Tag Christmas

Next to the Last Minute

Michael 1 Comment

There’s a week to go to Christmas and we’re coming down the back stretch.  (If you think you hated that analogy just wait until Monday.)

With only that week to go one would think there’s more of a sense of urgency out there.  He was out shopping just yesterday and there weren’t so many others out there with him.  According to the news reports the local stores on Black Friday and its accompanying weekend weren’t overly packed.  Cyber Monday and its accompanying week didn’t break any records.  Yet there still wasn’t much of a hustle, barely even a bustle.  Maybe everybody is waiting for this weekend to go out and pick up pre-Christmas sales on the last weekend before the big day.

All of the sidewalks and mallwalks, the storefronts and checkouts should be packed.  The streets should be filled with UPSFedExMail trucks.  Shopping cart corrals inside the stores should be empty with shoppers beating each other about the head and shoulders for the few remaining plastic baskets.  Shopping cart corrals outside the stores should be full waiting for the lot attendants to gather them up, stick a battery powered, remote controlled pushme/pullyou onto the front/back of the line-up and get them back in the store before they run out of plastic baskets.  And the shelves should be empty.  Empty until this weekend when they will be restocked with the pre-Christmas weekend sale merchandise.

But no, the sidewalks aren’t packed and the streets aren’t filled.  The shopping carts are where you’d expect to find them in August.  The plastic baskets are stacked to the ceilings and the shelves are empty.  Of course they are.  Otherwise there would be no reason to go shopping this weekend.

So while everyone else was either waiting for this weekend or was of those who shopped on Cyber Monday and are waiting for the UPSFedExMail truck to pull up in their driveways, He shopped alone yesterday.  Even though many of the shelves were empty, enough of them were filled sufficiently to fill his shopping cart that he didn’t have to wrestle away from other shoppers.

It was actually sort of pleasant.  How disappointing.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

The Great Annual Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide

Michael 2 Comments

Nine shopping days until Christmas.  Go ahead and count if you like, that’s all that’s left.  Nine days.  Remember, don’t count Christmas Eve as a shopping day, there are just too many other things going on then.  Even if you do count it, that’s not a lot of days left and they almost got by without the Official Annual Real Reality Show Blog Christmas Catalog Shopping Guide.  (Yeah, we missed last year but you can find 2012’s here: “And If You Order Now…” (Dec 17, 2012), and 2011’s here: “Buy The Way…” (Dec. 1, 2011).  If fact, you might want to pull them up as quick references.)

As close as it is to the big day, He’s mailbox has been a virtual dearth of Christmas catalogs.  An honest to gosh absence of some of the biggest names – and prices – of the holiday shopping season.  So scarce are they that it will be almost impossible to top the $500 snow shoes from years gone buy, err, by.  (Ok, so they were only $470.  That was two years ago.  With inflation they have to be $500 by now or they really aren’t from a decent designer.)  True, one can always go on line to find the highest in fashion – and prices – but that’s just not the same as good old fashioned catalog shopping in a good old fashioned recliner preferably while drinking a good old fashion.  So to make up for the lack of the high end “Hammacher Schlemmer” type mailings we will make do with this year’s newspaper insert from “Five Below,” that fabulous outlet where no item is priced more than $5.00.

So let’s start with those snow shoes.  You’ll recall from 2012 that our guide was very high on picking up a family set of these offered in eight designer colors for the low, low price of $470 for the complete ensemble.  Probably not appropriate for outdoors use, Five Below does have Stompeez slippers that “come to life when you walk” at their top of the line price of $5.00, but that is for just one pair.  Outfitting the entire family will set you back a whopping $20.  But, it is Christmas.

A featured item in the 2011 guide was the double barrel marshmallow cannon with dishwasher safe magazines at a very reasonable $39.95.  The current Five Below insert really doesn’t have an equivalent item but it does include a goblet that will hold an entire bottle of wine.  Excess is after all, excess.  And it can be yours for the less than excessive price of again $5.00.

Nothing will ever compare with the $60,000 Optimal Resonance Audiophile Four-Way Three-Dimensional Soundstage Quality Speakers (each requiring its own amplifier, not included) from the 2011 guide.  Imagine where that is priced out today after three years of inflation and obligatory price increases.   We suggested then that if you can afford $60,000 speakers you are encouraged to make a quite generous donation to your local symphony, opera company, musical theater, or other organization requiring pricey speakers and pocket the extra $50,000.  Otherwise, Five Below has you covered here also.  Earbuds, headphones, sound capsules, and even plain old speakers are shown throughout their flyer for your choice at only $5.00 each.  Buddy, can you spare $59,995?

