Tag Cleanliness

Cleanliness is next to the side of the road

Michael Leave a comment

The story goes that back in the Sixties, Lady Bird Johnson needed a “First Lady Project.”  Back then the First Ladies didn’t plan on making a run for their own presidency their project.  They concentrated on more homey topics.  One of Mrs. Johnson’s was litter.  Actually, it was anti-litter, particularly along our highways.  The Highway Beautification Act of 1965 was the result of her campaign to make the American roadsides more beautiful places.   The Act mostly addressed billboards and roadside businesses, but there was a third part that concerned itself with cleaning up those roads.

Keep America Beautiful isn’t just a slogan, it’s a non-profit organization founded in 1953 with exactly that goal in mind.  For sixty years and now through 563 affiliates, KAB promotes keeping it clean.  Between Mrs. Johnson, Keep America Beautiful, and the hundreds of thousands of volunteers who spend every weekend somewhere picking up roadside trash, you’d think the US highway system would be clean enough to eat off.  We’re here to tell you it isn’t.

Now that spring is here and the mounds of snow aren’t lining the highways, mounds of plastic bags, sandwich containers, bottles, cans, pieces of furniture, whole furniture, mattresses, old clothes, cardboard boxes, dead animals, and car parts line the highways.  That’s not a theoretical list, that’s what we have actually seen, with our own eyes, just over the past few days.  We wonder how some of the stuff gets there.  He of We was driving along an Interstate highway when he had to do a double-take to make sure that was a set of 4 chairs along the median.  She of We pointed out a front bumper of what appeared to be a late model car.  Now we have to ask, if there was an accident and it pulled away your bumper, shouldn’t someone take it along with the dead car when it gets towed away?

So enough of this littering.  First of all, we want everyone to stand up, raise his or her right hand, and swear (or affirm) that nobody will ever throw anything out of a moving or un-moving vehicle.  If you finish your Big Mac you will wait until you get home to throw away the bag.  If you are hiding unauthorized eating from your spouse or partner, stop at a gas station before you get home and throw the evidence away in one of their cans.

Now that we can prevent a little, let’s clean up a lot.  We want everyone to pick up the trash that is in front of your house.  It’s there.  It might only be an egg carton that fell out of the trash can when the garbage detail was out last week, or a few cigarette butts that somebody tossed out a window since cars don’t have ashtrays any more.  Pull on a pair of gloves and clean up your space.  “I didn’t do it” is not an excuse.

And finally, if you should have an accident, and believe us when we say we hope there are never any more accidents, but if you should have one, please clean up your car parts.

Now, let’s get out there and do some Spring Cleaning for everyone in the world to enjoy.  Or next week we’ll tell you about Lady Bird’s other projects with the Head Start Program.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?

 

A Real Reality Check

Michael Leave a comment

We present to you our favorite least favorite happenings from the past week.  Call it a rant review.

Bathrooms.  Everybody has a favorite bathroom story.  We have a favorite bathroom question.  She of We asks why Ladies ’ Rooms always are so filthy.  Amid the toilet paper on the floor, the water on the sink, the garbage around but not quite in the trash, can you actually say any real ladies are stopping by?  Is it because of the amount of time women spend in the room that they give up on niceties?  Perhaps because women line everything with toilet paper so their bodies don’t actually touch anything in the room that when the paper slips off the seat or the handle or the sink they aren’t going to be the ones to pick it up.  Naturally that led to the follow up question: if they aren’t going to touch anything while out why don’t they wait to get home?

Airlines:  You have to be very lucky and want to travel between just the right two cities in America to get a direct flight to Anywhere, USA.  Otherwise, it’s “connecting through” on your itinerary.  Our question:  When does a layover become a rant?  He of We was connecting through Houston last week.  That’s just about halfway between east and west and that’s where United decided to have him switch planes.  When he arrived at the halfway point he discovered that his connection was going to be 3 hours and 10 minutes late in taking off.   Apparently United ran out of planes and was sticking by the initial plan to fly the plane that was due to arrive at 5pm even though it didn’t leave its departure city (4 hours away) until after 4pm.  The delay was 10 minutes less than the expected flight time to He of We’s final destination putting him there not slightly before 9pm but slightly after midnight.  Add three hours due to time zone changes and it was really a long day.  United was good enough to recognize the inconvenience they caused and offered everyone waiting at the gate for those 3 hours free soft drinks.  The women probably made a mess of the Ladies’ Room.

Stupid questions:  A variety of stupid questions were asked of us last week.  
     “Are these all the same?”  Clerk at the everything store when ringing up 20 CDs.  (Why we were buying 20 CDs will be coming up in a future post but no, there were indeed all different.)  
     Will you be wanting any dessert?”  Waitress AFTER she placed our check on the table.
     “Is that in the morning?”  Wake-up call operator responding to He of We’s request for a call at 6am.”

Reservations:  On the aforementioned trip that He of We got to wait for 3 hours to finish, he did eventually arrive at his destination and the hotel there.  Our question is why do we bother?  His reservation was for 4 nights in an up-graded, non-smoking room.  Upon check-in the clerk told him he could have 2 nights in such a room.  After that the room he was going to be put in would be unavailable and they would move him to a different, but similar room.  He of We asked the obvious question, was there anywhere in the hotel he could stay for all 4 nights without having to move.  Of course, he could have 4 nights in a standard room.  There’s a follow-up question in there somewhere but we can’t figure out exactly what it is.   

So those were our questions of the week.  Or maybe, those were our questions of the weak. 

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?