander around the site. Everybody is always welcome.

Be careful out there

Michael 6 Comments

Deaths due to COVID-19 in 2021 already have surpassed the total number of deaths in all of 2020. Let me type that again. Deaths due to COVID-19 in 2021 already have surpassed the total number of deaths in all of 2020. Globally. If you are in the US, Canada, UK, pick a country that last year was locked up tighter than Marley and Scrooge’s backroom safe and you are going out later today without a mask on, that means there are places this year that make what you went through last year look like you were just trying to stay ahead of getting a really bad cold. One more time. Deaths due to COVID-19 in 2021 already have surpassed the total number of deaths in all of 2020. Globally

WorldDeathsAccording to data generated by the Johns Hopkins University, about 1,880,000 deaths from COVID-19 were recorded in 2020. As of the first week of June 2021, less than halfway through this year, about 1,883,000 deaths due to COVID-19 have been reported. Globally.

Globally. That sort of is important because we are a global world. Planes are back in the air with all seats filled, crossing borders. Ships are at sea again stopping at ports not always in the same country as the previous port of call. Students, vacationers, businesspersons are moving to and fro, free as can be. Give or take.

In the United States, the total reported cases, not deaths, for the single day, June 11 (the last full weekday before this was written) was 26,006, the running seven day average cases was 14,768. The last time a seven day average of less than 15,000 was reported at week’s end was on Friday, March 27, 2020 at 12,127. Then, seven day averages were increasing; now, they are declining. Proof that mitigation and vaccination worked and is working. It’s questionable that mitigation without vaccination would have eventually gotten us to the current case load, and certainly not by the end of May. By the end of 2020 with only mitigation, seven day average case totals routinely ran greater than 200,000 and peaked in January 9, 2021 with a single day case total of 300,779 and a seven day average of 259,615 cases. Widespread vaccination and continuing mitigation have since reduced both single day and seven day averages continuously to where we are today. The lowest single day reported cases for 2021 was May 31 at 5,557  with a seven-day average of 17,171. The last time previous to that when a single day case load less than 6,000 was reported was on March 20, 2020, with 5,619 cases.

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Interestingly, since May 31, the daily totals and seven day averages of cases reported in the US have consistently increased. Also, since May 31, have the majority of states relaxed or eliminated mitigation requirements.  It would not be unreasonable to ask if vaccination without mitigation is and will be working. Certainly not wanting to cry wolf, but I will type once more, deaths due to COVID-19 in 2021 already have surpassed the total number of deaths in all of 2020. Globally.

Let’s be careful out there. There’s a lot of virus still out there.

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Michael 3 Comments

Five hundred thousand. 500,000. Five with five zeros after it. Half a million, half a mil. 500 K. Unless you’ve been under a rock or outside the reach of American news outlets, you’ve heard than number a lot this week.  Earlier this week it was reported that’s how many deaths the US has suffered attributable to CoViD-19. That’s 20% of the world’s CoViD death total. Not bad for a country that represents a little over 4% of the world’s population.

500,000…that’s a lot of people. That’s like all of the people in Vermont. Or Atlanta. That’s five times the people who can fit in Ohio State’s football stadium, about ten times the capacity of Yankee Stadium. Five hundred thousand deaths is 167,000 times the number of people killed in the 9/11 attacks on the USA.  It’s as many Americans who lost their lives in World War II, and Korea, and Vietnam. What it took three major wars almost 30 years to do, Orthocoronavirinae betacoronavirus-2 did in one year and 2 weeks.

That’s 20% of the world’s deaths from a country not even 5% of it’s population. Well, why would that surprise us. After all, that same 4.27% of the world controls almost 30% of its wealth, and damn near 99% of its football (as opposed to football). We’re badass. We don’t need no stinking masks, we don’t need no stinking social distancing. Oh but give us those vaccines. Oh yeah baby. The good old US of A has gotten almost 30% of the vaccine doses that have been produced.

We might as well give some back because 30% of Americans polled say they won’t get the vaccine. Last July that was almost 60%. It’s even gone down some since last November when 39% said they wouldn’t get the vaccine. Still, that’s almost 100 million people who I guess think the virus is a hoax. Idiots.