There you go, nine days and one catalog to fill out your “nice list” for this year.  It could be that some of you actually got the high end catalog is your mail boxes this year.  If so, don’t pass it around.  Just keep it to yourself.  It would be a shame if someone got snow shoes again this year.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Being Beholden

Michael 1 Comment

It’s here.  Or soon will be.  It is Friday, December 12, 2014, otherwise known as Ugly Christmas Sweater Day.  (And can somebody please explain why it’s ok to call it an ugly Christmas sweater but to be politically correct we have to wish each other happy holidays?) (But that’s a post for a different day.)  (Thank holidays.)

OK, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day has been officially going on for quite a few years but now seems to be really getting traction.  It could be because there are more television shows with ugly sweater themes, it could be because there are now television commercials with ugly sweater themes, or it could be that there are now commercials for ugly sweaters.  True, you won’t see them in prime time network airspace but they are there.  Plop “Ugly Sweater” into your favorite search engine and see what you get back.  One or two news blurbs and a lot of sales!  If you don’t want to buy you can even rent.

To be sure, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is not at all about ugly Christmas sweaters any more than ugly Christmas sweaters are about ugly sweaters.  It’s a day to do its best to make you smile your smilest – err, your biggest smile.  🙂   Maybe even more than Ice Cream for Breakfast Day.  (If you forgot, that’s the first Saturday in February.)

To be even more sure, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is to sweaters and sweatshirts and jerseys what ugly Christmas tie day is to ties and ugly Christmas hat day is to hats and ugly Christmas decorations day is to decorations.  It’s about the people who wear them and their exuberance for the holiday.  (Yes, the holiday – singular, as in Christmas, not the generic holidays – plural, for everyone too ashamed to admit there is something special that happened and is worth commemorating with all the energy befitting an irreplaceable occasion.)  (But that’s still a post for a different day.)  (Thank holidays.)

The people who celebrate Ugly Christmas Sweater Day aren’t interested in whether you think their sweaters are ugly.  Nor their ties or hats or Town Square Christmas trees.  They know they aren’t.  If they were they (the sweaters) would still be on the store shelves.  To them (the sweater wearers) they (the sweaters) are the most beautiful pieces of clothing they (do we really need to keep going) own.  Beautiful because they (sweaters) symbolize the joy and energy they (people) get to feel not just at Christmas but all year long.  Because, let’s even be most sure, you know darn well these are the same people who have an ugly Easter bonnet hiding in a closet for next spring.   And that’s just fine too!

Ugly Christmas Sweater Day, a new tradition worthy of being carried on through the next few generations, or at least the next few weeks.  And it’s so easy.  Find a sweater you think is just too cool to not be shared with everybody you pass on Ugly Christmas Sweater Day.  Wear it and share it.  Repeat.  Why should turkey be the only holiday tradition that returns for several days?

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Giving Thursday?

Michael Leave a comment

It’s been a week around here.  Quite a week.  Quite a month.  We made it through Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday.  And let’s not forget the days leading to and away from these occasions.  What do they have in common?  Giving with a side of Guilt.  We can all admit it.  If it wasn’t for the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, a lot of us would never get the chance to declare “Charitable Contributions” on next year’s tax return.

Around here one of the local television stations has been for years a major sponsor for an annual Thanksgiving food drive. For weeks they would broadcast PSAs encouraging donations to the local food bank to build the coffers as strong as possible for a special Thanksgiving distribution.  They even convinced a local bank to match cash donations physically made at the bank.  The day before Thanksgiving they announced the total amount raised.  An impressive amount but the amount isn’t important.  What is important is that even then, after all the food was packed, the turkeys were ready, and the meals were being prepared, people wanted to know if they could still donate to the food bank.

It was on Thanksgiving morning that the news programs all led off with interviews of volunteers at missions, shelters, kitchens, or what you will call them who open their doors to feed the poor and homeless.  While the organizers told of the number of men, women, and families who would stop in both to serve and be served, the cameras panned the pans of turkey, stuffing, vegetables, soup, and pies.  And on each TV station the intrepid reporter would ask if they had enough volunteers for that day if someone wanted to stop by to help.

The evening newscast on Giving Tuesday made certain that viewers realized that even though it was late in the day there was still time to hit the Internet to find a worthwhile charitable organization to accept donations.  They also had stories on the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Campaign, the local clothing drives, and the donations car dealers would make to various associations if one test drove or bought a vehicle.