Sorry – no funny stories, no cute picture, no clever wrap up.  But one bright spot – at least it’s not politicians making me sick this week.

Happy Anniversary?

Michael 1 Comment
It’s not every day we see two momentous anniversaries. Actually that has to be untrue. I am certain a bazillion things happen every day that are momentous to somebody. Today there are two that are momentous to me. I’m sorry, that’s an untruth also. One I could care less about but it makes for an interesting contrast to the other.
 
On this date in 1972 the world’s first Star Trek convention was held in New York City. Wait, also untrue. On this date in 1972 the first “major” Star Trek convention was held in New York City. Who determined “major” I do not have a clue. I suppose “major” like “beauty” is in the eye of the beholder. Or the Spock ears. I enjoyed Star Trek but not so much that I made a trip to the Big Apple in full Star Fleet regalia. Apparently 3,000 people did enjoy it to that extent and showed up for it. No data regarding how many were in uniform. That’s a lot of people to pay homage to a TV show that had been off the air for 3 years by then and seven years before the motion picture would spawn an entire new crowd of crazies, errr fans. Remember that number though. We’ll get back to those 3,000 people in a moment.
 
January 21 commemorates another obscure occurence. It was in this day in 2020 (that was last year for those with short memories) that the first case of SARS-CoV-2, better known now as CoViD-19 was diagnosed in the United States. Since then 2,438,723 cases have been confirmed (as of Jan.20, 2021). That averages to over 6,000 cases per day. Twice as many people every day on average(!) get CoViD (that we know of) as those who flocked to NYC in their version of starship NCC-1701. 
 
If you are having trouble picturing 2.4 million people that’s about the population of Chicago (2.7 million) or more than twice as many people in all of Rhode Island (1.1 million). That’s also about how many people have died from CoViD in the world since it worked it’s way into people some 14 months ago (2.06 million).
 
Let’s go back to the first Star Trek convention. Picture those 3,000 people milling about, some in Spock ears, and now imagine each person’s best friend who couldn’t make it to New York and is waiting back home. Now you have all 6,000 people in your mind. Well, that’s how many people die every day (on average(!)) from CoViD in the last year – in this world.
 
Do you think you could wear your mask now please? Spock ears optional. 
 
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Eight Million Ways to Cry…Times 2.

Michael 5 Comments
I heard over the weekend the United States topped 16 million CoViD-19 cases, 16.3 million when I read it on Sunday. It took 252 days to record the first 8 million cases and 87 days to tally up the second. Sixteen million cases, more than any other country in the world. Well, it’s a big country some might think. (Some might think we should have slowed the testing down. Similarly some might have thought we should stop counting votes. Both thoughts quite wrong but that’s a post for a different day.) (Maybe.) (Will see.) Anyway…
 
Back to those 16 million cases in such a “big” country. Canada is a big country too. There they have recorded just over 460,000 cases. Of course it is less populated. Canada has a population of 37.6 million people compared to the US population of 328 million.  That means the US is getting CoViD four times faster.  Well, clearly Canada is not as densely populated so they won’t have as high a rate as the packed in like sardines cities of the USofA. Hmm, well, let’s look at India where there are 9.8 million cases. That’s almost as many as America’s 16 million. But India has 1.32 BILLION people packed into a smaller area. India has 382 people per square kilometer, over 10 times the density of the. 36 people per sq km in the USA yet the US case rate per population is over 7 times that as crowded India’s.
 
So back to those 16 million. The borough of Manhattan in New York City boasts a population of 8.7 million people. There are probably not many people reading this who remember the TV drama “Naked City.” It ran from 1958 through 1963 and each episode ended with a phrase you may remember even if you don’t know the show, “There are 8 million stories in the naked city. This has been one of them.” Those 8 million stories ostensibly were the 8 million people of Manhattan posing as that naked city. In 1982 Lawrence Block wrote his hardboiled detective novel “Eight Million Ways to Die” again paying a sort of homage to the 8 million people of Manhattan. (In 1986 Oliver Stone with a few others adapted the book to a movie of the same name, with the lead character of the same name but everything else was different, even the city! It was horrible. But that’s a post for another day!) (Don’t see the movie, read the book.) Where was I? Oh yes, the 8 million people of Manhattan and those 16 million CoViD-19 cases. 
 
I remember reading Eight Million Ways to Die shortly after its release. I remember remembering I never thought about how many people lived in Manhattan and thinking wow that is a lot of people. I grew up in little suburbia with about 20,000 people and our tallest building outside of church steeples was a 5 story department store. It was far from Hooterville but probably just as far from Manhattan. Eight million. That’s still a lot of people. But sixteen million. That’s 8 million times 2!
 
Sixteen million CoViD-19 cases, almost twice the current population of that island in New York. They say the recovery rate right now is around 48% so that works out to be 8.3 million active CoViD cases. They could easily swap into Manhattan for the 8.7 who live there now. Close the bridges and tunnels and we could have a quarantine community. Kind of like the Kalaupapa Peninsula. (Look it up.) I doubt anybody would be willing to make the big switch and we can’t be sure that there are only 8 million active cases because we don’t know how many people are running around with the disease who have never been tested. (Apparently some people actually thought I was a good idea to slow the testing down. Yeah, yeah, another post for another day. I’m keeping track.) So then, umm, right, 16 million people with CoViD-19. 
 
Sixteen million people. Eight million times two. Not 8 million ways to die though. Only a couple ways. If they were among the unlucky 300,000 who had died, people who died from CoViD may have from acute respiratory failure, heart failure, blood clots, kidney failure, or a syndrome of a collection of symptoms called a cytokine storm including blood leaking out of its vessels. Ugh.
 
Yesterday, vaccines were loaded into trucks in Kalamazoo heading for the airport to be shipped across the US. That doesn’t mean the number stops at 16,300,000.  It is probably going up as you read this. Actually it is definitely going up as you read this. Will it get to 8 million times 3? Likely yes. Maybe even 4 and 5 and perhaps 6 before the vaccine does what its supposed to fo which is circulate through the immune systems of every American regardless of where he, she, or it stood on testing and counting. 
 
Sixteen million people. Eight million reasons to cry. Times 2.
 
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Not Seeing Is Believing

Michael 6 Comments
I’ve never actually seen a hurricane. I was on Puerto Rico twice within a week of a hurricane having gone through and saw its aftermath. I’ve been in South Florida just before a hurricane was predicted to hit and helped secure the property.  I’ve seen flooding in Pennsylvania from hurricanes so severe when they hit the Gulf Coast the Ohio River spilled its banks 1,000 miles away. But I’ve never actually seen a hurricane. Doesn’t matter. I know what hurricanes can do to people and I’m not stupid enough to think just because I haven’t seen something first hand it won’t hurt me. I think I’ll be careful and listen to the experts about how to stay safe when a hurricane is coming.
 
I’ve never actually seen a person have a stroke. I’ve worked in health care my entire adult life and I’ve seen heart attacks, seizures, asthma attacks, people in hypoglycemia, bleeding, bruising, and shaking with fever. But I’ve never actually seen a person have a stroke. Doesn’t matter. I know what a stroke can do to a person and I’m not stupid enough to think just because I haven’t seen something first hand it won’t hurt me. I think I’ll be careful and listen to the experts about how to avoid a stroke.
 
I’ve never actually seen a car try to beat a train through a railroad crossing and lose. I’ve seen a car that lost. Fortunately I didn’t see the former occupants of the car. [Shudder] But I never actually saw a car lose its race with a train.  Doesn’t matter. I know what trains can do to people and I’m not stupid enough to think just because I haven’t seen something first it won’t hurt me. I think I’ll be careful and listen to the experts and stop, look, and listen before proceeding through a railroad crossing.
 
I’ve never actually seen a plane crash. A plane once came down 15 miles from my home. I wasn’t there at the time. I didn’t see it, I didn’t hear it. I read about it in the papers. For days after I read about it in the papers. People I know worked the scene. For days after they worked the scene. But I’ve never actually saw the plane crash. Doesn’t matter. I know what falling from the sky can do to a person and I’m not stupid enough to think just because I can’t see something first hand it won’t affect me. I’ll be careful and take what precautions I can when I have to fly. 
 