All of these had some sort of sense of urgency to them.  It was as though those who were responsible for these various drives knew that if the public didn’t get around to giving now it could be another year before people gave of their spare change or their spare time.

It might be that this is the time when wallets are opened more regularly but most people recognize that there are hungry people in May just as there are in December.  That a dollar donated to the free energy fund in spring still heats the water as it does in winter.  That a light jacket in April is just as appreciated as a warm scarf in January.

The needy have no season.  Unfortunate circumstances can befall any one any day.  If you didn’t get the chance to donate to your food bank, coat drive, or other charity this week, there will always be time.  It might have a catchy ring to it but Giving has no special day.  If you missed last Tuesday there are 364 other days to pick from.  And we believe that most do.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Movie Along – or – There’s Nothing to See Here

Michael Leave a comment

Thanksgiving just isn’t the same holiday as it used to be.  Used to be just sitting around eating with friends and family.  Used to be the day one would rest up for the assault on the Christmas sales the upcoming weekend.  Used to be parades and football.  And it used to be the evening when all the Christmas movies and specials would hit the airways and America would fall asleep in front of “It’s a Wonderful Life” having just experienced part of one.  It’s time for another tradition to bite the dust.

Where did all the Christmas movies go?  It didn’t take a very long look at the TV listings for last Thursday to see an absence of any cinematic welcome to the Yule season. Oh, there were movies.  “Jurassic Park,” “Maverick,” “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,” “Eight Men Out,” and “Tora! Tora! Tora!,” all good movies but not a Christmas Tree among them, were featured by the broadcast and basic cable stations.  No “Miracle on 34th Street,” no “Christmas Vacation,” not even a “Fred Claus” was beamed into living rooms on Thanksgiving.  There must have been too many shoppers out looking for Thursday Night Pre-Black Friday Specials for the networks to take a chance on making the Christmas movie season opener special.

Certainly sometime in the next 25 days we will see all of the “Home Alone” offerings, a “White Christmas,” and several versions of a “Christmas Carol.” If one makes an effort to see them one will see them.  Otherwise there will be snippets gleaned while cookies are baked, presents are bought, packages are wrapped, and cards are signed.

Maybe that’s the tradition.  Not so much the movies but the memories of them while the hustle and bustle of the season grabs the biggest part of our attention.  We’re living in a time when time is more valuable than most of what we do with it.  And Christmas is the time when time is at its dearest.  There is more of everything in this last month of the year.  It might be the only time that our houses look different with seasonal decorations.  We spend most of our disposable income right now.  More of us go to more churches and services than any other time of the year.  We plan, attend, and even avoid some of the only parties of the year right now.  We even know we have to bake cookies but we aren’t sure why.

Whether it’s with the memories, the movies, or the cookies, Thanksgiving still starts the Christmas season.  Make of it what you will.  It’s your time.  Even if you choose to spend it watching “The Poseidon Adventure” and swear it really is a Christmas movie.  There’s even a tree in it.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

(To see some of our favorite Christmas movies, go to “And the Winner is…” from December 24, 2011.)

 

Everything Old Is New Again

Michael Leave a comment

It’s that most wonderful time of the year again.  Well, it’s that time of the year again.  That time when every department store has a CD player in the shape of a 1950s jukebox, every home improvement store has next to the high tech LED lights those big C-3 bulbs, and every video department has “Miracle on 34th Street,” “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Frosty the Snowman.”  Yes, it’s retro time!

Retro is an interesting concept.  Can’t come up with an original idea?  Retro it!  Can’t come up with a winning idea?  Retro it!  Can’t come up with any idea that won’t get you fired before the holiday breaks?  Retro it!  And quite often it works.

There truly is more right than wrong when it comes to retro.  Consider these.  Look at all of the retro car designs that have hit the road in the past few years.  The underpinnings were new but the looks from the Chevy HHR to the Ford Mustang were based on clear winners from the past.

Check out some of the most recent movies to hit the big screens.  “Walk Among the Tombstones” released a couple of months ago is based on a Lawrence Block novel published in 1992.  The Bond flick “Casino Royale” from 2006 was written in 1967.  The upcoming “Imitation Game” is based on the 1983 publication The Enigma.

Entire television networks have been built around classic television shows from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.    Feel free to consider this as retro-programming.  Sometimes the networks will even run original commercials with the shows.  Now that’s retro!