I’ve never actually seen the SARS-CoV-2 virus…
 
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Speaking Coronese

Michael 2 Comments
It’s been six months in the US since the Corona Virus began making inroads into daily news reports. In early February, unless you were living in the Pacific Northwest, it was more a curiosity than a lifestyle. Some people weren’t certain of the difference between “corona” and “CoViD” and the really clever people were blaming the new virus on Mexican beer. By early March the news outlets were scrambling to count victims, interview experts, and pretend they knew what they meant when they spouted out the words of a language they hadn’t quite fully learned. Many sounded like parade commentators when they are reading the words on the teleprompter for the first time. By early April the cadence of the reports was smoother and the language of the virus, Coronese, was fast becoming the second language everybody wanted to speak. Today we toss around words and phrases like positivity, epidemiology, herd immunity, contact tracing, and the ever popular self-isolation and social distancing like we grew up with them. This is the language of the virus. The formal language if you will. But there’s another language of the virus the goes beyond the jargon. The language of the street (or social media depending where you spend your time), the slang, the language we speak when we take off our hat and coat and sit with friends. Friends we might still want to think hard about and consider if they are worth violating social distance guidelines for and end up self isolating with.
 
20200810_100908Every language devolves into its guttural form and Coronese is no different. Some words are lend words from legitimate language. We now “zoom” whenever we hold a video chat sessions and “mask up” regardless of what body part we are covering with whatever we are covering it with for protection from whatever. Some words are bastardized versions of the technical jargon or legitimate language. Such as “the ‘rona” when referring to anything virus related, “iso-” anything when done alone, or “blursday” for any unspecified or forgotten day of the week.
 
My favorite words of Coronese are the covomanteaus, itself a portmanteau of CoviD and portmanteau. In my mind, warped as it tends to be sometimes, I’ve not yet decided if CoViD itself is an acronym (thus CoViD) or a portmanteau (as the more popular and in my opinion lazier, covid) of Corona Virus Disease. These covomanteaus include covidiot (anyone ignoring specific virus protection recommendations or clueless of the disease in general), covideo (chatting by video or the video chat session itself), quaranteam (your colleagues also working from home performing as a single work unit), and quarantini (although there are actually specific recipes for a “quarantini” it can pretty much be any cocktail made with any ingredients readily available generally using whatever vodka remains after making your own hand sanitizer).
 
Still with all the technical jargon, legitimate language, and coronaslang,  Coronese is missing some important words and giving it due consideration, I’ve decided I am just the one to start filling those holes, or virogaps as any knowledge gap regarding the ‘rona will now be known. So far I’ve come up with covomanteau and virogap but I’ll be working on it day and night. I may put together a quaranteam and we can work together after a short ronamute to our homeworkstations and have a comprehensive ronapedia distributed before we covexit this virocrisis. Until then, keep washing your hands and remember to mask up!
 
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To Tell the Truth

Michael 2 Comments
From the title of this post you might think I’m taking another shot at advertisers, or politicians, or horror or all horrors, political ads, but no, not at all. Today’s potshots are aimed at us and starting with me. (That would be the collective us not necessary an us that could contain you because you might indeed be the only truthful person in earth. Hey, it has to be somebody!)
 
Once a time up the worse you could do was lie, cheat, or steal. Or perhaps lie, cheat, and steal. A subtle but important difference. But today if it wasn’t for cheating many of the recent sports championship teams members wouldn’t be sporting their championship rings, thievery accounts for 4 of the top 5 reported crimes in the United States (per the FBI the top five in 2020 are larceny, burglary, motor vehicle theft  aggravated assault, robbery) and lies are getting so popular politicians may revert to the truth telling just to differentiate themselves from the common crowd (okay, so I had to get at least one political dig in). And yes, you are in that ground too. You might be so good at social lying that you even fool yourself. Pull up a chair and listen to my tale. (Or read it if that’s easier for you.)
 
It dawned on me that not only do we spend a good chunk of each day lying to each other, each other of us actually expects it because we, in the words of a certain fictionalized Navy JAG officer, can’t handle the truth. Apparently I am one of the very few persons in the television watching world who did not sign up for a free 30 day trial of Disney+ this month, almost all specifically to be able to watch Hamilton. In order to correct the “obvious” oversight on my part my sister asked me if I wanted to pop over and watch it with them before their trial expired. (It just now dawned on me that signing up for a free trial with the foreknowledge that you are so signing up only to watch a specific movie free and then cancelling before getting charge for month #2 could be either or both cheating and stealing but that is (those are?) post(s) for a different day.) “No thank you,” I answered, “I really don’t have any great desire to see it.” You would have thought I said I didn’t want to go to Heaven when I die (or before if that could be arranged). I supposed I could have said, perhaps should have said, “I’d love to!” but I wouldn’t so I didn’t. It’s the truth. I really don’t have a burning desire to see Hamilton. Sorry. Actually no, not sorry.
 