Fashion, furniture, and architecture are rediscovering styles from a generation or two past.  Classic art is experiencing a resurgence in galleries and at auctions.  Even food is going retro.  The hottest meat in town is buffalo – that would be burgers, not wings.  And they are being sold out of trucks a la Mr. Softee.  Modern is taking some time off so we can appreciate what was.

Obviously there is much more right with retro than there is wrong.  It’s the seasonal stuff that one sees in catalogs and weekly ad flyers that give retro a certain queasiness.  You can’t even make a cheap imported CD player look like a classic jukebox let alone create the feel of a 1950s diner in your family room just because now you can play Lady Gaga in a plastic box with an arched top and blinking lights.  So let’s leave the retro to those who know what they are doing and how to develop it for today’s markets.

Now if you really want to gift your favorite bloggers with a 1950s style jukebox, type “Jukebox for sale” into your favorite search engine. Skip the results that start with “CD” and peruse the remaining offerings.  There’s a corner in the family room ready to go.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Let’s Go Clubbing!

Michael 1 Comment

The holidays are coming.  Some of the retailer advertisements would have had you believe that the holidays came a couple of months ago but with Thanksgiving rolling in next week and Christmas just another month after that, we feel pretty confident saying they are looming.  Soon all our free time will be taken up with cooking, baking, and decorating.  If you’re looking for that last piece of regularly scheduled insanity, this week might be your last chance.  And what better way to close out the insanity than with a weekend at the clubs!

No, not those clubs.  The shopping clubs!  Regardless of the level club you patronize it’s only going to get more frantic from now through Christmas.

To start, there are the classic shopping clubs.  To these you pay a fee for the privilege of being notified of special deals on special days for special people willing to wait especially for that special sale.  Usually only on-line, shopping clubs are clubs in the truest sense.  You have to be invited, you have to pay your dues, and you don’t get to order off the menu.  Gilt Group and Beyond the Rack are two popular shopping clubs.  Some clubs require a membership but without a membership fee.  These are the public pubs of the shopping clubs, usually divisions of other retailers and include Haute Look and Rue La La.

At the other end of the spectrum are the corner bar versions of our clubs.  These are the remainder stores.  Big Lots, Ollie’s, and Tuesday Morning are filled with bargains that nobody else needs, wants, or could sell.  Everybody is welcome and the discounts can be deep.  But be cautious while clubbing at the neighborhood tavern.  Not all of the deals are deals and not all of the merchandise is of the expected deep discount.

The most common of the clubs that will see high level holiday shopping sprees are the warehouse clubs.  Costco, Sam’s and BJs may be the only remaining warehouse clubs in the United States.  Here you pay a fee and buy in large quantities.  So large are the quantities that stand-up comedians have fed on the warehouse clubs since the Price brothers turned an airplane hangar into the first Price Club in 1976.  (If you’re wondering, Price Club eventually merged with Costco.)  You may not need a pallet load of toilet paper but if you want one, the warehouse clubs will sell you one.  Or more.

Yep, it will probably be the warehouse clubs that will be filled this week and weekend as zillions of Christmas lights, mountains of frozen appetizers, plentiful place-settings, hundreds of miles of garland, oodles of electronics, and the occasional occasional chair will be trucked out to pickups and vans and the shopping season opens with a round of clubbing more feverish than Saturday night at a mid-seventies disco.

And they even come with their own cover charge.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Second Class, All The Way

Michael 1 Comment

It was during the first week of November this year.  That’s when He’s mailbox saw its first Christmas card.  Just like other years it was from a fund-raising organization.  And just like other years it was indeed a real Christmas card.  Unlike other years it came seven weeks before Christmas – impressively early even by fundraiser standards.

We like Christmas cards here.  They’ve been bought and counted and soon will be signed.  Most will get a hand written note scrawled inside it.  They will be addressed and stamped and put out for the mailperson.  Not as many as in years past but all to the best of recipients.  The most deserving.  The crème de la crème. But none of that just yet.  Not until sometime after Thanksgiving, probably a couple of weeks into December.  Even at Christmas mail only takes a couple or three days to get just about anywhere.  That’s real First Class service.

And that reminds us…back in the day when our parents were sending out Christmas cards there was Second Class mail in the US.  What ever happened to it?   Way back then one could send a card or letter by second class mail.  It seemed the only requirement was that the correspondence could not be sealed.  In exchange for the risk of just about anybody reading your mail (not unlike a postcard), postage was a penny less than First Class mail.  That was when First Class mail was something like six cents.  Today’s USPS rate sheet doesn’t even include the words Second Class but there is something called First Class for Businesses that’s cheaper than retail (read “real people”) Frist Class at 38 cents versus 49 cents.  Hmmm.  We wonder.