Yes, yes, you’re going to say but those lies we tell in those times aren’t lies, they are niceties, polite nothings, harmless fibs. When did it become necessary to lie to be polite. When you are standing in line at the 12 items or less express lane with your melting half gallon of rocky road ice cream waiting for the clerk to bag the last of the 6 bags of groceries for the guy in front of you and your answer to her “I’m sorry you had to wait,” is “that’s okay, I don’t mind,” that’s a lie! You know you want to say “if you’re so sorry take this portable puddle of chocolate back to the ice cream freezer and bring back back a container I don’t have to eat with a straw! And while I’m waiting I’m going to tell your boss that you lack the counting skills to figure out when you’re being played for a fool!” But no, you want to be nice, it’s more polite that way, so you lie. 
 
You explained 3 times to the auto mechanic that “it goes ‘ker-plunk’ when I turn the steering wheel to the left,” but when he comes back from the test drive he says “I didn’t hear a ‘clunk’ when I stepped on the brakes. When was the last time you heard that?” So you try again, “no, I didn’t say it goes ‘clunk” when I step on the brakes, it’s making a ‘ker-plunk’ing when I turn the steering wheel left.” That sets the tone for a day spent in the service lounge with the 128 cup coffee urn that was fresh three days ago, the magazines with scantily clad muscle cars and girls with big air filters on the covers that were fresh 3 years ago, and the TV in the corner than is permanently tuned to “The Real Housewives of Possum County.” Four hours and 27 cups of coffee later the service manager sticks his head in to tell you you’re all done and he’s sorry it took a little longer than they thought but they had to go to their warehouse to get the part. “It’s okay,” you sort of mumble while mentally visualizing the most recent statement “total outstanding” boxes for your credit cards. Well it’s not okay. You just lied! Four hours earlier you wanted to say “maybe I should try a repair shop that knows the difference between a ker-plunk in the stering wheel and a clunk in the brakes” but then all you said was “uh huh’ and now you lied that it was okay because it’s the polite thing to do.
 
And now we have even more opportunities to politely lie in our daily lives. You know, “of course I’m still washing my hands,” “I love that the whole family Zooms every Friday for Happy Hour!” and “oh yes I wear my mask every time I go out and I’m happy to do it and protect my fellow world citizens!” Yeah, right. You’re probably washing your hands but Happy Birthday, twice, has morphed into the opening line of White Curtain which causing you to pause 9 seconds in to ponder the second line, consider it for another 4, and then dry your hands and walk. What you really want to say is ‘who are all these people, I’d kill myself if I had to do this in person every week.” Finally, you do wear you mask everywhere you go (don’t you?) but be honest, you really want to say “I wear my mask but I’d rather not but because it’s the right thing to do I will so you better too! or “freaking pansies won’t let me in to buy my freaking beer without a freaking mask on but this is freaking America and I have to right to pursue beer so give me a freaking mask.”
 
So, there you go. Tell me you haven’t done the same especially now, during these trying times. But don’t worry – “it’s going to be okay.”
 
 
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Driven to Distraction

Michael 5 Comments
In the midst of chaos comes order. And in the midst of protests, name calling, escalating hospitalizations, and ongoing isolation comes a breath of fresh air. As long as you don’t mind being trapped in a car to get it!
 
Using the money he saved to buy a new car,  Sean Rothermel instead rented 27 billboards for a month and mounted a outside art exhibit and motor tour around Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania neighborhoods. In an interview with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Rothermel said, “It’s very much about the experience and giving people something to do, even if it’s just for a few hours. Just giving people a way to get back into the present moment but in a way that you’re not stressed out about the virus or the economy.”
 