Somewhere along the way the post office lost its way a bit.  They’ve lost their share of mail also but that’s not the point here.  It seems to us that whether its 49 cents or 38 cents or $5.75 (that’s for Priority Mail), it’s still a deal to get a letter to any address in the country.  The other guys charge at least $13.50 for two day service and they lose packages also.  Back to the post office, it has lost its way a bit.  Between some late deliveries and salary issues, and whether to deliver or not deliver on Saturday and the general ineptitude that comes from any government agency (they say they aren’t but they really are), some people are losing faith in the service.  But every year around this time more people are planning on counting on the USPS to send their Christmas greetings to the masses.  Not by e-mail, not by text, and certainly not at $13.50 a piece.  Nope, those cards and letters are going by the old stand-by, the post office.

Most of them will go out sometime after Thanksgiving, probably a couple of weeks into December.  With their flaps seals shut.  First Class.  All the way.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Up Next: Stoopid Tuesday

Michael Leave a comment

Only 52 shopping days until Christmas.  We could have sworn Black Friday was just a couple weeks ago.  Oh wait.  It was.  Seems around here stores have been advertising “Black Friday Prices” for their weekend sales for the past month or so.  Weekend sales, actually one day sales (with an extra preview day and sometimes an extra wrap-up day) are sweeping the country.  Everything is cheaper on Saturday.  It makes one wonder what those poor schmucks who work the weekend have to pay when they go shopping on Tuesday.

Tuesday has to be the pits, shopping wise.  We know about the weekend sales (actually one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day on Friday and sometimes an extra wrap-up day on Sunday).  We know that on Monday there will be unadvertised specials to get rid of the “special purchases” brought in just for the more unsuccessful weekend sales.  Thursday is the day the buyers set out the stuff that will be on sale on the upcoming weekend sales and there will always be new discounts for the shopper willing to use his or her store credit card to reap those extra savings on this extra savings day.  Wednesday is the day that the grocery stores end their weekly specials so everybody is there picking up the items they said they would go back and get before the sale ended.  That leaves Tuesday as the only day that a retail store actually sells stuff at the full retail price.  Assuming that somebody actually goes shopping on Tuesday – Stoopid Tuesday.

But things will be a little bit better now that there are only 52 shopping days until Christmas.  Just in yesterday’s paper there were advertising supplements for trees, ornaments, lights, toys, and camping gear with their advertised prices good all week long.  But the ads for clothes, shoes, scarves, hats, gloves, outerwear, and underwear were noticeably missing having come out on Thursday for their usual weekend sales (actually one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day Friday).  You can get a great deal on a crossbow this Tuesday but forget about finding any deals on a new winter coat until later in the week.

We hope you don’t have to work weekends so you too can take full advantage of the amazing “Black Friday Prices” at this week’s weekend sales (you know, the one day sales on Saturday with an extra preview day Friday) without the annoying wait for Black Friday.  But if you have to work this weekend remember, there are only 8 Stoopid Tuesday shopping days until Christmas.  That leaves you with 44 other days for the good stuff.  You’ll be fine.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.

 

Merry Ghosties

Michael Leave a comment

There are 33 days until Halloween.  That’s an important number to keep in mind.  Thirty-three days.  Just last week on a news report, we were told that Americans would spend about $7 billion on Halloween this season.  There is one local couple who won’t be in that spending frenzy.  They were spotted last weekend buying a Christmas tree.  For them, Halloween must have been purchased sometime in July!

We all know that the stores have Christmas merchandise out already.  Folks are perusing the aisles with shopping carts filled with fall decorations and often will stop to ogle the rows of pre-lit, pre-decorated, pre-gifted Christmas trees before moving on to the motion activated ghoul door ornament.  But nobody buys those things yet.  The Christmas trees, not the ghouls.

If people start buying Christmas now where will the analysts be next year when predicting Halloween spending?  They could be out of jobs and then who will buy their door knocker embellishments be they ghoulies or evergreens for them?  If we have any plans on reading how much we’ll be spending on Halloween 2015, we have a lot of shopping to do now for 2014!

To make the predictors close to being right we need to spend about $3 million in costumes, $2 billion in candy, another $2 billion in decorations, and a couple hundred million on pet costumes and goodies.  How do we think we’re going to manage those sums if people are out there already buying Christmas trees?  It’s enough to make you think if you need more eggs for Easter.

Now that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you.