The April in Paris of Appalachia tour takes about 3 hours through 17 of the city’s neighborhoods. Rothermel posted a driving map and description of each billboard but did not post pictures of the boards to encourage people to get out and move around the city even if it has to be in the confines of a car. He also posted links to resources to help those struggling mentally and emotionally during the pandemic. 
 
If you need a break from isolation and you are in the Western Pennsylvania area it’s worth the gas to take a break for a few hours and navigate around the city making sure you don’t overshoot the board coming up next. But you have to hurry. The billboards are up only for July. If you can’t get to the city but really want a pandemic poster all your own you can see the website for details to bid on one or if you’re a U.S. resident you can enter on Twitter and Instagram to win a poster or jacket.
 
And you thought billboards went out with Mail Pouch tobacco.
 
 
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Reach Out But Don’t Touch Someone

Michael Leave a comment
I saw this posted on Instagram last week and I was certain that had they had more than this in 1918 we would still be in the throes of the Spanish Flu pandemic although by now it would be epidemic because only in the U.S. would there still be people claiming “it’s going to go away.”
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Imagine being able to share your opinions with only the closest of friends and family. It had to be with only those closest to you or you’d be broke long before your mask wore out. In 1918 when this ad was published*, although local service was only $1.50 a month, long distance was pricey, and long distance started not that far away. A cross country call ran about $5 per minute, cross state a little less than $2, and cross town, as much as 15 cents per minute. All in a time when the average 3 bedroom apartment was renting for $10 a month and a laborer was clearing $5 a day when a day’s work was available. 
 
There was no hue and cry over masks, isolation, soap shortages, or whether college football will be played this fall. Well, they may have been huing and/or crying but you kept it to yourself rather than passing yourself off as some sort of an expert because you read something in the Evening Star. (Although in fairness to this pandemic’s questionable coverage, that of 100 years ago was also often sparse, conjecture laden, contradictory, or all three.) (And then some.) (But then 1920 was also a Presidential election year so why should they have expected any less.) (Or more.)
 
There’s a particular hue being cried in our neck of the woods. A local amusement park is being sued because it is requiring all patrons to be masked at all times and on all rides, the exceptions being in their food venues while one is eating. The suit is brought by the parent of a child with sensory challenges and cannot wear a mask and the prohibition to entry without one violates to his rights. I don’t claim to be a Constitutional lawyer but my cursory review of the document didn’t reveal reference to the freedom of rollercoastering. Perhaps she’s hanging her mask on the line “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” from the Declaration of Independence. The suit led by a mother who states she also has anxiety and cannot wear a mask had gathered the support of several other families and seeks compensatory and punitive damages for pain, suffering, anxiety, humiliation, emotional distress, and “the loss of the ordinary pleasures of life.” 
 
Silly me, I always thought the ordinary pleasures of life were music, reading, sitting under a tree on a sunny day, friends, food, and chasing dreams never meant to be caught. I suppose I should call my lawyer for further clarification. Fortunately it’s not long distance. 
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*The person who originally posted this noted it was an actual ad from 1918 and I have no reason to doubt her, she not being one prone to hype, hysteria, or hyperbole**. However, that phone looks more like what was most common after 1920. But then on the other however, it is an ad from a telephone company so they would likely illustrate it with the most cutting edge equipment they have. You don’t see T-Mobile pushing iPhone 6’s.
 
**Okay, I have to ask this, what do you think about hype and hyperbole? In the dictionary, “hype” in the sense of extravagant promotion includes it first entered the English language in 1920 from the United States but with no etymological origin, or more often, “origin unknown.” I’m thinking it came about when fast patter was taking hold in informal speech and was most likely just a shortened version of hyperbole, which was convenient because it shortened the word dramatically and important because it shortened a word most people tend to either misspell or mispronounce. 
 
***You can stop looking for three asterisks in the post body, there isn’t one. Well, actually there is one asterisk but there isn’t one instance of 3. Anyway…speaking of misspellings, I had a heck of a time getting spellcheck to let me keep “throes” in the first paragraph. It insisted I really meant to type “throws” or “thrones” and would not take my word for it that not only did indeed I want “throes” I want it added to the dictionary. This from a program that has no problem adding words I legitimately misspelled and then have to go through Tartarus**** and back to remove. 
 
****That it knows!